Thank you again. I hope you’re on the road to recovery (I hope that doesn’t sound patronising at all) Personally I see substance abuse as another form of mental illness, and one that holds probably the most stigma from outsiders.Well you’re not alone lovely because life has royally messed me up too. I had real problems with drinking and joined AA and still work the programme - stick with me, I’m not thinking at all you have any sort of substance issues - but one of the key things that still resonates with me is “you only pay your gas bill once”...a huge part of the programme is to make amends to those you’ve harmed but don’t keep doing saying you’re sorry. And only take on board and rectify you’re part in something - I would blame myself for everything and carry other people’s guilt and shame on top of my own.
Who knows what the future will bring? I firmly believe in “what’s meant for you won’t pass you by”. And in the meantime, please try to be kinder to yourself. This too shall pass
I’ve always had this ‘sorry’ mentality. Always taking the blame, saying sorry a thousand times, in the hope that on one of those times it would be enough and make things ok.
I do too. As I said earlier, I very much believe in fate, and that the universe has it’s plan (so no matter what you do, eventually you will always end up where you’re meant to be; with who you’re meant to be with). This belief has grown stronger for me in the past couple of years, and does bring me some comfort.