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'Full time online lifestyle content creator'
I was wondering what her content is classed as these days. I'd just call it vapid consumerism. In pretty much every video she's either buying an obscene about of tit or talking about the stuff she's bought recently.
Recent purchases include:
Moxi skates (second pair of skates within 6 months)
£100 of Asda clothes
An ipad
A parasol
Lights/ trays/ candles and other shite for hosting in the garden
A shark vacuum cleaner
A steam mop
A Henry vacuum cleaner
A whole new skincare routine, plus a NEW new skincare routine to fix the new routine burning her face off
An air fryer
Skates, knee pads, helmet etc
Various plants etc from the garden centre
New frames for the gallery wall
An ASOS haul
'Gone are the days of hauls'- Helen Anderson 2021
I was wondering what her content is classed as these days. I'd just call it vapid consumerism. In pretty much every video she's either buying an obscene about of tit or talking about the stuff she's bought recently.
Recent purchases include:
Moxi skates (second pair of skates within 6 months)
£100 of Asda clothes
An ipad
A parasol
Lights/ trays/ candles and other shite for hosting in the garden
A shark vacuum cleaner
A steam mop
A Henry vacuum cleaner
A whole new skincare routine, plus a NEW new skincare routine to fix the new routine burning her face off
An air fryer
Skates, knee pads, helmet etc
Various plants etc from the garden centre
New frames for the gallery wall
An ASOS haul
'Gone are the days of hauls'- Helen Anderson 2021
I find her a most unattractive person. I hate those stupid reels of her wearing one crap outfit after another. And her style is like what I’d wear if I’d not done any washing for a month and was down to the last two mismatched items in the cupboard that everyone tells me don’t suit me!
They’re already talking about playing at festivals ? Do they realise that nobody is interested in a band that only released 2 songs ?!
Looking at that article @Lunamoon22 posted, it seems Ben is as lazy and deluded as Helen. Now things make more sense - he‘s just as big a twit as she is and that is why they are friends and colleagues.
I can imagine her gushing inappropriately about him to people, saying ‘he’s the boy version of me, if he was a girl he’d be me and if I was a boy I’d be him’
. I don’t know why Beth puts up with the pair of them.
I can imagine her gushing inappropriately about him to people, saying ‘he’s the boy version of me, if he was a girl he’d be me and if I was a boy I’d be him’
. I don’t know why Beth puts up with the pair of them.They'll probably just show up and flog merch rather than playing any music
I genuinely don’t think they do. I wonder how long it will be before Helga drops this project?!
Current fashion faves? But these are all the items you have been wearing for the past 18 months Helga!
Black Deer lost a lot of their big bands because of COVID and are now scraping the barrel for acts, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they end up playing there. They will certainly not be on the main stage though.
I have such a hatred of those white boots from top shop she always wears - they are so unflattering for her I’m her height and even I know they make my legs look like stumps of ham!
I’ve figured out why she’s obsessed with that hideous pleather shacket - it’s because her expensive All Saints biker jacket no longer fits her, isn’t it?!
VIDEO SUMMARY: Fashion Faves & New In
[DESCRIPTON: Here are some super great things that I've really enjoyed wearing recently....]
TLDR:
SHE'S DOING HAULS AGAIN BUT IS DESPERATELY TRYING TO NOT CALL THEM HAULS... BUT THEY'RE HAULS.
SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE'S ON SOMETHING IN THIS VIDEO
SHE'S STILL CLAIMING SHE'S A SIZE 14
[DESCRIPTON: Here are some super great things that I've really enjoyed wearing recently....]
TLDR:
SHE'S DOING HAULS AGAIN BUT IS DESPERATELY TRYING TO NOT CALL THEM HAULS... BUT THEY'RE HAULS.
SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE'S ON SOMETHING IN THIS VIDEO
SHE'S STILL CLAIMING SHE'S A SIZE 14
It's Helga KettleVision again, this time with the bum mug teehee hee
"I'm really hopin' these kettle starts don't become boring because, to be honest... startin' a video wiv a tea or a coffee that's the way forward for me"
(she's clearly read Tattle as that was commented about just recently!)
She thought it would be "quite KEWL" to talk about some fashion favs new in
"IT'S NOT A HAUL!" She says... but it is a haul.
"I MEAN I GOT A FEW NEW BITS RECENTLY..."
She mentions that roadworks going on outside her house and how she's made a friend with one of the workers
"HE'S QUITE FIT!" She whispers "HE LOOKS A BIT LIKE A PIRATE!"
"I WONDER IF HE CAN HEAR ME? HELLOOOOOO"
She then rambles on about the weather and how it's been sunny, warm but cold and bleak with hail and "weird stuff"
She's a big fan of her current outfit: long shirts under short shirts
"YER GET ME"
She got some more ASDA jeans
"IF YOU SAW MY MOST RECENT... I DID A DID FUNNY HAUL FING"
She got this new pair today
"THEY GOT LOADS OF ROOM! I'M A SIZE 14 AND THEY JUST FIT LIKE A DREAM"
She says that's her first favourites... even though she's spoken about them before
"I'M RAVING! I'M RAVING FOR IT!!"
"LET'S GET INVOLVED IN SOME OF THE OTHER STUFF I'VE REEEEEEALLY ENJOYED"
First up is a BAND plug. Of course, it is.
She says with a weird gasp that the t-shirts all sold out
She's absolutely bamboozled by this.... why though? She got what... 100 t-shirts?
She's shocked that people were that reactive.
Her eyes go really weird again.
She gives out information about the pre-order... (which is false info because she said earlier today that she had to cancel all the pre-orders.... why couldn't she edit this part out?)
She gushes on about her t-shirt
She says the shirt looks like it has "ALMOST A FIBROUS LOOK TO IT... ALMOST LIKE THE PAPER THAT THE PRINTS WERE... YEAH FIBRE FILLED"
She was impressed by the collar - although the one she's showing us is a bit dirty as she's been wearing it for the last 2 days....
"IT SEYZ RELAX BE KEWL"
Says that its sustainably sourced, eco friendly and "ALL THE GOOD STUFF"
"WHEN PEOPLE PURCHASE T-SHIRTS IT REALLY HELPS US WIV CREATING MORE MUSIC... BECAUSE MUSIC INDUSTRY IS HARD, MAN"
"SELLIN' MERCH N SUPPORTIN' ARTISTS N WORKING N COLLABORATIN' WIV PEOPLE NOT ONLY SUPPORTS US BUT OVVA PEOPLE... IT'S JUST AN ALL-ROUND... KEWL.... FFF.... ART.... SUPPORT....TING.....FING..... " she says... as she pulls weird faces trying to convince us.
She's got another t-shirt from the super sustainable NASTY GAL website
It's a Def Leppard t-shirt!
"BUT TO BE HONEST.... MY LITTLE HACK...."
She says while showing off her bra
"I GET A SPORTS BRA... OR A LARGER TYPE OF BRA..."
She stuffs the shirt into her bra
Next fav is her cardigan.
She's worn it every day for the past month
"ANOVA FING I BIN WEARIN' THE tit OUT OVV IS LEVIS.... NO, IT'S TOMMY HILFIGER MY ONE!!!! IT'S VINTAGE!!!!"
It's her denim gilet
She's got some pins on there and she got a matching heart lock and key one with Fiwl.
"CORNY.... GOD I WANT TO MAKE MYSELF VOMIT"
The brand that sent Fiwl his huge box of t-shirts and other goodies also sent Helga a bunch of goodies (so add 13 Supply on the list of brands to avoid people!!!!)
Next is her Homer Simpson MuuMuu...
It's got a toothpaste stain down the front of it....
She never used to like green "I WASN'T BOVVERED BY IT"
She pulls an inside out bodysuit from her drawers and tells us she loves it before shoving it back in there without folding it up
"DON'T WATCH HOW I PUT MY CLOVES AWAY!!!" ....ok, just don't edit it in then...
Next are the white boots, which are caked in mud... she starts to wipe it off with her ham slab
"THEY'RE A BIT MUDDY COZ I WOZ TAKIN' PRODUCT FOTOS IN DA WOOOOODS" she lets out a wheezy laugh
"OH MY GOD, I CAN'T WAIT TO WEAR THESE!!!!" ...what is she talking about...? She already wears them....
She complains about getting mud all over the floor.
"AW YEAH... THIS COMBO.... HI, I'M GOING OUT NOW, I'M LEAVING THE HOUSE BECAUSE FINGS ARE OPENIN' AND I AM EXCITED TO SOCIALIZE AGAIN"
As if the witch hasn't been socialising already...
Cut to another outfit and Helga looking out the window
"IS FIWL HOME???" She pines
"FIWLS HOME!!!" She shrieks into the mic
Dat side boob fall out... girl, you need to size up that top!
Oh, she says it's her bra...
These faces and poses today... she's got to be on something.
"THIS IS MA BRA... THIS IS MA BRA...... ER.... LLLLLLL....ER...... YER WELCOME.... ASOS"
Her skirt is another Nasty Gal purchase
Says it's silk and is nervous with silk because it can glue itself to her body... she squeezes and pulls her gunt up to show us....
"AND YER JUST LIKE *GASSSSSP*"
"STOP IT!!!"
She's a big fan of it.
"HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She yells to Fiwl
Cut to an empty room and as we hear Helga breathing deep in the other room
"HI MR BEAR!" She says, desperately trying to stop the Kirby Egg nickname from happening
We hear a gross smooch and now she's back
"STANDARD HELEN ANDERSON OUTFIT!" She tells herself.
She waddles out the door because quality over quantity Quirkerz has forgotten the next item - her coat
She's back and out of breath as she models this outfit...
She says this is a bit different for her because she usually wears denim or "levva" jackets
"OR FUR COATS!"
Next, she's coming through the door with "FLARES, FLARES, FLARES!"
She got these from Nasty Gal (I'm guessing she's been dropped by ASOS now)
She goes to grab the other pair of flares she got from Nasty Gal
Next are her converse shoes which she says we might have already seen on here
These are her "LEVVA ONES"
She's gone out of the room again to grab her next favourite... is it really so difficult to have this tit organised and in the same room that you're filming in already?
It's a leopard print dress and she tries to shove the hanger up her nose
"PERFECT FOR SUMMER... AND SPRING" She tries to stick her face through now
She's going on yet again about her bleeping hoops. Now she's got some snake earrings.
And lastly... duck me I got distracted by that bald spot...
Lastly, she was on Amazon cos her washing line broke (how many washing lines does she go through?!) she went down a rabbit hole of laundry accessories and she's found a space saver for her wardrobe
She looks very confused by it...
It's just a hanger.
"IT DOES THIS FING WHERE IT MAKES THEM... DO THAT??? IM INTRIGUED BY THIS..."
"I'LL GIVE YOU A REAL.... SEE HOW WE GET ON WIV IT THEN I'LL LET YOU KNOW.. I'LL SEE HOW I, I'LL SEE, I'LL GET ON WIV IT AND THEN I'LL LET YOU KNOW"
She gets distracted by Fiwl breaking for freedom
"IS HE MOVIN' HIS VAN OR IS HE RUNNIN' AWAY FROM ME?"
(RUN FIWL RUNNNNNN!)
Her face...
"ANYWAY"
"THAT WOZ IT... HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT.... NICE TO SSSSSS...SPEAK TO YER"
Her eyes keep going really weird...
She blinks slowly...
"FANKS FOR CHECKIN IN, FAREWELL...."
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If my partner was a singer and was writing songs like this I'd be questioning our relationship... 1 song about an ex, MAYBE, but 2 in succession?! Nope!
Christ. If she’s a size 14 I’m a bleeping supermodel.
That t-shirt "hack" looks absolutely tit 
I love that she says she does that hack with bigger bras... Yet her tiny tits are somehow spilling out the side of the one she's wearing because she refuses to size upThat t-shirt "hack" looks absolutely tit
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