For anybody struggling ❤️ #2

[rainbowlemon]

I really do need to stop watching the news or just cutting down on it (say watching the headlines at 6pm only). I’ve always been interested in the world around me and as I got older that has turned to news, politics, etc. There are some things I am very passionate about but they can also cause a drain on my mental health because nothing positive seems to be happening. Even on tattle I engage in the political threads which I’m sure annoys some people haha! But it is comforting to hear from you that other people feel just out of control as I do. I’m not vain enough to think only I was feeling this but you can quite easily end up in your own bubble where you can’t see clearly.

I have M.E so I struggle to read but I do enjoy audiobooks! If you have any recommendations for me I’d love to hear them. I tend to go for non fiction (currently reading (well listening) the memoirs of a journalist during the golden age of Hollywood) but I want to get back into stories again. I have heard of Matt Haig but not read/listened to any of his books before!

I’ve not heard of the back pack theory before. This sounds really interesting and I’m going to read up on it. What other visuals do you like?

Thank you for such a lovely reply! I wish this thread was more active because the people who comment are so kind.

In the past the news was only available through newspapers or broadcast in the evening at 6pm. The way we consume it has changed. It has become available at our very fingertips 24/7. We are not designed to listen to heavy trauma at every waking moment multiple times a day. I went through periods where I did stop reading and listening to it altogether as much as I could.

It can make you feel hopeless, seeing the state of things and being unable to help. It’s okay to take breaks.

I also believe the music we listen to also affects us. Listening to more positive music can help. You don’t have to be religious to listen to Bebo Norman. I also love musicals too. Listen to unstoppable by Sia and this is me by the greatest showman .

For audiobooks I am a huge fan of YOU by Caroline Kapnes. I like to it on repeat because it is comforting and available from the library for free.

Well done on tidying up. You’re doing great!

Are you apart of any support groups for ME?

 

[supers0nic]

I really do need to stop watching the news or just cutting down on it (say watching the headlines at 6pm only). I’ve always been interested in the world around me and as I got older that has turned to news, politics, etc. There are some things I am very passionate about but they can also cause a drain on my mental health because nothing positive seems to be happening. Even on tattle I engage in the political threads which I’m sure annoys some people haha! But it is comforting to hear from you that other people feel just out of control as I do. I’m not vain enough to think only I was feeling this but you can quite easily end up in your own bubble where you can’t see clearly.

I have M.E so I struggle to read but I do enjoy audiobooks! If you have any recommendations for me I’d love to hear them. I tend to go for non fiction (currently reading (well listening) the memoirs of a journalist during the golden age of Hollywood) but I want to get back into stories again. I have heard of Matt Haig but not read/listened to any of his books before!

I’ve not heard of the back pack theory before. This sounds really interesting and I’m going to read up on it. What other visuals do you like?

Thank you for such a lovely reply! I wish this thread was more active because the people who comment are so kind.

It's really difficult to stop something you are passionate about, but when it comes to the detriment of your wellbeing, it's important to take responsibility and make sure you protect yourself. I was very interested in politics, and so is my partner. I had to massively disengage because I realised I was getting really affected by something I could never change. My partner is still very much interested, but I've seen how it negatively impacts them, and I've had to put up a boundary for them not to discuss it with me.

I hope you like the backpack theory I learned about it when I was in a psychology class. I can't think of any others off the top of my head but there's also the spoon theory, which I read helps others understand what it's like to live witch chronic fatigue/pain so if you've not heard of it you might relate due to your diagnosis.

I also read non-fiction. I struggle to read fictional books, but I enjoyed the midnight library, and the reason to stay alive isn't fictional. However, I'm sure his books are available in audio form. When I'm really struggling and I'm at full capacity I listen to the mindset changing podcast. I've learned a breathing technique through it that massively helps.

I really hope you start to feel better soon. Sometimes, we don't realise we have to change things that we do have control of. I feel it really helps. Have you looked at any grounding exercises ?

 

[thegirlscout]

It's really difficult to stop something you are passionate about, but when it comes to the detriment of your wellbeing, it's important to take responsibility and make sure you protect yourself. I was very interested in politics, and so is my partner. I had to massively disengage because I realised I was getting really affected by something I could never change. My partner is still very much interested, but I've seen how it negatively impacts them, and I've had to put up a boundary for them not to discuss it with me.

I hope you like the backpack theory I learned about it when I was in a psychology class. I can't think of any others off the top of my head but there's also the spoon theory, which I read helps others understand what it's like to live witch chronic fatigue/pain so if you've not heard of it you might relate due to your diagnosis.

I also read non-fiction. I struggle to read fictional books, but I enjoyed the midnight library, and the reason to stay alive isn't fictional. However, I'm sure his books are available in audio form. When I'm really struggling and I'm at full capacity I listen to the mindset changing podcast. I've learned a breathing technique through it that massively helps.

I really hope you start to feel better soon. Sometimes, we don't realise we have to change things that we do have control of. I feel it really helps. Have you looked at any grounding exercises ?

You’re right that its personal responsibility is definitely part of treatment with depression. I have cut down quite a bit of viewing the news but some stories I just can’t seem to tear myself away from which is very frustrating. I think I’m going to have to be strong and when I know I’m making myself upset over it to disengage immediately. I’m hoping that the more often I do this, the more natural it becomes if that makes sense?

I find the spoon theory helpful when my M.E is bad and it’s good to narrow down what is important and what isn’t. I feel like in the moment of stress or low mood I often forget things like grounding exercises (which I’ve heard of but not really learned much about), podcasts etc. I was thinking, because I have a spare notebook, (I’m lying I have several ) I was going to write all these things down, book recommendations, quotes, the theories etc so when I have a panic or low mood I can easily grab it and go through the suggestions. But I don’t know if that’s a stupid idea

Is this the podcast? Not 100% sure

 

[supers0nic]

You’re right that its personal responsibility is definitely part of treatment with depression. I have cut down quite a bit of viewing the news but some stories I just can’t seem to tear myself away from which is very frustrating. I think I’m going to have to be strong and when I know I’m making myself upset over it to disengage immediately. I’m hoping that the more often I do this, the more natural it becomes if that makes sense?

I find the spoon theory helpful when my M.E is bad and it’s good to narrow down what is important and what isn’t. I feel like in the moment of stress or low mood I often forget things like grounding exercises (which I’ve heard of but not really learned much about), podcasts etc. I was thinking, because I have a spare notebook, (I’m lying I have several ) I was going to write all these things down, book recommendations, quotes, the theories etc so when I have a panic or low mood I can easily grab it and go through the suggestions. But I don’t know if that’s a stupid idea

Is this the podcast? Not 100% sure
View attachment 3393272

Definitely be kind to yourself, its really hard to change the circumstances you can change, just being self aware enough to know what's causing some of your unhappiness is great.

I think the notepad idea is a great start, it gives you lots of things to choose from that can help you in a moment of distress. The best one for me is just a simple breathing exercise, it massively helps me get back in control. That's the podcast yes! I reccomend the peace of mind 10 minute meditation episode, when things get a little difficult just pop your earphones in. There's one for pain that's quite good too.

 

[thegirlscout]

Definitely be kind to yourself, its really hard to change the circumstances you can change, just being self aware enough to know what's causing some of your unhappiness is great.

I think the notepad idea is a great start, it gives you lots of things to choose from that can help you in a moment of distress. The best one for me is just a simple breathing exercise, it massively helps me get back in control. That's the podcast yes! I reccomend the peace of mind 10 minute meditation episode, when things get a little difficult just pop your earphones in. There's one for pain that's quite good too.

Do you have any specific breathing exercises you like?
Thank you for all the help, I really do appreciate it

 

[or JusRollWithIt]

Please continue here. You’re not alone.

Previous thread:

For anybody struggling ❤

This thread is created for anybody struggling as a safe place for discussion and support.

tattle.life

 

[Smell_my_cheese]

Hi everyone, I’ve just found this thread after another early wake up.
I’m not really coping very well at the moment. I’m due in court soon to try and sort out the finances in a very long ongoing messy divorce. My ex is controlling and has made life very difficult over the years.

I also have two children, both are autistic but my eldest in particular displays very challenging behaviour and I’ve come to realise I’m permanently in fight or flight mode.
I’m also a teacher and really struggling more than ever with the demands that the job brings.

I’m always worrying, always anxious. Im permanently having to stay calm and attempt to be regulated in order to try and regulate for my children (both my own and those in my class). I’m always thinking about work or having to email my solicitor, or my eldest’s school. There are always meetings I have to remember to attend for all three issues. I am exhausted and so miserable. I don’t see there’s any joy in life and it doesn’t feel like it will ever get any better.

Just writing it all down here because I feel so lonely. I have some friends but sympathy can only extend so far and none of them are single. No one really quite understands and when I spoke to a good friend about how low I felt, she thought the answer was just to send funny memes which somehow just made me feel even worse despite her good intentions. I often try to think of how I can injure myself in order to just have a bit of a break.

Maybe writing it all down will help. Sending good thoughts to all others on this thread going through their own struggles x

 

[yogiessexdubs]

Hi everyone, I’ve just found this thread after another early wake up.
I’m not really coping very well at the moment. I’m due in court soon to try and sort out the finances in a very long ongoing messy divorce. My ex is controlling and has made life very difficult over the years.

I also have two children, both are autistic but my eldest in particular displays very challenging behaviour and I’ve come to realise I’m permanently in fight or flight mode.
I’m also a teacher and really struggling more than ever with the demands that the job brings.

I’m always worrying, always anxious. Im permanently having to stay calm and attempt to be regulated in order to try and regulate for my children (both my own and those in my class). I’m always thinking about work or having to email my solicitor, or my eldest’s school. There are always meetings I have to remember to attend for all three issues. I am exhausted and so miserable. I don’t see there’s any joy in life and it doesn’t feel like it will ever get any better.

Just writing it all down here because I feel so lonely. I have some friends but sympathy can only extend so far and none of them are single. No one really quite understands and when I spoke to a good friend about how low I felt, she thought the answer was just to send funny memes which somehow just made me feel even worse despite her good intentions. I often try to think of how I can injure myself in order to just have a bit of a break.

Maybe writing it all down will help. Sending good thoughts to all others on this thread going through their own struggles x

I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone. Keep going however hard it is.
I had a complete mental breakdown Thurs & yesterday due to a work situation. It coincided with a therapy session thankfully & I completely broke down, my poor therapist was worried & now I feel kind of bad about that.
I too am permanently in fight or flight & am so anxious & a worrier. After speaking with HR I kind of ‘snapped out of it’ but I feel utterly embarrassed. Like you say, friends have their own problems & things going on, & I don’t trust many people at all.

 

[CrazyGiraffeLady]

You aren’t alone here

 

[Good Egg]

Just wanted to say thank you to those who reached out to me. I did seek some support and it has helped. I also asked a dear friend to help me. She’s been wonderful. I feel so sad and numb and I think it’s going to take a while to be normal again. This week has been tough. Lots of sleeping and crying.
Thank you all. I tried to reply but realised it’s in the old thread and I don’t know how to quote posts. I have read every one so thank you.
In that moment when I posted I felt so alone and scared and I frightened myself I think at how low I was. Thank you.

 

[Rocket Queen]

Hi everyone, I’ve just found this thread after another early wake up.
I’m not really coping very well at the moment. I’m due in court soon to try and sort out the finances in a very long ongoing messy divorce. My ex is controlling and has made life very difficult over the years.

I also have two children, both are autistic but my eldest in particular displays very challenging behaviour and I’ve come to realise I’m permanently in fight or flight mode.
I’m also a teacher and really struggling more than ever with the demands that the job brings.

I’m always worrying, always anxious. Im permanently having to stay calm and attempt to be regulated in order to try and regulate for my children (both my own and those in my class). I’m always thinking about work or having to email my solicitor, or my eldest’s school. There are always meetings I have to remember to attend for all three issues. I am exhausted and so miserable. I don’t see there’s any joy in life and it doesn’t feel like it will ever get any better.

Just writing it all down here because I feel so lonely. I have some friends but sympathy can only extend so far and none of them are single. No one really quite understands and when I spoke to a good friend about how low I felt, she thought the answer was just to send funny memes which somehow just made me feel even worse despite her good intentions. I often try to think of how I can injure myself in order to just have a bit of a break.

Maybe writing it all down will help. Sending good thoughts to all others on this thread going through their own struggles x

It sounds really tough for you - no wonder you are feeling anxious with so much going on. Two things I took from your post. Firstly you are doing an amazing job -,I get you are feeling exhausted and no wonder but you’re still going. And that’s everything. The second thing is that everything in life is temporary. The good times and the bad. There WILL be better days ahead for you. You are amazing xxx

 

[Jadejones9596]

Feel really tit.

All of my friends are meeting guys and as usual I’m still single. I’ve been single all my life and I just never meet anyone. Feel like there’s something wrong with me

 

[Silverback]

Feel really tit.

All of my friends are meeting guys and as usual I’m still single. I’ve been single all my life and I just never meet anyone. Feel like there’s something wrong with me

There’s nothing wrong with you. I’ve felt like you in the past- I only ever met wankers who were horrible to me or ghosted me. Married now to a good guy. Hang in there.

 

[Jadejones9596]

There’s nothing wrong with you. I’ve felt like you in the past- I only ever met wankers who were horrible to me or ghosted me. Married now to a good guy. Hang in there.

Thank you for responding. It’s really nice to read responses like this and it does make me feel reassured so thanks 🩷

 

[LaBlonde]

Feel really tit.

All of my friends are meeting guys and as usual I’m still single. I’ve been single all my life and I just never meet anyone. Feel like there’s something wrong with me

right there with you jade, and hope you’re doing okay, it’s an awful feeling. i went out with a friend yesterday who is dating loads and she said something like men are like buses aren’t they, wait forever and two come along at once because she can’t choose between them all and i was like ARE THEY? DO THEY? people keep saying it will happen when i least expect it or when i’m not looking and it literally never does or has. sick of feeling like an absolute failure about it 🥲

 

[qqwertyy]

Feel really tit.

All of my friends are meeting guys and as usual I’m still single. I’ve been single all my life and I just never meet anyone. Feel like there’s something wrong with me

I posted similar on the dating thread recently. I know it doesn’t help but you’re not alone x

 

[Jadejones9596]

right there with you jade, and hope you’re doing okay, it’s an awful feeling. i went out with a friend yesterday who is dating loads and she said something like men are like buses aren’t they, wait forever and two come along at once because she can’t choose between them all and i was like ARE THEY? DO THEY? people keep saying it will happen when i least expect it or when i’m not looking and it literally never does or has. sick of feeling like an absolute failure about it 🥲

It’s literally like you’ve gone into my brain and spelled out my thoughts!! It’s horrible I just feel so unlovable. I’ve had a few good months with my MH but I’m feeling so tit again and I just don’t know if I’ll ever meet someone nice it really gets me down.

it is oddly nice to know I’m not alone so thank you guys so much xx

 

[Good Egg]

Feel really tit.

All of my friends are meeting guys and as usual I’m still single. I’ve been single all my life and I just never meet anyone. Feel like there’s something wrong with me

There is nothing wrong with you. Trust me.

i just want to say you can be with a guy, and it finishes and you can feel the same like there is something wrong with you….

men are pigs, look after your own happiness and never settle. Work on you, find you, find what makes you happy - this is so important- the rest will follow. Lots of love x

 

[WeHadFunRight]

I consider myself fairly resilient but I just got an email from one of the execs and I just want to burst into tears. Initially I thought he’d replied with all the exec in copy which thankfully he didn’t but my head is about to explode. I’m obviously feeling really sensitive today and like everything is on top of me.

 

[supers0nic]

Do you have any specific breathing exercises you like?
Thank you for all the help, I really do appreciate it

I like the one in that episode I've mentioned, I use it regularly and it really helps. As long as you take your breath from your stomach, hold for a few seconds and exhale it really helps. How have things been for you recently? I hope you've found thinks that have allowed you to feel more in control