How to be happy single?

Renata · Mar 2, 2021

I’m really happy that I single because the majority of men that I have met to date are horribly unsuitable.

i don’t see myself settling with any of them, they have little to offer me for this reason I’m happy - I simply don’t want them.

I know that a lot of my friends have settled to fit in and I find that sad. I surround myself with single people because they are easier to tolerate and we have more in common.

until I meet someone that is good enough I won’t be settling and it feels really good.

Lalisa_mb · Mar 2, 2021

Renata said:
I’m really happy that I single because the majority of men that I have met to date are horribly unsuitable.

i don’t see myself settling with any of them, they have little to offer me for this reason I’m happy - I simply don’t want them.

I know that a lot of my friends have settled to fit in and I find that sad. I surround myself with single people because they are easier to tolerate and we have more in common.

until I meet someone that is good enough I won’t be settling and it feels really good.

Yesss I agree, I’m so happy you have this view too

LucilleBluth · Mar 2, 2021

drewydrop said:
I feel exactly the same. I’m nearly 38 and the whole relationships and family bit has totally passed me by. Not because I haven’t wanted it or chosen my career over it but because I’ve never had the opportunity. I really have to like a man before I get involved in anything and the relationships I’ve been in just haven’t worked out. Then I see everyone I know settle down, buy the big houses and have babies whenever they want (1 friend is on her 4th and another is having her 2nd in 18 months and I just feel like a massive failure). I know for a fact my friends don’t see me like that and they include me in everything. They just tell me it’s just chance that they met the person at the right time. And I can’t even say oh they’ve settled as they all have brilliant partners.

The thing that gets to me is that there’s always talk about the choice of wanting children or not wanting children, and then those who are struggling to conceive and how hard it is for them but there’s less talk about those single people who know they want a family but aren’t even in the position to start trying and that’s what I struggle with most. And lockdown certainly makes me feel my chances of getting what I want are slipping away.

Sorry to bring the thread down because the majority of the time I am really happy with my life and am content with my own company but I know exactly what you mean. I am positive that it will happen someday, whatever form that may take, and I’m not prepared to settle for just anyone after I’ve spent most of my life waiting for the right person, but I do wonder why do they get that and I don’t

Then I read the Dating in Lockdown thread and realise why I’m happy to stay single for the time being

I could have written this myself, word for word!

That’s why it’s hard - my friends generally have great partners, many of whom have become my friends too. I wouldn’t want to marry them but they're good, kind and successful men and not cheaters. My friends don’t exclude me but I do feel excluded from such a huge part of life and society.

Also, since writing my post, one of my best friends has announced her second pregnancy, and she’s three years younger than me I don’t begrudge her a second of it but it’s just constant reinforcement of what I don’t have and can’t have at the moment.

Like you, I’m generally very happy with myself, my own company, and my own life - and I too feel like it will happen one day - but there are days when it all feels a bit too much!

Peakyblinders · Mar 2, 2021

Renata said:
Isn’t it a case of you have to delete all the apps as you cannot physically date anyone in a pandemic?

You’re being forced to do this rather than it being a decision to better yourself?

You date to validate yourself & give yourself a boost. You sound like a serial dater.

This is a really rude comment in my opinion.

Renata · Mar 2, 2021

Peakyblinders said:
This is a really rude comment in my opinion.

yes it was. I responded badly because I misinterpreted the poster. I thought it was another “player” man trying to validate himself.

LucilleBluth · Mar 2, 2021

Poor @Glamourelle being mistaken for a man with the Come Dine With Me photo (at least I think that’s who it is?)

PS @Renata not having a go at you btw!

Renata · Mar 2, 2021

I don’t miss being ghosted and gaslighted.

there really are some awful people out there.

Glamourelle · Mar 2, 2021

LucilleBluth said:
Poor @Glamourelle being mistaken for a man with the Come Dine With Me photo (at least I think that’s who it is?)

PS @Renata not having a go at you btw!

Trust me I am all woman I just love

LucilleBluth said:
Poor @Glamourelle being mistaken for a man with the Come Dine With Me photo (at least I think that’s who it is?)

PS @Renata not having a go at you btw!

Yep I’m definitely all woman, I just love Peter from Come Dine With Me

Peakyblinders said:
This is a really rude comment in my opinion.

Its okay we made up after

LucilleBluth · Mar 2, 2021

Glamourelle said:
Trust me I am all woman I just love

Yep I’m definitely all woman, I just love Peter from Come Dine With Me

Its okay we made up after

I love how he’s looking straight at the camera / into my soul in your pic

Lalisa_mb · Mar 5, 2021

Changed my life & I hope it helps you too xx

no-no · Mar 7, 2021

Lalisa_mb said:
Changed my life & I hope it helps you too xx

Thanks for posting. Early warning signs of LVM was exactly my ex. I feel sick to the pit of my stomach I wasted so many years with him just because I felt so indifferent to life in general. He’s trying to get with a colleague in work now, using the same “opening up” (aka I’m a mad b*tch who treated him so badly ) sob story and she’s falling for it hook, line and sinker. The pair of them deserve each other.

How to be happy single?

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