I think it would depend on how long I had been with my partner, if we were married, had kids. If it had been a one off thing, recent or been going on for months. Had he sent pics? When was he doing it? If it was when I was next to him on the sofa or he was at home and I was in the bath I would find that harder than if he was doing it whilst bored at work.
I do think you need to sit down and talk openly about why he felt it was okay to do it. How it came up that he was able to do it with an ex co worker, ie how the hell did that happen? Who are the other women, where did he get their numbers? And if he had "no internt to act" what did he think would be the final outcome? Has he made suggestive "I would love to rip your clothes off you" type things?
Got to admit that I would find it all very hard to forgive I know others would say it would depend.
From experience you never know the full story though. You'll get the version they think they can get away with, ie the least amount of truth.
He sent a few pictures. I’ve read most of the messages (at least the ones he hasn’t deleted) and they aren’t even suggestive - they’re quite explicit. He’s never spoken to me that way. From what I can tell it’s been a few months that he’s been doing it. I think the earliest message I found was Mid August.
He says he was frustrated. I have a limited sex drive, what little drive I had was killed years ago through
crappy mental health and the meds I’m on. I thought his needs were still being met though, but obviously not...
There’s definitely emotion involved though because he opened up to some of these women more than he has to me. He spoke about the abortion I had months ago and our sons death with them, which makes me a little uncomfortable.
It’s just so hard because the major part of me wants to kick him out because I know I can never fully forgive him and I’ll always be paranoid, even if he really does never do it again.
But the small part of me wants to hold onto our marriage because we’ve been through so much together and he’s the only person who really understands how it feels. I don’t have anyone else. If I let him go, I’ll be alone.