I second the advice you were given to see the doc. I was at the doctor's yesterday reeling off a big list of symptoms all of which have left me feeling like I'm losing my mind lately - my anxiety and emotions are off the scale, and I feel like I overreact to everything (rage instead of mild irritation, crying at EVERYTHING) plus not sleeping well, no memory, night sweats and loads of other things which could be peri, but she sent me for a blood test to check for low thyroid and other stuff too. Good luck!
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I don’t think so but I had a major breakdown yesterday and fainted. So my doctor had to prescribe me with some anti anixety meds and wrote to them and I now have an appointment next week xWere you referred on an urgent 2 week pathway? They should always refer you on that if they suspect cancer.
I'm sorry you're going through this, it is so stressful
I lost my first husband to suicide and my most recent partner to a brain aneurysm. This is not why I am posting in this thread, but it's important for context. I've posted about it before (somewhere on Tattle!)
After losing my first husband at 34, I moved city and started a new job, met (now passed away) partner. Have really excelled at work and love my job. I am now 42.
Some colleagues know about partner passing away but the majority of people don't know about my first husband. My line manager does. Recently at work, we have had loads of mandatory training courses assigned to us to complete. Fine. The most recent one is a suicide awareness type course. I get it, it's important. However, given my lived experience, I avoid this type of training, plus, this particular training is not standard 'training' it is someone coming in to speak to us about their lived experience of losing someone. I seen the email re the course and messaged my line manager to advise I wouldn't be doing this course. They were fine with it. However, I remain on the email thread for this course and there has been constant emails going round about this, with emails now coming from our senior boss. I messaged my line manager yesterday asking to be taken out the email thread. He immediately called me. I get on well with my line manager, however, they are a very cold person with zero emotional intelligence. They called me to say yes of course, they will ensure I am removed from the email thread and then started chatting about the course, suicide, their own experience etc. this would not be typical of my line manager and I feel like they have phoned me to ensure I am not suicidal (I am not) and that they have called me as they were concerned I was triggered by the mention of this course. It is not really that that I am triggered by.
I am struggling to verbalise how this is effecting me. I don't feel triggered about suicide discussions as it is common. I feel triggered, maybe embarrassed? That I look like I need special treatment and that my boss phoned me about it? I never draw attention to what has happened to me and I never use it as an excuse. To look at me, you would think I had a good life (clearly I don't!)
My line manager has now advised senior manager that 'due to personal circumstances' I won't be doing this training. This has made me feel even worse as now they will be wondering what those personal circumstances are and it is drawing attention to my situation.
Apologies for the massive brain dump but writing it out has actually helped me. It is the drawing attention to me and my situation that is triggering me. The reason I moved away when my first husband died was because I could not deal with the constant attention due to his suicide. My whole life became about my husbands suicide and now I feel that attention is back on me for this reason.
For clarity, I am not in a healthcare role or any traditional role that would require this sort of training for me to do my job.
I am also not a quiet, shy person who struggles with attention so it isn't that I am an introvert and struggling because there is now attention on me, it's just this particular area of my life.
My head feels so scrambled with it all.
After losing my first husband at 34, I moved city and started a new job, met (now passed away) partner. Have really excelled at work and love my job. I am now 42.
Some colleagues know about partner passing away but the majority of people don't know about my first husband. My line manager does. Recently at work, we have had loads of mandatory training courses assigned to us to complete. Fine. The most recent one is a suicide awareness type course. I get it, it's important. However, given my lived experience, I avoid this type of training, plus, this particular training is not standard 'training' it is someone coming in to speak to us about their lived experience of losing someone. I seen the email re the course and messaged my line manager to advise I wouldn't be doing this course. They were fine with it. However, I remain on the email thread for this course and there has been constant emails going round about this, with emails now coming from our senior boss. I messaged my line manager yesterday asking to be taken out the email thread. He immediately called me. I get on well with my line manager, however, they are a very cold person with zero emotional intelligence. They called me to say yes of course, they will ensure I am removed from the email thread and then started chatting about the course, suicide, their own experience etc. this would not be typical of my line manager and I feel like they have phoned me to ensure I am not suicidal (I am not) and that they have called me as they were concerned I was triggered by the mention of this course. It is not really that that I am triggered by.
I am struggling to verbalise how this is effecting me. I don't feel triggered about suicide discussions as it is common. I feel triggered, maybe embarrassed? That I look like I need special treatment and that my boss phoned me about it? I never draw attention to what has happened to me and I never use it as an excuse. To look at me, you would think I had a good life (clearly I don't!)
My line manager has now advised senior manager that 'due to personal circumstances' I won't be doing this training. This has made me feel even worse as now they will be wondering what those personal circumstances are and it is drawing attention to my situation.
Apologies for the massive brain dump but writing it out has actually helped me. It is the drawing attention to me and my situation that is triggering me. The reason I moved away when my first husband died was because I could not deal with the constant attention due to his suicide. My whole life became about my husbands suicide and now I feel that attention is back on me for this reason.
For clarity, I am not in a healthcare role or any traditional role that would require this sort of training for me to do my job.
I am also not a quiet, shy person who struggles with attention so it isn't that I am an introvert and struggling because there is now attention on me, it's just this particular area of my life.
My head feels so scrambled with it all.
that’s really tough. i’m sorry you’ve been through all that. it’s hard when you suddenly become labelled as “the spouse/partner/daughter/mother of someone who died” rather than as yourself. i don’t have any advice, but i understand
My mental health has been in the gutter a lot this week recently. I had even had a therapy session to help sort it out (which it did, but the feelings don't magically disappear sadly!)
But this weekend is even worse. I was meant to be helping my mum with her house, with the help of my 2 nephews. We booked it in a couple of weeks. It was basically cancelled behind my back, and got told through a text this morning by my mum who said "enjoy this weekend, we'll rearrange today" My mum isn't a bigger texter, so i'm lucky to get that. But I have no relationship with my sister at the moment due to her behaviour and partner, so seeing my newphews and niece is hard at the moment; espically cause they're at their age where they're off seeing friends and whatnot.
But today. my oldest nephew (who's birthday was earlier in the week) has gone to one of his hobbies and then they're all off out for a meal. my 2nd newphew is no-where to be seen (not physically, i just meant he hasn't bothred to stay in touch lol ), and even though it's Easter, my mums not arsed about seeing me, even though she'll play it as "Oh you don't have to come see me, you go live your life"
So now, I'm sat in my room, with my housemates cat asleep on my bed, crying my eyes about how alone I feel and not loved. This might seem dramatic, but if i knew today was goign to be cancelled, I could've made plans elsewhere or go away.
I'm trying to stay off social media to stop seeing the happy family posts. I'm thinking about going to the cinema either today or tomorrow to keep me distracted and stay off my phone too for a couple of hours.
But this weekend is even worse. I was meant to be helping my mum with her house, with the help of my 2 nephews. We booked it in a couple of weeks. It was basically cancelled behind my back, and got told through a text this morning by my mum who said "enjoy this weekend, we'll rearrange today" My mum isn't a bigger texter, so i'm lucky to get that. But I have no relationship with my sister at the moment due to her behaviour and partner, so seeing my newphews and niece is hard at the moment; espically cause they're at their age where they're off seeing friends and whatnot.
But today. my oldest nephew (who's birthday was earlier in the week) has gone to one of his hobbies and then they're all off out for a meal. my 2nd newphew is no-where to be seen (not physically, i just meant he hasn't bothred to stay in touch lol ), and even though it's Easter, my mums not arsed about seeing me, even though she'll play it as "Oh you don't have to come see me, you go live your life"
So now, I'm sat in my room, with my housemates cat asleep on my bed, crying my eyes about how alone I feel and not loved. This might seem dramatic, but if i knew today was goign to be cancelled, I could've made plans elsewhere or go away.
I'm trying to stay off social media to stop seeing the happy family posts. I'm thinking about going to the cinema either today or tomorrow to keep me distracted and stay off my phone too for a couple of hours.
I’m away with my parents visiting my sister who lives overseas, I don’t see my sister often and we aren’t close (never have been) she’s difficult at the best of times but everytime I’ve tried to engage her in conversation she just isn’t interested! Yet she will talk endlessly to my brother who is also here makes me feel so left out 
for reference I’ve always tried to make the effort with her and her kids but she never reciprocates! A few years back her and my brother met up in London they didn’t ask or invite me 
and now they have just conveniently nipped out separately and met up at a local bar and yet again not asked me! I’m livid and so annoyed that yet again I’m constantly left out all the time 
I am looking forward to going home tomorrow 
I also have a long term health condition and not once has she asked about it 
for reference I’ve always tried to make the effort with her and her kids but she never reciprocates! A few years back her and my brother met up in London they didn’t ask or invite me and now they have just conveniently nipped out separately and met up at a local bar and yet again not asked me! I’m livid and so annoyed that yet again I’m constantly left out all the time I am looking forward to going home tomorrow I also have a long term health condition and not once has she asked about it So tomorrow is the anniversary of the day I was
- and this is the first year since, that I've been able to talk about it properly as I reported it back in 2021 and the trial was in February this year, and got a conviction. There's an article written by one of the court journalists - I'm not named, but he is.
April is
Awareness Month and part of me wants to share this article.
Please help persuade me, logically this isn't a good idea! I've had some wine and know that is part of it, and I don't know what I'm hoping to get from sharing it.
grape by my best friend
April is
Sexual Assault
Please help persuade me, logically this isn't a good idea! I've had some wine and know that is part of it, and I don't know what I'm hoping to get from sharing it.
Happy Easter, Tattlers 
I'm having a hard time with the no-family-few-friends life today. At least I made a roast that turned out very well, and I'm giving myself the weekend off from everything.
I'm having a hard time with the no-family-few-friends life today. At least I made a roast that turned out very well, and I'm giving myself the weekend off from everything.
I come from a large family and my siblings all are brothers, (I'm female) parents deceased. I was constantly left out too. I stopped dealing with them all about 10years ago when my adult son started getting left out too. All the other adult children of my siblings were OK but not mine. So I said duck it and drew a line under it. Havent spoken to any of them since and I feel better for it.I’m away with my parents visiting my sister who lives overseas, I don’t see my sister often and we aren’t close (never have been) she’s difficult at the best of times but everytime I’ve tried to engage her in conversation she just isn’t interested! Yet she will talk endlessly to my brother who is also here makes me feel so left out
I'm just worn out. My cat has mouth cancer and since his diagnosis 8 days ago I have slept poorly. He has pain medication and vet wants to see him next week but he's on palliative care. Probably getting the big sleep next visit.
Thankyou so much for taking the time to reply
oh no that’s so tough good for you for walking away! I’ve considered doing this many times but I had a huge emotional breakdown yesterday with my brother who appeared to take what I said on board and he seemed open to making more effort to include me, my sister not so much but she is an incredibly selfish person, she will never change and I don’t ever foresee us ever being close and if it weren’t for my nephews I would have cut ties along time ago, I’m now home but feel so emotionally drained I will see if anything changes with my brother as I am closer to him, families are so difficult aren’t they never been happier to be home tho, thankyou again 
I hope you're finding today not too hard, the first anniversary is always the worst. From someone who it happened to in 2011 it does get better. Unfortunately it affects me in ways but I dont think about it as much now. Whatever you find beneficial in recovery is your choice, no one else's.
Thank you. Today is actually 8 years since it happened, I reported it in 2021 though and the trial was February this year - so it's taken a fair amount of time but isn't the first of these anniversaries I've dealt with.
Anniversaries are tough. Or sometimes the build up to it is worse. I hope you could do something nice for yourself today
I have today decided to remove myself from the family WhatsApp group. My siblings have been excluding me from things for several years now which I’ve accepted for the sake of the relationship my children have with their cousins. However, I’ve recently discovered that they meet up without us and I just don’t want to feel hated and inadequate any more. I certainly don’t want my children growing up feeling how I’ve been made to feel.
I’ve tried my hardest over the years to be a good sister. I’ve people pleased to the point where I’ve just been walked over.
Reading similar posts today, just wanted to say I’m sorry to those going through similar. It really hurts.
Happy Easter to you all - I hope there’s been lots of chocolate and doing things that make you happy.
I’ve tried my hardest over the years to be a good sister. I’ve people pleased to the point where I’ve just been walked over.
Reading similar posts today, just wanted to say I’m sorry to those going through similar. It really hurts.
Happy Easter to you all - I hope there’s been lots of chocolate and doing things that make you happy.
I'm so sorry. We went through this with a dog. Take care
Hi everyone. Its a bit of a long one so I apologize in advance. I don't know where to turn.
My mom is currently on week 3 of giving me the silent treatment. I'm 31F for reference. She has been doing it since I was a kid. I always assumed it was normal until really my husband said its not a few years ago. I do plan on starting therapy, I've tried to start a couple of times in 2025 as I was very low mentally (unrelated to my mom) but I chickened out and convinced myself I was being over dramatic and that I'm fine.
Before I unleash her behavior, I do want to say that while she was probably my enemy to a point, she is also really good at being my friend when she wants to. She is a single mom, my dad was mentally, verbally, physically abusive. Hes been out of the picture and in jail since maybe 08 or 09. I've been 100% no contact since 2007. When her and I are good, we are good but the moment I don't support her views on something deep to her, I've triggered her to turn.
I can't remember what happened for her to give me the silent treatment as a young child at times, it was a handful of times. I do remember a moment where I hadn't cleaned my room to her standards (I had to of been 10 years old or younger. It wasn't a pigsty but I did spend 80% of my time in there so it wasn't pristine. You could walk around.) and she called me a b**ch because of it.
When I was 19, I got accepted into college 3 hours away. She didn't talk to me for a month or more. Mind you, my college town is where ALL of my family is living except my mom, aunt, and brother. All three of them also used to live in my college town. My mom, brother, and I were moved away by my dad when I was born and my aunt left the area in 2013 and moved in with us. They visit the area several times a year so its not like I went somewhere foreign to her.
After college, I stayed in my college town because I built a life and career.
There was a trip made to my mom's in 2021 or 2022 at christmas time. Christmas was on a Monday but we left on Sunday because my husband is a property manager and needed to get back home in case he had any more emergency calls (he ended up having a ton that weekend). We had gotten there on a thursday. This made my mom so upset, that she didn't talk to me properly for almost 3 months. She even went as far as refusing to spend the holidays with us the following year and went on vacations
.
After we got married in 2023, she acted like I had abandoned her, acted weird for nearly a year and demanded a girls trip be done between herself, me, my cousin, two aunts. I made the mistake of inviting my best friend whom gets along great because she's like family and my mom had the audacity to throw a tantrum and cancel the whole trip because she felt not included? What?
In 2024, my brother said something during a fight and somehow, I was the one getting tit because he told her I said something that I never said. I can't even remember because it was so stupid. She didn't speak to me for 2 weeks. Over something I never said.
Now this time, it was because my cousin (who she is beefing with for an unknown reason) visited my aunt who lives with my mom while my mom was in FL for 2 weeks or so. My mom found out about the visit, lays into my brother and I (who had no idea about the plan) and threw a tantrum because we supported the visit as they don't see each other that often. As mentioned in the beginning, she's working on week 3
. She said everyone was sneaking around her back and she can't trust anyone.
Note: If someone does something or goes somewhere that she didn't know about, they were being sneaky. I couldn't have social media or talk to friends online until I was 17 growing up because I was being "sneaky". Even though I wasn't🫠. I had two friends and none of us ever did anything wrong LOL a lot of my time outside of school consisted of drama/musical club, soccer, or just isolated in my room.
I couldn't talk to a boy because "I would have sex and get pregnant" because I was "sneaking around". I wasn't even interested in having sex as a teenager. I was a bit of a late bloomer. I just wanted friends🫠.
I mean, dang, even if I expressed how cute a baby looked in a costume or outfit to a parent somewhere (friend/family/stranger alike), she would shoot daggers out of her eyes at me and tell me "do not even think about it" as if I was going to pop a baby out at 14 right then and there🫠. This led me to have a deep rooted thought process until about last year that I did not want kids and would never have them.
She has always treated me differently than my older brother (who still lives at home with her). He has always been allowed to fall through the cracks, never did well at school, never was expected to get a job and keep it, etc. I was always expected to be the good one that she "never had to worry about". As mentioned above, no social media, I couldn't have a laptop or cell phone unless I bought it myself (or another family member got it for me as a gift. My first laptop was a gift from my dads family at 16. This was my dads attmept to buy me as I was 5 years NC with him at the time). I bought my first cell phone at 19.
If I do not message her, she plays the poor me no one loves me card when I'm just absolutely spent from my own daily life and she knows this because I am constantly telling her this. I'm an insurance claims adjuster for large accident claims. Sometimes, I do not feel like talking to anyone and I need to build my battery back up, destress, or relax my anxiety.
Growing up as a kid/teen, I would be classified a b***h, snob, or brat because I often isolated in my room and did not spend much time when family would come to visit.
As an adult, I'm a snob for wanting peace and to limit the chaos in my life.
I went through so much stress between my mom and dad's separation/unsuccessful divorce that I developed Graves disease of the thyroid when I was in 5th grade. My endocrinologist at the time advised my mom that it was likely a direct result of the stress I endured.
I have a visit planned from April 23rd to 25th, we have to stay at her house because its too small of a town for any hotels under an hour away. My husband and I have a comedy show that we are attending and I have older family friends that I need to visit with. If my mom is talking to me by then, she will just act like nothing happened. I would like to confront this behavior as I am just tired of the games. She's a parent and I want her to act like it.
I don't know if she is a narcissist or just a bad mom but I wanted some advise on boundaries and such, maybe advise on confronting her and how. Have any of your moms normalized such behavior? My husband and I talk frequently lately about having children...I can't imagine ever treating my future children like this.
She is my only parent so this realization is heavy despite dealing with it my whole life.
Thanks in advance
My mom is currently on week 3 of giving me the silent treatment. I'm 31F for reference. She has been doing it since I was a kid. I always assumed it was normal until really my husband said its not a few years ago. I do plan on starting therapy, I've tried to start a couple of times in 2025 as I was very low mentally (unrelated to my mom) but I chickened out and convinced myself I was being over dramatic and that I'm fine.
Before I unleash her behavior, I do want to say that while she was probably my enemy to a point, she is also really good at being my friend when she wants to. She is a single mom, my dad was mentally, verbally, physically abusive. Hes been out of the picture and in jail since maybe 08 or 09. I've been 100% no contact since 2007. When her and I are good, we are good but the moment I don't support her views on something deep to her, I've triggered her to turn.
I can't remember what happened for her to give me the silent treatment as a young child at times, it was a handful of times. I do remember a moment where I hadn't cleaned my room to her standards (I had to of been 10 years old or younger. It wasn't a pigsty but I did spend 80% of my time in there so it wasn't pristine. You could walk around.) and she called me a b**ch because of it
. When I was 19, I got accepted into college 3 hours away. She didn't talk to me for a month or more. Mind you, my college town is where ALL of my family is living except my mom, aunt, and brother. All three of them also used to live in my college town. My mom, brother, and I were moved away by my dad when I was born and my aunt left the area in 2013 and moved in with us. They visit the area several times a year so its not like I went somewhere foreign to her.
After college, I stayed in my college town because I built a life and career.
There was a trip made to my mom's in 2021 or 2022 at christmas time. Christmas was on a Monday but we left on Sunday because my husband is a property manager and needed to get back home in case he had any more emergency calls (he ended up having a ton that weekend). We had gotten there on a thursday. This made my mom so upset, that she didn't talk to me properly for almost 3 months. She even went as far as refusing to spend the holidays with us the following year and went on vacations
. After we got married in 2023, she acted like I had abandoned her, acted weird for nearly a year and demanded a girls trip be done between herself, me, my cousin, two aunts. I made the mistake of inviting my best friend whom gets along great because she's like family and my mom had the audacity to throw a tantrum and cancel the whole trip because she felt not included? What?
In 2024, my brother said something during a fight and somehow, I was the one getting tit because he told her I said something that I never said. I can't even remember because it was so stupid. She didn't speak to me for 2 weeks. Over something I never said.
Now this time, it was because my cousin (who she is beefing with for an unknown reason) visited my aunt who lives with my mom while my mom was in FL for 2 weeks or so. My mom found out about the visit, lays into my brother and I (who had no idea about the plan) and threw a tantrum because we supported the visit as they don't see each other that often. As mentioned in the beginning, she's working on week 3
. She said everyone was sneaking around her back and she can't trust anyone. Note: If someone does something or goes somewhere that she didn't know about, they were being sneaky. I couldn't have social media or talk to friends online until I was 17 growing up because I was being "sneaky". Even though I wasn't🫠. I had two friends and none of us ever did anything wrong LOL a lot of my time outside of school consisted of drama/musical club, soccer, or just isolated in my room.
I couldn't talk to a boy because "I would have sex and get pregnant" because I was "sneaking around". I wasn't even interested in having sex as a teenager. I was a bit of a late bloomer. I just wanted friends🫠.
I mean, dang, even if I expressed how cute a baby looked in a costume or outfit to a parent somewhere (friend/family/stranger alike), she would shoot daggers out of her eyes at me and tell me "do not even think about it" as if I was going to pop a baby out at 14 right then and there🫠
. This led me to have a deep rooted thought process until about last year that I did not want kids and would never have them. She has always treated me differently than my older brother (who still lives at home with her). He has always been allowed to fall through the cracks, never did well at school, never was expected to get a job and keep it, etc. I was always expected to be the good one that she "never had to worry about". As mentioned above, no social media, I couldn't have a laptop or cell phone unless I bought it myself (or another family member got it for me as a gift. My first laptop was a gift from my dads family at 16. This was my dads attmept to buy me as I was 5 years NC with him at the time). I bought my first cell phone at 19.
If I do not message her, she plays the poor me no one loves me card when I'm just absolutely spent from my own daily life and she knows this because I am constantly telling her this. I'm an insurance claims adjuster for large accident claims. Sometimes, I do not feel like talking to anyone and I need to build my battery back up, destress, or relax my anxiety.
Growing up as a kid/teen, I would be classified a b***h, snob, or brat because I often isolated in my room and did not spend much time when family would come to visit.
As an adult, I'm a snob for wanting peace and to limit the chaos in my life.
I went through so much stress between my mom and dad's separation/unsuccessful divorce that I developed Graves disease of the thyroid when I was in 5th grade. My endocrinologist at the time advised my mom that it was likely a direct result of the stress I endured.
I have a visit planned from April 23rd to 25th, we have to stay at her house because its too small of a town for any hotels under an hour away. My husband and I have a comedy show that we are attending and I have older family friends that I need to visit with. If my mom is talking to me by then, she will just act like nothing happened. I would like to confront this behavior as I am just tired of the games. She's a parent and I want her to act like it.
I don't know if she is a narcissist or just a bad mom but I wanted some advise on boundaries and such, maybe advise on confronting her and how. Have any of your moms normalized such behavior? My husband and I talk frequently lately about having children...I can't imagine ever treating my future children like this.
She is my only parent so this realization is heavy despite dealing with it my whole life.
Thanks in advance
I’ve been given all clear by the breast clinic x