Jack Monroe #122 You don’t batch tweet when you’ve got a 106 fever

[MancBee]

All this talk of trifle, I had a terrible fail with a lime and ginger cake. I hate waste so it ended up in trifles for all the four neighbours on my landing. I think it is far better than Jack's dad's, but who really cares. I took a picture to send to them to ask if they wanted one.

They all declared it the best trifle they had ever eaten. (Not really, but they were appreciative)

And that is cream on the top, who with any tastebuds would use Dream Topping?

 

[Scarletfever]

Ok I am calling it.

Last time she had a chippy tea, SB's dad brought it.

Ergo, SB's just been dropped off with a chippy tea.

 

[Bumbear]

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Why would you try to go out for a bike ride if you are struggling to climb a set of stairs...is she totally lacking in any form of sense?

 

[Yel]

I'm sorry it's probably already been said but..

She thinks she's being clever by rewriting history to get away with the del Monte tags without saying ad. But even if she was exclusively weaned on del Monte tins she can't post that story without now saying #Ad to stay within the rules.

Social media influencers call these "silly rules" but you don't have to be smart to realise why it's in the public interest for people to be upfront about companies they have a business arrangement with.

 

[MancBee]

IT'S CHRISTMAS! (shouted Noddy Holder style)

Wishing all you wonderful Frauen und Männer a happy Christmas. It has been a difficult year for everyone, and you have made it much more bearable. Extra special virtual hugs to those of you that have been forced to spend this festive time alone.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

I know we’ve moved on but I had to get off my chest (*again*) how much she annoys me with the alcoholism chat. I’m grateful that I’ve been sober for a wee while now but I’m still an alcoholic, just one who is in recovery/non-practicing. I don’t think she realises how her words can be perceived - to me by saying she’s an “ex-alcoholic” gives off the impression she is cured, and she certainly isn’t if she relapsed a few months ago.

I know this is quite a contentious subject but I feel I can speak about it because she has volunteered before she’s in AA, therefore I think it allows others to counter that.

It’s a tough time of year for many, many people and a lot of alcoholics struggle - not always wanting to drink but emotionally. I just wish she would use her platform to support, encourage and keep people on the right road. Sadly, if it doesn’t benefit her then she’s not interested.

 

[KindaWeird]

I've just seen her tweet about her Express column. Some of the responses from squiggles are baffling to me.

I don't see how having Jack write in The Express is a positive thing. Some of the squiggles seem to be under the impression that having her as a columnist at The Express is akin to having a left wing spy infiltrating right wing media; tearing down the establishment from the inside by uh, outing yourself as a massive Royalist. Hmmm, okay.

Also her piece is hardly going to do much to make Express readers more tolerant. Her piece isn't super inspiring or thoughtful. She's just written a softer type of Express article, that's all. It's not life changing journalism, it's all pointless waffle except that it lines her pockets so no more tip jar at least..?

I assume that she was paid for writing this column which means she's being paid by a paper that makes it money from hate.

Did her sycophantic Squiggles buy the paper in order to read her column, again funding hate and intolerance?

Well done Jack. You're a sell out and a hack.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

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Her latest follow:

 

[MooBelle]

Hi. Merry Christmas! I'm about 10 threads behind so not sure if anyone has seen this? It's my dad's daily express (I'm his support bubble as singletons ). I can't bear to read it yet, so fill your boots x

I'm not entirely sure what's happening.
She's now got a column in a right wing shit rag and she's written that she's a huge fan of That Man and the queen?
2020 is the gift that keeps on bloody giving.

 

[colouredlines]

Place your bets (festive edition):

a) Jack's sloppy slow cooker meal is not very nice. She laughs it off as a failed experiment, and the bungalow crew enjoy freezer meals instead

b) Jack's sloppy slow cooker meal is AMAZING. She has REINVENTED Christmas!!! It's a revelation! BB gives her a brand new size H engagement ring to celebrate, and SB declares it the most smashing supper he's ever eaten. God bless us, every one!

 

[Ladderedtights]

Evening all. Tonight I made Delia’s French Onion Soup, my first time making it. I did think about substituting the butter for lard and the olive oil for ghee, onions for parsnips or carrots and the stock for bin juice but as it’s Christmas Eve, I thought I’d stick to the recipe.
She’s being gruesome. That poor kid. Can she not just be nice and warm and a comfort with a looming lockdown? Can’t remember where we are with schools being delayed going back but shit is getting real again. You don’t make a trifle and fucking spray it gold if you’re recovering from an illness.
Hope everyone has a good day tomorrow. Be it alone or with family or friends. What a year. You’ve made it. You’ve survived.

Edit:

 

[Veronicaaa]

I am SHOOKETH at her admission of buying Asda Smartprice yorkshire puddings! I mean, we all knew it but .... what sort of expert (and one who has been paid to tell people how to cook them) buys ready made yorkies?? Anyway, it led me down a toad in the rabbithole and THIS is her version of toad in the hole. It's not meant to look like that Jack!

 

[Veronicaaa]

Christmas Eve at Jack's house sounds like a whole lotta fun #passaggXmas

 

[Veronicaaa]

She's sitting in a sunbeam

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

A few bullying ninnies in her @s, clearly don’t realise how difficult it is to maintain a >£100k p/a salary nor the seriousness of a limited time only Cotswolds sale

For Google / future archive searching lol - Jack Monroe The Express Column

 

[FlowerOfTheEast]

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What is the actual point of asking for book recommendations if you've already read everything in the genre?! If I was naughty, I would tweet her a made up book title by a fictional author to see what she said. But seeing as I am nice and I stick to the rules, I will not.

 

[Scarletfever]

Oh god I am cringing for her tweeting that out at half ten on Boxing Night AND deleting her take away tweet.

Fucking caught out on tattle again love. Will you ever learn?

I hate the twee faux modest "look at little old me with my name in big letters in a paper". Just honestly own your nazi shit rag paymasters and stop the faux naivety because you are so scared of being held accountable.

 

[Traazers]

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I'm sure anyone who was "wondering what a Christmas dinner done entirely in the slow cooker looks like" will be absolutely astounded to discover that it just looks like a slightly shit roast (due to nothing having been actually roasted). I also note that she hasn't followed Mom's advice on baton-ing carrots.

And the aunt bessies are back - very frugal of her to cook a dinner in seven slow cookers and yet still use the actual oven to heat those through. Cretin.

 

[Emmapism]

I'm sorry to be indelicate but why would anyone follow a dead person on social media. Fraus........help me with this one.

 

[Satisfying Click]

The sheer nerve of her to go after other trifles and then... THAT