They didn’t get her help for her ED?! Jesus no wonder she has clearly not recovered, getting over something like that alone is impossible imo
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She’ll never see it like that though, and I doubt her family would either considering they’re the ones who never pressed proper treatment further. Holly did say she spoke to somebody but it ‘wasn’t for her’. I don’t think it’s a case of whether it’s for you or not, but whether you need it. If you need the help then you get it, and Holly should’ve been forced to continue talking to someone.
She can’t open up properly and she needs to learn how to
Jesus that is awful. There is something so odd about her family generally imo...
Reading this journal entry makes me sad.
It looks like a young girl or teenager has written it, and the second item screams pain to me.
I'm of the opinion that Holly is who/how she is because of her parents and their inability to deal with emotions in a healthy way, which results in control issues for them, as well as her. They are not able to help themselves let alone her, and their attempts/intentions are most likely misguided for that reason. She obviously instinctively feels like she doesn't want to engage with them on this issue, and I think she is right about this - their coping mechanisms/advice are too distorted to be of any true help, and they are the reason she has these issues in the first place.
I do not dispute that she has issues and needs help. I think that this needs to come from outside the home, from a qualified therapist. Seeing as they seemingly didn't seek treatment from a medical professional for her eating disorder when she was underage - a previous comment Emily made about depression being a choice also jumps out - I suspect that they are not well educated on mental health issues and are wary, or even actively disapproving, of therapy. It seems likely that they may be stunting Holly's growth/recovery by dissuading her from reaching out for this kind of help. They certainly come across as 'old-fashioned' with a 'pull your socks up'/'stiff upper lip' kind of approach. They may not actually stop her from getting help if she decided to do this, but I'm sure their opinions influence Holly, who seems used to being controlled/influenced by them, especially when she is living in their house. I can imagine them making comments about 'wasting' money on therapy, in the same way comments about 'wasting' money on rent were made.
I thought about messaging Holly to say this but don't use IG, so I'll write it here: Holly, I believe you're right that your family's intentions and attempts to 'help' you may well be coming from an unhelpful and negative place. Trust and believe your gut on this and google some qualified therapists with eating disorder expertise near you. You should able to have an initial chat with them free of charge and on zoom. Find one you like and think you could work with. It is worth the money more than anything else in your life right now. It will challenge you but it is an investment in your happiness and future. It may make things difficult with your family, but you will be doing the right thing.
Edited to add: Also, it's easy to assume that her family's attempts to help her are related to her eating, but this may not be the case. They could be trying to influence her in other ways (which I would assume are also unhelpful). She needs to be able to feel her own feelings and make her own decisions.
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I find myself feeling more and more sad for her the more I watch her videosI really hope this doesn't come across rude but I don't think it would be a bad thing if she was rejected from the masters. I know education is all she's really known but I really think she'd be better taking a step back and getting some experience in the masters subjects that she's interested in. Shes in such a fortunate position with her tutoring that I'm sure she could take it on part time is she needed to volunteer/ work unpaid and I think seeing what jobs there are to do in biology would really benefit her. Now she's not going abroad there no rush to start studying this year, and even starting a course in January would give her a few months to explore careers. Through family friends I know biology/health/environment companies will often pay you to do further degrees or help you fund PhDs whilst working. She seems to jump from idea to idea like from med to nutrition to oncology, all in a short space of time, she's young and there's really no need to rush. Sometimes you don't need to find the perfect fit, you start working and new doors open, and you find jobs and area that interest you that you didn't even know existed and gradually things just fall into place.
I get what you're saying but I also think it's important for her to get out of her home life, for good. If a Masters will be the stepping stone to that then I think the benefits would outweigh the other (very valid) potential factors that you outline
I just worry that a single year masters (in London at that) just won’t help Holly with her independence. She’ll likely commute in (who wouldn’t when she can get the train into London direct in 50 mins). I can see her getting on with work as per her Cambridge routine for a few months, but then coming home for Christmas, and then finishing the masters and moving back in.
The fact Emily is still at home at what, 25 (?) doesn’t help Holly’s case either really. I think studying in London just won’t be the most enriching experience for her.
A PhD in cancer reaserch with 0 research or lab experience?
Yeah, and since she doesn't have a Masters so she would have to stand out a lot to get onto a PhD programme. She just doesn't have that extracurricular experience in her field that would get her onto a PhD programme.
I don't think there's anything wrong with living at home at 25, I didn't move out till I was 24 due to financial circumstances.
However, Holly's parents strike me as the type of parents that don't want their kids to leave the nest. I feel like that's why her sister and brother haven't left either.
I could just imagine Holly completely reclusing herself again if she did. I'm all for being introverted but she definitely takes it to the extreme.
It was nice seeing her be socialable with friends recently but I can't help but feel sad for her when she said she can count on one hand how many parties she's been too. I know parties aren't everyone's thing but it still made me sad especially if you watch PaigeY (favourite YouTuber, she's fabulous if you've not seen her)
Paige is very social and studious. She has an amazing balance and is very well balanced. She would do all sorts of social activities but still did her park and obtained a 2:1. Further proof you don't need to be studying 24/7 to do well!
However, Holly's parents strike me as the type of parents that don't want their kids to leave the nest. I feel like that's why her sister and brother haven't left either.
I could just imagine Holly completely reclusing herself again if she did. I'm all for being introverted but she definitely takes it to the extreme.
It was nice seeing her be socialable with friends recently but I can't help but feel sad for her when she said she can count on one hand how many parties she's been too. I know parties aren't everyone's thing but it still made me sad especially if you watch PaigeY (favourite YouTuber, she's fabulous if you've not seen her)
Paige is very social and studious. She has an amazing balance and is very well balanced. She would do all sorts of social activities but still did her park and obtained a 2:1. Further proof you don't need to be studying 24/7 to do well!
Yep I love PaigeY, seems like she's got a good head on her and makes smart decisions (especially her recent career decision). I just hope she doesn't go stale or we find bad stuff about her like what's been happening with other Studytubers (UnJaded Jade, Holly etc).
I am optimistic about Paige! She seems very articulate and generally posts interesting content that aren't all "studying for 24 hours straight"
I am very intrigued to see where she goes with her channel now she's working but also studying at the same time! I'm keeping my hopes up!
I recommend her friend, Astrid as well. She is super down to earth and "normal" as well. She struggles with depression and I loved how honest she was throughout her time at Cambridge. It was refreshing!
Oooh thanks for the rec! What's Astrid's youtube channel (feel free to DM me if it's better so it doesn't disrupt the thread)
It won't let me DM you but here you go
Astrid Franciszka
I'm an English Literature student at Jesus College, Cambridge Follow me to see what I get up to
Does anyone remember the time when she boiled some peas in a mug and called it a "mug shot"? 
Universities do have the right to look at social media, especially if it’s been mentioned that someone ‘has their own brand’ or is an ‘online blogger/vlogger’ which I presume Holly would’ve mentioned.
Hope for her sake they don’t check hers
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