IAmSarahJay #11 Mumchausens-by-Doxxy

[griftalo]

As I mobility scoot through the shadow of death

I take a look at my life and realize there's nothin' left

'Cause I've been griftin' and twattin' so long that

Even mu momma thinks that my mind is gone

But I ain't never crossed a man that didn't deserve it (cos I’m no victim bitches)

Mu budget like normal folk, you know that's unheard of

You better watch how you talkin' and where you walkin'

Or you and your homies might get a sausage pointed at them

I really hate to walk but I gotta taxi

As my ankle crack, I see myself in the snack aisle

Fool, I'm the kinda scuzz the little tattlers wanna be like

On my knees in the night, sayin' prayers for a screwdriver

Been spendin' most their lives

Livin' in a griftin’ paradise

Been spendin' most their lives

Livin' in a griftin’ paradise

Keep spendin' most our lives

Livin' in a griftin’ paradise

Keep spendin' most our lives

Livin' in a griftin’ paradise

Look at the situation they got me facing

I can't budget normal life, I was raised by the street

So I gotta be down with the hood team

Too much television watchin', got me lazy as fuck

I'm a poorlyeducated fool with money on my mind

Got my crowdfunded ten in my hand and a gleam in my eye

I'm a porked up granny, set trippin' banger&mash (only it got left in the hall)

And my shopping is done so don't arouse my anger

(While I beg at the till)

Food, more ain't nothin' but a grift away

I'm not livin' life do or die, what can I say?

I'm nearly 50 now but I look fifty five

The way things is going I don't know

Tell me why am mu so blind to see

That the ones mu hurt are drib and drab

Been spendin' most their lives

Livin' in a griftin’ paradise

Been spendin' most their lives

Livin' in a half assembled flatpack dump

Keep spendin' most our lives

Livin' in a second freezer for chips

Keep spendin' most our lives

Livin' in a false economical farce

Power and the money, money and the grift

Minute after minute, hour after hour

Everybody's runnin', but not me cos mu ankle, owee

It's going on in the kitchen, but I don't know what's cookin' (I’m too lazy)

They say I gotta learn, but nobody's here to teach me

If I can't understand it, how can they reach me?

I guess they can't, I guess they won't

I guess they jealous, that's why I know my life is out of control, fool

My kids spendin' most their lives

Livin' in a griftin’ paradise

My kids spendin' most their lives

Livin' in a scuzzy hellhole

Keep spendin' most our lives

Livin' in sausage finger paradise

Keep spendin' most our lives

Livin' in a second freezer for chips

Tell me why am i so blind to see

That the ones mu hurt are chip and dale.

Tell me why am i so blind to see

That the ones I hurt are slip and slop?

 

[Nonah]

I think I speak for everyone when I say that I need more detail about this!

The best thing is that I was working in academia (as per my previous post about herding cats) so this was a highly intelligent person but it went something like
Professor: I have a query about a paper I have written
Out of Office: *standard OOO reply*
Prof: Ugh I hate these automatic replies please don’t sent any more of them to me.
OOO: *standard OOO reply*
Prof: I am irritated. I asked you not to send these.
OOO: *standard OOO reply*
Prof: This really isn’t acceptable.
OOO: *standard OOO reply*
Prof: I’m getting quite cross now
OOO: *standard OOO reply*
Prof: I am indignant and full of rage against the machine

etc

 

[griftalo]

does he want a code to join?
Dunno what she’s on about uni for? Dla is nothing to do with it.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

I think I’ve said this before but social services and child services are totally fucked in Kent. There are hundreds of Sarahs who are neglectful and lazy and plenty more parents who are a lot lot worse but still have their children.

My neighbour (now dead) was a smackhead who shacked up with a dealer and her toddler was regularly found out on the street on his own, wearing nothing but a nappy, at 10-11pm at night. He was blind in one eye because of an ‘accident’.

It took about a year of constant reporting by loads of people before SS finally intervened.

 

[byefeliciax]

It’s not “fatigue” at nearly 10PM you malingering mushroom, it’s just bedtime.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Can we just have this bit?


Everybody's runnin', but not me cos mu ankle, owee

I do particularly like 'as I mobility scoot through the valley of death' though every line is bloody brilliant

 

[SleevelessSlopSlinger]

Crying

 

[Squeaky Beans]

I love this

'About as socialist as Nick Griffin' for thread title, I beg you.

 

[BeardyBap]

Crying

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Is it too late for “You have loads of friends and close condiments” as thread title?
Please tone it down whoever this is, you’re killing me

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Struggling people are spending a fortune on car repairs because of potholes, either directly, or indirectly via increased insurance premiums.

People who don't own cars, but commute via bike, are having their lives put in danger by potholes every day. There's a pothole round my way which is going to kill me, I swear.

I was on a bus that hit a massive pothole and the bus broke. Struggling people are late to work and late home because of the damage caused by potholes.

Stop going through life with your hand out, Sarah, and think about other people for once.

 

[Hold my beans]

Hands up who's jealous of Sarah’s energy and vibe

 

[Cheddar Chalpupa]

Still not filled in the DLA form, still looking for any reasons her son is SEN. I think she's trying to bore her 200 trolls to death at this point

View attachment 3004993

Based on that my 9 year old has SEN:

He broke his TV that he got for xmas in Feb by hitting it with the xbox controller (TV not replaced and WILL not be until he can save/earn at least 50 quid towards it).
He's broken 3 xbox HDMI adapters (cos he now has to use an old monitor that has no sound, due to aforementioned destroyed TV) by pulling them out without unscrewing them (he pays for his own 4.99 replacements from his pocket money)
He prefers to eat sausages and oven chips 3 x a week, and jackets potatoes and beans the other days. (note 'prefers' not 'is allowed to')
He loses shin pads regularly because he takes them off and chucks one in one direction and t'other in another.

Better get filling in the form, should be done by Halloween.

Or, hear me out here, he's a KID and kids are fussy, clumsy, don't pay attention and get angry when they lose on the xbox. And since my repeated mantra is "actions have consequences" instead of "hang on, i'll order another one" he suffers those consequences. I'm sure i'll be accused to setting him up to get bullied by old mother of the year though.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

Thread title a build on a typo by @BlendedSlop from BA (Hons) English graduate herself, SarahJay.

Congratulations! You win a day trip by bus to Folkestone

Last thread Sarah carried on tweeting and tweeting and tweeting into the void. She centred herself in the tragic death of a young woman as someone she is no longer in touch with knew the poor woman as a child. She speculated grimly on what had happened while her desperate family and friends were still out looking for her and then changed her profile photo to one of the missing woman.

She got called out massively on that, doxxed a bloke who takes the piss out of her on Twitter and then said she was going to report everyone to the police AGAIN. She‘s now tried to distance herself from all the grift calling out by changing her Twitter handle to @sarespagexox

She had a Twitter break which meant that she tweeted one an hour instead of once every 6 minutes. This means she’s still filling in DLA and Family Fund forms as she is too busy tweeting self pity and lukewarm political takes.

Agree tbh

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Just before the thread closes, I had to take a break as she was depressing me. Also my husband did the shopping and I said "Thank you for mu milk" as I was putting it in the fridge.

 

[BeardyBap]

Thought she was an English Lit English graduate? She’s all about the geography now.

 

[nothanksbabes]

It’s not that she can’t work. And it’s not that she doesn’t want to work. It’s just that she needs a Masters degree to work. Again, she got booted off her Masters 5 years ago.
View attachment 3005543
View attachment 3005550
(That tweet from 8th Jan refers to the last beg for PE kit & laptop chargers before her BMAC was shut down).

I fucked up uni (undiagnosed adhd and me mam had cancer) so I ended up in a low paid call centre job (but not before a year in Morrisons on the checkout and 6 months as a Subway sandwich artist ). Worked there a few years, ended up the manager, moved to a couple more better paying management jobs and now I'm a civil servant earning a decent salary with great benefits, all without a degree or a masters. I earn about the same as my friends with degrees.

She's delusional if she thinks anyone will hire her with zero work experience. Your qualifications are irrelevant if you've never had a job.

 

[Fruitjack]

I can hear the phrase "some of my best friends are Black" hiding behind this.
---
No it's not a social experiment, he's hidden likes so people can't call him or others out for liking fascist bollocks or porn.

People are now liking stuff they were wary of liking before, in case they got called out for it.

Scousers are all genuine and catholics. That's it. I'm done.

 

[TallulahTwinkle]

Did we rip the piss out of that photo? Don't even remember seeing it before.

No, she had the piss taken because the bio said “all round sexy person”

 

[Jelly Bean]

 

[griftalo]

Bit too long for a thread title, sadly

Can we just have this bit?


Everybody's runnin', but not me cos mu ankle, owee