Jack Monroe #376 Schrödinger's Poor Person

[allybongo]

OMG OMG OMG THIS IS MY ACTUAL ANEURYSM

I am actual prisoner Frau of 3 years. I now work in the criminal justice system myself She knows nothing, absolutely nothing about the complexities of food and nutrition in the prison estate.

It’s not a case of making up slop recipes. There are addicts with nutritional needs, very poorly people on the hospital wing, ladies who have just had babies, geriatrics with individual needs. On top of that the governors are trapped within a budget, depending if the jail is either privately or HMP run.

it’s a minefield that requires a whole load of professionals to pick through which they mostly can’t do very successfully. It’s an absolute headache for the Independent Monitoring Board and the Ministry of Justice.

And she’s claiming they are consulting ‘Jack Monroe’ behind the scenes????????

Which prisons is she apparently working with? Is she consulting with Sodexo?

That’s it I’m dead

It’s just one horrible, distasteful lie too far. I work with the charities that do hard slog day in and day out to campaign for prison reform - particularly food and healthcare. And here she is inserting herself into something she knows absolutely nothing about. Fucking gruesome little woman.

 

[Limey]

Kirsty Strickland speaks for all of us:

 

[That Forensic Man]

Left - fruit and veg calories (estimated using online sources)
5x sweet potatoes 560
1x cucumber 30
8x bananas 800
4x small avocados 640
5x large red onions 315
6x small red onions 174
7x small pears 510
7x small apples 546
1x bag mixed leaf 50
10x small oranges 450
9x medium carrots 225
1x celery bunch 50
1x punnet mushrooms 100
1x bag cherry tomatoes 50
1x punnet plums 200
1x bag leeks 50
Total 4,750

Right - cupboard calories (actuals from Asda website, essentials or smartprice)
1x loaf 800g wholemeal bread 1,848
1x tin 400g chickpeas 592
2x tins 400g peeled plum tomatoes 176
1x tin 400g peach slices 242
1x 1lt apple juice from concentrate 460
1x 1lt skimmed uht milk 370
2x packs 70g instant custard 528 (makes 850ml)
1x pack 200g 10 cheese slices 566
1x pack 250g chocolate chip cookies 1,242
1x tub 200g gravy granules 960 (makes 3l)
1x jar 411g lemon curd 1,146
1x tub 500g low fat natural yogurt 280
1x bag 125g roasted and salted cashew nuts 777
1x pack 200g greek style salad cheese 588
1x bag 180g lightly salted tortilla chips 883
1x bag 1kg porridge oats 3,720
1x block 100g dark chocolate 518
Total 14,896

Total calories available for the week 19,646

Calories needed per day
13yo boy 2,414
Adult male 2,500
Adult female 2,000
Total 6,914

Total calories needed for the week 48,398

Calorie balance for the week 28,752 deficit
Or only 40.6% of needed is available

But nevermind, it was all bollocks. Jack's already managed to disavow what she claimed (what was I saying about weasel words?) before anyone has time to do the maths anyway. To meet the weekly calories buying just the same items her £20 per week spend would be ~£49.27. So she's got 30,000 calories (60% of the food for that week) rattling around in the back of a sideboard or freezer somewhere each week, it's simply not sustainable only buying £20 per week.

Corrections on the back of an envelope.

Now fuck off x

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Dear Jack, thank(space)you. Turns out this performative laying out of a very small selection of your groceries and photographing them to post online

Spoiler: Is Really Quite Cathartic

 

[RosieRoo]

I have posted about this before but I am an actual recent cancer Frau and her baiting of this is what always brings me out of lurkdom. In the last year I had chemotherapy, radiotherapy and brachytherapy only to be told it hadn’t worked. I then had a pelvic exenteration which is a radical hysterectomy and bladder and bowel removal leaving me with two stoma bags and early menopause. I am 42. I have been told that this was last chance saloon and if any cancer comes back there is not much that can be done. I am going back to work in a week’s time.
I appreciate that waiting for test results or biopsies can be really stressful and worrying but it is nothing like the heart stopping moment you are told you have cancer and then waiting for it be staged so you know what the prognosis is. For Jack to try and justify her cancer baiting posts by referring to scares she has has is truly despicable.

 

[BogBogart]

JM was an elite firefighter
JM thinks radiators have gas intakes.

 

[Belgian Bun]

 

[Dogmuck]

Don’t know if this has been mentioned but just another pointless lie by our special one…

 

[moaningmyrtle24]

These are from the academic who specialises in media representation of poverty

 

[Limey]

Spoiler: Rant

Sorry fraus, but I'm fucking furious. My sister is dying in her mid 40s and this clown is using a cancer cosplay as a squirrel to distract from legitimate questions about her finances? Fuck her and everyone who enables her. She deserves everything that is coming to her, I hope Private Eye take her to the cleaners.

I wonder how this is going down with Nigella, given her own tragic family history with cancer and her well publicised remarks on the subject? Maybe it is aimed at getting her back on side. I'd put literally nothing past this ghoul.

 

[Yel]

Don't give her a job Asda. You should have never let her run wild with the lies about value items being removed from the shelf.

Edited to add I mean don't give her social media work, as obviously Jack would never want nore be capable of a normal job in Asda.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Sorry I got extremely angry just then, for some reason that set of tweets really got me. I'm going to eat a microwaved pear to calm down but I don't have a microwave, do you think it will be ok if I just sit on it for a bit?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

This is a work of art! Do you sell prints?

That will be $44 a month, please, payment monthly in perpetuity. I’ll commit to addressing not actually sending you one some time in late 2024. Thank(space) you for your interest in my smol project. Also, if anyone would like any singing, ballet, poetry or piano thumping done, ping me.

(PS, just in case anyone thinks “oooh she’s some terrible tin hoarder”, I have an excuse! It’s the peak of Hurricane season in these here parts so we have to keep a stock in for us and the Vali cats)

 

[traumatised sideboard]

I did a £20 shop in Tesco today, where's my praise? I only bought a 30g pouch of tobacco but I've got food in the cupboards although I won't mention what it is so subscribe for more #TStoptips and don't forget to hit that like button pals

 

[Brian Butterfield]

 

[Orphan_Black]

Jack having a lovely time hauling her £20 shop home. Cheers Mr Asda!

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Yesterday: People are going to DIE
Today:

 

[Semi_literate_bot]

Don't give her a job Asda. You should have never let her run wild with the lies about value items being removed from the shelf.

View attachment 1532055

Sorry, is she trying to say that she carted two baskets around with her crumbly arthritic shoulders instead of USING A TROLLEY?

While scribbling furiously in her little notebook and adding it all up on a calculator? What a load of performative bullshit

 

[jenny2603]

View attachment 1533560

This is all perfectly normal and plausible. I would totally ask Jack to design a kitchen for me and it would be really urgent to have questions answered about gas pipes in the early hours of a bank holiday rather than just y'know explain to a professional what I want and discuss the best way to do it, during the week. I think I might start my own fantasy Twitter account "Hi guys, I've just been asked for some advice about opening a petting zoo is Stevenage and was wondering whether or not to get an owl but all my ornithologist friends are in bed", "Sorry guys, can't stop I've been asked to sort out some of this Ukraine stuff on Tuesday".

 

[Justacatindisguise]

Popping back for one minute to leave a message for Jack as I'm furious and not getting banned from twitter.

You're a total disgrace. You don't deserve to be around that child. Do you have any idea how traumatic it is to lose a parent? No, you don't, because you're 34 and yours are still here. You said you didn't tell anyone but two friends, not even your son. You also say he reads your tweets. You wanted to pay him to run your account. To put that information out there for him to find like that is beyond disgusting. Delete those tweets. Delete your account. Wipe your entire online presence for the sake of that child or don't be surprised when you lose access to him. Give everyone their money back, go to therapy and get a fucking job.