if the answer to “does he make you happy?” is “sometimes”, that’s not a good enough reason to stay. life’s too short to be with someone who only “sometimes” makes you happy
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100%! It won’t be easy but it will be worth it and this time next year, you will be glad.
I'm feeling really low and depleted. Police are really hit and miss about my stalking case. I can't get any victim support at all. I keep being assured that police are investigating him, but I don't know anything else and sometimes I worry whether the officer in charge of my case has even read my statements. I put in a complaint, but just got told they're definitely moving towards arrest, no response to why they never call me when they say they're going to, or what help I can get.
Meanwhile my stalker is out there living his life, has his family and a new relationship, his happy little life where everyone thinks he's a great guy. I'm so tired.
Meanwhile my stalker is out there living his life, has his family and a new relationship, his happy little life where everyone thinks he's a great guy. I'm so tired.
Do you respect him … he should want to be in an equal partnership- building and growing and improving. What is he doing all day? You need an adult life partner- not a dependent. Your son will be fine because he has you
And think of the example being set to your son. You want a better life for himDo you respect him … he should want to be in an equal partnership- building and growing and improving. What is he doing all day? You need an adult life partner- not a dependent. Your son will be fine because he has you
Have you tried a stalking charity for support, maybe Paladin NSAS?
You said you had rows & the police had been involved. Your son wasn’t there. What would happen if say he moved in & these rows happened with your son present? Would you want your son to hear & see?
You’ve asked him for help & he hasn’t.
If this was anyone else what would you tell them?
Or if this was happening to your son? What would you say to him?
It's been an absolutely insane day on the phone with all of them. Paladin's books are full so they aren't taking new cases right now. Most places say that it's not under their remit because since my stalker is my ex boyfriend, it's legally under domestic abuse. But domestic abuse places say they can't help with stalking. I feel insane. Done nothing all day but get passed from pillar to post like this. Police didn't even know what to do.
I think the fact you’ve wrote this shows you can do better. Don’t worry about your son, he has you! You sound like a great mum and provider - maybe just say to your partner what you need and see what he says? As in you’re serious and you know your worth
Do you know of the Suzy Lamplugh Trust? They once gave a friend of mine phone support.
He is what mumsnet would call a cocklodger. Free food, free board, what's not to love for him? What an absolute waster!
Your boy has only known him a year, he will soon forget about him.
Feeling so low, having constant health issues and now my teeth are failing me and having major toothache. I feel like I’ve had enough atp
I empathise majorly. I'm in almost exactly the same boat, especially with the teeth. I was put on Sertraline about a month ago which I think is the only thing still holding me together, as usually I'd have hit rock bottom by now, but I know that it can also be bad for your teeth so I feel I can't win really.
I’m sorry your in the same boat as me
wish you the bestThank you, and I wish you the best too. It's rubbishI’m sorry your in the same boat as me
I am struggling.
My now ex bf pushed me during a fight and I have a broken bone in my foot. The triage nurse asked me if I had anything else to be looked at because I was, in her words, covered in bruises.
My ex is an alcoholic and I reported him several times for driving (if he was stopped any time any day or night he would be over the limit) and he was pulled over and in his view I am the one who has ruined his life (he was nearly 4 times the limit)
My now ex bf pushed me during a fight and I have a broken bone in my foot. The triage nurse asked me if I had anything else to be looked at because I was, in her words, covered in bruises.
My ex is an alcoholic and I reported him several times for driving (if he was stopped any time any day or night he would be over the limit) and he was pulled over and in his view I am the one who has ruined his life (he was nearly 4 times the limit)
can you get away from him? Be careful he sounds dangerous, and being an ex things could escalate
You didn’t cause his behaviour - he did. Being pushed hard enough to break a bone and having multiple bruises is not something anyone should minimise. And reporting someone who is nearly four times the limit isn’t vindictive; it’s preventing a potential tragedy.You acted responsibly in a situation where he wasn’t able to. That doesn’t make you the villain - it makes you someone who refused to ignore danger.
I am away from him x its just hard when I love him so much but I have to accept that he neither loves or respects me, or tbh, himself.
Like I would go to his house from a sunday to Wednesday. He would have done nothing in that time frame so I would have to clean up the house, and also literally put him in the bath and bathe him because he wouldn't have done it himself from when I left.
Been a bit nervous to post in here as I can appreciate that all of my issues are "first world problems" but I'm just a bit overwhelmed.
My wedding planning is getting on top of me and I'm a bit overwhelmed by everything to do with it. It takes SO much planning for just one day! I also really struggle to ask people for help and I don't really want to delegate too much to my partner as he has taken on the brunt of planning our once-in-a-lifetime trip to Japan that we are taking in August. First world problem, I know.
My cat has also had 11 teeth removed on Friday and getting her to eat has been such a long ordeal. I'm really worried about her, and I think she's a bit stressed as I think I found a poop on the sofa yesterday. She has got a habit of getting her poop stuck to her and then running around with it attached to her and this has happened at least 3 times before, but I also didn't see what happened as I was in a different room at the time. I'm really worried she's now using the bathroom elsewhere because she's stressed because her food has changed (she likes her dry food the most but can't have them until she's recovered from her surgery which will take 10 to 14 days). I'm worried my partner and I are stressing her out because we've taken her to the vets twice in the last few days (for the surgery and then her post-op) and that she's really affected, which is in turn stressing me out even more.
I've also just been spoken to like I'm some twit by my sister's other bridesmaid who thought I was trying to interfere with a group gift that I'm not part of as I've politely declined it as I can't afford it due to the aforementioned dental surgery for my cat, which came around quite suddenly and isn't covered by her insurance as most dental work isn't. My sister simply asked me a question about her wedding jewellery so I sent a message to the group chat we have without her to say "heads up, my sister has asked about [the gift you're looking to give her] so you may want to dissuade her!". All of her other bridesmaids understood. The one organising the gift has laid into me saying "I don't understand as YOU pulled out and now suddenly you're interested again?" followed up with "whatever. it's all for [bride] anyway I guess", totally misunderstanding my point, and lashing out. When I cleared up what I meant she didn't apologise but instead said "Thanks, glad we cleared that up [Jojida]!" and misspelled my name as some kind of microaggression instead of simply saying "sorry I over reacted". I obviously can't speak to my sister about this as she's stressed enough. I'm now debating whether I should say anything after the wedding but I probably will have changed my mind by the time it comes around.
Work has been really stressful as one of the partners of the firm has it out for my department and clearly wants my manager to leave or be sacked. She's said as much to me in passing before I even joined the department and had no prospects at that time of joining the company as she'd said "If [manager] makes one more mistake, I'll have her out of this company". I'm just really overwhelmed.
On top of all that, I thought I was doing great with my grief and suddenly I've had a set back recently and just really miss my mum.
The incident with my sister's bridesmaid happened this morning and has really upset me as I just wanted to me helpful and it's been totally misconstrued. I'm just so overwhelmed and need to take a step back but don't have the luxury. Just wanted to get it all off my chest.
My wedding planning is getting on top of me and I'm a bit overwhelmed by everything to do with it. It takes SO much planning for just one day! I also really struggle to ask people for help and I don't really want to delegate too much to my partner as he has taken on the brunt of planning our once-in-a-lifetime trip to Japan that we are taking in August. First world problem, I know.
My cat has also had 11 teeth removed on Friday and getting her to eat has been such a long ordeal. I'm really worried about her, and I think she's a bit stressed as I think I found a poop on the sofa yesterday. She has got a habit of getting her poop stuck to her and then running around with it attached to her and this has happened at least 3 times before, but I also didn't see what happened as I was in a different room at the time. I'm really worried she's now using the bathroom elsewhere because she's stressed because her food has changed (she likes her dry food the most but can't have them until she's recovered from her surgery which will take 10 to 14 days). I'm worried my partner and I are stressing her out because we've taken her to the vets twice in the last few days (for the surgery and then her post-op) and that she's really affected, which is in turn stressing me out even more.
I've also just been spoken to like I'm some twit by my sister's other bridesmaid who thought I was trying to interfere with a group gift that I'm not part of as I've politely declined it as I can't afford it due to the aforementioned dental surgery for my cat, which came around quite suddenly and isn't covered by her insurance as most dental work isn't. My sister simply asked me a question about her wedding jewellery so I sent a message to the group chat we have without her to say "heads up, my sister has asked about [the gift you're looking to give her] so you may want to dissuade her!". All of her other bridesmaids understood. The one organising the gift has laid into me saying "I don't understand as YOU pulled out and now suddenly you're interested again?" followed up with "whatever. it's all for [bride] anyway I guess", totally misunderstanding my point, and lashing out. When I cleared up what I meant she didn't apologise but instead said "Thanks, glad we cleared that up [Jojida]!" and misspelled my name as some kind of microaggression instead of simply saying "sorry I over reacted". I obviously can't speak to my sister about this as she's stressed enough. I'm now debating whether I should say anything after the wedding but I probably will have changed my mind by the time it comes around.
Work has been really stressful as one of the partners of the firm has it out for my department and clearly wants my manager to leave or be sacked. She's said as much to me in passing before I even joined the department and had no prospects at that time of joining the company as she'd said "If [manager] makes one more mistake, I'll have her out of this company". I'm just really overwhelmed.
On top of all that, I thought I was doing great with my grief and suddenly I've had a set back recently and just really miss my mum.
The incident with my sister's bridesmaid happened this morning and has really upset me as I just wanted to me helpful and it's been totally misconstrued. I'm just so overwhelmed and need to take a step back but don't have the luxury. Just wanted to get it all off my chest.