Jack Monroe #12 Eight thousand pages from her printer, this could take us through to winter.

[ReginaPhalangee]

“It’s a borrowed flask, I don’t own it”

 

[HarderFaster]

Changed her bio to newly hatched View attachment 122414

Mortifying attempt at an ugly duckling narrative: we're the ones in the wrong for not recognising Jack's nascent grace and talent.

(At this stage I'm just adding pictures to add to her printer ink bill, tbh)

 

[LennyBriscoe]

There is so much to unpick in that atrocious, self aggrandising twaddle.
Some TV execs were being kind and terribly woke at an TV auction for Stonewall and "bought" her (although am sure Allegra was more of the draw). She did not discover Jackfruit, it's been used in Asian cooking for about 5000 years. They were being polite when they said they couldn't tell the difference. No-one is going to steal your recipe, as they've already got their own version (again, you didn't invent it). Mary Portas and Sue Perkins were there for the food, not to give you a TV job (thank God, always thought they looked like intelligent women).

I couldn’t cook my way out a paper bag but even know that jackfruit is not something she discovered. Reminds me of the time Alexandra Burke said on live TV she had made up the phrase ‘the elephant in the room’

 

[Bellybutton lint]

Just a small comment before I head off to sleep. I really enjoy the people here. Lovely, smart, nice and generally people I would invite to my house for a party of fun. You have kept me slightly quite sane. Please help yourself to the hams at the bottom of the freezer. Good night. x

 

[Jelly Bean]

It is irritating when she prefaces it all with 'only rented'. I rent, have done for years and never have thought it a lesser choice. I live in a beautiful old gate lodge (with garden) that I simply could not afford to buy or maintain. I don't know why she is so hung up on it frankly. It is her home.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Jack's on Newsnight tonight.

(Long time lurker )

Edit: Those Tweets have since been deleted.

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

She seems to be trying to add in another “quirky girl” trope, the one where it’s “look how much I eat! I eat SO much and it’s all butter and carbs and double portions but I NEVER gain weight and I’m so quirky”

 

[Ellabella]

In the witness box I'm not standing anywhere near the person who eats a tin of baked beans 365 days a year...

 

[Harrybosch]

Seems like her assistant isn't working at the moment. Why she continues to sell through her website if she can't fulfill orders promptly and then guilt trips customers about it I will never understand. And how said customer defers to her. It's almost cultish

No, 'thanks so much for buying the book. You should receive it by xyz'.

 

[PennyLoafer]

Ah yes, a garden which fits two tents, an outhouse, a table seating six, a patio set, a barbeque, and a hanging rattan chair, along with plenty of mature shrubbery: the very epitome of deprivation.

People who doubtless contribute to her comfort by buying her books and donating to her may well be in studio flats, overcrowded homes, living with abusers. She's a vile, vile human playing at poverty.

Also 1) Elbow are fucking bland and
2) stop being a cow about your fiancée getting pissed off with your manic episodes.

She's probably going to launch some sky lanterns later, to the accompaniment of 'One Day Like This'. She's that basic.
Sorry, that was bitchy, but this time she's really got to me. If you are the poster woman for austerity cooking and fighting inequality in all its forms - and you are determined at every turn to stress your credentials for doing so, not to mention your own personal hardships - why the living fuck would you tweet about turning your garden into Bestival when you could be quietly doing some good for the disenfranchised people you profess to care about? Not saying you have to be on duty 24-7 but with your platform, you could send so many powerful statements about how to cope during lockdown and how to care for each other through food.
My god, the people on my street are doing better than this. Shopping and cooking for each other, sending cards and checking in with each other. We're not whining about festival cancellations. This is serious shit - the livelihoods of just about everyone I know are affected - and we have no idea when things will go back to normal.

 

[Hunty]

Omg change the record!

Oh for ffs why is that even necessary? Why does she need to add in the 32x my income bit? We get it, IT'S RENTED, YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO BUY IT,

NEWS FLASH, NOBODY FUCKING CARES THAT YOU DON'T OWN YOUR OWN HOME AND HAVE TO RENT A 'SHITTY' BUNGALOW

 

[PennyLoafer]

I don't think that many of them have eaten any actual food. Most comments seem to consist of 'I can't wait for the recipe' or 'I never knew that you could roast garlic'.

I worry about them, in all honesty.

Mooncalf: Jack, I want to make a cup of tea but I don't have any tea. I do have coffee though. Could I add water to that to make a hot beverage?
Jack: Yes, absolutely x
Mooncalf: Amazing, Jack. Thank you so much!

 

[SnakeOilSeller]

I actually discovered this site due to one of Jack’s recent rants on Twitter, it’s good to know it’s not just me who finds her irritating!

Some of the people I follow are following her so she appears on my timeline quite frequently, and 9 times out of 10 she’s ranting about something. It must be exhausting to be that wound up all the time, I feel weary just reading her Tweets sometimes!

 

[PennyLoafer]

I keep chuckling at "it's a cheap pop-up tent in a rented garden".

1) What does price have to do with it? What other sort of tent do you need for camping in the garden? Is she going to go off on one about not being able to afford a top of the range expedition tent? Or does she think she deserves to be gifted a Burberry marquee?

2) If you have *any* kind of outside space these days, you are very lucky. Stop with the ownership fixation, you giant whingebag.

 

[PineappleQueen19]

Only Jack Monroe could publish a recipe book in which she refuses to share a recipe. Jack, just be honest, you can no more make vegan crackling than I can poo gold ingots.

Even worse is that when drumming up pre-sales she was bragging about that held-back recipe as a reason to buy the book.

 

[HarderFaster]

Tell us again about that shitty bungalow, Jack.

Ah yes, a garden which fits two tents, an outhouse, a table seating six, a patio set, a barbeque, and a hanging rattan chair, along with plenty of mature shrubbery: the very epitome of deprivation.

People who doubtless contribute to her comfort by buying her books and donating to her may well be in studio flats, overcrowded homes, living with abusers. She's a vile, vile human playing at poverty.

Also 1) Elbow are fucking bland and
2) stop being a cow about your fiancée getting pissed off with your manic episodes.

 

[Wiggy]

Please don't come and bring discord to the only online thread where vegans, veggies and everyone else chat together in harmony, new member.
I've screenshotted your post and am calling my solicitor.

Do your worst, I have a plan that will make me enough money to fight said solicitors. Tell them to send the letter addressed to my coal shed, where I will be busy filming a new mini series on living out of next doors bin.

The first four episodes are already in post production: current working titles are

Beat the Bin-men to the best bits
Cooking on a literal bin lid.
Overusing the word literal.
"Speaking as a mother" : When to use it to add more credence to an anvalid argument.

 

[GrunkaLunka]

Anything interesting in it?

Yes, the second paragraph!

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

I love how she’s listing the things they’ve done as though she’s the wise old elf teaching him extensive and invaluable life lessons. You’re camping in the garden love just say you’re camping in the garden. My eldest did the scouts camp at home challenge this year but I didn’t act like I was yoda I just helped him make his camp and cook the dinner

 

[Flumps]

I am spending too much time thinking about this, I think because it's triggering me in respect to things that have happened in my past. What I don't get, about people I've known who endlessly exaggerate and embellish things that have happen/have happened to them is *why*? I don't think I've met anyone over the age of 30, who has lived any kind of a life, who doesn't have interesting things to say/stories to tell. Now, admittedly, I have lived a hell of a life, and actually I'm v cautious about sharing it all in one go, as it were, because if I were to tell it a certain way, it absolutely does sound like something exaggerated and borderline unbelievable, but everyone I've ever met has stories, and challenges and things I've never faced, or triumphs I could only imagine. Human condition innit? It's still almost unbelievable to me that anyone feels the need to embellish their own history to such an extent, if nothing else, it must be really destabilising to your sense of self.

Plus, it damages people around you too. I went through a phase of not believing anything anyone said to me, because of my experience with people like that, and that was oddly destabilising for me too. My poor partner, when we met, I didn't believe a word he said, because he's lived a v interesting life and done some mad, crazy sports things that I felt were exaggerated or outright lies, until I saw the photos/articles/medals. And that wasn't his fault, he just related them as part of his life, not as any great or wonderful tale, just chatting, but I was in a place where I just couldn't take people's word for anything. Good job the man had patience really.

Hmm, sorry, that was a ramble, I think maybe I do need to actively stop thinking about it, it's obviously poking at something I find disturbing.