Funny childhood stories

[BirkenheadTranny]

This made me think of something I said a couple of years ago to the MIL and she was fuming. I speak a few languages and when I speak my mother tongue often times after I forget some of my english words.
Anyway so we’re round the inlaws and I’m talking about skincare with my MIL. And for the life of me I couldn’t remember the word wrinkles (in fact I would probably be even more diplomatic and use the word fine lines!)
So I just turned to her and ask what she uses for the cracks in her face
She still brings this up

This is hilarious! What did she say

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

This is hilarious! What did she say

At the time nothing but she must have been fuming because she still brings this up now

 

[Weeder]

I used to spit on the light bulb after turning my light out because I liked the sizzle. I stopped when it exploded one night. I don't think I ever confessed. I'd have been about 8/9

 

[Marcinabolan]

I tit myself from laughing at the film Problem Child when I was about 6 the film still makes me laugh now but I don’t get squelchy pants from it!

 

[hol20x]

When I was about 10 I walked into the automatic doors at Tesco and knocked myself out.

 

[Sibz]

When it was warm outside we were allowed to eat packed lunch at school on the picnic benches outside. One of them was really loose, the screws needed tightening up, but kids that sat on it would rock on it so it swung left and right when you sat on it. Well, one day it was extra loose and swinging all over the show, then I heard an almighty crash and it collapsed, and I just remember turning round to look and seeing one kid squatting with a sandwich still in their hand shocked and the rest on the floor on their arse, the bench flat on the ground underneath them always makes me chuckle thinking of that even now

 

[whisperchat]

My grandad catapulted me off a see-saw once. I was about 6 or 7 he was really giving it some welly and I went flying into another dimension. My Nan went absolutely mental at him

 

[ThatB***hCarolBaskin]

My mum massively believes in spirits and would tell anybody who would listen that out house was really haunted.

When I was about 14-15 I had a 10pm curfew, but all my mates could stay out till whenever and I hated it.
the reason I had curfew is because she used to be up at 4 am for work so wanted me in before she went to bed.
So I used to come in at 10, say night and get in bed. I’d wait 30 mins, give her chance to fall asleep then sneak downstairs and go back out. Then sneak back in later on just before she woke up.

a couple of weeks of doing this she started telling everybody about the ghost walking up and down the stairs. I thought I was busted but no she genuinely thought what she was hearing was a ghost.

A year ago she brought it up infront of friends. I said mum you know that was me don’t you.. she had no clue. She was fuming that she had been telling everybody the ghost on the stairs story for years.

I also used to smoke green in my room and blame the neighbours and say it was coming through the vents. So then she went round telling everybody the poor old man next door was a raging druggie.
I was a delightful teen.

 

[whisperchat]

My mum massively believes in spirits and would tell anybody who would listen that out house was really haunted.

When I was about 14-15 I had a 10pm curfew, but all my mates could stay out till whenever and I hated it.
the reason I had curfew is because she used to be up at 4 am for work so wanted me in before she went to bed.
So I used to come in at 10, say night and get in bed. I’d wait 30 mins, give her chance to fall asleep then sneak downstairs and go back out. Then sneak back in later on just before she woke up.

a couple of weeks of doing this she started telling everybody about the ghost walking up and down the stairs. I thought I was busted but no she genuinely thought what she was hearing was a ghost.

A year ago she brought it up infront of friends. I said mum you know that was me don’t you.. she had no clue. She was fuming that she had been telling everybody the ghost on the stairs story for years.

I also used to smoke green in my room and blame the neighbours and say it was coming through the vents. So then she went round telling everybody the poor old man next door was a raging druggie.
I was a delightful teen.

Absolutely brilliant

 

[Weeder]

I have a few little sister revenge stories. If my sister reads here I'm in trouble for even talking about this one AGAIN. We were primary age around 1978 ish and one day we were walking across a car park with my Mum and my sister peed herself. That was funny in itself, big sister peeing herself, but what was even better was that by the time we got home the zip on the side of the boots had rusted (??) shut. They were eventually cut off, me still laughing. She had not spared me previously, so I was going to relish this.

She'd be the first to admit now she led me a dog's life at times. The next time she left me out of whatever shenanigans I told enough people in school to earn her superstar status (ahem) .....

 

[Boredofinstahuns]

My dad takes a peculiar joy from telling people that when I was around 3 years old, he took me to a model village. In said model village I cried and thought I was a giant. It apparently took him a long time to convince me I was not an actual giant.