So here goes ....... Was seeing someone on & off for a year and a half & would say I did love him . Lots of things tested our relationship mainly caused by him , exes texting him , sending sexual texts to other women , could turn nasty sometimes , wasn’t particularly good with my kids , bit lazy , paid no money to help with bills although he practically lived with me ....... I could go on . It’s finally come to a definite end & although it wasn’t right , I miss him terribly , just little things like sharing a bed , hate coming home to an empty house , especially when my kids are with their dad . I miss the little texts throughout the day . I don’t want him but I can’t bare the thought of him with someone else . I’ve not eaten properly since the split & my sleeping isn’t great , just feel sick to my stomach constantly, how do I change my way of thinking , I’ve never been through a break up like this before .
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first off he sounds like a total twit so I think you are well rid of him!!!!!
you need to work on yourself now. Build yourself back up with him or any other man. It sounds like you miss the idea of being in a relationship rather than him as a person so draw a line under him, it’s done, and start to explore your relationship with yourself and what it is you want out of life - not just romantically. Write it down - things you want to achieve, things you want to change, interests you have and start to work on them. Little steps, moving forward with your own life.
You will meet someone new, in time with its right but for now focus on yourself.
Can’t totally relate to how you feel - I was dumped, out of the blue, in April after a 4 year relationship. I’ve questioned myself so many times if it was my fault, what could have been etc... it just isn’t worth the mental torture. Something inside me still pings when I see someone with his name on TV/Radio, seeing couples on TV... it’s still very raw but I know deep down it was meant to happen this way and better things are coming. Don’t get me wrong, it’s only recently I’ve felt like this. I was a crying mess for weeks/months, not sleeping/eating/or even showering.
The best thing I could advise is to take each day as it comes, try and look at each day as another day closer to feeling happier, and really focus on yourself and your kids x
The best thing I could advise is to take each day as it comes, try and look at each day as another day closer to feeling happier, and really focus on yourself and your kids x
Aw thankyou . I know deep down it’s for the best , I just worry now about being on my own forever , will I ever meet anyone right for me . And I think I just need reassurance that I won’t feel this way forever . When I split with my husband (father of my kids) it was so different , we split amicably I had time to process it & we still get on well for the kids now . I’ve just never dealt with these feelings before
Honestly it just takes time. Just keep thinking of the bad points to him and before you know it you will wonder why you ever liked him.
This time last year I was heartbroken and crying in the bath (lol) but I’m now happier than ever. I’ve learnt a lot about myself this year and I would never settle for what I did.
This time last year I was heartbroken and crying in the bath (lol) but I’m now happier than ever. I’ve learnt a lot about myself this year and I would never settle for what I did.
You really sound like you miss the idea of a boyfriend, rather than actually missing him.
He sounds like a complete twit who has taken advantage of you because he knows you feel like you need someone.
Be single for a while, work out what you really want in life, what’s important to you, what you want from a partner. Honestly the thought of being single is so much worse than actually being single! It’s much more lonely being in a tit dead end relationship with a loser than being by yourself and focusing on you. It will take a bit of time but I promise you’ll feel better for it x
He sounds like a complete twit who has taken advantage of you because he knows you feel like you need someone.
Be single for a while, work out what you really want in life, what’s important to you, what you want from a partner. Honestly the thought of being single is so much worse than actually being single! It’s much more lonely being in a tit dead end relationship with a loser than being by yourself and focusing on you. It will take a bit of time but I promise you’ll feel better for it x
I don’t have any advice because I’m in a similar boat myself but I feel your pain and I’m wishing you a quick moving on period. Like the others have said, it takes time; I’m such a believer in the idea that you have to just experience the emotions to fully get through it and move on - stuffing the emotions down will just prolong it because it all has to come out eventually.
Sending you love and hope you have lots of support around you.
Sending you love and hope you have lots of support around you.
I was about to post the same thing. Sharing a bed? Someone to come home to? With all due respect, you could get a dog (or cat) for that.
Ohhhh I so know how you feel. And it feels like it’ll never end. But the good news is, it will, eventually. Sadly the only real guaranteed healer is time, but you can use the time you now have to yourself to try and practice “self-care” and healing. And if that self care sometimes involves a bottle of wine in the bath, then do it 
I was in your position last year and I felt so so so sad at points. I had never experienced it before. But I read loads and went to classes and saw friends and used it as a chance for reflection and growth and I’m so much happier now 🥲
it’ll get easier week by week, and eventually you won’t believe that you ever thought of him every day. Promise x
Oh and to echo other posters’ sentiments, it does sound like it’s not really him that you miss — it’s the company/idea of a boyfriend. Your actual person is out there somewhere and he’s heaps better than this one!
I was in your position last year and I felt so so so sad at points. I had never experienced it before. But I read loads and went to classes and saw friends and used it as a chance for reflection and growth and I’m so much happier now 🥲
it’ll get easier week by week, and eventually you won’t believe that you ever thought of him every day. Promise x
Oh and to echo other posters’ sentiments, it does sound like it’s not really him that you miss — it’s the company/idea of a boyfriend. Your actual person is out there somewhere and he’s heaps better than this one!
I can’t wait till the day I don’t think about him or wonder what he’s doing every second of the day .......... it’s still very raw , I think because of how it ended aswell , I need a bit more closure but we won’t have contact now . I’ll just learn to live with it . I do have a busy life & im fine when I’m busy , just the loneliness kicks in when I’m then home by myself . But your all right , he caused me more stress when we were together , in some ways it’s like a weight has been lifted . But to spend everyday for 18 months with someone then one day they are just gone , I’m going to miss him x
, and to be fair she’s much better company
I’ve got a dog
, and to be fair she’s much better companyOh god, SAME. Their name, place they were born, place they work, a top they had, etc. It’s torture! And the couples thing too. In TV and real life
Thank you for saying that. I thought I was the only one.To the OP, I totally get the thing about missing someone being around. Having a dog will help loads I’m sure! But the experience you’re going through is rough so I feel your pain. It will pass, but it’s tit at the time. Sending hugs and good vibes.
I was out yesterday & saw a guy with the same coat as him, had to double take and my heart went in my mouth! It’s such a tit feeling to get over!Oh god, SAME. Their name, place they were born, place they work, a top they had, etc. It’s torture! And the couples thing too. In TV and real life
He sounds absolutely bloody awful, even one of those things should have been reason to get rid of him. I think work on your self esteem and look at why you put up with such an utter oaf in the first place?
You will get over it and when you meet someone else, if they do any of those listed things once then get rid of them straight away.
You will get over it and when you meet someone else, if they do any of those listed things once then get rid of them straight away.
I went through a particularly bad break up end of 2015, it sort of came out of nowhere and I was a complete mess! We had been together about 4 years. I wasn't eating, sleeping, I would just lie in bed all day. Had such bad anxiety and needed to go off on sick leave for a long time. I would continually text him, try and find out if he was seeing other people etc. He would always respond too which made it worse as I then felt we could work it out. It was as if I couldn't function. I even went out with my friend for drinks to take my mind off him but sat at the bar crying and loads of random girls just kept hugging me! Honestly, the only thing that really helps is TIME, it truly is a healer... I was so scared I would never, ever get over him. Even walking past places we went together would put a lump in my throat... It took months! But I started to feel happier... obviously as soon as I was in a better place he came back on the scene lol.. we got back together briefly but the damage was done and we broke up for good. I was much stronger then to deal with it, i wasn't so reliant on him for happiness. I had always just been remembering the good times, never remembered the arguments or how he would only want to spend time with me on weekends, never during the week, He would complain if I hadn't done his housework. Call me horrible names etc. I need to remember his new GF will be getting all his tit now!
If you find yourself checking his social media etc then block him... I used to torture myself with that.
Getting over an Ex is easily one of the hardest things I have ever done. Don't be too hard on yourself & take the time to get yourself into a happy place without relying on someone else for that happiness.
There is someone out there for you! I met my current partner of 2.5 yrs when I was least expecting to.. It happens.. what will be will be x
If you find yourself checking his social media etc then block him... I used to torture myself with that.
Getting over an Ex is easily one of the hardest things I have ever done. Don't be too hard on yourself & take the time to get yourself into a happy place without relying on someone else for that happiness.
There is someone out there for you! I met my current partner of 2.5 yrs when I was least expecting to.. It happens.. what will be will be x
Thank you , I really needed to hear this , the thought of him with someone else makes me feel sick , but your right , they will just have to put up with it all instead . I didn’t let him do what he wanted , think I’ve come across a bit of a mug , but I didn’t I did bring stuff up a lot & he’d change for a bit , but I think that was more the problem I couldn’t change him from the man he was & ive not got the character to be a pushover I’m too strong minded , he needs someone a bit less strong willed who will put up with his tit .
It’s not even been 2 weeks so I think I’m just being impatient , just wish I could erase my memory , how easy would that be !! Or turn back time & never had replied to his DM x
O
Oaf
. I know I could kick myself , when he’s not at mine he slept on his mums sofa lol . I read it back and think what was I thinkingI was awful, I was literally reading forums and online advice etc on how to cope with giving him space, how to move on, how to get him back etc it was so bad, everyday would be like fresh pain as I would get a few hours sleep if I were lucky and then wake up and think about him all over again. The thought of him so much as even getting to know another person made me so ill and I missed him so much... When i found out he was going for drinks with a girl he told me was always just his friend i honestly felt as if the bottom fell out of my world, felt unfair i was there crying and breaking my heart over him and he was there getting on with his life with no cares in the world.
I even had to see a counsellor to talk it all through but I walked out of 6 weeks counselling feeling not miraculously cured but much more positive and happier in myself compared to the crying mess that walked in.. But i had very bad anxiety on top of this break up as was and I wasn't really a very strong girl in general.
But it really does get better and I mean that. I think sometimes heartbreak can be good for us, it gives us life lessons and we never forget the pain but we do come out stronger.
I actually met someone emotionally abusive a while after him, about 6 months later, who i saw on and off for a while but it was very toxic in many, many ways! Actually still contacts me now and again to just verbally abuse me, weird guy... So be careful that you don't just jump into something with someone else in the hope it will help you get over your ex quicker. Take the time to work on yourself, focus on your happiness
Get yourself into a good place. You will meet someone worthy of you, maybe not today or next month, maybe not even next year but you will, and you will be much stronger for it.. xTime is best healer. It sometimes pops into my head the thought of him dating (even though we’re in lockdown/tier 3) but I think to myself, I’ll be doing the same one day. It’s just life, things end, things start. Don’t get me wrong, it’s taken me months to get to this mindset and I have bad days but again, time has helped me immensely.I was awful, I was literally reading forums and online advice etc on how to cope with giving him space, how to move on, how to get him back etc it was so bad, everyday would be like fresh pain as I would get a few hours sleep if I were lucky and then wake up and think about him all over again. The thought of him so much as even getting to know another person made me so ill and I missed him so much... When i found out he was going for drinks with a girl he told me was always just his friend i honestly felt as if the bottom fell out of my world, felt unfair i was there crying and breaking my heart over him and he was there getting on with his life with no cares in the world.
I even had to see a counsellor to talk it all through but I walked out of 6 weeks counselling feeling not miraculously cured but much more positive and happier in myself compared to the crying mess that walked in.. But i had very bad anxiety on top of this break up as was and I wasn't really a very strong girl in general.
But it really does get better and I mean that. I think sometimes heartbreak can be good for us, it gives us life lessons and we never forget the pain but we do come out stronger.
I actually met someone emotionally abusive a while after him, about 6 months later, who i saw on and off for a while but it was very toxic in many, many ways! Actually still contacts me now and again to just verbally abuse me, weird guy... So be careful that you don't just jump into something with someone else in the hope it will help you get over your ex quicker. Take the time to work on yourself, focus on your happiness
Someone said in the thread said about liking the idea of a partner rather than the actual partner - I’m like this I feel. This is my first Christmas single (not that we can all do much this year!) and my birthday is in January, Valentine’s Day
. Spending them all single after years of spending it with your other half is going to be tricky.Much love to OP and anyone else going through any heartache this time of year x
Oh my. This is me right now. I broke up with my boyfriend at the weekend and I can’t stop thinking about him I spend my entire day checking to see if he’s online ... I need to get out of my own head
I spend my entire day checking to see if he’s online ... I need to get out of my own head Read back what you wrote about him. You lose nothing by having him gone, a man that texts other women and made little effort with your kids? I think you will feel embarrassed by him once you get over it.
I wouldn’t even think about him moving on because chances are he will need somewhere else to stay by the end of the week and will shack up with anyone willing. Men like this are users.
I wouldn’t even think about him moving on because chances are he will need somewhere else to stay by the end of the week and will shack up with anyone willing. Men like this are users.
Just those two are reasons not to be with him.