It was so obvious to anyone with eyes that their marriage was doomed from the start. Instead of spending any real time reflecting on why she rushed into a marriage which was never going to last she's just jumped from bloke to bloke, spent loads of money and generally got louder and even more obnoxious - presumably all to fill the same void she was trying to fill by marrying someone so wrong for her. I hope she's putting that therapy to good use because she so blatantly needs it.I stopped watching after Helen's reaction to Maffs first proposal. I commented saying it wasn't a good sign that you're asking him to propose again and she was SO RUDE in response. Back then it genuinely did come from a place of concern.
I remember watching their wedding and feeling really uncomfortable. Like I've seen some YouTubers get married and it has just been joyful. Watching that vlog was like waiting for the other shoe to drop.
So fake and empty.
I stopped watching her vlogs altogether a little before Helga and Mark broke up. The constant boozing and whining and eating and fake cockney accent.....it just got too much for me. I couldn't even hate watch anymore.
I keep up on here because you're all funny and I keep sorta wishing for change I know will never happen
- Status
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Well she claims she read that beauty book over and over again.... We all know how that turned out
Sorry, who’s copying who now? Getting silly
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Yeah I did think this the other day
Girl, you really don't need to merge into Helen Anderz
I’m growing to despise the graphic tee/printed turtleneck combo
Yep. Hate it. Looks so sweaty.
At least she has her own thing when it comes to her hair. Rich colour, good condition. Far from helga’s look
How long until we get another Agony Aunt episode #1? In another 5 months?
Oh no Jessie whyyyy?
I'm surprised she hasn't tried to go the clickbait title route, aka "wooops, sorry forgot to add 'Agony aunt' in the title, will change that in 24 hours!"
Looking forward to Luna's recap, though I predict it'll be a lot of "DO IT! Just do it, do what you want, JUST BE confident, innit!"
Looking forward to Luna's recap, though I predict it'll be a lot of "DO IT! Just do it, do what you want, JUST BE confident, innit!"
It’s only episode 2 and she already messed us the numbers
Such quality...
Very much the same thing happened to me too! I was quite brutally dumped in the middle of 2017, but was still feeling rubbish about it when Helen did her initial video.
When Mark arrived on the scene I couldn't understand how she was seriously dating again so soon as I was no where near ready - it took me until January 2020 haha. I know everyone has different time lines for when you're ready to move on, but joining my local gym, getting more involved with work socially and picking up crafty hobbies did me the world of good, rather than hopping on dating apps etc
please only one Helen is enough for me thank u
Can anyone fill us is on how she bitched about josie online? Completely missed that!! 
VIDEO SUMMARY: I want to break up with him | Agony Aunt Episode #1
[DESCRIPTON: Me talking about your problems....]
TLDR:
SAYS IF YOU WERE UPSET ABOUT THE CLICKBAIT IN THE LAST VIDEO
IT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU'RE ANNOYED THAT YOU FELL FOR IT.
AKA duck YOU IF YOU COMPLAIN.
SAYS CLICKBAIT WORKS.
GIVES HER USUAL RAMBLING ADVICE OF "JUST DO IT"
LOOKS DRUNK/HIGH AGAIN IN THIS VIDEO
[DESCRIPTON: Me talking about your problems....]
TLDR:
SAYS IF YOU WERE UPSET ABOUT THE CLICKBAIT IN THE LAST VIDEO
IT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU'RE ANNOYED THAT YOU FELL FOR IT.
AKA duck YOU IF YOU COMPLAIN.
SAYS CLICKBAIT WORKS.
GIVES HER USUAL RAMBLING ADVICE OF "JUST DO IT"
LOOKS DRUNK/HIGH AGAIN IN THIS VIDEO
Learning from her last clickbait attempt she at least has put that it's an agony aunt video... but it's not episode 1... it's 2...
She can't help but do a click bait thumbnail though...
Starting off with BoringKettleVision
Helga awkwardly sits on her sofa with her leg out
"NEARLY HAHA!"
She says she did a video last year but she FINKS she stopped it because of vlogmas or vlogtober
Either way, she's not actually going to bother looking up when she last did it
Anyway, she says that vlogmas or vlogtober "caused a fuss" and her series didn't continue
"IT'S MY CHANNEL. MY RULES. I FEEL NO GUILT" ...what a weird thing to say.
"I'M NOT AN EXPERT IN THE WORLD... I'M NOT A LIFE COACH. BUT WHAT I CAN BE IS A FRIEND TO YOU" (and give you terrible advice)
"I CAN BE YER BIG SISTER, I CAN BE YER AUNTIE IF YER WANT."
Says she's been sent in a few agonies.... "OR PROBS" (because she asked for them)
She's going to discuss them today with her "HONEST N FRANK OPINION"
She says that last time she did the video she titled it "HE CHEATED"
"AD-MITT-TID-AD-LY.... ADMITTEDLY, IT WOZ PRETTY CLICKBAITY. IT WOZN'T A LIE CUZ WE DID TALK ABOUT... CHEATIN' IN DA VIDEO"
She pulls a face
"BUT SUM PEOPLE GOT QUITE IRATE.... AND I APOLOGISE FOR THAT" It took her 5 months to say that?!
"BUT YER KNOW... IF YER A YOUTUBER YOU KNOW THAT I... THAT.... SOMETIMES.... YER KNOW... IF YER GOT AN OPPORTUNITY TO CLICKBAIT... WELL IF I... WELL LETS JUST PUT IT THIS WAY.... IT bleeping WORKS!!!!"
Jesus Christ... what is this?
"IT WORKS!!!! AND YER PROBABLY ANNOYED CUZ YER FELL FOR IT!!!!"
Yikes, has she been on the substances again? She's being so bizarre...
"AND THEN YER FELT ANNOYED AND BAD BECAUSE SUBCONSCIOUSLY YOU WERE HOPIN' TO HEAR SUM GOSSIP... SO WHO'S THE BAD PERSON HERE? ME OR YOU?"
She cackles. What a weird bleeping rant.
She's got her "bleeping genius" mug and we're off to the first agony.
Q1. HOW TO COME TO TERMS WITH ANTIDEPRESSANT MEDICATION?
"I'M GUNNA SAY..... JUST DO IT!"
She says she had refused to go on them before because of her previous perception and opinion of them
"WHICH, ADMITTIDALY, WASN'T GREAT - I FORT IT WAS A FAILURE TO GO ON ANTIDEPRESSANTS..... FOR ME!!! NOT FOR OTHER PEOPLE..."
It didn't bother her if others were on them "I WAS LIKE KEWL" but is sheeeeeeee were on them "GASP"
Now she's on them and she can't stop raving about them.
She says it's a shame there's still a stigma because "ADMITTEDLY, I WAS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE"
("Admittedly" is the word of the day in this video)
Says we have to normalise it and make antidepressants as normal as taking paracetamol
Q2. OVERCOMING SELF DOUBT. KEEP GETTING CONSTANT WAVES
Why is she not asking these in question form?
Says that she thinks we all do. She thinks it's useful to know that everyone goes through this.
"SUMTIMES WE LOOK AT PEOPLE AND FINK YEAH, THEY GOT THEIR tit TOGETHER, THEY ARE SO SURE OF THEMSELVES, THEY KNOW WOT THEY'RE DOING. WHY CAN'T I BE LIKE THAT?"
"I CAN GUARANTEE THEY PROBABLY DON'T FEEL LIKE THAT. NO ONE DOES. I DON'T THINK ANYONE DOES"
.....wut? She doesn't think that anyone feels like they have their tit together or that they're sure of themselves...?
"SELF DOUBT IS A BIG FING FER NOT TAKING UP UHHH... FOR NOT WEARING SUMFING, FOR NOT DOING OPPORTUNITIES, FOR FINGS THAT YOU DIDN'T SAY.... FOR.... UHHHH... CHALLENGES YOU DIDN'T SET YERSELF... FOR RUNS YOU DIDN'T GO ON. IT'S A FORT THAT'S ALL IT IS."
"IT'S WOT I LEARNED IN THERAPY FORTS AREN'T FACTS!"
"YOU KNOW WOT'S A FACT? JUST DOING SUMFINK!"
Q3. HOW TO SET BOUNDARIES WITH TOXIC FAMILY MEMBERS YOU HAVE, OPPOSITE VIEWS ABOUT LIFE, ETC , THAN YOU?
Medication, self-doubt.... BOUNDARIES?! These are all Helga's buzzwords, why does it sound like she wrote these questions herself?
"I FINK AS WE'RE GROWING INTO YOUNG ADULTS AND WE ARE GROWING INTO ADULTS... ER... OR IF YOU ARE ALREADY A GROWN UP PERSON"
....you mean an... adult?
"IT'S SAFE TO SAY THAT WE ARE ALL ENTITLED TO OUR OWN BELIEFS AND LIVING THE LIVES WE CHOOSE TO LEAD... I MEAN... I SUMTIMES BUTT HEADS WITH MY PARENTS... BUT THEY'RE QUITE AWARE THAT I'M AN INDEPENDENT PERSON WIV MY OWN VIEWS... AND I LIVE MY LIFE THE WAY I WANT TO"
Says that even from a young age her parents know that even though they were quite vocal about things, there was no point because Helga would just do what she wanted regardless.
She says that it's okay to distance yourself from family members if you don't meet eye to eye.
She stutters over the topic some more and says that there are some topics that she doesn't discuss with her Dad for example, that they've agreed to not talk about it because HE makes HER angry.
"I'M LIKE I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS WIV YOU" She chuckles.
Q4. I'M ALWAYS GET RAZOR BURN ON MY BIKINI LINE. ANY ADVICE ON HOW TO PREVENT IT?
Ok, she wrote these herself. Either that or no one watches her videos as all these questions she's covered multiple times in multiple videos.
"I'VE ALWAYS HAD PROBLEMS WIV MA BIKINI LINE SO I GOT LASER! IT'S THE BEST FING I SPENT MA MONEY ON..... OTHER THAN MY COUCH.... AND MY PRADA BAG....." she takes a smug witch sip of her tea and wheezes a laugh into it
Q5. HOW SOON IS TOO SOON TO START DATING AFTER BREAKING UP/DIVORCING YOUR HUSBAND?
"HOW LONG IS A PIECE OF STRING?"
"YOU DO IT WENEVA YOU FEEL LIKE YER READY TO... I STARTED DATIN.... SIX MUMPHS AFTER I BROKE UP WIV MY HUS... EEEEEX...MAEEE... BO.... MY EX....HUSBAND"
She stutters over her words and then acts like she's puking out words
"BECAUSE... IT FELT RIGHT... AND I WANTED TO."
"YER KNOW WOT? THERE IS NO... THERE'S NO RULE BOOK. PEOPLE WILL MAKE DIGS, OR SAY FINGS TO YOU LIKE OOOOH YOU SHUD LIVE... YOU SHUD GIVE YERSELF TIME..."
What is this constant switch she does mid-sentence?
"YOU MIGHT EVEN TELL YERSELF, MAYBE I SHUD BE ON MA OWN FOR A BIT.... MAYBE YOU SHUD BE ON YER OWN FOR A BIT"
"AS SOCIETY WE FABRICATE THESE KINDA... INVISIBLE RULES OF HOW PEOPLE SHUD LIVE THEIR LIFE AND HOW THEY SHUD DATE AND HOW THEY SHUD..... Y'KNOW.... DON'T DO X, Y AND Z..."
"I'M SO FED UP WIV OTHER PEOPLE PUTTIN' THEIR OAR IN, TELLIN' WOT THEY FINK ABOUT HOW YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE, COZ AT THE END OF THE DAY IT'S NUN OF THEIR bleeping BUSINESS"
Q6. HOW DO YOU MOVE PAST WHAT PEOPLE WILL THINK OF YOUR CAREER CHOICE, EG ONLINE BUSINESS?
(Guys...THESE QUESTIONS RIGHT NOW!!!)
"ERM, YOU JUST MOVE"
"LIKE HONESTLY, I'M AT THIS POINT IN MA LIFE WHERE I REALLY DO NOT CONSIDER.... HOW OTHERS... WOT OVVAS FINK OF ME... UNLESS I'M LIKE.... BEING HURTFUL... WHICH I'M NOT!!!!"
"IF I WOZ TO BE HURTFUL THEN... MAYBE... YOU CANNOT LET THE OPINIONS OF OVVAS HINDER YER LIFE CHOICES BECAUSE AT THE END OF GAY"
(yes she slurred her words together and says at the end of gay instead of the end of the day...)
"LIKE I'VE PREVIOUSLY SAID... A) IT'S NUN OF THEIR BUSINESS AND B) THEY'RE NOT LIVIN' YOUR LIFE, YOU'RE NOT LIVIN TO PLEASE OVVA PEOPLE."
Says that once you drop all that tit then you'll truly feel free
"NOW I...... PERSONAL STORY.... I MEAN I'VE HAD IT FOR SO MANY YEARS, THAT PEOPLE FINK I GOT IT EASY, THAT PEOPLE FINK DAT... LIKE BEING AN INFLUENCER OR A CONTENT CREATOR IS LIKE... THE ULTIMATE DOSS JOB, LIKE IT'S NOT A REAL JOB... WHEN YOU GET A REAL JOB... AND SO I CONSTANTLY FORT THAT I HAD TO PROVE HOW MUCH OF A HARD WORKER I WOZ BY LITERALLY EXHAUSTING MYSELF AND BURNING MYSELF OUT BECAUSE I... IT WOZ LIKE.... I AM GUNNA WORK REALLY HARD TODAY AND I'M GUNNA BURN MYSELF OUT, I'M GUNNA WORK ALL HOURS OF THE DAY TO PROVE THAT I AM A HARD WORKER AND WOT I DO ISN'T EASY, BUT WHO WOZ I PROVIN' THAT TO? NO ONE! CUZ NO ONE COULD SEE ME WORKIN' I WOZ TRYIN TO PROVE IT TO PEOPLE DAT WEREN'T EVEN THERE"
"ERM, NOW, I.... BASICALLY FINK THIS IS YER JOB. YER JOB IS... ISN'T LIKE EVERYONE ELSES. YOU DON'T WORK A 9-5 JOB, YOU DO WOTEVA YOU WANT. YOU MAKE MONEY WHERE YOU CAN AND YOU TAKE ON JOBS WHERE YOU CAN. YOU DON'T WORK EVERY SINGLE DAY, BUT SUMTIMES YOU MIGHT WORK 5 DAYS ON THE TROT, 7 DAYS ON THE TROT... SUMTIMES YOU'LL BE WORKIN' TILL MIDNIGHT!!! SOMETIMES YOU'LL BE UP AT 6AM EDITIN'"
"LIKE, MY LIFE ISN'T THE SAME AS ANYONE ELSE'S LIFE. AND NO ONE UNDERSTANDS WOT IT IS TO BE ME AND HOW IT IS TO BE BE MY... TO DO MY JOB THE WAY I CHOOSE TO DO IT SO THERES NO PONT WORRYING ABOUT BECAUSE PEOPLE WON'T UNDERSTAND UNLESS THEY'RE ACTUALLY INSIDE MY BODY, INSIDE MY BRAIN DOING THE THINGS I DO EVERY SINGLE DAY.... SO WOULD JUST SAY...... JUST WALK PAST IT... JUST GET PAST IT."
That's her advice for that Q, just walk past it. Just get past it. Just do it.
Q6. HOW DO YOU MANAGE WIV BIG STEPS WHEN YOU WERE IN YER ONLY 20S, ME AND MY BOYFRIEND ARE MOVING OUT OF STUDENT HOUSING NEXT YEAR CONGRATS AND IM SO NERVOUS ABOUT MONEY ETC
She says that she moved out of her home when she was 18 and moved in with her boyfriend, and it was scary... wait no she changed her mind, she didn't even think about it... she JUST DID IT.
She says that adult things just fall into place and these things aren't as scary as they sound
"THESE BIG LIFE THINGS........ AREN'T REALLY BIG LIFE THINGS" She says with a burp.
"I MEAN THEY ARE BIG LIFE FINGS.... BUT THEY'RE ALSO NOT, THEY'RE NOT A BIG DEAL"
Says the witch who makes a BIG DEAL about all her "life fings"
"AS LONG AS THE MONEY'S COMING IN FOR YOU TO PAY YER BILLS DATS ALL THAT MATTERS"
She moves on to the next Q "OOH DIS ONE'S JUICY!"
Q7. I WANT TO BUILD SAVINGS, BUT MY PARTNER OF 4 YEARS CAN ONLY WORK IN CITIES WHICH ARE OUT OF MY BUDGET. I WANT TO LIVE SOMEWHERE CHEAPER TO BUILD OUR FINANCES BUT I'M WORRIED DISTANCE MIGHT HURR... HURT OUR RELATIONSHIP. SHOULD I INVEST IN THE PERSON I LOVE LONG TERM OR SHOULD I TRY TO MAKE MOVES FOR MYSELF FINANCIALLY?
Helga's eyes roll around as she gurns after reading the question
Says that relationships are all about compromise, starts off well but then asks
"WHY IS IT THAT YOU WANT TO BUILD YOUR FINANCES? IS THERE A REASON THAT YOU WANT TO BUILD YOUR FINANCES?"
"IS HE WILLING TO PAY MORE BECAUSE HE'S THE ONE LIVING IN THE CITY?"
Says they need to meet in the middle and tells the person that they should not be expected to be the one that is sacrificing everything just so her boyfriend can do his job "IN THE PLACE"
"IT'S NOT REALLY FAIR"
Basically asks her is this guy worth it, sometimes you need to put yourself first
"MAYBE YOU TWO AREN'T COMPATIBLE.... MAYBE YOU TWO... THIS JUST ISN'T THE RIGHT TIME... FOR THAT."
Q8. I'VE LOST MY IDENTITY IN LOCKDOWN, STYLE, WEIGHT GAIN HOW CAN I FIND MYSELF AGAIN?
Helga whines / sings as she throws herself back
She leans back
"EVERYBODY HAS...."
Erm, no Helga, not everybody.
What is she doing??
"LIKE...."
"IS EVERY... LIKE SSSSS... MOST PEOPLE..."
"ARE GOING FREW THIS RIGHT NOW. I AM....."
She sits up and sticks her nose in the air
"IT'S ALL DOWN TO THE FACT THAT THERE WOZ A PANDEMIC AND WE HAD TO STAY IN DA HOUSE... NOT REALLY DO MUCH"
witch, write a list of all the things you did during the pandemic. I bleeping dare you.
She waffles on about how she thinks the real you is still going to be there.
"YOU'VE PUT ON WEIGHT, IT'S A CASE OF ACCEPTING IT AND BEING LIKE... MEH" she shrugs "YEAH WOTEVA. COULDN'T HELP IT. PANDEMIC YO"
"OR IF IT REALLY REALLY BRINGS YOU DOWN, DO SUMFINK ABOUT IT!!!! SIMPLE AS!"
"IT'S TAKIN' CONTROL OF YERSELF, IT'S TAKING CONTROL OF THE SITUATION AND DOING SUMFINK ABOUT IT" (unless the situation is the pandemic then you can keep blaming that)
Says that you don't need to feel bad or guilty, it's happened, it's understandable.
"BUT EQUALLY IF YOU'RE REALLY REALLY REALLY BOVVERED, WE ALL HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE CHANGE"
Repeats that she dresses up to go to Tesco if she's had a week of wearing the same tit.
Says that she'll make an effort if she's had a tit week with her diet or not exercising enough
Q9. HOW DO YOU GET OVER SOMEONE WHO YOU WERE NEVER REALLY WIV IN THER FIRST PLACE?
She thinks this one is tricky, and that it's a feeling on longing and what could have been and that the lines have already blurred, she does a pouty exhale for some reason.
"LIFE'S TOO SHORT TA TA TA TA FINK... TO WONDER ALL THAT STUFF, CUZ I DIDN'T WORK OUT. NOW YOU MOVE FORWARD"
Says to find someone that it will go the full way with.
She looks bleeping high.
"HA KOONA MAR TAR TAR"
Q10. SHOULD YOU STAY IF YOU GET CHEATED ON TWO MUMPHS BEFORE YER WEDDING?
She yells.
"ABSOLUTELY NOT. CANCEL THE WEDDING. CANCEL THE WEDDING. DON'T GET MARRIED TO SUMONE JUST CUZ YOU GOT A WEDDIN' PLANNED AND YOU DON'T WANT TO LET PEOPLE DOWN AND YOU DON'T WANT TO LOSE MONEY YOU DON'T WANT TO SPEND YER LIFE WIV A CHEATER OH MY GOD... IM SO SORRY."
Q11. HOW TO BREAK UP WIV SUMONE? THEY ARE THE LOVELIEST PERSON BUT NOT FOR ME
Helga raises her eyebrows in glee as she says "I'VE BEEN THERE. I'VE BEEN THERE!"
Says you just got to do what's right for you and basically just do it. Cut the cord.
She can't believe the next Q.
Q12. MY BOYFRIEND HAS TOLD ME HE ISNT ATTRACTED TO ME SINCE GAINING LOCKDOWN WEIGHT AND NOW I DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE HAVING SEX OR BEING INTIMATE WITH HIM. WE BOTH LOVE EACH OTHER BUT HOW DO YOU STAY WITH SOMEONE WHO ISN'T ATTRACTED TO YOU?
Helga spends some time wiping her eyeshadow off her eyelids and muttering "oh my gosh"
"THAT'S bleeping tit. THAT'S SO bleeping tit FOR SOMEONE TO TELL YOU THEY'RE NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU BECAUSE YOU GAINED WEIGHT"
She stutters and splitters
"PFFFT. IF THAT WOZ ME I DON'T FINK I COULD BE WIV SUMONE THAT SED THAT TO ME, CUZ I WOULD BE WORRIED... FOR SUMONE... IM QUITE INSECURE SUMTIMES" she whispers
"AND I FINK... OVER FINK FINGS A LOT...."
"I DON'T FINK.... I COULD EVA TRUST THAT THE, THEY... UH..." she grimaces
"I DUN'T LIKE DAT. THAT MAKES ME FEEL REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE"
She says that must really affect this person's confidence and sex life because that's going to be going around in their head.... well of course it is, they told you in the bleeping question.
"CONVERSATION NEEDS TO BE HAD. I FINK. I DON'T FINK I CUD DEAL WIV DAT"
Q.13 I REALISE OVER LOCKDOWN THAT IVE TWO REAL FRIENDS HOW DO I GO ABOUT MAKING MORE?
"IT'S QUALITY OVA QUANTITY" Yells Helga
"JUST SAYIN'"
She says if you want more friends embark on a hobby that has a community where you can meet new people. She says she's met LOADS of people skating
"AND IT'S WELL RAAAAD"
Her eye roll and she stutters trying to talk about her group of friends, she says that they are very close-knit and she's okay with that.
Q14. I CAN'T STOP COMPARING MYSELF TO HIS EX
She says in a dramatic voice
"WELL, YER KNOW WOT? HE'S NOT WIV HIS EX ANYMORE... HE'S WIV YOOOOOU. HE'S WIV YOU FUR A REASON. HE'S ALSO NOT WIV HIS EX FUR A REASON. SO STOP"
"MOVE FORWARD"
Q15. MY MAN DOESN'T SEEM THAT INTERESTED IN SEX ANYMORE BUT IT'S ONLY BIN 4 MUMPHS. I ONLY SEE HIM ONCE A WEEK
"ASK HIM. JUST FLAT OUT ASK HIM 'DO YOU STILL WANNA HAVE SEX WIV ME? WOT'S GOING ON?' DON'T BE WASTING ANY TIIIIIIME"
Q16. SHOULD I UNINVITE MY BEST FRIEND TO MY WEDDING THAT HASNT RESPONDED TO ME FOR OVER A YEAR?
"FIRST OF ALL I WOULD SAY, IS EVERY FING OKAY? AND IF YOU DON'T GET A RESPONSE... I WOULD"
"THAT'S NOT VERY BEST FRIEND-Y"
"YOU DON'T WANT TO BE PAYIN' FOR SUMONES FOOD FOR THE DAY IF THEY'RE NOT GUNNA TALK TO YOU"
Q17. I'M DEALING WIV MAJOR HEARTBREAK, WOT'S YER STRATEGY TO FORGET THE BASTARD?
"UHHHH! LET.... FEEL THE FEELS! LET IT WASH OVER YOU THE FEELING OF FEELING SAD ABOUT HEARTBREAK BECAUSE IT SUCKS. bleeping SUCKS"
"IT ISN'T THE END OF DA WORLD. THERE ARE PLENTY MORE FISH IN DA SEA. AS AWFUL AS THAT SOUNDS. THERE ARE. LIFE GOES ON"
"DON'T LINGER, DON'T HOLD ON. JUST FOCUS ON YOU"
"DON'T WALLOW IN SELF PITY FOR TOO LONG"
"YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE WITH SOMEONE TO BE HAPPY... BUT IF YOU WANT SOMEONE... THERE'S GUNNA BE PLENTY OF THEM OUT THERE. PROMISE"
"I'VE HAD ENOUGH BOYFRIENDS TO KNOW MEHEHEHE!"
Q18. I'VE GOT A NEW JOB BUT WORRIED BOUT PEOPLE... AT WORK... TALKIN' ABOUT ME WEN IVE GONE
"WHO GIVES A duck?"
Er, this person does, Helga.
"IF THEY'VE LITERALLY GOT NUFFINK ELSE TO TALK ABOUT APART FROM YOU.... THAT'S THEIR ISSUE"
She keeps closing her eyes for long periods of time. I think she's boring herself.
"IT'S NOT YOU ISSUE IT'S THEM ISSUE" ....she slurs
"LET THEM TALK ABOUT YOU. WHO CARES? YOU... YOU'VE GONE. YOU'VE LEFT. YOU'VE STARTED A NEW JOURNEY"
They still might know people at the old workplace you bleeping ding bat.
Q19. HATE MY JOB, BUT IT PAYS REALLY WELL WOT SHOULD I DO?
"WELL IF IT PAYS REALLY WELL.... STICK WIV IT."
"BUT... L...LIKE... TRY N FINK OF SUM OVA FINGS....."
She falls asleep again
"SAVE SUM MONEY.... STICK WIV IT... SAVE SUM MUNEYYYY... FINK ABOUT WOT YOU WANNA DOOOO... WOTS GUNNA ACTUALLY MAKE YOU HAPPY"
"DON'T DO SUMFING FOR DA MUNEY... IF IT MAKES YOU MISERABLE"
"USE THEM NOW WHILE YOU'RE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT tit... AND THEN.... LEAVE"
Q20. I'M FEELING A BIT LOST AT THE MOMENT, ANY TIPS OR TRICKS TO FINDING YOURSELF AGAIN?
We just had this question, Helga.
She tells them to give themself space to "fink" and not put pressure on themselves. Things will naturally happen.
She goes on a rant about how there's pressure in having all your tit together in your 20s and 30s
Says her 20s was just her trying things out and making mistakes and figuring out what she wants to be
The dog bark and Helga rolls her eyes.
"OH GOD" She mumbles
She imitates the bark
"FIWL HAS A MASSIVE CAREER CHANGE AT 29...28..29 ... LIKE... DO YER... DO YER KNOW WOT I MEAN LIKE? IT'S ALL GUD"
Q21. GOT INTO A FIGHT WITH A DEAR FRIEND THAT I SAID... THAT SAID I KEEP PLAYIN' VICTIM WIV MY MENTAL HEALTH, WHICH HURT A LOT, BUT MAINLY COMIN' FROM HIM.... BUT I JUST WENT HAM ON HIM AND NOW I'M BLOCKED EVERYWHERE AND JUST DON'T GET ANY RESPONSE FROM HIM WHATSOEVER. JUST WANT TO TALK WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS FOR 10 YEARS AND I'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH HIM A COUPLE OF TIMES... KINDA FEELS LIKE I'VE LOST HIM FOR GOOD. THANK YOU FOR SORRY FOR... THANK YOU AND SORRY FOR ALL THE MESSAGES
Helga says to just give it time and see how it goes. Fallouts happen.
"TRY AND GET ON WIV YER LIFE AND WHEN THE TIME FEELS RIGHT TO DROP THEM A MESSAGE AND SAY CAN YOU HAV A CATCH-UP... WANNA TALK... THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR TOO LONG"
Says to have an honest and frank convo about how they're feeling...
The dogs keep yapping and she rolls her eyes as she is pissed off with the noise.
"STOP BARKING!" She yells.
She rambles on about how you should say that you want to rekindle the friendship. Blah blah blah.
"HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY"
"SOMETIMES... THOUGH... FRIENDSHIPS COME TO AN END... THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS"
She's finished now as she's been distracted by a satsuma that's been staring at her.
She's calling this episode #1 REBOOTED, and will do this once a "mumph"
"AT SUM POINT... OR 4 WEEKS FROM NOW I SHOULD IMAGINE...."
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Why is it so creepy to me that this is the first post of this woman’s that Helen has liked since March / 13 pictures have been posted since then. So she’s followed her for a while and must have seen so many of her posts come up on her feed, but only when she sees her doppelgänger does she like a photo. So bleeping conceited. Bet she’s jelly of that truffleshuffle PR too 
If those questions are genuine then I feel sorry for them, some seemed in genuine need of advice and they get absolute waffle. She could of at least looked vaguely interested in helping her subscribers with their problems.
I cannot with these comments on the agony video, WHICH ONE OF YOU IS IT???
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She kept alluding to josie not helping with cleaning and complained that josie ate "her" food. Then after she kicked her out she talked about josie's financial situation in a video.Can anyone fill us is on how she bitched about josie online? Completely missed that!!
Telling the world that josie eats everything, that she was the reason they had to get a cleaner and the only way to do this was to charge her more rent. When josie couldn’t and decided to move back home, Helen did a video of what happened and basically blamed josie for having a low paid job and again being the reason they needed a cleaner.Can anyone fill us is on how she bitched about josie online? Completely missed that!!
Utterly vile
- Status