Jack Monroe #193 Mama, pass the UNICEF statistics and the Hansards!

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Legionnairess

That last sentence made me fall off the couch laughing.
 
Reactions: 33

Powershower

What the fuck has she done with that bag that has rendered it structurally unsound? It’s a leather bag, they can last forever if you look after them
 
Reactions: 40

Captainmouse

Mr Krabs said:
Well ya know she only bought the Mulberry bag because it’s an investment. Obviously if she’s poor again, say, poor enough to not be able to buy butter, she can simply sell the world’s mankiest bag second hand. Form an orderly queue.
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I am sure those that snapped up her lightbulbs will be rushing
 
Reactions: 22

kachoochoo

jack: I buy myself One Nice Thing every book advance in case I'm ever poor again and can resell it

also jack: I have heavily soiled and broken a designer bag and I poke holes in pleather lapels
 
Reactions: 54

Captainmouse

Reactions: 46

indigomoon

Her buying a Mulberry handbag is yet another example of R Jackie showing everyone what she thinks rich people do. It's the same with her stupid names for slop. Anyone ever heard that sketch by Billy Connolly about potatoes of the night? That's her right there.

If she actually was poor, that Mulberry handbag would be coveted and adored and never let loose near her manky skanky hands. She has no humility at all. Plus, isn't she meant to be all edgy and alternative, especially being a stand in for dearest Ruby Rose (swoon). She'd have been more hip to go to her nearest Army Surplus store and buy a haversack then write all over it with tippex and sharpies, or just use some of that shite from under her nails.
 
Reactions: 43

ChickenPorridge

Anyone else waiting patiently for a bio update. This has to be the longest she's had nothing in it.
 
Reactions: 36

Dogmuck

I have a distant memory there was a long winded story that includes something like she broke a 48 litre bottle of whiskey or Chanel in the bag and it either smelt something like “wondrously exotic” or “mendaciously intoxicated” (I made those up but it was some sort of word vomit like that), and her 18 month/3/5/11/17 year old son drew unicorns, rainbows and I you mamapapa on it. Utter bollocks but she couldn’t just say, I’m shit with stuff because I don’t care for anything, whilst maintaining her pov story.
 
Reactions: 53

Billybellend

It’s very much a matter of taste, really. Some people rinse ‘em, some don’t. I’ve always found that non rinsed beans give a slightly bitter flavour.

Levi Roots is a legend, we’re huge Reggae Reggae sauce fans chez Bellend Towers!

Also (bit behind on this one) who on Earth subs juniper berries for rosemary?! I’m out of chillies. Hang on, a cucumber will do
 
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Reactions: 42

HotesTilaire

L3moning said:
This does remind me that my mum once got quite annoyed with me and my dad describing anything even vaguely similar (from soup to any type of stew) as "cassoulet", because it sounds pretentious.
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Makes a change from it being described as a bloody ribollitta
 
Reactions: 27

HotesTilaire

Oh thanks Bill, I was just making some spicy food and realised I’d run out but I’ll add some chopped cucumber in to simmer instead!
 
Reactions: 28

traumatised sideboard

Normally frauen request that Jack get out of their specific niche. Not I! I welcome Guitar Jack with open arms. It is actually possible to play a guitar with one hand but that would require dexterity, skill and talent and Jack has not once demonstrated any of these traits.

I don't know if this is catty or just facts but her new hair reminds me of a schnauzer. Her watch looks like an expensive cable tie with the strap like that. The skirt looks like a jaunty table runner. This is not what Viv would have wanted.

 
Reactions: 45

schmetterling

Dogmuck said:
Not the “first book advance” bag again- gets some airing that lie story
But bless she’s tagged them.
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Ffs woman! (Enraged fashion frau in me is taking over the keyboard again, she says hello) if you're dropping big £££ on a designer handbag, the leather will be a beautiful grain and quality and mostly likely be tooled by hand. Mulberry's a brand which sells itself on a British tradition of intersecting craftsmanship and well cut, basically indestructible leather goods. Also there's a huge trend in getting luxury items such as trainers and handbags restored at the moment. Or you could buy a new strap. Did she use it to transport loose slop?

PS: Oliver Bonas? Bit fucking gauche, darling! (PPS: I do not wish to upset any sweet Cabal members who enjoy their products. Just not my personal slow cooker of tea dear hearts.)
 
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Reactions: 38
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