Harry and Meghan #304 Harry is one sausage short of a breakfast.

[Meemew]

What Friends? Do either of them actually HAVE friends from what I have seen with the exception of Nacho Harry has Zero friends and I truly think Meghan Markle has Never Truly had any friends just acquaintances. I honestly don’t think either one of them actually have the capacity for friendship.

Harry had friends but Smegs got rid of them. They could clearly see her for what she was and didn’t want to be around her.

With Smegs I think everyone gets the heebie jeebies and backs away slowly.

 

[Ndrangheta]

I know I probably shouldn't have raised the subject of the thinness of the Princess of Wales, but the photo of that orange dress with the black belt did concern me.

She looked fit as a fiddle to me. I think society has been partly conditioned to expect everyone to be overweight. Obviously, I'm no dietician so don't take what I say as expert opinion!

 

[TickTickTick]

Off topic: YEAH What's up w that??? Any Kiwi Tattlers have any porridge on why such a last minute decision? Isn't the election next week?
On topic: Welcome to the thread new users and remember it's *always* Ashley Cole's fault. And the Sixes are still lying delusional twats.
I'm not buying eggs or lettuce at the moment just making plans for July when we're back in the UK. Can't wait. Why oh why would anyone be so stupid

Kiwi here, JA resigning came as a big surprise to me, not that I am in the know. I tried to find some goss but no luck. She said she had run of gas in the tank. Well, fuel prices will cause that! Election here is not until October.

She did try to avoid the gruesome pair recently I think? Maybe she tried to Markle them after sniffing the wind changing, and got out-Markled.

People say there's a nice WEF job or similar waiting for her, I imagine that's true, she's got that liberal Kennedy-esque gloss. She makes me think of Trudeau, I don't find it appealing.

 

[Dooley Doo]

Oh right, someone said it was £60k.
But no matter...

I get that she wants to expose how the family has been treated - and to that extent the money is irrelevant (as to some extent is the legal aspects of the court case) - but I still think she needs to be careful.

Particularly if she widens the case too much.

I think someone has rounded the amount. £60,000 is over $73,000 USD. One thousand and something short.

 

[elliebee27]

I had a dream last night that I drove past the Montecito sign and instead it was called Monteshithow

I blame you all!!!

 

[Meemew]

"Therapy wasn't going well. I was sleeping in the coffin again. Even with the lid screwed down I could still hear the voices - mocking me, taunting me - and worse my dreams were tormented with sexual thoughts of Willy and Kate. I needed to do something.

I needed to remove the bug from William's bedroom.

The British Press was no better. One minute they were praising me for my role in Operation Crimson Eagle - my gunnery skills had excelled, and my actions had really made a difference to the war in Afghanistan. The next they taunted me with gruesome stories of a serial killer at a place called Gila Bend in Arizona. The chap was a monster. He took trophies from his victims - he cut off their ear. The Mail, of course - being the absolute worst of the tabloid British Press - had a picture of the location where latest victim had been found. I looked at the bleak desert, the high mountains, the adobe houses with their swimming pools, it reminded me so much of Afghanistan.

I needed to get out.

Chelsy was in Leeds. And I hadn't met Cress yet... so I rang Florence - code-name Flea - to protect her from the British Press - who I now remember was my girlfriend at the time. She was everything I ever wanted in a girlfriend - fun, a bit of a goer, and nothing like my mother.

She reminded me that we didn't meet until after Willy's wedding and not to call her again as we would break up because of the British Press.

So it turns out... I was actually on exercise, with the army, on Dartmoor.

Dartmoor, the very name filled me with dread. Home to the Yorkshire Ripper, famous for a glowing dog, and infamous in the army for the toughness of the training. But I was ready. I had been here before. Willy and I had spent our summers with Uncle Jimmy's mummy. If I could cope the horror of mummy and Uncle Jimmy flirting at breakfast, I could cope with anything special forces might throw at me.

Chelsy wasn't in Leeds. She called round. She'd been at the ceremony when I got my wings. I must have impressed her because unlike every other girl I had ever tried it on with, she was neither on the blob or requiring large quantities of Stolly to get her paralytic. In fact she was very forward. Called me the 'Stallion Who Mounts the World' - some book she'd read, apparently. This excited me enormously. But before I could get half in or half out, Chelsy pushed me away.

"What is that?" she demanded. "It's never happened before." I replied, grabbing a cushion to hide the speaker. "Where's it coming from?" I thrust the cushion over it, and sat on it: smothering the sound with my full body-weight. My todger lost it's ardour. As did Chels. "That sounds like Kate." "It'll be the gardener," I explained, "he's always watching porn when he mows the grass." "It is," continued Chelsy, scrambling to retrieve her clothes, "It is, it's Kate." "It isn't," I cried, impotently beating at the cushion to make the noise stop. "Why are you punching yourself in the dick?" "My therapist told me to." "You're mad!" "I'm madly in love with you." "We're finished." "I chucked you first."

The universe conspired against me as the slam of my front door coincided with Kate's orgasmic crying of, "My King, my King. Take me like Rachel Zane in Suits."

Dartmoor - rock, wind and sheep. A hard place for hard men.

Scotch Billy worked us hard. Three days and three nights without sleep, with nothing to eat but Linda McCartney sausage rolls, and nothing to drink but the sweat from our socks. Lesser men couldn't take it. But not me. I'd walked behind my mother's coffin, shaken the wet hands of the crowd, if the British Press couldn't break me: nothing could.

I had my mother with me too. When my pack grew heavy, I would feel her behind me, lifting it - the straps no longer biting my shoulders. "Thank you mummy," I would whisper. When my circumcised, and tender, todger chaffed within my sweat sodden keks, I would smell the scent I had so often smelled upon mummys lips, and think of Catherine crying out to Rachel Zane....

By the final check-point we were exhausted. But Scotch Billy wasn't done with us yet. As we slumped delirious around a cow-shed, he tossed a sack into our midst, and said, "enjoy your reward ladies." Inside we found a selection of large and murderous knives, a mallet, and a rolling pin made from a frozen wine bottle - a selection of tinned stewed meat, ready to roll pastry, and for those who wanted stale bread croutons - a packet of stuffing. Our helmet's would act as pie tins.

How I got there, or where I was, I can't say. But the light which shone into my face was blinding. I felt a trickle of blood ooze from my broken lower lip. I was naked. My old chap shriveled like a slug in sunlight. My hands were cuffed behind my back. Squeezing my anus I felt a reassuring twitch from the little fellow. A woman's face pressed into mine - imperious, disapproving, disappointed - "no one wants to nibble your nuts," she sneered. "My penis has been the subject of much interest in the British Press," I retorted. "It doesn't fill many column inches I see."

They were trying to break me.

The British Press had been more thorough than I thought, for she knew things about me that not even my family knew. Like my peeping at Zara, my blinding a horse, the letter I wrote to Dear Diedre about my erotic feelings for Pat - but did not send. Nothing was off limits. It all went way beyond the Geneva Convention.

Two other men broke under the strain. They went completely mad.

But I am a warrior - a man - I am the Stallion Who Mounts the Earth - I am Rachel Zane."

Exceptional Wibble, please get this published

 

[Angeoudemon]

She only borrowed it from Garrard and it's pretty fugly IMO.

Mind you, the funniest was when Meghan bought replica earrings from the Buckingham Palace shop to pretend they were gifts from the Queen at her funeral.
Nothing will ever be funnier than that.

She did????

 

[Meemew]

LOL, prat. Has she got a boyfriend / girlfriend yet? Girl needs to chill out.

This was on the Daily Heil today ... not sure why the head of ITV has a fly up her arse and is a fan of Markle. ITV pumps-out some of the most divisive horrible shite on the planet, plus has equally awful presenters (Scholfield, Ross, etc.).


View attachment 1893804

She’ll be Markled soon enough

 

[Mock Turtle]

No, she hasn’t. She used to be very athletic and muscular… look at pictures of her in her earthly to late twenties. now since she was engaged she has basically been a skeleton if she hasn’t been pregnant.

She’s still incredibly muscled and fit:

She’s got the entire world judging her body constantly. She can’t win whether she is overweight or underweight. Press commented when her face was rounder each time while pregnant and mentioned her post partum belly at H&M’s wedding. It would make anyone self consciously work to stay fit. I think she’s naturally slim and works hard to stay in peak condition. Good for her! Women’s bodies are all lovely, whatever their size and shape. Catherine looks amazing and chooses clothes that showcase it.

 

[Dooley Doo]

No but she was in that Love to Lead thing the Harkles cobbled together to pad out their twelve program deal with Netflix.

As was Greta, who staged her own arrest yesterday... apparently.

I think someone else put the Love To Lead together and it was shelved. Somehow the gruesomes got it and did the intro.

Ardern was not happy being included as the gruesomes were not involved when the series was put together.

I am sure there was an article about it on a previous thread.

 

[elliebee27]

She’s still incredibly muscled and fit:
View attachment 1893826She’s got the entire world judging her body constantly. She can’t win whether she is overweight or underweight. Press commented when her face was rounder each time while pregnant and mentioned her post partum belly at H&M’s wedding. It would make anyone self consciously work to stay fit. I think she’s naturally slim and works hard to stay in peak condition. Good for her! Women’s bodies are all lovely, whatever their size and shape. Catherine looks amazing and chooses clothes that showcase it.

I don’t agree at all, but OK. She scares me and I worry for her.

 

[Murphy Brown]

For anyone who didn't see it, Meghan sent out PR releases suggesting the Queen left her her favourite pair of earrings:

Small Pearl Earrings (royalcollectionshop.co.uk)

Queen Funeral: Meghan Markle Wore Earrings Gifted by Late Monarch (insider.com)

Like the Queen would have willingly given her anything other than an uppercut.

 

[Ndrangheta]

Women’s bodies are all lovely, whatever their size and shape.

Meghan's million dollar legs don't do it for me, personally. But I'm sure Hazno finds them very nice.

 

[elliebee27]

For anyone who didn't see it, Meghan sent out PR releases suggesting the Queen left her her favourite pair of earrings:

Small Pearl Earrings (royalcollectionshop.co.uk)

Queen Funeral: Meghan Markle Wore Earrings Gifted by Late Monarch (insider.com)

Like the Queen would have willingly given her anything other than an uppercut.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the queen did gift her some tiny earrings. Probably wanting to be kind to Meghan in the beginning.

 

[neroli]

So Moehringer has a tweet of the book with something about "just good literature"....one of the comments
Glad my kids are towards the end of the education system cos there's no way mine would study that piece of tit


View attachment 1892798

Future GCSE exam question...Discuss the theme of ice in the Duke's memoir and the role the Royal member plays in the book's essential message

 

[Fatpiggy]

Brilliant!

But if no-one else is going to grab it:

Harry and Meghan #305 The Prince and the Penis

Blackadder it up: The Prince and the penis and the porpoise. Xx

 

[Mock Turtle]

Meghan's million dollar legs don't do it for me, personally. But I'm sure Hazno finds them very nice.

Smeg’s problem isn’t her actual body - it’s the awful inappropriate stuff she chooses to cover it with!

 

[Vanelope]

I liked the note from the MIG that that conversion was closed and will not reopen. We can speculate that KC is probably exasperated, worried, angry and fearful about what his son is doing, but they all have more important things to be dealing with.

For anyone who didn't see it, Meghan sent out PR releases suggesting the Queen left her her favourite pair of earrings:

Small Pearl Earrings (royalcollectionshop.co.uk)

Queen Funeral: Meghan Markle Wore Earrings Gifted by Late Monarch (insider.com)

Like the Queen would have willingly given her anything other than an uppercut.

That is absolutely hysterical. She’s such a fraud. I wonder when the last time the queen was photographed wearing them, I’m sure it would be after the last time Meghan had seen her.

 

[soph30]

actress, entrepreneur, activist..

 

[Scarlett O' Hara]

She’s still incredibly muscled and fit:
View attachment 1893826She’s got the entire world judging her body constantly. She can’t win whether she is overweight or underweight. Press commented when her face was rounder each time while pregnant and mentioned her post partum belly at H&M’s wedding. It would make anyone self consciously work to stay fit. I think she’s naturally slim and works hard to stay in peak condition. Good for her! Women’s bodies are all lovely, whatever their size and shape. Catherine looks amazing and chooses clothes that showcase it.

BIB I disagree with this, however I do agree the Princess of Wales is gorgeous and looks healthy to me.