Jack Monroe #322 Mr T Roll and the Mitty Bungalow Mystery

[Louisepop]

Never replied on here but read all the background info this morning on the site and am literally lost for words at how awful this woman is.
I became a single mum when my child was 5mths, back to work full time when they were 7 mths. Had to pay for private nursery when being paid not much more than minimum wage and sort out private rent as council wouldn't help. Was bloody hard but just about doable on tax credits. No family help except odd weekend day when had to work. Much easier now child is at school and have had a promotion, but I have to say in my experience universal credit is a godsend and so much easier to use/fairer system than tax credits as it takes into account your actual childcare expenses and take home pay as opposed to an "average". Also any queries/underpayments have been dealt with extremely quickly and effectively, as long as you actively engage with the system. I am truly grateful and appreciative of this benefits system that keeps me able to work and afford childcare.

 

[colouredlines]

At least they recognise that the Shitty Bungalow is neither shitty nor a bungalow.

 

[Ostapbender]

The thread when Jack's away has enormous 'the teacher LEFT, no cover arrived and the class is being hilarious' vibes, love it!

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Robert Burns has risen from his grave to bless us all with a new poem called:

Tae A Smol Pixie
On Turning Her Up in Her Nest with the Polis
June, 2022

Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim’rous smol pixie beastie,
O, what a panic’s in thy titmas breastie!
Thou need na start scampering awa sae hasty,
Wi’ bickering rage tweetin brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an’ chase thee,
Wi’ murdering pumble!

I’m truly sorry HMRC's dominion
Has broken Pixie's Patreon union,
An’ justifies that ill opinion
Which makes thee startle
At us, thy poor, earth-born Tattlers
An’ fellow- honest non griftin mortal!

I doubt na, whyles, but thou may thieve;
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live oan Cotswolde Sideys!
A daimen-icker tiffany in tha lugs
‘S a sma’ requet;
I’ll get a blessin wi’ the lave,
An’ never miss’t!

Thy wee-bit shitey housie, too, in ruin!
Its silly wa’s the win’s are strewin!
An’ naething, now, to big a new ane,
O’ orangerie and hydrangie blue!
An’ bleak December’s win’s ur honkin,
Baith snell an’ keen!
Thy posties askin

Thou saw the pay pigs laid bare an’ waste,
An’ weary poverty comin fast,
An’ cozie here, beneath the grift,
Thou thought to dwell,
Till crash! the cruel polis past
Out thro’ thy cell.

That wee bit heap o’ muddy puddle,
Has cost thee monie a weary nibble!
Now thou’s turned out, for a’ thy trouble, by wicked land lady
But house or hald,
To thole the per Rialto,
An’ cranreuch cauld thy feet in snow!

But Pixie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best-laid schemes o’ smol pixies an’ goblins
Gang aft agley,
An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
For promis’d joy!

Still thou are not blest, compared wi’ me!
The money only toucheth thee:
But Och! I backward cast my e’e,
On prospects drear!
An’ forward, tho’ I cannot see,
I guess an’ fear that taxman, the polise, plus Lozza an his pals!

 

[LennyBriscoe]

They don't want to change and don't feel they need to. In their mind, they are perfect and special, better than, smarter than everyone else. There is nothing wrong with them. It's everyone else that is a problem and when things in their life go wrong, it's of course the fault of others, never the person with NPD. They don't feel any guilt or shame as they don't have empathy for others. They feel a lot of rage, jealousy and bitterness at other people certainly.

With regards to any treatment that may help her, she'd have to pay for this. With services how they are, any intensive work available is going to be given to people who are deemed a high risk of harm to themselves or other people. We know that even these people don't get the help they need, often with very sad consequences. She'd have to seek it privately, and I certainly can't see her paying out for, then engaging with the type of work that may have a chance of affecting change in her. People with NPD are notoriously treatment resistant, unfortunately.

And this could be the sticking point in AA for Jack. I don’t feel all that comfortable thinking deeply about someone else’s 12-Step journey (believe it or not!) but a huge part of the 12 Steps is to identify shortcomings and resentments, identify what part - if any - you’ve played in situations that you are carrying around and recognise where you can change your thinking. It’s HUGE. I genuinely don’t believe Jack is capable of either accepting her defects of character or being persuaded that her resentments (“either real or fancied”) are causing her damage and not worth the harm it’s doing to HER as well as those on the receiving end of her very public behaviour.

In my opinion, Jamie Oliver lives rent free in Jack’s head and she has a very real resentment towards him. I don’t think she has a basis for it and a Sponsor would do their best to help her see that and that she needs to let it go for her sake. He clearly doesn’t care. I’ve heard in many a meeting “resentment is a poison we take ourselves in the hope that someone else will die”. It’s quite a grave quote but it highlights the severity of an alcoholic carrying around a resentment.

Spoiler: One of my resentments

I had an issue with a boss at my work. She didn’t give me a managerial job when I’d been back to work for 6 months after long term sick leave (active alcoholism) and I really thought she’d done me over. I didn’t work the Steps as soon as possible after stopping drinking - which is not the recommended way to do it - so I carried it about longer than I had to. Anyway, I added her to my resentment list and discussed it with my sponsor, which led to me seeing it totally differently. My arrogance was still at play because I thought I deserved that job - dear hearts, I am not one of life’s managers so it would not have ended well and the sad thing was, I was focussing on what I thought she hadn’t done and overlooking everything she had done for me by supporting me and doing what she could to get me back to work.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[jenny2603]

This is disgusting.

Spoiler: Rimjob Squig

 

[colouredlines]

It's quite something. She comes up with utterly pointless ideas that for some unfathomable reason sends the squigs into a frenzy then can't be arsed doing the pointless things.

My favourite thing about Jack is that her fans are such patronising shits to her, and she doesn't seem to notice and/or care. So every inane statement - I'm making an index! I used the old tins to make tealights! I tidied my kitchen! I ate a maize snack! Boris is a meanie! I have a lever arch file! - is greeted with the type of praise you'd give a friend's slightly slow 5-year-old. "Ooh aren't you awfully clever, Jack! That's a very big lever arch file, isn't it? And look, you've managed to get all the receipts in there. Your mummy will be so proud!"

 

[ChickenPorridge]

She's drinking an awful lot of this alcohol free beer lately, whatever happened to good old fashioned flat lemonade with old teabags soaking in it?

 

[bowiethesdmn]

According to the Github, this appears to be the entirety of the VBI so far:

 

[jenny2603]

Yes Jack, Harold is a dream isn't he.

 

[Dogmuck]

Beer triangulation incoming

 

[Yel]

But she was so scared about changing her profile pic to a caravan holiday because of the abuse from trolls over Jack having a cheap domestic holiday and a few days away from her 20+ hour working days

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Ha ha! We’re not cliquey, we’re just a bit bonded with our own special language.

Chapeau!
To be fair I can see how it might look cliquey from the outside, but usually when a new person joins and asks about an in-joke or something, there’s always someone happy to explain it. If there are any lurkers, please don’t be shy.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

It's galling, her target audience (supposedly) I.e people like me can't even afford a stay cation and it's logistically difficult to find a suitable holiday destination for disabled children and all their equipment and meds. I don't have anyone I can trust to give my children the correct care and that includes family purely because they are elderly and live on the other side of Scotland. Jack never considers that she is very lucky to have a healthy child. Not one aspect of her 'work' has ever benefitted poor or disabled people. It's self serving. Her squigs are wilfully blind.

 

[I’MBUSY!]

So drama, Jack.

 

[Cookiecookie]

Yikes - can’t find it! It was funny though, people all asking why ours don’t rhyme. Then people saying they’re funnier and random (true)

I hate the forced rhyming titles. Ours are way better

 

[traumatised sideboard]

For some reason recently I was thinking about what I'd do if I saw Jack in the flesh. I decided I would sidle up to her and ask if she was Jack Monroe, mainly to make sure because god knows what she looks like irl. Presumably I'll have to use the tattoos as ID. I would tell her I was a huge fan of her work, then when she started to thankme, I would say 'thank you is two words and Slopbot sends his regards' and slither away.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Why you cry?
Jack try to say Milngavie.

Why you in pain?
Jack on train to Culzean.

Why you slow burn?
Jack at Cockburn.

Why you back tracking?
Jack heading up Ecclesmachan.

Why you ring us?
Jack mispronounce Menzies.

Why you cut Leccy?
Jack sun bathing at Findochty

Why you say Guid luck tae (yis a')!
When Jack cook in Auchtermuchty?

Why you avoid cookie
Jack baked in Freuchie?

Why you leave out poo tray
When Jack visit Kirkcudbright?

Please set us free
When Jack visit Garioch

 

[jenny2603]

I have compiled a list of suggested questions for any lurker frauen who may encounter Jack in the wild.

After your landmark libel trial win against Katie Hopkins, you said that you both were a hideously decaying pair of copulating butterflies joined together on a rotten corkboard in a moment in time. My question is, who told you that you could write?

You've been a gumshoe within the Labour Party for some time now, can you describe what kind of work that entails?

Do you have any comment on the allegations made against you by Iqbal from Sainsburys? Are you a bag shitter?

You described a lengthy article you wrote as a dervish of cold rage, what does this mean?

How is the latest landmark libel trial coming along?

What happened to the rest of the Teemill money and how much was raised in total?