Jack Grealish #89 Jack is back in England camp, all the new content is making us damp.

[wonderstruck25]

Tattlers waiting outside all the newsagents in the am of release day

 

[StephenTJackson]

And I get judged for my feelings for Harry Maguire, yet there's people out here calling Gareth Southgate 'Daddy'.

 

[ruby1080]

FUCK OFF

 

[ruby1080]

Can’t believe I’m about to spend £13.83 on a men’s fashion magazine for some photos I’ve not even seen yet of some inappropriately aged bloke from Birmingham.

What cost of living crisis?

 

[WylieWyles]

Just two English broskis who love Aston Villa and getting pegged

 

[cornflower]

Avoiding more work.

England fit list to correct the one done by that knobhead yesterday. Rankings are based on overall shaggability and are subject to change over the next few weeks, apart from no.1.

no.5-8 are interchangeable, so are no.9-15.

no.16 and below are unshaggable, sorry brothers.

1. Bae




2. Conor Coady
3. Jordan Henderson
4. Jude Bellingham (in a few years)

5. John Stones
6. Luke Shaw
7. Eric Dier
8. Callum Wilson

9. Aaron Ramsdale
10. Kalvin Phillips
11. Ben White
12. Kieran Trippier
13. Marcus Rashford
14. Bukayo Saka (in a few years or just not at all)
15. Nick Pope

16. Jordan Pickford
17. Declan Rice
18. Harry Kane
19. Phil Foden
20. Raheem Sterling
21. Kyle Walker
22. Mason Mount
23. James Maddison
24. Trent Alexander-Arnold
25. Conor Gallagher
26. Harry Maguire

ooh i like this. ok. will have to do an updated official world cup '22 squad nip ranking at some point too.

god tier
1. bae - face. every single thing about his body. every single thing about his nipples. charm. down-to-earthness. dress sense. playfulness. sex appeal. sense of humour.

sex icon tier
2. John Stones - hair. body. dress sense. the fact that he really doesn't give off footballer vibes. accent. mild awkwardness. nice soft nips.
3. DCL and Chilly

fitty tier
3. Raheem Sterling - voice. face so beautiful it makes up for the fact that i dislike most of his other characteristics lol.
4. Jordan Henderson - so fuckin sexy. spanky. major captain energy.
5. Marcus Rashford - cool. nice. fit as fuck.
6. Eric Dier - so sexy. classy.
7. Jude Bellingham - (in a few years) will be gorgeous. enigmatic.
8. Trent Alexander-Arnold - sexy little chav.
9. Phil Foden - sexy little chav.
10. Luke Shaw - fuckin beautiful with hair. very spankable arse. scored that goal in the final.

guilty pleasure tier
11. James Maddison - the fuckboy vibes are summoning me and i think he will climb higher in the ranks for me as the tournament progresses. did a kind of cute tiktok thing with presumably his baby.
12. Conor Coady - voice. cheerful.
13. Callum Wilson - no idea who this was, is fit tho.
14. Kyle Walker - fit body/arse. would promote him to fitty tier but feel like he's the sort of person who'd want a chip butty and cheap cup of tea in bed.
15. Mason Mount - very pretty but too 'clean' and sweet.
16. Conor Gallagher - hair.
17. Aaron Ramsdale - kind of cute like looks a bit cheeky?

cute but meh tier
18. Kalvin Phillips - too cutesy but i do love him
19. Harry Kane - amazing body and nips. captain. but horrible face.
20. Bukayo Saka - i don't know if i can ever not see him as a bab
21. Harry Maguire - amazing body. facilitated us seeing jack grealish's pixellated peen in underwear. awful face.

icky tier
22. Ben White - looks like an awful kisser.
23. Kieran Trippier - small. rubbish nips.

major ick tier
24. Declan Rice - he's just too MUCH.
25. Jordan Pickford - so unattractive lol he just looks like he always stinks and would stand too close too you breathing beer/cavity breath on your face on a night out and would try and conceal his burps but you'd see his chest like jolt with an undercover burp and then you'd smell like bacon butty and cheese and onion crisps and beer and cavities a few seconds later.
26. Nick Pope - the most boring man i have ever seen.

 

[wonderstruck25]

Why do we all hate Connor Gallagher. Asking for a friend

The origin of him coming on my radar was in a video where he licked his hand and pushed his hair and it made me feel sick.

Then he entered my dreams a few nights later tipping my plate of pasta on the floor and once again licking his hand and pushing his hair back. I’m a patient woman but that was the last straw and his face has angered me more and more ever since.

I know nothing about him and I don't want to, he is the villain in my story.

 

[Violetroselily]

Flowers for Bea

 

[Violetroselily]

This one is very @lozzajb

 

[ruby1080]

Saka reveals England unicorn tribute as Grealish talks 'scary' camel ride in Qatar

Jack Grealish and Bukayo Saka have revealed unicorn rides have been replaced with camels, as the England stars are being made to feel as relaxed as possible in Qatar. The Three Lions arrived in Doh…

talksport.com

He’s just adorable I can’t cope 🥹
We need access to those questionnaires

This is just so cute, but could also come out of the mouth of a 5 year old 🥹

 

[Gossgossgoss9888]

Can't believe I was working when you were all doing tier lists! Please accept mine, very late...

I would marry
John Stones

I would shag, often and enthusiastically, with very little preamble or charm required, but I have specific hair and/or beard requirements
Jack Grealish
Luke Shaw

I would shag in a moment of madness and then refuse to acknowledge the incident occurred
Kyle Walker
James Maddison

I would go on a date because of my admiration for a nice personality and smile, and be open to allowing myself to be laughed into bed
Conor Coady
Kalvin Philips
Aaron Ramsdale

I would go on a date because of varying levels of handsomeness and vaguely nice vibes, hoping for a connection but not entirely sure it'd happen
Callum Wilson
Jordan Henderson
Marcus Rashford
Jude Bellingham (when older)

I would engage in light, dull chatter in the hope that maybe someone says something interesting and maybe we can be friends
Harry Maguire
Harry Kane
Kieran Trippier
Eric Dier

I would end up playing the role of reluctant foster mother
Bukayo Saka
Phil Foden

I would have a conversation that rapidly escalated to an argument
Jordan Pickford
Raheem Sterling
Declan Rice
Trent Alexander-Arnold

I would cross the street to avoid
Mason Mount
Conor Gallagher
Ben White

I would not notice if we walked smack bang into each other in the street
Nick Pope

 

[guccijumper]

sup bastards

1. trent- nobody comes above my baby he is my one true love and it is unconditional i will never stop loving you my sweet baby boy
2. JG because he is jg and i am convinced he would laugh at my jokes
3. mason mount bloody fucking fit but would have to delete all his tiktoks before i shagged him
4. jude (i am not a n0nce he was in the same year as me in school)
5. stonesy u fit little bastard tie my arms and legs together and lock me in your fancy suitcase pls
6. hendo sexy fit bastard would organise my life for me and put it on our fridge
7. coady cos i fuckin love scousers
8. phillip u sexy little frog
9. rammers is decent icl want him to throw himself about between two sticks for me
10. eric dier could throw me about ngl, my mum fancies him tho
11. pickers cos he’d go in goal in our garden
12. callum wilson because i like the top he wore yesterday in the arrivals vid
13. kyle walker but just for a bit of banter i wouldn’t touch him with a pole
14. bukayo would shake my parents hands and bake cakes for my mother
15. marcus rashford can feed me
16. rice would be bottom of the list but the others are all so ugly i’d have to do a bag before i spoke to him every single time so i wouldn’t remmeber it
17. luke shaw decent ig wouldn’t say no if i was drunk enough to not look at his face
18. ben white uses sun beds
19. trippier is smaller than me cba
20. harry kane because he knows boyfriend #1 and can set me up
21. conor gallagher there is no one i hate more u absolute cunt but everyone below you has siblings for parents
22. kalvin phillips could braid my hair
23. sterling has a bigger arse than me
24. james maddison get a fuckin wash mate
25. id have a friendly pub conversation with nick pope tbh
26. harry maguire literally eats rocks for tea

 

[ruby1080]

I need time off work to deal with all this.

 

[sugarfairy23]

I’m happy for you all but when it comes to photoshoots, why do you lot get this:

And we get this:

I still love you John, just please take your top off properly for us

 

[wonderstruck25]

Okay we do all agree this is a no judgement zone

1. Bae; obviously
2. JS5; obviously
3. Rice; I don’t know I just love him okay. Leave me alone.
4. Shaw; I’m into it
5. Phillips; v cute
6. Coady; Daddy
7. Hendo; Daddy
8. Ramsdale; doing well for me on fpl
9. Rashford; good looking bloke
10. Tripper; we love a short king
11. Walker; personality seems pretty good tbf
12. Maddison; looks like Meerkat
13. Saka; young
14. Wilson; You’re new to me so I am sliding you here as I’m only basing you on looks
15. Dier; it’s the skinhead… do a Shaw and grow it out and we can talk… maybe? Don’t headbut me.
16. Pickford; shouty.
17. White; vibe is off, I can’t even elaborate on why?
18. Kane; sorry vrl
19. Mount; Should be lower for ruining Pepsi max for me.
20. Flipz; not into that at all
21. Pope; seems very dull
22. Sterling; I just don’t like him I can’t explain it
23. Bellingham; far too young
24. Maguire; think that shows how vile I find TAA and Gallagher
25. TAA; minging.
26. Literally anyone in the world…
27. My nemesis Conor Gallagher

 

[wonderstruck25]

This has killed me off, someone needs to humble this broski.

 

[leapfrog]

Is this jack ? My eyes are not as good as they used to be lol

 

[Violetroselily]

Back that ass up and down and get low

Bend over to the front, touch your toes

 

[ruby1080]

I just want him to be the best player of the tournament, score the winning goal, be knighted by his new brother William and marry me in time for me to sign my Christmas cards as Lady Ruby. Plus regrow the

It’s not much to ask.

 

[Starttheline]

Garage has got the look of a man who knows he's got to get all his sleepy kids off the bus before they miss their stop.