‘Thanks to family and friends’.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Whether that was the intention or not, it is certainly the result. It must have been obvious that their father was never going to agree to their removal to the US so there would therefore be protracted litigation and the children would stay in the UK until that was resolved. That can take years. In that period, because she is living in another country, their mother is becoming less involved in their every day life (facetime cannot take the place of having a teenager and their friends interacting in your house and where you have the opportunity to getvro know their parents etc) plus the children are more and more committed to the UK education system as they get older. So it becomes less likely that a judge will agree to their relocation.
We don't have all the fact but, on what we can see, Bethy still chose to relocate to the US. This was partly to look after her father if I remember who has now sadly died. It's a very difficult situation but, on the face of it, that was prioritised over living with her children in the UK. I wonder how the children feel about that.
Didn’t she say he was abusive though?
I‘ve got a friend in a similar situation. She’s gone back to the US to leaving her children here in the midst of a custody dispute.
People are judging her heavily, but her ex ground her down with coercive control and emotional abuse when they were together and for worse when they split. He ground her down so much that she said it was go home or she thought she would harm herself.
so I’m just wondering if something similar may have gone down.
I‘ve got a friend in a similar situation. She’s gone back to the US to leaving her children here in the midst of a custody dispute.
People are judging her heavily, but her ex ground her down with coercive control and emotional abuse when they were together and for worse when they split. He ground her down so much that she said it was go home or she thought she would harm herself.
so I’m just wondering if something similar may have gone down.
Why would you leave your children with an abusive person and leave the country? That’s not rationale or in the children’s best interests. So the concern would be that, if the children were relocated, they would be living with someone (at a time they needed a huge amount of support) who may still (for whatever good or unfortunate reasons) not make good decisions for them. It’s really hard leaving an abusive relationship. But it can be done whilst still living in the same country
I do think we should make clear that we have no idea at all if the husband is or was abusive
Oh I know we don’t know - I was just speculating as she alluded to him being abusive in the past.
my friend has been driven insane by her ex, while they were together and in the 3 years since the split. It’s actually got worse as she’s had a hard time in family courts, it’s often said they can spot manipulatio, but he‘s got away with so many lies. She’s very ill. I won’t judge her.
I cannot fathom a situation in which I would leave my children even for a month, regardless of my own personal feelings or wants.
Childhood is so brief, and is over before you realise.
Childhood is so brief, and is over before you realise.
I don’t think those two things (if either/both are true) are mutually exclusive.
Other than financial reasons, I don’t see why she had to permanently relocate back to the US. I absolutely understand the need to be with a terminally ill parent, but if it means leaving your own kids behind…?
She left (or announced she was leaving) the UK last May. She had the kids in the summer and again at Christmas. So basically the kids have only seen her once this school year. Their new normal is living with dad full time. Seems like the abuse would have to be extremely serious for a judge to uproot them from their new normal and send them thousands of miles away.
I can completely understand moving back to help with a sick parent, however with young kids born and settled in another country, surely you’d move back afterwards?
Her choice of leaving the UK permanently really baffles me… no judge in England will take her side when the dad has a stable job in the UK, which is the place the children call home and she lives in a remote island thousands of miles away. Even if common sense prevailed and she returned to London, she may be viewed as too volatile to have full custody. Such a sad situation for everyone involved…
As part of any custody battle the courts appoint a Caffcass officer (social worker) who will write a report for the court.
As part of this process, the children will each be interviewed (without the parents being present), so the child can talk freely. Even a very young child’s opinion can be taken into account. These interviews take place over a period of time. The social worker also talks to the schools the children attend etc and they assess the homes each parent can provide etc,
whilst nothing is yet finalised (as far as we’re aware), it would appear the children are happy to live with their father and to remain in the UK. (And the Court is not aware of any safeguarding concerns that would prevent the father ( in the interim at least), to remain as their main carer).
As part of this process, the children will each be interviewed (without the parents being present), so the child can talk freely. Even a very young child’s opinion can be taken into account. These interviews take place over a period of time. The social worker also talks to the schools the children attend etc and they assess the homes each parent can provide etc,
whilst nothing is yet finalised (as far as we’re aware), it would appear the children are happy to live with their father and to remain in the UK. (And the Court is not aware of any safeguarding concerns that would prevent the father ( in the interim at least), to remain as their main carer).
Cafcass don’t get involved in all family court cases. The judge will determine whether they are necessary. Having said that, in a case with a potential overseas move and the profound impact on their relationship with one of their parents either way, I imagine they would be brought in, ditto if there are allegations of any sort of abuse.
If the daughter is 13 now she will soon be an adult, only five years away. And she may wish to go to university or college and presumably cannot do that on the island anyway.
So by today’s post it looks like her kids are with her - presumably just for the Easter holidays since no mention of them moving with her permanently which I assume she’s never be able to resist sharing?
I wonder who has to stump up for their flights/
chaperone them on the flights? I can’t imagine her earning enough for that.
I wonder who has to stump up for their flights/
chaperone them on the flights? I can’t imagine her earning enough for that.
Late Easter holidays though 
Their schools aren’t back until next Tuesday.