I'm being bullied at work

[Lico]

Please keep us informed, good luck we are here for you x

Thanks, it means a lot to have somewhere to get support.

 

[Lynseyp]

So, I handed in my notice. I'm finished at the end of the month. I'm pissed off, as the money was good and the job was local. I'll probably end up less well off financially. But I've made my decision and I have to stick by it.
I'll be flat out on tattle soon!

I can understand you being pissed off but you will soon be in a job where the work life is better, your mental health is better. It will be a huge relief when you walk out the door for the last time and moving on, you couldn't stay where you were. Remember as one door closes, another door opens. Good luck with the next chapter in your life, you will soon find a job x

 

[tawdryhepburn]

i’m sorry i don’t have any advice to offer, because i have been in an extremely similar situation myself a couple of years ago and had no idea how to cope outside of waiting for my leaving date. just know that you’re not alone and they would do this to anyone because of the cliquey dynamic. don’t blame yourself, you’re not the problem! i’m sending you lots of virtual love and best wishes xx

 

[justheretoread99]

So, i Just want to give an update. I finished my job 4 months ago. I had an exit interview, and told HR about the bullying, and I had gone to my manager and he didn't want to know. Big mistake. I have been applying for jobs, and am not having any luck. I was supposed to have a second interview this week and it was cancelled. I was contacted about several jobs, and didn't get called for an interview. I have a feeling that my ex boss or colleagues are bad mouthing me. I am devastated. I am considering contacting a solicitor about it. I am broke and bored, and feel like I will never get another job because of the bullies.

Do you live in a very small area (the type of town where everyone knows everyone?)

If you do, and you do believe your ex-boss/colleagues are bad mouthing you apply for Jobs in a different area but still commutable.

I very much doubt every single place you’ve applied for will have heard “bad things” about you. Please try not to worry. As this will bring your confidence down even more, which will result in a negative mindset and hence negative outlooks on Jobs/interviews.

Try and turn this negativity into positivity and productivity. Be positive you are out of a toxic environment. You can start afresh in a new role and career.

Job searching is awful. But it requires hours and hours of research and effort. I promise something will come up for you. Keep persevering.

 

[Dot_Cotton]

Sorry to hear this. You just don’t expect it as an adult at work but there will be bullies everywhere at every age. Sounds like these girls bonded over a mutual dislike for you. Maybe because of jealousy but the why isn’t that important it’s what you can do now for your own sanity.
Firstly you are going to work and should be happy and safe when you go there. You shouldn’t feel like you can’t face going or hate every minute of it because of these twats. You need to do what is best for you because this is going to have a massive impact on your mental health.
The company should definitely have a zero tolerance attitude to bullying. They should also have a interest in mental health these days.
If it were me, I would contact my union rep first and just run it past them. If you don’t have one, go to your manager if you trust them or HR if you don’t. Like others have said make a note of times things happen and how you feel at the time because it’s easy to think of past things then play them down.
I absolutely hate stuff like this and the little rats need taking down a peg or two. If it’s subtle bullying and you kick off and tell them to get to fuck they will turn it round on you and make out your overreacting so the official route is probably best. Keep us updated and if you feel that bad, go off sick and get your head straight while you think things through. Might be a good way to bring it to your managers attention

 

[Lico]

How big is the company you work for, can you go above your manager, to HR for example?

I absolutely could go above him, but I don't want to. I'm not in the right frame of mind, plus I don't want to get a bad name. The industry is quite close knit and word would get round.

 

[Lico]

No union unfortunately.
Yes, hopefully I'll get another job. I'm beginning to shame them. I'd been holding the bullying to myself for months, but now I'm telling people.

 

[Lico]

I attended the occupational nurse today for a walk in check up. My blood pressure is high. I have to go back tomorrow and Monday at different times to get checked again. If they are high too, I have to go to my doctor. I attribute this to the bullying, as I used to have OK readings. I had a medical a year and half ago when I took the job and BP was OK then.
I can't believe my physical health is affected.

 

[Keikochan]

I totally agree with what @Dot_Cotton says about if you tell them to fuck off they'll turn it around on you, so def try keep your cool & possibly go the HR route with notes.

However unfortunately HR doesn't always care about employees & are more so HeRe for the company.

If you do leave, make it know to HR & Manager when asked why & in exit interview that you are leaving bc of the bullying.

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

As the title says, I think I'm being bullied by my work colleagues. We started around the same time in a new company. All was great for a while, then they turned on me. I was going through a bad time, and was in bad form and they reported me. Then it escalated. They are being really subtle, nobody else would notice, only me. They undermine me when they can, they exclude me from discussions. They were talking about the weather and I commented about a website that I follow, and they keep mentioning it as a dig at me. One of them was being OK with me, then she turned against me again. I tried calling her on teams, and she didn't answer so I messaged her and she replied straight away, so she just didn't want to talk to me.
I feel broken, I don't want to go back to work next week. It is really affecting me. I've tried to ignore their snideness and be nice to them, but I can't do it anymore. I spent most of the weekend crying.
I am looking for another job, but I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.

Aw OP I am really sorry to hear this is going on. Nothing worse than a bully, it speaks volumes about them more than anything.

Years ago when I was late teens/early twenties I worked in a call centre which had lots of little cliques. I was very much someone who liked to just keep myself to myself, do my job and go home. It would have been nice to have good friendships in there but it just wasn't meant to be. Like yourself and mentioning the weather, I remember one really quiet day I was just reading the Daily Mail site as it was one of the only sites that weren't blocked from accessing.. they were just sniggering and making jokes about how sad was I to be sat reading the news. It made me feel like shit.

Can you speak with HR or perhaps even someone more senior who you like or get on with? keep a record of what is going on. Don't let them get away with making you feel shit and potentially making you walk away from your job. Work place bullying is so common. I have worked in some horrible places in the past but it won't always be this way, stay strong and keep us updated on how you get on xo

 

[JoJo76]

I really feel for you and all the others that have experienced this. I went through similar 10 years ago, unfortunately there was no HR or anything like that as it was a small company with only 8 employees, and it was the owners brother that was bullying me.

I can't offer any other advice to add to what has already been said, other than a lot of companies do exit interviews when you leave. If you get one, make sure they know exactly what has happened.

 

[Reverend]

I was bullied by a couple of people at work. I'm quite a sensitive sod, and i kept taking it to heart. Until one day.

One day, one of these women call me, and demand i sort something that her department has made an utter fuck up of. I say no. She starts trying to bully me. At this time, my uncle is very ill, I was trying to help a colleague whom had dementia, and I had the start up of a migraine. So, I was not in a good mood, and I shouted back at her, that I did not have time to do her job as well as mine.

There was a pause.

I think she went into shock. She never bothered me again. A few months later she got made redundant, because she was arrogrant/stupid enough to tell the new director that she wasn't learning how to used spreadsheets or mail merge because she had been managing perfectly well for 30 years without.

The other one had to come and virtually plead to me to sort her activities for her as she couldn't do it, despite having told everyone I was crap at my job. Her site was being closed, and she knew she was going to be made redundant, and she had no life outside her job, and agreed to take on a lower paid job in order to stay. Pathetic really.

 

[Rodneytrotter]

So, in our morning zoom meeting, I log in. Colleagues all in, boss not logged in yet. Last colleague logs in, say 'good morning men'. I'm the only female. . Put me in bad form all day. Why are people such cunts.

Wouldn't it be great if someone could call him out on that or acknowledge you.

 

[Easilyannoyed]

As the title says, I think I'm being bullied by my work colleagues. We started around the same time in a new company. All was great for a while, then they turned on me. I was going through a bad time, and was in bad form and they reported me. Then it escalated. They are being really subtle, nobody else would notice, only me. They undermine me when they can, they exclude me from discussions. They were talking about the weather and I commented about a website that I follow, and they keep mentioning it as a dig at me. One of them was being OK with me, then she turned against me again. I tried calling her on teams, and she didn't answer so I messaged her and she replied straight away, so she just didn't want to talk to me.
I feel broken, I don't want to go back to work next week. It is really affecting me. I've tried to ignore their snideness and be nice to them, but I can't do it anymore. I spent most of the weekend crying.
I am looking for another job, but I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.

Ok so this has kind of happened to me at work in the past and I think there are three options I would go down. 1. Tell your manager your concerns if she/ he doesn’t take you seriously then you should go to HR. 2. This is what I did told people to wind their neck in and basically work hard and try not to give a shit about them eventually people get bored or angered that you aren’t bothered alternatively you should ask them why they have an issue with you and it’s upsetting you maybe they will think about it more. Usually I just mutter fuck off very quietly so they can hear me but only just but no one else can it’s childish but makes me feel better or I confront them 3. Leave - this is the last resort and you should not have to get to this point. In my experience a lot of people are out for themselves at work think about you and forget them. X edited: keep a diary of dates and times I was told to do this with a senior manager once however I ended up telling another manager that I felt so stressed and upset because of him and they removed him from my office and put him in a separate office so he wasn’t on my shoulder barking at me continuously x

 

[Gloria Rostron]

I absolutely could go above him, but I don't want to. I'm not in the right frame of mind, plus I don't want to get a bad name. The industry is quite close knit and word would get round.

Are you in a union? You might be able to get a union rep if you decide to go above him. If you absolutely can't go above him, then perhaps it might be best to get another job but don't forget to shame the company on Indeed reviews.

 

[Lico]

Not the fashion industry.
Exactly, I hope that I can spot the signs and not have this happen again, thanks!

 

[Reverend]

So, i Just want to give an update. I finished my job 4 months ago. I had an exit interview, and told HR about the bullying, and I had gone to my manager and he didn't want to know. Big mistake. I have been applying for jobs, and am not having any luck. I was supposed to have a second interview this week and it was cancelled. I was contacted about several jobs, and didn't get called for an interview. I have a feeling that my ex boss or colleagues are bad mouthing me. I am devastated. I am considering contacting a solicitor about it. I am broke and bored, and feel like I will never get another job because of the bullies.

Are they giving you bad references? If so, they will have to prove that, and they could be done legally.

 

[Lico]

I agree. I'm going to remove last employer from my cv.

 

[justheretoread99]

No union unfortunately.
Yes, hopefully I'll get another job. I'm beginning to shame them. I'd been holding the bullying to myself for months, but now I'm telling people.

It’s not the fashion industry by any chance is it?
I worked in a fashion HQ in London and was bullied relentlessly by senior staff. The industry is very small, and corrupt. I’m glad I got out and glad you’re getting out of wherever it is you may be.

When one door closes another one definitely opens! This will make you a stronger person in the long run and now you’ll know the warning signs of a toxic workplace. Good luck for your next venture!

 

[Dot_Cotton]

@Lico how long have you been with the company? Could you not have a case for constructive dismissal if the company don’t take any action and therefore force you out?