What’s interesting is that the sheer number of lies can contribute to why accusing someone of lying us hard to make stick. Catch someone out in one lie, and they’re the arsehole. Notice a whole pattern of lies, and a seasoned bullshitter can spin it as the other person is the arsehole.
i’ve been trying to think of who I’m reminded of by the pattern of small pointless lies among big ones, and it’s an old work colleague from when I worked in a care home, who got the job at the same time I did, and it was one of those things that was cumulative where I - and others - believed her and totally empathised until suddenly it was clear as day. Some highlights, without any analysis added, just the facts:
* turned up for interview in wedding dress, claimed she was getting married that afternoon. When I started the job after my CRB check (as it was then known) I met her and said “congratulations on the wedding” and she looked at me like I was mad for a few seconds, then thanked me.
* on the second week of employment claimed that a long standing staff member had attempted to sexually assault her, resulting in his suspension and expulsion
* months later claimed that a black action figure belonging to one of the residents of the care home triggered PTSD because it reminded her of the man she’d got sacked, took a week off work
*two days after a staff party where a few of us had been drunkenly sharing embarrassing kinks and I said I didn’t have any major ones but had a thing for red toenails she turned up for shift barefoot, red toenails, claimed her shoes had been vomited on on the bus so she’d thrown them away
*sent me lengthy messages that our immediate boss was being abusive and shouting at her whenever she was alone with him, claimed that the only reason she was still working there was because of my emotional support
*in her exit interview, claimed that she was leaving because of me (despite said messages being still in my inbox, and when my manager brought up this issue in my monthly supervision, he was totally unaware that she’d had issues with him, I showed him my messenger inbox giving him free rein to scroll back as far as he wanted, and he was like “this is complete fantasy, none of this happened that she described, and the impression she gave me of you is not at all what she’s saying here”
*any time she was alone with a service user, managed to sustain an injury resulting in two days off work
*claimed that she had to get taxis home or leave work half an hour early because all the bus stops near work dont stop when it’s only her at the bus stop, and as its a dangerous area she can’t walk home
*appeared a bit tipsy at work, I mentioned it to her discreetly with a ”mate are you ok? If the manager sees you pissed you’ll be in the shit, so it might be better if you go off sick” in response she claimed that her devout Muslim husband might have spiked her water flask with vodka. i said “but wouldn’t you be able to taste vodka In water? She said “yes, but I’m allergic to alcohol, so it only needs to be a trace amount and I could die” “does your husband know this?” “Yes” “so he tried to kill you?” “Erm…. no, I think he’s just testing me, he’s very controlling”
me
but what the fuck is that all about? Who writes like that.
