Ex boyfriend's behaviour is baffling me

[Lauz666]

Babe. Run a mile. Block all contact. Or you'll be dealing with this on off relationship pain for the years to come.
He's not the one for you

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

It sounds toxic and if I were you I would speak to an (online?) therapist.

Your reactions seem quite extreme (blocking, telling him to eff off) and he sounds like he das a somewhat disorganized attachment style

 

[BettyCrocker]

This is not a relationship. The two of you aren’t meant to be together. Just accept it now, stop all the back and forth nonsense- it’s all unnecessary drama that you don’t need. It’s not going anywhere. Delete and block him across all social media, change your number and just move on. Save your time - he’s honestly not worth all of this agro.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Block and move on. It’s beyond fixing and all that’s left to do.

You can’t block and then run back. He’s coming back to see if he still has access to you, that’s all.

 

[LunaLovegood]

What a head fuck. To be honest though can you really see yourself being happy with this guy long term when this is what you would be building from? Think I’d be thinking it’s time to move on. You have my full sympathy trying to date during a pandemic it must be really difficult x

 

[OutrageouslyScarlet]

i am 26, and he's 2 years younger than me. yes i agree, i feel there is no effort being made to actually try and work on things together, and every time i bring it up i feel like im walking on eggshells

It’s sounds very messy. And once you start blocking each other it gets toxic really messes with each other’s heads.
Perhaps tell him what you are feeling and if he wants to give it another try then communication is key.
I’ve had a few messy relationships and an ex who refused to discuss anything of meaning. It’s frustrating and ultimately lonely.

 

[BettyCrocker]

honestly...i am a 26 year old grown woman having to deal with this crap! i have never been in a relationship as invested as this one, i saw my future etc. so i think that's why im struggling to let go. i feel like i should've dealt with a painful breakup like this back in my late teens/early twenties haha

you don’t have to deal with this crap though, that’s the whole point. You are not at this guys beck & call. Your relationship is over. That’s obvious. So just stop. Stop with all the drama. Stop with the social media stalking - seeing who he’s following etc. Just stop. It’s over so take the high road - draw a line under it and move on with your own life. There’s absolutely nothing to be gained here by giving this nonsense anymore of your time or energy.

 

[laughing]

Be the grown up and tell him this relationship does not work for you.

Wish him well.

And move on.

If he keeps texting you, block him again but this time, don't unblock him again.

 

[under the ivy]

It doesn’t sound a healthy relationship. Think of your needs - if he’s not giving you want you want then respectfully get rid. Break-ups aren’t nice (I know, I got dumped in first lockdown) but you need to think about yourself in the long-run. Take care x

 

[Fizzwhizz2020]

honestly...i am a 26 year old grown woman having to deal with this crap! i have never been in a relationship as invested as this one, i saw my future etc. so i think that's why im struggling to let go. i feel like i should've dealt with a painful breakup like this back in my late teens/early twenties haha

I feel for you, but I went through the same thing after being with someone over 8 yrs and I was in my early 30’s. If a man wants you he will make the effort it’s that simple. Words are cheap as chips and if he has no actions to back up his words, it sounds like he wants his cake and the cream on top hun. Don’t concentrate on what he’s thinking because you’ll never know. Have a think about what you want out of life and a relationship. If he won’t give you what you want, there will be someone else that will, I promise. Decide what it is that you want and how you want to be made to feel. A relationship is meant to enhance your life and this guy is just taking bits of it away x

 

[OutrageouslyScarlet]

May I ask how you old you both are?
He seems to be acting very immaturely. If he actually wants to make it work he’ll discuss the issues you have. If he point blank refuses I think you know you can’t carry on. As the issues will keep coming up.

 

[Missmadness]

If he wanted to be with you-he would be.You sound nice,I think he’s playing on your good nature.Block him and move on.

 

[BettyCrocker]

You need to both sit down and have a serious conversation and decide whether you both want to stay together and try to work on things or go your separate ways, none of this back & forth it’s a complete waste of your time and his not to mention a complete mind fuck you either want to be with the person and make a good go of of it and try and work through the issues or you don’t

He’s 24 years old, he’s not interested in having serious conversations about it - he’s interested in getting his leg over and that’s about it. He’s much too young to be thinking about much else.
The relationship is over. This lady just needs to put a stop to all the back & forth nonsense and call it a day. Anything else is just a fruitless waste of everyone’s time.

 

[BettyCrocker]

i am 26, and he's 2 years younger than me. yes i agree, i feel there is no effort being made to actually try and work on things together, and every time i bring it up i feel like im walking on eggshells

hes 24..... so he’s a baby!!!!!!!! He’s just a daft little boy who has absolutely no clue about real life or real adult relationships or anything else. He’s not worth your time.

 

[ClockworkDolly]

As hard as it is for you to break up with him, I think, for your own sanity, you should walk away. He sounds like he doesn’t know what he wants and if he was wanting to follow his ex-girlfriend on Instagram, then maybe his feelings are muddled.

Be the stronger one for you both. One day you will find someone who will appreciate you and he will be a distant memory.

I wish you the best of luck.

 

[1001 others]

I don't think he knows what he wants - he sounds confused, and his behaviour mirrors exactly that of an ex-boyfriend I was seeing in my mid-20s.

My advice is to cut him loose and don't look back (sorry, but you will thank your lucky stars when looking back if you do; if you stayed with him I doubt he'd change).

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

Please, from experience, get yourself some serious space and distance to think long a d hard about what you really want. Take the time to work on yourself. This is a really toxic relationship and it’s just going to continue as it is.

personally, I was seeing someone on and off for a year, more off than on. He was always so negative, only wanting to see me on his terms, putting his friends, pubs, lads hols, football trips first etc... then said to me “I’m single, so leave me alone and move on”.. I was hurt but told myself enough is enough, blocking unblocking, removing me as a friend then adding me again, it’s all just a mind fuck! So I put serious distance between, started to feel happy again, had some time alone and mentally got myself into a good place... started talking to someone else and we started to spend time together, few months later my ex finds out and decided he was now ready for me back... he just hated the fact I hadn’t ran after him and had moved on and found someone who actually treated me with respect and wanted to be with me.... this was 3 years ago and my ex STILL stalks me, watches my every move, stalks my boyfriends social media, his mum and dads, stalks my work, Google’s my name and goes and likes old photos on Facebook etc from years ago on his many fake profiles etc.... he sends abusive messages calling me a fat slut, a tramp, that I’ve no friends, everyone hates me, I’m a money grabber, can’t get clothes to fit,all his friends laugh at me, I’m ugly, I make him sick, have thunder thighs, etc everyday is fresh abuse, I can’t post anything personal on social media as he watches everything.

sorry, I know it isn’t the same as your relationship but I am currently going through a toxic relationship with my ex who won’t leave me alone, so my advice would be to you, to distance yourself and get the space you need before you both just end up in a similar cycle.

toxic relationships only ever really end one way and both of you will just become so drained and fed up. Don’t waste your time, your energy or your mental health fighting for something that will only drain the life from you in the long run x

 

[Missgobby124]

Sounds really toxic and harmful, not just for you but for him too. I think you should’ve left it and not looked back once he followed his ex because that’s just unforgivable and hurtful. To me, it seems like he’s majorly confused and unsure about what he wants and you don’t need that. Block him everywhere, don’t look back and keep on moving forward. Life will reward you with someone you’re meant to be with and you’ll look back and not believe you let someone treat you like how he did. Toxic isn’t something that can ever be fixed

 

[Gemgemgemgem]

He sounds very immature. I get he's 24 but...wow. 24 is a man's age, you need a man not some little man child who won't talk bout feelings. If he valued yours, he'd listen.

And to be honest, you too sound like you have lost yourself in this situation and it seems you have played games too. You sound like a really lovely person and deserve better. I know it's hard, but make sure busy week for yourself - clean anything and everything, meet friends.....anything to keep yourself busy. Then block him. Don't unblock him ever again. The first week will be hard so keep busy. It'll get easier until one day you won't think of him again.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

You’re forcing something that isn’t right.

When I was younger I had a thing like this with a lad. We were firey but we clicked but he would blow up and fall out and then have a fresh start and then the cycle would repeat.
It never gets any better. Learn to ignore them the first time and your life gets easier.