I'm sorry your going through this you need to contact the Police and the council, you cant be having all that.Its blatant harrassment, they can get ASBOs if they continue and they wont want that.The Police DiD come out and help me when I was having problems getting sworn at by next door.
Not at 3.30am on a midweek night, no! They sound inconsiderate and I'm sorry you're having to put up with this
you and your partner have clearly been more than nice especially with the present gifted for after the work was completed! Gosh I would be screaming hello over the fence if someone did that for me. Anyway I do agree with the above. It is and will be tough. You’ve tried to be nice now just be civil. I personally think it speaks more on them then you. If you live next to shitty people their behaviour is just that shitty. I know it would be nice to live in a area with supportive kind neighbours but it just sometimes doesn’t happen. And why should you and your family need to relocate due to them being rude!I have the same one neighbour waves I wave back. Other neighbours ignore us. I’m civil in the fact if we make eye contact I’ll be polite and say hi but I don’t break my back like I would have with. I have now given up on one particular neighbour who dirty looks me up and down and scowls at me when we pass each other which had me thinking what have I done? I did nothing but be polite so that has resulted in me not acknowledging her. It’s awkward at first but in time but now is the normal. Hope you get to a happy medium and it’s unfair for you and your family to live in a lovely house and feel like you've done wrong.Stopped a year ago. To be honest I just think I need to grow a thicker skin. I get quite socially anxious and so overthink even simple social interactions so this is a nightmare situation for me because I hugely overthink what we have done to upset people and then invariably get angry when I come to the same conclusion that we really haven’t done anything wrongI wish there was an easier way to grow a thicker skin!
Rarely I suppose.
What have they done to make you feel so unsafe?? It's horrible to feel like that in your own home
We’ve had similar. Accused of all sorts, can’t sit in garden, numerous takeaways to us, banging doors, parties, loud music, bbq on joining wall so smoke comes over, Banging on adjoining house walls, things thrown into garden - food, cigarettes, wrappings..... We’ve also kept a diary. It’s a pain but worth it.
Theres one thing not speaking but its another thing accusing you of things you havent done. All kids make noise you cant stop a child from shouting etc my neighbours kid is always screaming and shouting but it doesn't bother me.
We also had problems with our neighbours !!!! We also had a extension, both sides signed no problem.. we were always polite and I would always send Christmas cards and go out of my way to speak to people down the street. My teenagers made friends with the neighbours children and they would make cakes, go out into town, cinema and have sleep overs .... then they grew apart because they went to college and made different friends. My children still spoke via text. Then the whole family stopped speaking to us !!!! They see us and don’t make any eye contact !!!!! In fact I’ve seen one of them in the supermarket and they will turn around and walk away !!!!!Looking for some advice or someone to say something that will stop me dwelling on this. It’s getting us down to the point that we don’t see any option other than to move.
we moved into our house 7 years ago and bought an absolute wreck - the house had been lived in by an old lady who for the last few years she lived here was restricted to living downstairs. We have had to completely renovate and have also built an extension - all done above board. Neighbours we are not attached to opposed our planning permission but it went through as they had no valid grounds to oppose - ironically we have built exactly what they did 10 years previous. We advised that we were planning on doing work a year before it started and they were very nice at the time saying that they understood we needed space for our growing family, I told them an architect was coming to do some drawings and said that we would endeavour to keep it as stress free for them as possible. I could write pages and pages about the problems they caused during the build (at one point she phoned my employer and made up a false complaint about me) but at all stages we tried to rise above it, explain our situation calmly and clearly and consulted them when appropriate until they became too controlling for this to be possible. I was heavily pregnant at the time and them threatening injunctions etc was very upsetting and stressful. The neighbours the other side have always kept themselves to themselves, failed to engage in the party wall process at all and just pretend like we don’t exist. Sent a nice bottle of wine and chocolates over at the end of the work to say sorry for any disruption and it wasn’t even acknowledged.
Being ignored has been getting us down- especially at the end of 12 weeks of limited social contact with anyone so my husband and I discussed that we would adopt a ‘kill them with kindness approach’ continue to wave and say good morning etc. My husband has said hello this morning and was completely ignored.... it’s really getting me down - it upsets me that people have such strong negative feelings towards us but we don’t know why/ can’t do anything to try and explain our position.
We have two children and friends round occasionally but always try to be mindful of the neighbours and are as considerate as we can be - I ensure that the children don’t shout and scream in the garden and despite I am sure making a few naive errors (doing DIY on a weekend etc when we first moved in) have always tried to be as good neighbours as possible. Our adjoining neighbours have had a tough few years so I suspect that things that are in the grand scheme of things low level annoying to most, have perhaps been more irritating to them
We are so upset by it we really see no option but to move, but I am not sure it’s the best decision for us at the moment. I wondered if anyone had some advice that could help us to get a thicker skin and learn to live with it. It just feels like such a toxic situation to be living through.
Crumbs this is like reading our current situation, so much so I wondered if your post was older than it was and related to my neighbours before we moved onto this new estate.Looking for some advice or someone to say something that will stop me dwelling on this. It’s getting us down to the point that we don’t see any option other than to move.
we moved into our house 7 years ago and bought an absolute wreck - the house had been lived in by an old lady who for the last few years she lived here was restricted to living downstairs. We have had to completely renovate and have also built an extension - all done above board. Neighbours we are not attached to opposed our planning permission but it went through as they had no valid grounds to oppose - ironically we have built exactly what they did 10 years previous. We advised that we were planning on doing work a year before it started and they were very nice at the time saying that they understood we needed space for our growing family, I told them an architect was coming to do some drawings and said that we would endeavour to keep it as stress free for them as possible. I could write pages and pages about the problems they caused during the build (at one point she phoned my employer and made up a false complaint about me) but at all stages we tried to rise above it, explain our situation calmly and clearly and consulted them when appropriate until they became too controlling for this to be possible. I was heavily pregnant at the time and them threatening injunctions etc was very upsetting and stressful. The neighbours the other side have always kept themselves to themselves, failed to engage in the party wall process at all and just pretend like we don’t exist. Sent a nice bottle of wine and chocolates over at the end of the work to say sorry for any disruption and it wasn’t even acknowledged.
Being ignored has been getting us down- especially at the end of 12 weeks of limited social contact with anyone so my husband and I discussed that we would adopt a ‘kill them with kindness approach’ continue to wave and say good morning etc. My husband has said hello this morning and was completely ignored.... it’s really getting me down - it upsets me that people have such strong negative feelings towards us but we don’t know why/ can’t do anything to try and explain our position.
We have two children and friends round occasionally but always try to be mindful of the neighbours and are as considerate as we can be - I ensure that the children don’t shout and scream in the garden and despite I am sure making a few naive errors (doing DIY on a weekend etc when we first moved in) have always tried to be as good neighbours as possible. Our adjoining neighbours have had a tough few years so I suspect that things that are in the grand scheme of things low level annoying to most, have perhaps been more irritating to them
We are so upset by it we really see no option but to move, but I am not sure it’s the best decision for us at the moment. I wondered if anyone had some advice that could help us to get a thicker skin and learn to live with it. It just feels like such a toxic situation to be living through.
Thank you for this - it’s genuinely helping to know that we aren’t the only people this has happened to and that in all likelihood we haven’t done anything heinous to upset people. One neighbour was very similar to the one you describe, making life exceptionally difficult for builders etc. Doesn’t help she is a compulsive liar. Also very aware that we could move and the same thing happen as it seems so much more widespread than I had ever realised!We have lived in our house 12 years our neighbours moved in a couple of years after us. We got along well, hello how are you, took in parcels etc. We were having an extension we are detached, they objected to our planning application and were refused and it went ahead. The wife, blocked access for deliveries with her car, was rude to myself and builders, it was super stressful now I'm just hi, at the most, I wont forget how she behaved but I wont move because of her and I would advise you to do the same. We had our garden landscaped it looks amazing during lockdown I have the byfolds open so she can see in! I think it's just jealousy. Enjoy your extension, some people and petty and jealous
I took it personally, as you know having any kind of building work done is stressful, the mess expense etc. She made life very difficult, but she had in the past told me both her mother and sister have severe depression, I think her state of mind had alot to do with her reactions. I just enjoy my home, its improved our family life dramatically. Enjoy your home, I like previous quoters worry if neighbours like me or not, we get on really well with neighbours the other side. Enjoy yourself and your home, your neighbours sound miserable
Thank you, it was again last night. How they are so rich and keep their businesses running I’ve no idea!Not at 3.30am on a midweek night, no! They sound inconsiderate and I'm sorry you're having to put up with this
Thanks, after my experience of nicely approaching my last neighbours I’m fearful! I have PTSD and they were family that have tried to ruin our lives and we had to sell.
