I’ve lost a few friendships over the last couple of years, including someone I was friend’s with for over 30 years but it got to a point where it was very clear she thought her life was more important than mine as she was married and had children (none on my other friends made me feel like this) and she had no time for me. Would hardly be in touch and if we did arrange something it would have to revolve around her and what she wanted to do, and made it feel like she had to fit me in, and would always be late, couldn’t really ask her for advice as she had a way of making me feel like my life was irrelevant. I opened up to a few times when I was at my lowest and she basically made me feel like I was draining. She told other friends that she didn’t think I was happy but would do nothing to help me. I’d text her and she’d reply 2 weeks later. Would buy her kids birthday presents and her a Christmas present but wouldnt get a thank you or get anything in return when we used to always do gifts.
It got to a point where I dreaded seeing her and felt really tit after seeing her. It all came to a bit of a head when I tried to confide in her in person about something and she ignored me. I was talking and she didn’t say a word to anything I was saying and there was a very awkward silence. She text me after I left and said sorry don’t want to get involved and it made me realise that I was done. It’s hard as we have mutual friends and she even tried to talk to me after a year at a party but I couldn’t have a fake conversation with someone I was so close with from a toddler, who now is a stranger. I found out her sister was ill last year so I reached out and text her and heard nothing back, not even a thanks, which hurt but I’ve made peace with it now, we’re just different people and have different values in what we want from a friendship.
I do believe you have different friends through different stages of your life but I have no time now for people you can’t rely on or who you dread seeing or who you end up moaning about, so have lost a few of these over the last 4 years. I am lucky that I do have some very good friends and made one of my closest friends only a few years ago. We met through work and just clicked. She lives in Scotland, I’m in East Anglia but we talk everyday and I would’ve struggled a lot this past year without her.