Funny childhood stories

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

My husband was telling me about a friend of his (female) who was at a family party with her partner. Her partner’s nephew and the other kids were getting ready for bed and all saying good night to the adults. The nephew aged around 4 asked this friend if she could tickle his back before he went to bed. She didn’t want to seem rude in front of the family so agreed to do it for 10 seconds and then he’d have to go to bed like he’d been told. He stood in front of her whilst she gave his back a quick tickle. He then turned round, opened his dressing gown and pointed to an erection and shouted “look what you did”. Luckily he’d done it a few times before so the parents sort of laughed it off but she was absolutely horrified, mortified and wanted the ground to swallow her up!

ANd this is the story of how Timmy became the Wigan FLasher

 

[chandlercheesecake]

At a primary school disco I tried to pop a balloon by standing on it with both feet, and fell flat on my face in front of everyone!

I also thought I could curl a piece of my hair into a ringlet with this metal motorised spinny thing that we were experimenting with in a science lesson, but it got stuck in my hair and the teacher had to cut it out with scissors.

I was a dumb kid

 

[Aceofspades]

Omg me too! I wanted to be a donkey so I could pull my teddies round in a cart! My cousin wanted to be a snowman.

2021...here’s hoping!

 

[Mulholland Drive]

I used to love picking on my younger sister when I was in my early teens.

For example before she went to school of a morning I would replace some of her text & exercise books with comics or newspapers in her school satchel.

Or I would tie the laces of her PE shoes together into a knot and stuff them in her changing bag.

And on one other occasion I replaced a couple of apples from her lunch box with a couple of imitation plastic ones

Lots of laughs at her expense, but she soon got her revenge....but that's for another thread, lol

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

This isn't a funny story as such and any parent will probably shudder reading this.
In the days before health and safety and helicopter parenting, when kids could climb trees and lauch themselves three foot in the air off home made bike ramps, I climbed up on to the shed roof which was a concrete structure with a flat roof.
I was 7 years old at the time and I'd set all my cindy type dolls out in a row to read them a story. It was in the days when all the kids were allowed to play out without parental supervision so when everyone got called in for dinner I didn't show because I'd fallen asleep on the roof. My dad drove round the streets and knocked on the doors of the kids I played with. There was no sign of me. He returned home frantic and called the police. By this time it was getting to dusk. The police were driving round the streets and because we lived near an army barracks at the time they got soldiers out to search the local heath and woods. A doctor had to be called to sedate my mum because because she was such a mess. I eventually woke up, climbed down and walked in the back door. I can't even formulate into words what the reaction was when everyone saw me. I was really confused by it all. My mum collapsed hugging me so tightly that it hurt and then to add further confusion she started screaming at me and shaking me. I couldn't understand what the hell was going on. The police family liaison officer had to pull my mum off me because she was shaking me so hard with rage . Also it caused a lot of embarrassment for my parents that I was so close by and the police and army had wasted their time even though they were delighted I was found.

This is one of thr best stories I’ve ever heard I can just imagine your mum shaking the life out of you!

 

[hol20x]

When I was about 10 I walked into the automatic doors at Tesco and knocked myself out.

 

[Sibz]

When it was warm outside we were allowed to eat packed lunch at school on the picnic benches outside. One of them was really loose, the screws needed tightening up, but kids that sat on it would rock on it so it swung left and right when you sat on it. Well, one day it was extra loose and swinging all over the show, then I heard an almighty crash and it collapsed, and I just remember turning round to look and seeing one kid squatting with a sandwich still in their hand shocked and the rest on the floor on their arse, the bench flat on the ground underneath them always makes me chuckle thinking of that even now

 

[Weeder]

I have a few little sister revenge stories. If my sister reads here I'm in trouble for even talking about this one AGAIN. We were primary age around 1978 ish and one day we were walking across a car park with my Mum and my sister peed herself. That was funny in itself, big sister peeing herself, but what was even better was that by the time we got home the zip on the side of the boots had rusted (??) shut. They were eventually cut off, me still laughing. She had not spared me previously, so I was going to relish this.

She'd be the first to admit now she led me a dog's life at times. The next time she left me out of whatever shenanigans I told enough people in school to earn her superstar status (ahem) .....

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

This is hilarious! What did she say

At the time nothing but she must have been fuming because she still brings this up now

 

[whisperchat]

My mum massively believes in spirits and would tell anybody who would listen that out house was really haunted.

When I was about 14-15 I had a 10pm curfew, but all my mates could stay out till whenever and I hated it.
the reason I had curfew is because she used to be up at 4 am for work so wanted me in before she went to bed.
So I used to come in at 10, say night and get in bed. I’d wait 30 mins, give her chance to fall asleep then sneak downstairs and go back out. Then sneak back in later on just before she woke up.

a couple of weeks of doing this she started telling everybody about the ghost walking up and down the stairs. I thought I was busted but no she genuinely thought what she was hearing was a ghost.

A year ago she brought it up infront of friends. I said mum you know that was me don’t you.. she had no clue. She was fuming that she had been telling everybody the ghost on the stairs story for years.

I also used to smoke green in my room and blame the neighbours and say it was coming through the vents. So then she went round telling everybody the poor old man next door was a raging druggie.
I was a delightful teen.

Absolutely brilliant

 

[BirkenheadTranny]

This made me think of something I said a couple of years ago to the MIL and she was fuming. I speak a few languages and when I speak my mother tongue often times after I forget some of my english words.
Anyway so we’re round the inlaws and I’m talking about skincare with my MIL. And for the life of me I couldn’t remember the word wrinkles (in fact I would probably be even more diplomatic and use the word fine lines!)
So I just turned to her and ask what she uses for the cracks in her face
She still brings this up

This is hilarious! What did she say