Ex boyfriend's behaviour is baffling me

[ClockworkDolly]

As hard as it is for you to break up with him, I think, for your own sanity, you should walk away. He sounds like he doesn’t know what he wants and if he was wanting to follow his ex-girlfriend on Instagram, then maybe his feelings are muddled.

Be the stronger one for you both. One day you will find someone who will appreciate you and he will be a distant memory.

I wish you the best of luck.

 

[1001 others]

I don't think he knows what he wants - he sounds confused, and his behaviour mirrors exactly that of an ex-boyfriend I was seeing in my mid-20s.

My advice is to cut him loose and don't look back (sorry, but you will thank your lucky stars when looking back if you do; if you stayed with him I doubt he'd change).

 

[HoneyBee29]

You need to both sit down and have a serious conversation and decide whether you both want to stay together and try to work on things or go your separate ways, none of this back & forth it’s a complete waste of your time and his not to mention a complete mind duck you either want to be with the person and make a good go of of it and try and work through the issues or you don’t

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

Please, from experience, get yourself some serious space and distance to think long a d hard about what you really want. Take the time to work on yourself. This is a really toxic relationship and it’s just going to continue as it is.

personally, I was seeing someone on and off for a year, more off than on. He was always so negative, only wanting to see me on his terms, putting his friends, pubs, lads hols, football trips first etc... then said to me “I’m single, so leave me alone and move on”.. I was hurt but told myself enough is enough, blocking unblocking, removing me as a friend then adding me again, it’s all just a mind duck! So I put serious distance between, started to feel happy again, had some time alone and mentally got myself into a good place... started talking to someone else and we started to spend time together, few months later my ex finds out and decided he was now ready for me back... he just hated the fact I hadn’t ran after him and had moved on and found someone who actually treated me with respect and wanted to be with me.... this was 3 years ago and my ex STILL stalks me, watches my every move, stalks my boyfriends social media, his mum and dads, stalks my work, Google’s my name and goes and likes old photos on Facebook etc from years ago on his many fake profiles etc.... he sends abusive messages calling me a large slut, a tramp, that I’ve no friends, everyone hates me, I’m a money grabber, can’t get clothes to fit,all his friends laugh at me, I’m weird, I make him sick, have thunder thighs, etc everyday is fresh abuse, I can’t post anything personal on social media as he watches everything.

sorry, I know it isn’t the same as your relationship but I am currently going through a toxic relationship with my ex who won’t leave me alone, so my advice would be to you, to distance yourself and get the space you need before you both just end up in a similar cycle.

toxic relationships only ever really end one way and both of you will just become so drained and fed up. Don’t waste your time, your energy or your mental health fighting for something that will only drain the life from you in the long run x

 

[BettyCrocker]

You need to both sit down and have a serious conversation and decide whether you both want to stay together and try to work on things or go your separate ways, none of this back & forth it’s a complete waste of your time and his not to mention a complete mind duck you either want to be with the person and make a good go of of it and try and work through the issues or you don’t

He’s 24 years old, he’s not interested in having serious conversations about it - he’s interested in getting his leg over and that’s about it. He’s much too young to be thinking about much else.
The relationship is over. This lady just needs to put a stop to all the back & forth nonsense and call it a day. Anything else is just a fruitless waste of everyone’s time.

 

[Gemgemgemgem]

He sounds very immature. I get he's 24 but...wow. 24 is a man's age, you need a man not some little man child who won't talk bout feelings. If he valued yours, he'd listen.

And to be honest, you too sound like you have lost yourself in this situation and it seems you have played games too. You sound like a really lovely person and deserve better. I know it's hard, but make sure busy week for yourself - clean anything and everything, meet friends.....anything to keep yourself busy. Then block him. Don't unblock him ever again. The first week will be hard so keep busy. It'll get easier until one day you won't think of him again.

 

[Missmadness]

If he wanted to be with you-he would be.You sound nice,I think he’s playing on your good nature.Block him and move on.

 

[at-the-disco]

thank you for all the advice guys it's really helped

 

[Missgobby124]

Sounds really toxic and harmful, not just for you but for him too. I think you should’ve left it and not looked back once he followed his ex because that’s just unforgivable and hurtful. To me, it seems like he’s majorly confused and unsure about what he wants and you don’t need that. Block him everywhere, don’t look back and keep on moving forward. Life will reward you with someone you’re meant to be with and you’ll look back and not believe you let someone treat you like how he did. Toxic isn’t something that can ever be fixed

 

[Babyyoda88]

As someone who wasted 10 years with the wrong person (all my late teens and most of my 20s) please don’t waste your time on someone who is showing they really can’t be bothered putting the time into your relationship. It does sound really toxic and this is your chance to get out, start afresh with life and meet someone else. When you do go on to meet someone else and you’re so happy, you’ll be so pleased with yourself that you were brave enough to move on (it isn’t easy at first but it definitely gets better). Good luck to you x

 

[sapphiccharm]

If you're breaking up this many times in such a short space of time, going to extremes of blocking, etc, ghosting and ignoring messages and just generally unable to sit down and be open and honest and have an adult conversation together then this is not the relationship for you. It's toxic and childish and the resentment you hold against this person will continue to grow with each argument and subsequent break up. It honestly sounds like you both need some sort of therapy and to stop acting out and being so volatile with the way you react to things. Go your own separate ways, work on yourself for yourself, gain confidence and do whatever you have to do. Who knows, you could meet this person a couple of years down the line and actually be in a healthy relationship. Or you could meet someone else. But for now, let go and move on.