Home ownership/life when single

[sleepflowers]

I have worked myself into a right state and it's not even midday, so I hope this makes sense!

I am turning 30 next year and have been single all my life. My parents have been pushing me to look at buying somewhere of my own rather than renting, for my own security and to have a bit more freedom. I would love to decorate and have a cat as I am really lonely.

I am looking to buy in London (I know) as I enjoy living here and most of my career opportunities are here. Currently in a full time permanent position paying 25k with no debt/credit issues (minus student loans). I may have access to a deposit from inheritance, so I've been looking into shared ownership etc, which I know I'm really lucky to be able to do.

However, the luck stops there...everywhere I've investigated, even for a 1 bedroom small flat, wants a 'minimum income' of around 50k+. There is no way I could achieve that without a partner in the next 10-15 years. It feels like I am being penalised for being single and it's just set off a load of my insecurities: 'Why am I so useless for not getting a boyfriend? Is it because I'm unattractive? Will I ever be happy and less lonely? Why did I not choose a higher salary profession?'

Can anyone offer comfort/words of wisdom? I feel like I will either be renting forever and not enjoying the privileges of ownership, or owning somewhere where I didn't really want to live. This is not helping my depression spiral Why are single women constantly penalised for everything?

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I have worked myself into a right state and it's not even midday, so I hope this makes sense!

I am turning 30 next year and have been single all my life. My parents have been pushing me to look at buying somewhere of my own rather than renting, for my own security and to have a bit more freedom. I would love to decorate and have a cat as I am really lonely.

I am looking to buy in London (I know) as I enjoy living here and most of my career opportunities are here. Currently in a full time permanent position paying 25k with no debt/credit issues (minus student loans). I may have access to a deposit from inheritance, so I've been looking into shared ownership etc, which I know I'm really lucky to be able to do.

However, the luck stops there...everywhere I've investigated, even for a 1 bedroom small flat, wants a 'minimum income' of around 50k+. There is no way I could achieve that without a partner in the next 10-15 years. It feels like I am being penalised for being single and it's just set off a load of my insecurities: 'Why am I so useless for not getting a boyfriend? Is it because I'm unattractive? Will I ever be happy and less lonely? Why did I not choose a higher salary profession?'

Can anyone offer comfort/words of wisdom? I feel like I will either be renting forever and not enjoying the privileges of ownership, or owning somewhere where I didn't really want to live. This is not helping my depression spiral Why are single women constantly penalised for everything?

When it comes to home ownership, most single people on a salary of 25K are never going to be able to buy anything in London. Man or woman. 25K is a pretty low salary and in London, it’s even lower. Unfortunately if you are really keen on buying a property you will need to compromise on the location and look outside of London and the south/south east. Unfortunately that’s just the way it is

why not look at other areas of the country that are far Cheaper but still have that city vibe? Bristol? Manchester? Or even further north into Scotland?
What is it that you do for a living & what aspects of living in London do you like best? Where do you currently live?

 

[Lanavalentine]

I’m so sorry. It’s so tit. It’s just the way it is, and it’s unfair on so many people, so please try not to take it to heart.

I personally don’t think shared ownership works for most people anyway. It can be quite difficult to sell on and move up the ladder.

If I were in your position, I’d be doing three things (apologies if you’re already doing this):

- saving as hard as possible; looking to cut down outgoings in general to get bank accounts looking healthy

- looking at my career prospects and financial options. What will your salary look like in five years? If it’s not going to increase much, can you look at other career options? How can you earn your best salary?

- looking at places other than London to live. So many cities in the UK can offer an equally vibrant lifestyle. Could you move to a cheaper city?

The final thing, which is a very big thing and definitely doesn’t work for everyone, is to consider trying to buy a property with a friend. I have female friends who got on the property ladder in London by doing this. It requires legal input and a lot of trust, but it can be done. I am still not sure your salary would be enough in London though, unfortunately, unless your friend earns a lot more, which might cause issues down the line really.

I know it’s tit. It’s a bleeping crime, to be honest. It makes me so angry how an average wage cannot buy a house in the majoritt of the country. Everyone has to make sacrifices and be clever about their longterm prospects, and that’s probably even more important if you’re looking to buy alone.

Good luck x

Edited to add:

Please don’t compare yourself to influencers who make loads of money and have bought property young. They are NOT the norm and if you have a profession you are better future-proofed than them when their influencer bubble bursts!

Also, 30 is young and your parents won’t understand because it was SO different in their day. Houses were fairly priced then. You have so much time, and basically 90% of people your age are in the same boat. Hang tight and just be as financially savvy as possible.

 

[Begborrowsteal]

London is just crazy prices. We had to move out to hertfordshire to afford the rent. Have a look at more commuter belt areas, so you can still work in London.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

London is just crazy prices. We had to move out to hertfordshire to afford the rent. Have a look at more commuter belt areas, so you can still work in London.

Even a commuter town is going to be expensive, for someone only earning £25K - particularly if you think about the travel costs back into London. I used to travel in from Essex/East London and I was spending about £5K a year on rail costs..... it’s insane

 

[sleepflowers]

When it comes to home ownership, most single people on a salary of 25K are never going to be able to buy anything in London. Man or woman. 25K is a pretty low salary and in London, it’s even lower. Unfortunately if you are really keen on buying a property you will need to compromise on the location and look outside of London and the south/south east. Unfortunately that’s just the way it is

why not look at other areas of the country that are far Cheaper but still have that city vibe? Bristol? Manchester? Or even further north into Scotland?
What is it that you do for a living & what aspects of living in London do you like best? Where do you currently live?

I think I was fooled with the promise of shared ownership, where you don't need to get a full mortgage. It said open to anyone earning under 90k, what they fail to say is that most of the time it's people earning over 50k, alone or combined. I don't have that alone or combined. If I was with someone else earning the same as me, I could buy.

I currently live in London and have for the past 4 years. I work in libraries and most of the jobs are here, the ones that pay better at least. I like London living, when life is 'normal' I'm big into going to museums, galleries, theatre, gigs etc which just don't happen in most other places. As I'm single that's what I fill my time with and I don't want to give it up. I guess I'll just have to keep renting for now.

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Even a commuter town is going to be expensive, for someone only earning £25K - particularly if you think about the travel costs back into London. I used to travel in from Essex/East London and I was spending about £5K a year on rail costs..... it’s insane

Depends how far out you go though. Like Herts/Beds is catching up price wise but it may be doable. Depends which way you go out as well, like essex/east london has nicer pockets to it and has been gentrified. Whereas Luton will always be seen as rough

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I think I was fooled with the promise of shared ownership, where you don't need to get a full mortgage. It said open to anyone earning under 90k, what they fail to say is that most of the time it's people earning over 50k, alone or combined. I don't have that alone or combined. If I was with someone else earning the same as me, I could buy.

I currently live in London and have for the past 4 years. I work in libraries and most of the jobs are here, the ones that pay better at least. I like London living, when life is 'normal' I'm big into going to museums, galleries, theatre, gigs etc which just don't happen in most other places. As I'm single that's what I fill my time with and I don't want to give it up. I guess I'll just have to keep renting for now.

I can absolutely assure you that in most major cities in the UK there is a very vibrant culture of museums/theatre/gigs etc etc etc - I promise, there is a whole world outside of London!!!!! Have you ever lived anywhere else? Or visited any other city in the UK?!!!

 

[megsmagoo]

I’d avoid shared ownership if possible, most people I have spoken to have struggled with selling and say they feel trapped but there might be other more positive stories.

I feel you though, a single friend of mine bought a flat while she was single but had a 50k deposit and had been saving for 10 years! Would outside of London be an option? Some really nice towns in a commutable distance

 

[Alexaj]

I bought a house by myself by 30 on a similar wage... but I wasn't looking at London, or anywhere down south. I think you need to realise it's not going to happen in London on that wage so either get climbing that career ladder ASAP or consider another city (preferred option).

 

[sleepflowers]

I can absolutely assure you that in most major cities in the UK there is a very vibrant culture of museums/theatre/gigs etc etc etc - I promise, there is a whole world outside of London!!!!! Have you ever lived anywhere else? Or visited any other city in the UK?!!!

I lived in Cardiff for 3 years, then Oxford another 2, and my hometown is near Birmingham, so I've been to enough cities and would not be totally against moving!! But the job issue is the biggest thing. Outside of London there's barely anything that pays better.

 

[justheretoread99]

I currently live in London and have for the past 4 years. I work in libraries and most of the jobs are here, the ones that pay better at least. I like London living, when life is 'normal' I'm big into going to museums, galleries, theatre, gigs etc which just don't happen in most other places. As I'm single that's what I fill my time with and I don't want to give it up. I guess I'll just have to keep renting for now.

I’m from Yorkshire and we have some amazing cities up here, York, Sheffield, Leeds all have amazing city vibes, festivals, museums and exhibitions. We’re only 50 minutes away from Manchester by train and 1 hour 30 minutes from London by train.

If you want to stay in London you’re going to have to pay London prices. If you don’t want to pay London prices you’re going to have to look elsewhere.

Dont worry that you’re single. Nothing is wrong with you Your time will come. Normally when you’re least expecting it. Just concentrate on saving as much as you can in the mean time. It’s hard buying a house alone, but not impossible you just have to be realistic and sensible.

 

[JoeBloggs]

Things are changing but £25k in London as others have said it low. The thing with share ownership is they reduce the mortgage they can give you to cover the rent you have to pay. So normally you might get a £100K mortgage, you are looking at more like £50-60k which isn’t going to buy you much.

To be honest I do not know anyone who is single who had bought alone down south (I’m also 30 and live in Surrey) because it is just not possible.

One friend bought years ago on share ownership, and has had so much trouble trying to sell to buy with her partner. It’s still not sold 18 months down the line.

Explore your options. Moving out I would say you possible need to go midlands etc but the commute in is quick. I have a friend in the same position as you and she is struggling with what to do as she cannot buy alone but doesn’t want to go back up north.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I lived in Cardiff for 3 years, then Oxford another 2, and my hometown is near Birmingham, so I've been to enough cities and would not be totally against moving!! But the job issue is the biggest thing. Outside of London there's barely anything that pays better.

Yeah but your cost of living in London is high so if you lived somewhere cheaper on a similar wage you’d have more of your money for yourself.

 

[Alexaj]

Yeah but your cost of living in London is high so if you lived somewhere cheaper on a similar wage you’d have more of your money for yourself.

Yes, it's an important point. Your wage may be slightly less but your living costs would reduce too and you will most likely have more disposable income.

 

[Lanavalentine]

Yeah but your cost of living in London is high so if you lived somewhere cheaper on a similar wage you’d have more of your money for yourself.

And also, if you moved and rented first (just to make sure you’re happy in the area) with cost of living and rent being lower, you have more chance to save up and boost your deposit.

If it were £25k in London but £22k in Leeds, for example, I think the latter would win everytime for me.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I lived in Cardiff for 3 years, then Oxford another 2, and my hometown is near Birmingham, so I've been to enough cities and would not be totally against moving!! But the job issue is the biggest thing. Outside of London there's barely anything that pays better.

Is this your dream job? Or would you be open to other types of jobs? I only ask because- and with respect- £25K a year is a relatively low salary and there are many jobs that I’m sure you could do with similar salaries with scope to move up and earn far more.

 

[Kim Mild]

Another option could be to buy a house in a cheaper area of the country, like near Newcastle and rent it out .
If you could afford to do that , and live where you live now .

 

[under the ivy]

I’m single and I’m saving for a house deposit, on my own. Moved back in with my Mum after my relationship broke down last year, and decided to save for a home. I’m on a PhD student stipend so I’m limited in what I can afford to save, but I’m adding to my LISA every month without fail minimum £300. I don’t care how long it takes me. I’m hoping post PhD I’ll get a decent paying job so I’m able to save more/rent cheaply somewhere.

London prices are crazy. I’ve always wanted to live in London but there’s no way I could afford to buy or rent there. I live in West Yorkshire and some of the prices here are maddening. Ex council houses near me are going for £250k plus.

I have no financial advice but good luck. I’m single and saving. It can be done.

 

[Saddlesoap]

Having never lived anywhere except rural north England, my advice may be pointless, but....

That sounds very low for a London wage to me.

I agree with some of the others that you may be better getting out of London, or at least seeing what jobs are out there. In a Northern city, or even Scotland, you'll get more for less money, so may be worth it. There are vibrant cultural cities other than London.

Regarding home ownership, yes it's a privilege, but an expensive one, so it's not just the mortgage to consider. Which I am sure you are well aware, but repairs, services etc will cost more than elsewhere.

Could you move back to your parents to save money as renting in London must be eating into any money you could be saving.