Jack Monroe #345 I've had to mute that Bootstrap fella

[Captainmouse]

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Jack Monroe #344 344%

Yes Jack, because that’s what severely depressed people do. They go to parties and jump in the pool. Starter for ten, did Jack actually jump into the pool? a) Didn’t happen b) it happened but only in Jack’s maverick brain c) Nah, she’s just making it up to titillate her bro incel stans with...

tattle.life

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I made a nice grid collage of Jack singing Landslide.

 

[NellieBoo]

I made a nice grid collage of Jack singing Landslide.

View attachment 1445220

That's lovely. You even captured the nose wipe at the beginning.

 

[Hollaaa]

I made a nice grid collage of Jack singing Landslide.

View attachment 1445220

The best part is no sound! Praise beans!

 

[usefullyuseless]

Okay, I'm going in - I'm going to finally watch the Landslide video.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Okay, I'm going in - I'm going to finally watch the Landslide video.

NO SAVE YOURSELF!!! Theres No going back…

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Okay, I'm going in - I'm going to finally watch the Landslide video.

Follow it up with Stand By Me (Oasis):

 

[usefullyuseless]

NO SAVE YOURSELF!!! Theres No going back…

Where were you 7 minutes ago Lumpy?

Oh that was painful. A 6 minute 25 second video and she spends the first 4 minutes prattling on about herself and how people on the internet are mean to her. The proscrastinating around the 2 minute mark is unintentionally hilarious. Then the singing starts! Around the 5 minute mark she gives it socks but it doesn't have the impact she was expecting. You just don't have the range, dear. The end then when she stares down the camera and repeatedly thanks the viewer. Yikes. I need a sweet tea after that.

Edit to add: we were off to a great start with the subtitles too

 

[NellieBoo]

Follow it up with Stand By Me (Oasis):

Ah you beat me to it. It's the dead shark eyed, slow blinking stare straight into my soul that freaks me out . I can't work out if this is during the period where she was supposed to be drinking a bottle of over proof/oven proof whisky a day, due to the frequency of lights on/lights off .

 

[YenE]

Follow it up with Stand By Me (Oasis):

I had to stop fast forward through the endless talking? Pray tell what wrongs are being righted by singing Oasis. Had a piano, sold a piano.
Also not posting will keep it private… but here it is whisper whisper whisper

Sing loudly and proudly if you love it, share if you want but stop with the endless bullshit.

 

[Shimmering]

Follow it up with Stand By Me (Oasis):

Omg, no lie, does anyone else hear a few off camera massive sniffs at the beginning when we are treated to footage of an empty chair? I couldn't watch the rest

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Is it me or is she just serving up vats of word soup recently? Like what is she actually saying? Send translator-os.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Lovely collage Marmalade.

I have to admit I heard the Jaws theme for this image.

 

[TreeTrunksApplePie]

Follow it up with Stand By Me (Oasis):

The faux embarrassment is the worst thing. Under the guise of “trying to do brave things” like it’s something she *must* do when it’s actually glaringly obvious she just thinks she’s more talented than she is and needs to indulge her narcissistic ego

Also yet another “singing” video where she spends more than half of it on a self indulgent speech about how brave she is and how mean people are and how by some mental gymnastics that means she must subject us to this out of tune, pitchy, nasal nonsense that should really just be saved for her shower.

 

[usefullyuseless]

Follow it up with Stand By Me (Oasis):

That was, unsurprisingly, awful.

I did enjoy the ~pwease be kind to me, I'm just a smol pixie~ bit before the mask slipped and she said 'if you don't like it keep your crappy opinions to yourself.'

 

[ChickenPorridge]

I find it very, very hard to believe she wasn't ~on something~ during Saturday's Poetry Corner. Who would choose to spend their weekend writing all that guff on Twitter? It's not even like the Likes were rolling in, she was largely ignored and probably muted a fair bit

 

[moldwarp]

I still don’t understand what she was trying to achieve with the singing vids. Did she think some A&R man (do they still exist?) was gonna be bowled over by her charisma uniqueness nerve & talent and give her an on the spot record deal?

 

[Ostapbender]

Recap:
- Jack dived into a paddling pool at a party
- She baked a lot of pellets biscuits
- She's across the news for work

- Angry at the radio because it woke her up with politics on the news. The only parties Jack wants to hear about have orange squash and paddling pools, pal.
- Annoyed at the Metro for tweeting a headline
- Can't think of anything else, send reminderos

 

[jenny2603]

I still don’t understand what she was trying to achieve with the singing vids. Did she think some A&R man (do they still exist?) was gonna be bowled over by her charisma uniqueness nerve & talent and give her an on the spot record deal?

This is Main Character Jack so she was probably expecting just that.

 

[usefullyuseless]

I still don’t understand what she was trying to achieve with the singing vids. Did she think some A&R man (do they still exist?) was gonna be bowled over by her charisma uniqueness nerve & talent and give her an on the spot record deal?

She was very clear at the start of the video that she does not want to make a career out of singing. Sorry to disappoint all the A&R people but please leave her alone