Gender discussions

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Lost another FB friend but gained another friend private messaging me that she also wanted to share support for JK but is too scared.
This is so sad 🙁

I'm from Ireland so in recent years we've had the referendums on both marriage equality and abortions rights. I'm unreservedly pro-gay marriage and pro-choice, but I had quite a few friends on FB who were vocally opposite. I heavily disagreed with their opinions but I didn't put my fingers in my ears and go la la la and unfriend them. I'm confident enough in my beliefs that I can defend them, why can't they?
I have this problem with people who voted for Brexit. I would post something on my feed, they would then pipe up and say something and when I tried to engage with them and explained my opinion was told "you lost get over it". Er mate you commented on MY feed, if you didn't want to engage in an adult discussion don't say anything!
 
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We’re all in this together ❤ Its tragic that we’ve got to the point where all these radical trans right activists have so much power and control they feel the need to eradicate our free speech but I’m so happy I found this forum online - I don’t feel so alone anymore after being called transphobic many a time in my own friendship group and I can only hope that one day they will have the maturity to turn around and will listen to our concerns in a hope to find peace
 
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Yay glad to have you here! It's extremely comforting to have this space.
Why do they think they deserve to be heard when they say JKR doesn't deserve to be heard? Unlike them she clearly put time and effort into her essay, and it was extremely compassionate and tactful. Everyone else on my FB seems to be too afraid to get involved one way or the other, except for one guy who liked my posts and private messaged me. He's echoing everything we've been saying here. I truly believe most people feel this way but are too terrified to speak up.
Thank you! It means a lot to be welcome here, I'm so glad this space exists. It's good a couple of your friends have messaged you agreeing - it#s awful that they can't say what they think without fear.

All the people saying J.K doesn't deserve to be heard is because they can't distil her clear, nuanced post into something that makes her the bad guy. Far easier just to cancel her and tell others not to listen.

I think its disappointing that men are commenting on what is primarily a woman's issue, the discussions being had do not affect men in they way they affect women.

I'm not saying they can't add to the discussion but they have not had the same experiences as women. In the same vein I don't think men should have any say over my reproductive organs and my right to procure an abortion (thank duck I don't live in the States)
They're seemingly unable to comment without being patronising, self-righteous idiots. They have no idea, because it doesn't suit them to know. Just keep spouting platitudes and apologising for the silly hysterical women.
 
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Also this makes me a bit sad, Anita Roddick founded the Body Shop, sort of reminds me of JK Rowling in the sense that it's two women that founded an institution. Obviously TBS is now owned by L'Oreal and the products have been crap and overpriced for years with none of the charm of years ago. What would Anita, a female entrepreneur, say about their social media team going after JK Rowling?
 
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Just wanted to post some self reflective ramblings because I’m still reading and formulating my own opinions on this subject so I don’t want to make sweeping statements just yet

But in terms of myself, I feel like gender is a load of balls? I was born female, haven’t really questioned it before. I present as a woman because women’s clothes fit better because I’m petite. I don’t wear make up, or style my hair, and rarely wear particularly girly clothes. My interests are gender neutral. Basically I’m trying to say I’m not ‘feminine’ at all in society’s limited sense of the word

Also, I’m not especially masculine and I don’t want to be a man. And declaring myself agender/gender fluid (or whatever term) just seems pointless and I’d hate the attention/questions etc

I did a Google search to find out how to know if you’re cisgender and what seemed to crop up a lot was basically ‘feeling comfortable with your assigned sex’. Do most women feel comfortable with their sex??? Seriously, because even pushing my negative experiences aside, there’s my friends experiences, statistics and research, the whole way women are socialised, our biology meaning we generally suffer more pain. I cannot imagine being comfortable as a female. By this definition, do most women have ‘gender dysphoria’?

Just thinking out loud to be honest
 
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Had to unfollow so many people on Twitter / Instagram who is taking on this extreme rhetoric that is claiming JK Rowling is evil. I am honestly surprised at how extreme some of the people I know are. Can they not see they are causing a problem for biological women?
 
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Had to unfollow so many people on Twitter / Instagram who is taking on this extreme rhetoric that is claiming JK Rowling is evil. I am honestly surprised at how extreme some of the people I know are. Can they not see they are causing a problem for biological women?
It's groupthink at play, this is extraordinarily dangerous. A lot of people are more concerned with appearing "right on"
 
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It's groupthink at play, this is extraordinarily dangerous. A lot of people are more concerned with appearing "right on"
Yep and NO ONE can have a different opinion, if you do you are a "witch" "transphobic" etc. It is MAD. I am not enjoying SM right now. It is either posts about BLM/white privilege (which I know are important but it is a lot) OR trans-women/JK Rowling/people being transphobic or covid19. A miserable place right now.
 
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I think people do it for self-gratification to make themselves feel good that they are posting about it.
Yeah exactly, "I'm so much more enlightened than you". I still can't get over someone on this very thread being told they were hiding behind feminism
 
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Just wanted to post some self reflective ramblings because I’m still reading and formulating my own opinions on this subject so I don’t want to make sweeping statements just yet

But in terms of myself, I feel like gender is a load of balls? I was born female, haven’t really questioned it before. I present as a woman because women’s clothes fit better because I’m petite. I don’t wear make up, or style my hair, and rarely wear particularly girly clothes. My interests are gender neutral. Basically I’m trying to say I’m not ‘feminine’ at all in society’s limited sense of the word

Also, I’m not especially masculine and I don’t want to be a man. And declaring myself agender/gender fluid (or whatever term) just seems pointless and I’d hate the attention/questions etc

I did a Google search to find out how to know if you’re cisgender and what seemed to crop up a lot was basically ‘feeling comfortable with your assigned sex’. Do most women feel comfortable with their sex??? Seriously, because even pushing my negative experiences aside, there’s my friends experiences, statistics and research, the whole way women are socialised, our biology meaning we generally suffer more pain. I cannot imagine being comfortable as a female. By this definition, do most women have ‘gender dysphoria’?

Just thinking out loud to be honest
If I was a kid growing up today I think I would’ve been transgender and be on the hormones already! I grew up playing football, hated wearing dresses or makeup, always had messy hair and to be quite honest, I didn’t have any female friends but that wasn’t a problem back then (albeit only 15 years ago). I refused to wear any clothes from the girls section cos I just felt more comfortable in football shirts, joggers and trainers and that was that but nowadays I completely agree it has been massively overblown. If you do anything remotely masculine you are therefore not regarded as a woman anymore and vulnerable young children are now lead to believe that there must be this “misalignment” between their brain and their body and it’s so so harmful it’s actually reversing the old fashioned gender stereotypes women have fought for years to reverse!! I actually think we’re going backwards instead of forwards in society in acceptance of people for who they are and I wouldn’t want my future daughters to grow up in this society. Call me a trans-medicalist but I truly believe that wether you were born a man or a woman you should be free to be as masculine or feminine as you want without feeling the need to change yourself and people who are transgender have a genuine condition where they feel strong dysphoria and distress against their own body which can only be relived by surgery! Sorry for the long rant but I completely understand what you’re saying
 
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I remember reading about a woman who transitioned to a man and then her daughter did the same thing...her daughter was a very young teenager and I remember wondering if that's what she really wanted or was she influenced by her mother? They were quite big on social media but I can't recall their name.

Also, it is so obvious that Saccone Jolys push their son, Eduardo, to wear girls clothes and toys so that they appear more "woke."
I really feel for him as it is shared in their videos and on social media. His school life will be hell.
 
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I wouldn't say I'm 'comfortable with my sex' either, being a woman - but I do think being trans and knowing for sure, is a different feeling based on what my son has described to me. Obviously I don't know first hand what it feels like but when I've tried to understand and he's given me insight it's sounded a lot more deeper than just being uncomfortable. The deep hatred he has for his own body is... traumatising to even hear about, to be honest.

That said, I 100% agree there are cases that are rushed into too quickly. My son is on no medications yet and is having therapy & on the waiting list for gender clinic (it's been I think 13ish months now?). It won't be a quick process for him to get on any medications - I'll be surprised if he's started anything even 12-18 months from now. There are some clinics he wanted to go to (he'd done his research) but it seemed those, when I looked into them myself, were sometimes signing off on hormones on the first visit! Which was... shocking.

I don't really have any doubts that he is trans but I'm not down with that. He's got to get his mind ready before his body.
 
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If I was a kid growing up today I think I would’ve been transgender and be on the hormones already! I grew up playing football, hated wearing dresses or makeup, always had messy hair and to be quite honest, I didn’t have any female friends but that wasn’t a problem back then (albeit only 15 years ago). I refused to wear any clothes from the girls section cos I just felt more comfortable in football shirts, joggers and trainers and that was that but nowadays I completely agree it has been massively overblown. If you do anything remotely masculine you are therefore not regarded as a woman anymore and vulnerable young children are now lead to believe that there must be this “misalignment” between their brain and their body and it’s so so harmful it’s actually reversing the old fashioned gender stereotypes women have fought for years to reverse!! I actually think we’re going backwards instead of forwards in society in acceptance of people for who they are and I wouldn’t want my future daughters to grow up in this society. Call me a trans-medicalist but I truly believe that wether you were born a man or a woman you should be free to be as masculine or feminine as you want without feeling the need to change yourself and people who are transgender have a genuine condition where they feel strong dysphoria and distress against their own body which can only be relived by surgery! Sorry for the long rant but I completely understand what you’re saying
Yes, this is exactly what gives me conflicting feelings because it’s becoming like people aren’t allowed to just be anymore if that makes sense? Like you being a tomboy wasn’t anything more than that and thankfully it sounds like it was never thought to be

I have a daughter, she’s only 18 months old so doesn’t have much self awareness yet but I feel strongly about raising her without judgement after being raised by sexists myself. From day one people were pressuring me to put her in uncomfortable and impractical dresses and bows and I just thought duck this... now she wears what she wants, plays with what she wants. I feel fiercely protective of her childhood and feel like it’s only a matter of time before she starts noticing gender stereotypes and letting them get in the way of who she is
 
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Yes, this is exactly what gives me conflicting feelings because it’s becoming like people aren’t allowed to just be anymore if that makes sense? Like you being a tomboy wasn’t anything more than that and thankfully it sounds like it was never thought to be

I have a daughter, she’s only 18 months old so doesn’t have much self awareness yet but I feel strongly about raising her without judgement after being raised by sexists myself. From day one people were pressuring me to put her in uncomfortable and impractical dresses and bows and I just thought duck this... now she wears what she wants, plays with what she wants. I feel fiercely protective of her childhood and feel like it’s only a matter of time before she starts noticing gender stereotypes and letting them get in the way of who she is
Exactly that! Dresses and bows are so uncomfortable especially for children and that age they should be running around having fun wearing clothes that feel comfortable to them cos at that age it literally doesn’t matter how you’re dressed and wether you fit these ridiculous stereotypes because you’re just a child having fun at the end of the day! Children especially under the age of 10 are far too young to be thinking that they are transgender or if they were born in the wrong body
 
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