How to fit it in when you have kids?

[Itsallaboutmememe]

Guess thats one way to style out the awkwardness rather than running out covering her eyes. Maybe she was trying to make out she had seen nothing and played it cool by staying for a chat. Meanwhile both of you inside are currently like ...



Had he woken up or was he still asleep while you had been going on? Imagine if he had popped his head out from under the bed while you were just finishing up... I mean how do you stop when that moment comes (pun intended).

Some stories that are making me feel better at least, keep them coming.

Haha she didn’t even notice we where at it-she just wanted her dog and a rant about her mate!

He was asleep-and very grumpy when his red faced parents shifted him!

 

[That3babieslife]

3 under 5s sleep through the night the moment we even think about getting intimate suddenly one wakes up to use the toilet the other start having a coughing fit the last one wakes up crying and I swear it's only the time we think yeah let's get it on other nights no problem at all

 

[Wormhole]

Well that is some advance planning and explain the noise on repeatedly falling out of bed?

The neighbours ever complained then seem as though you put it like that?

Our bedside tables would barely be big enough for a full size vibrator never mind a 20 inch Spreader bar. Though my wife is always worried the kids would find our stuff if we put too much in there. Although it sounds like an impressive kit you have under there.

The neighbors are an older couple so hopefully a bit hard of hearing and I do know they don't use the bedroom that's joined in to ours.

There is possibly some small vending machine novelty items in the bedside drawer but the main collection is defo locked up there is no way I want to be explaining that.

Well that is some advance planning and explain the noise on repeatedly falling out of bed?

The neighbours ever complained then seem as though you put it like that?

Our bedside tables would barely be big enough for a full size vibrator never mind a 20 inch Spreader bar. Though my wife is always worried the kids would find our stuff if we put too much in there. Although it sounds like an impressive kit you have under there.

I did just see some fab lockable storage cases on one more fave websites recently but they were £50 ish

 

[Wormhole]

Hope you have a soft carpet otherwise that could lead to some injuries also.

At our old place the bedroom was so small that the headboard not only hit the wall so much we had to buy a spare pillow to push down the back to stop it we used to always knock the bedside lamps off. Neither scenario is great when 1 kids room is against that wall and lamps were really heavy and loud falling off, usually waking someone up.



wow, we live in constant fear that our kids are going to raid the bedside drawer for all sorts of things too. Never heard of those flavours of lube, they sound amazing.

The lubes were Ann summers box of 10 sachet our bedside draw items are kept in a locked suitcase under the bed

The lubes were Ann summers box of 10 sachet our bedside draw items are kept in a locked suitcase under the bed

We put the duvet on the carpet

 

[Riggs]

Haha she didn’t even notice we where at it-she just wanted her dog and a rant about her mate!

He was asleep-and very grumpy when his red faced parents shifted him!

Sounds like you got away with it pretty well on both counts then at least, could have been much worse.

Had an image of the dog jumping on bed and trying to join in and your daughter coming in at that moment.

 

[Twinkle485]

School hours or 3 in the morning.

 

[Riggs]

Sit and watch Netflix until stupidly late and they are asleep. Then we have to do it on the bedroom floor because our bed is squeaky as fuck

Hope you have a soft carpet otherwise that could lead to some injuries also.

At our old place the bedroom was so small that the headboard not only hit the wall so much we had to buy a spare pillow to push down the back to stop it we used to always knock the bedside lamps off. Neither scenario is great when 1 kids room is against that wall and lamps were really heavy and loud falling off, usually waking someone up.

Ffs that totally reminded me about 10 years ago we caught our toddler eating the sachets of popular sweet ( fruit salad, drumstick) flavour lubes

wow, we live in constant fear that our kids are going to raid the bedside drawer for all sorts of things too. Never heard of those flavours of lube, they sound amazing.

 

[Riggs]

The spreader bar looks pretty innocent when the leg cuffs are not attached.

I guess when you think about it like that it wouldnt really look like much without those attached.

 

[Riggs]

We thought our son slept like a log and were safe in the knowledge that our ‘activities’ were secret. Until recently when he said a boy at school had been talking about sex. He’s 8. I casually answered his questions in an age appropriate and informative manner. He then stated ‘well at least I know what those noises are at night now’

Amazing what they pick up on especially when you are unaware of just what they know. Kids grow up so fast these days & I wonder how a conversation about sex gets started at school at that age. Never mind how you could explain it in such a manner and keep a straight face.

 

[Riggs]

The duvet goes on the floor behind the door so the door would be blocked anyway , I suppose I would have to pretend I had fallen out of bed

Not always on the floor , will use the bed during the day when kids are at school and no body to disturb. Sorry joined on neighbors you don't count !

Usually enough pre warning to unlock the case and stash the required items in more convenient places.

It's rarely dark lights on

I dunno what size your bedside tables but it's pretty hard to fit a 20inch spreader bar in your top drawer

Well that is some advance planning and explain the noise on repeatedly falling out of bed?

The neighbours ever complained then seem as though you put it like that?

Our bedside tables would barely be big enough for a full size vibrator never mind a 20 inch Spreader bar. Though my wife is always worried the kids would find our stuff if we put too much in there. Although it sounds like an impressive kit you have under there.

 

[Riggs]

3 under 5s sleep through the night the moment we even think about getting intimate suddenly one wakes up to use the toilet the other start having a coughing fit the last one wakes up crying and I swear it's only the time we think yeah let's get it on other nights no problem at all

Yeah sounds about right, it’s like as soon as the thought enters your mind and you move an inch in partners direction the kids jump up.

Normally the moment my lips touch my wifes we are greeted by a cough, a toilet flush or door slamming loudly.

 

[Riggs]

My 4 year old had obviously been in our room one day last week as her barbie dolls were wearing condom rain hats.

My son (7) fired a “cannon” at my friend when she visited for the first time that was actually a tampax compact.

We once caught them playing “crinimal and pleece occifer” with novelty fur trimmed handcuffs.

We’ve installed high shelves now.

Some good ones there, thats the issue of a bedside drawer in our case as its in easy reach of the kids. The things in there need to be easily accessible when you are in bed but at the same time they need to be away from prying hands delving in there uninvited.

 

[Riggs]

This thread is just for fun and was something that got me thinking the other day. I love my family and wouldnt change a thing about them but also as someone with 3 children who are rapidly growing it can be increasing difficult to get 'alone time' together with my wife. When children are young and cant wander the house of their own accord or come stumbling into your room at the most inappropriate times its not too difficult but as they get older and have free reign it gets increasing harder to find the time/space for that 'alone time' before someone comes flying into the room.

Most of us cant afford frequent child free 'dirty weekends' and dont want to spend too much time away from the kids.

So my question is, how do most people manage it? What are your funniest stories? Have you been seen by the children and had to make up some lame excuse as to what you were doing?

 

[Riggs]

We’d just got down to do the dirty when my daughters dog ran into the room and jumped up on my partners back
And then said daughter (at the time aged 18) came wandering in to find the dog!
Then for some reason sat at the end of the bed for a chat!
She killed that one dead

Guess thats one way to style out the awkwardness rather than running out covering her eyes. Maybe she was trying to make out she had seen nothing and played it cool by staying for a chat. Meanwhile both of you inside are currently like ...

Another time we got down to it at about 1am thinking they where asleep
We’d just finished the deed when we heard a noise
Both froze-thinking it was either a burglar or a ghost
Nope-my son had got out of bed for a pee-somehow while half asleep had crawled under our bed and crashed out
We’d shagged on top of him...

Had he woken up or was he still asleep while you had been going on? Imagine if he had popped his head out from under the bed while you were just finishing up... I mean how do you stop when that moment comes (pun intended).

Some stories that are making me feel better at least, keep them coming.

 

[Riggs]

The lubes were Ann summers box of 10 sachet

Havent seen those particular flavours before but always liked those particular Brit classic candies.

Our bedside draw items are kept in a locked suitcase under the bed

We put the duvet on the carpet

Guess that would make sense if you are already on the floor as they would be next to you under the bed. Is that how you always have sex then if your 'items' are always in there? Couldnt exactly reach for anything in the heat of the moment if you were in the bed though I imagine, how do you navigate a lock in the dark?

How do you explain that one should any wandering children come in? Say you are camping on the floor...?