For anybody struggling ❤️ #2

[Okivia2020]

I think feel proud you went back to work and faced it! that’s hard and I’m proud of you! Break ups are the worse, it’s like grieving a person. You’ve got to think though that you deserve someone to love you with all their heart and that can happen now you’re free ps you sound lovely so I believe it will happen sooner rather than later

 

[InkHeart]

I'm struggling to get police to take my stalking case seriously.
Last week they said they were closing the case. Yesterday they got back in touch and said they were seeking to arrest him very soon. Today I got an email saying the case was being handed off to another officer and they'd be in touch. Wtf is happening? I've been let down a million times.

 

[griftalo]

I'm struggling to get police to take my stalking case seriously.
Last week they said they were closing the case. Yesterday they got back in touch and said they were seeking to arrest him very soon. Today I got an email saying the case was being handed off to another officer and they'd be in touch. Wtf is happening? I've been let down a million times.

I’m sorry to hear this. I hope things move forward for you, the lack of care around stalking is a disgrace

 

[BoogleC]

I accessed counselling through my work which helped is this an option for you?

Just wanted to come back and say thank you again for this suggestion, I have been really struggling the past week but called the number via my work today and have a free counselling session booked in for this Thursday

 

[Ray1403]

this is very long so i apologise in advance!
i’ve just stopped contraception (nexplanon implant) so we can start trying for our second baby. for some background, i used the same contraception previously for 10 years and had it removed in january 2023. my period started 3 weeks later and my cycles were all over the place, but i got pregnant in the july and had our son in april 2024. my pregnancy was uneventful really, fairly textbook. at 30 weeks i had a growth scan after i went in for reduces movement (he was fine) and they noted on the scan that he had suddenly jumped from 50th -> 90th centile, so i had growth scans every 2 weeks after that, a GD test (negative) and put under consultant care. at my 37 week scan they found i now had polyhydramnios so i was offered early induction but i refused, and was provisionally booked in for 41 weeks as our trust don’t let you go past that. well my 40 week due date came and went, and i was induced at 41 weeks. long story short, my labour was very long and i had multiple cervical checks/sweeps as my cervix wasn’t progressing with the contractions, i had my waters manually breaking after 24hrs of contractions due to lack of dilation and effacement, i had an epidural (which i asked for by this point), rapidly dilated after that and after an hour of pushing i was rushed for a category 1 emergency c-section. my son was delivered perfectly healthy. i, on the other hand, experienced 2 rare complications (bandl’s ring and a uterine inversion) and haemorrhaged, but they controlled it and all was well. fast forward to now. i’m now convinced that the complications from my c-section have rendered my uterus uninhabitable, even though my consultant told me that’s not likely. i’m convinced i won’t get my period back following removal of my implant. i did ovulation tests the last couple of days to see where in my cycle i am, when i might expect my period, and i got a “high” result yesterday but back to negative today with no peak detected. of course i’ve now spiralled convinced i’m not ovulating. i’m so so lucky to have my little boy so i feel like i can’t even complain or feel nervous about having a second child because of that. my head’s all over the place

 

[thegirlscout]

Things have been going okayish for a few weeks and then today I just sat down and felt bad. It’s hard to describe. Numb maybe, resigned. Just wanting to stop. But not kill myself. Just wanting everything to just stop. Like when you flick a switch.

 

[Lico]

Still in bed here. Just can't drag myself out of it today. I'd a week off work, and I feel like I didn't decompress at all. Back tomorrow and already dreading it.

 

[griftalo]

this is very long so i apologise in advance!
i’ve just stopped contraception (nexplanon implant) so we can start trying for our second baby. for some background, i used the same contraception previously for 10 years and had it removed in january 2023. my period started 3 weeks later and my cycles were all over the place, but i got pregnant in the july and had our son in april 2024. my pregnancy was uneventful really, fairly textbook. at 30 weeks i had a growth scan after i went in for reduces movement (he was fine) and they noted on the scan that he had suddenly jumped from 50th -> 90th centile, so i had growth scans every 2 weeks after that, a GD test (negative) and put under consultant care. at my 37 week scan they found i now had polyhydramnios so i was offered early induction but i refused, and was provisionally booked in for 41 weeks as our trust don’t let you go past that. well my 40 week due date came and went, and i was induced at 41 weeks. long story short, my labour was very long and i had multiple cervical checks/sweeps as my cervix wasn’t progressing with the contractions, i had my waters manually breaking after 24hrs of contractions due to lack of dilation and effacement, i had an epidural (which i asked for by this point), rapidly dilated after that and after an hour of pushing i was rushed for a category 1 emergency c-section. my son was delivered perfectly healthy. i, on the other hand, experienced 2 rare complications (bandl’s ring and a uterine inversion) and haemorrhaged, but they controlled it and all was well. fast forward to now. i’m now convinced that the complications from my c-section have rendered my uterus uninhabitable, even though my consultant told me that’s not likely. i’m convinced i won’t get my period back following removal of my implant. i did ovulation tests the last couple of days to see where in my cycle i am, when i might expect my period, and i got a “high” result yesterday but back to negative today with no peak detected. of course i’ve now spiralled convinced i’m not ovulating. i’m so so lucky to have my little boy so i feel like i can’t even complain or feel nervous about having a second child because of that. my head’s all over the place

I’m sorry it was all so stressful for you. After my first I was told my hormones were so wrong I wouldn’t ever conceive naturally again and I could have ivf if I wanted and I declined as I had had a huge baby (not diabetic) and I was scared of having 8lb twins. Three months later I had reflexology and then found myself pregnant again. I have now got four children! Don’t get too stressed this early, a lot can change.

 

[mochibean]

I posted elsewhere but my partner left me unexpectedly almost 2 weeks ago now, told me he couldn't do it anymore packed up his things and left. we've had no contact since and at the moment every day just feels worse, every day someone tells me time is a healer and rationally I know this but I am so deep in the grief stage and being unable to accept the person I love so much doesn't want me. Anyway, i took some time off work last week but I am back today and I have so much to do and things that need me to be sharp and assertive but I can't concentrate on anything and am feeling very overwhelmed

It's so hard isn't it. I'm going through this rn except we broke up a while ago and he gave me false hope that we'd be something again. I completely understand how much it hurts, physically hurts. You're not alone, I can barely function.

 

[BoogleC]

It's so hard isn't it. I'm going through this rn except we broke up a while ago and he gave me false hope that we'd be something again. I completely understand how much it hurts, physically hurts. You're not alone, I can barely function.

I’m so sorry you feel like this and I totally understand the physical pain it is truly awful. I keep thinking it will ease off but I’m in a peak of it feeling almost worse each day. I do think it’s the shock too and trying to make sense of someone else’s behaviour when there is no explanation especially when their actions completely contradict everything they’ve told you. It is really bloody hard and it feels like there will be no end to it but there will be, I am sure of it. Sending you gentle hugs

 

[BettyRose]

I finally got an answer about my court transcripts (which they submitted for everything, despite me saying I didn't want or need the full transcripts, and the cost is based on how many words) - over £2000! For transcripts of my own bloody case that I wasn't allowed to be at.

I've asked them to resubmit it (attempt FOUR!) for the actual information I have asked for, to see what that will cost me

I've got the sentencing remarks, which were free - but don't answer my questions.

 

[Hairraiser]

duck I feel low tonight.
I want to split from my partner. I’ve been with him around a year, introduced him to my son. (5yo)
We’ve had some great times, and sometimes I feel like he’s my rock.
Other times, I feel like he’s taking me for a mug.
He doesn’t work, lives with his uncle, doesn’t pay a single utility bill (except his car insurance & phone)
He eats all my food, stays over every night pretty much.
He always gets funny when I asked him for some help with food shop/money towards bills as he’s here a lot! I didn’t think it was too much to ask considering he doesn’t have any commitments.
We talked about him paying for a weeks food shopping every other week. It was my turn last week, I spent over £50 (feeds 3 of us)
This week, he’s only bought enough for about two days and already wants me to do my part of the deal which is pay for the shopping.
We’ve spoke about him moving in and having a more secure plan in place but he’s not interested.
I think he knows he’ll lose his benefits, I’ve said if he does decide to move in, he needs to get a stable job. He tells me he can’t work cause he has terrible anxiety - he receives job seekers, signed off medically for his anxiety.

He is also an ex alcoholic, and we’ve had a few issues in the past where we’ve had rows (when my sons not here of course) and police have been involved.

It’s an odd feeling, cause there’s so many things about him that wouldn’t attract any woman to him, but for me, I’m scared to let go. He gives me the attention, good sex, he’s funny and we have lots in common. I don’t know what to do for the best.

I really hoped he’d change a few of his ways but he hasn’t ! No effort to get a job!

I work full time, and when I’m not working I’m doing the school runs, looking after my son and all the other life admin. (Which I thrive on and love btw, not a complaint)
But his life is so drastically different to mine.
He has no kids, no job, just an insane obsession with fishing. He goes almost everyday!

I’m worried how my boy will handle it if I did decide to split from him, they’ve built a good bond and I still carry a lot of guilt seperating from his dad. I want to do this so he doesn’t get hurt!

It feels good to vent.
Any comments good or bad will be appreciated

 

[Libertine1975]

duck I feel low tonight.
I want to split from my partner. I’ve been with him around a year, introduced him to my son. (5yo)
We’ve had some great times, and sometimes I feel like he’s my rock.
Other times, I feel like he’s taking me for a mug.
He doesn’t work, lives with his uncle, doesn’t pay a single utility bill (except his car insurance & phone)
He eats all my food, stays over every night pretty much.
He always gets funny when I asked him for some help with food shop/money towards bills as he’s here a lot! I didn’t think it was too much to ask considering he doesn’t have any commitments.
We talked about him paying for a weeks food shopping every other week. It was my turn last week, I spent over £50 (feeds 3 of us)
This week, he’s only bought enough for about two days and already wants me to do my part of the deal which is pay for the shopping.
We’ve spoke about him moving in and having a more secure plan in place but he’s not interested.
I think he knows he’ll lose his benefits, I’ve said if he does decide to move in, he needs to get a stable job. He tells me he can’t work cause he has terrible anxiety - he receives job seekers, signed off medically for his anxiety.

He is also an ex alcoholic, and we’ve had a few issues in the past where we’ve had rows (when my sons not here of course) and police have been involved.

It’s an odd feeling, cause there’s so many things about him that wouldn’t attract any woman to him, but for me, I’m scared to let go. He gives me the attention, good sex, he’s funny and we have lots in common. I don’t know what to do for the best.

I really hoped he’d change a few of his ways but he hasn’t ! No effort to get a job!

I work full time, and when I’m not working I’m doing the school runs, looking after my son and all the other life admin. (Which I thrive on and love btw, not a complaint)
But his life is so drastically different to mine.
He has no kids, no job, just an insane obsession with fishing. He goes almost everyday!

I’m worried how my boy will handle it if I did decide to split from him, they’ve built a good bond and I still carry a lot of guilt seperating from his dad. I want to do this so he doesn’t get hurt!

It feels good to vent.
Any comments good or bad will be appreciated

Kids are pretty resiliant.

He isn't willing to improve or change his life to make a life with you. He is using anxiety as an excuse. I have anxiety and I am a solicitor. He wants an easy life on benefits. What future is there if he won't change?

You deserve and can do better than this for you and your boy.

 

[BettyRose]

It’s an odd feeling, cause there’s so many things about him that wouldn’t attract any woman to him, but for me, I’m scared to let go. He gives me the attention, good sex, he’s funny and we have lots in common. I don’t know what to do for the best.

But does he make you happy?

 

[nothanks91]

duck I feel low tonight.
I want to split from my partner. I’ve been with him around a year, introduced him to my son. (5yo)
We’ve had some great times, and sometimes I feel like he’s my rock.
Other times, I feel like he’s taking me for a mug.
He doesn’t work, lives with his uncle, doesn’t pay a single utility bill (except his car insurance & phone)
He eats all my food, stays over every night pretty much.
He always gets funny when I asked him for some help with food shop/money towards bills as he’s here a lot! I didn’t think it was too much to ask considering he doesn’t have any commitments.
We talked about him paying for a weeks food shopping every other week. It was my turn last week, I spent over £50 (feeds 3 of us)
This week, he’s only bought enough for about two days and already wants me to do my part of the deal which is pay for the shopping.
We’ve spoke about him moving in and having a more secure plan in place but he’s not interested.
I think he knows he’ll lose his benefits, I’ve said if he does decide to move in, he needs to get a stable job. He tells me he can’t work cause he has terrible anxiety - he receives job seekers, signed off medically for his anxiety.

He is also an ex alcoholic, and we’ve had a few issues in the past where we’ve had rows (when my sons not here of course) and police have been involved.

It’s an odd feeling, cause there’s so many things about him that wouldn’t attract any woman to him, but for me, I’m scared to let go. He gives me the attention, good sex, he’s funny and we have lots in common. I don’t know what to do for the best.

I really hoped he’d change a few of his ways but he hasn’t ! No effort to get a job!

I work full time, and when I’m not working I’m doing the school runs, looking after my son and all the other life admin. (Which I thrive on and love btw, not a complaint)
But his life is so drastically different to mine.
He has no kids, no job, just an insane obsession with fishing. He goes almost everyday!

I’m worried how my boy will handle it if I did decide to split from him, they’ve built a good bond and I still carry a lot of guilt seperating from his dad. I want to do this so he doesn’t get hurt!

It feels good to vent.
Any comments good or bad will be appreciated

Are there more positives than negatives by staying with him?

 

[Hairraiser]

But does he make you happy?

Sometimes.

 

[Hairraiser]

Are there more positives than negatives by staying with him?

I’m struggling to think of many tbh

 

[evie1975]

I’m struggling to think of many tbh

If a friend presented this story to you; what would you tell her? More than likely you’d tell her she is a fantastic person, mother and she deserved better. Time to be your own best friend and listen to your own advice. The situation may lead to resentment in the end; that’s not what you need in your life

 

[Libs]

I’m sure your son is more attached to you, than some man! He sounds like a user to me.

 

[nothanks91]

I’m struggling to think of many tbh

There’s your answer. Things will be ok