IAmSarahJay #12 About as socialist as Nick Griffin

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Thread title from a squig, nominated by @Squeaky Beans, congratulations, you win a jar of those weird frankfurter sausages, delivered to you in an Uber for £12.

It's taken her about a fortnight to fill out some forms (unspecified), she's still got the worst sleep pattern of any grown adult I've ever met, and, having got bored of inserting herself into the tragedy of two missing women in Kent, she's now ramming herself like a walrus on a mobility scooter into the missing Jay Slater story. As per usual, she's gloating over a family tragedy, almost begging for there to be a body and for nasty people to be behind the disappearance.

She's constantly switching between calling her children little shits and saying they're so loving.

She tried to set up a dodgy GoFundMe for the big sleep out the school is doing for the local charity, rather than just asking for donations to the school's fundraiser or creating a proper charity GoFundme, but that seems to have been stopped by GoFundMe.

She's "so fatigued" at normal bedtime but then stays up for hours tweeting into the void, rather than following some proper sleep hygiene and going to bed.

She posted a voucher for Milk & More that seems to have just been a data-harvesting exercise because it seems nobody got the discount, it was only supposed to be given to five neighbours not broadcast all over people's socials.

She chatted for days to a troll account set up to take the piss out of her, not realising it was a troll until she caught up here.
 
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Hasn’t she been going to the police for 11 threads now? Am I going to prison or what? The suspense is killing me!
 
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I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m utterly convinced she’s just brushed that trolling account off and isn’t focussing on it whatsoever, what with the hilarious flip flopping between fake ‘haha I can take a joke’ posts and ‘this is outrageous, I’m going to the rozzers’.

I hope she’s focussing the anger on tweeting and not snapping at those poor boys.
 
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Hasn’t she been going to the police for 11 threads now? Am I going to prison or what? The suspense is killing me!
Girl same. Got me grey trackie bottoms ready an I've perfected assembling a rollie with an insouciant shrug. Use it or lose it with these skills.

Can't wait for her to bounce up the bizzie counter stinking of ale with the uber meter running outside in a dizzy space to report mu tattle thread. Influencers clearing a few milly a year can't criminalise people not liking you on the internet but let's give the bratwurst a bash at it.
 
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Girl same. Got me grey trackie bottoms ready an I've perfected assembling a rollie with an insouciant shrug. Use it or lose it with these skills.

Can't wait for her to bounce up the bizzie counter stinking of ale with the uber meter running outside in a dizzy space to report mu tattle thread. Influencers clearing a few milly a year can't criminalise people not liking you on the internet but let's give the bratwurst a bash at it.
I for one am looking forward to unlimited time alone with some books and all of my meals cooked.
 
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girl, same. Peace and quiet and no deadlines? Where do I sign up? If we end up sharing a cell I'll be enforcing proper sleep hygiene, I'll bring the silk sleep masks.
Ok if you two are bunkies then I’m calling dibs on Smoky Soaky aka @Old Soak coz I have a feeling we’ll both be going cold turkey together and will need support 😉
 
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Ok if you two are bunkies then I’m calling dibs on Smoky Soaky aka @Old Soak coz I have a feeling we’ll both be going cold turkey together and will need support 😉
I did have a lot of work emails to catch up on tomorrow, but in light of the latest news I'd be better off perfecting my toilet wine recipe.

@MaineCoonMama if you get extradited to the UK can we bunk up so we can talk cats without annoying the others? 🙏
 
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I did have a lot of work emails to catch up on tomorrow, but in light of the latest news I'd be better off perfecting my toilet wine recipe.

@MaineCoonMama if you get extradited to the UK can we bunk up so we can talk cats without annoying the others? 🙏
Oh my, yes! I'll even bring Susan with me as mu support animal. Here she is being beamed up into the aircraft.
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I for one am looking forward to unlimited time alone with some books and all of my meals cooked.
Funnily enough I was watching the marge goes to prison episode of the simpsons with the kids yesterday, where she shoots the ceiling with the guard’s guns so she gets an extra two months 🤣🤣
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girl, same. Peace and quiet and no deadlines? Where do I sign up? If we end up sharing a cell I'll be enforcing proper sleep hygiene, I'll bring the silk sleep masks.
That’s awesome as mine keep going missing for weeks at a time.
 
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Oh my, yes! I'll even bring Susan with me as mu support animal. Here she is being beamed up into the aircraft.
View attachment 3016940
Susan is majestic af. She'll also serve as excellent protection in jail as she can put any riot down with *that look*

Someone is going to have to take in my foster kittens though. They're too young for life on the inside and can't run for more than a few seconds before falling over under the weight of their own heads.
 
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I just had a horrid thought, the worst!

What if Sarah brings police attention to these threads and outs herself and gets sent down too for benefit fraud or child neglect or something, and one of us has to share a cell with her?

Shotgun not me! I can’t be doing with her mumbling gibberish all night long, I need mu beauty sleep!
 
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