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Sure…Media!

VIP Member
You fezza moles! I can’t keep up. Thanks for the new thread. Just had a couple of red wines by myself so I had to rely on the dictaphone function. I hope this recrap makes sense.

Dear Diary,

With any luck, this journal entry will see me lose another 2kgs. If I write enough I just hope I can smash a cheeky party bag of Cheezels this weekend and not see the scales change.

Port Melbourne’s premier paramedic began the morning with a light stim session in bed. Either that or ET had crawled in to bed with her and suddenly wanted to call home when he saw what was on the menu tonight.

Small business owner and the world’s most accomplished egg sheller cooked up a big family feast and tried to pass off her intestinal discharge as some great African sausage. After seeing it violently hacked in to by a pair of scissors, uncle Cal got the message loud and clear and promised not to mess with Bubs again. After all, it’s a family affair.

The gorbellied goblin inspired us with before and after photos in the same bikini. A mid story minge check confirmed the gardening was up to date. Inspired by Cachia’s painted on abs she told us all about how she lost 20kgs. Leah didn’t have the heart to tell her she changed the setting on the scales and it’s only 20lbs. Never mind, Emmylou will be back at her job at Fitness First soon enough.

Donning a pair of rubber gloves to touch the meat, the vitamin drip lady was back to give Emmylou a marinade for the weekend. She needs all the energy she can get if she wants to go sky diving, horse riding or hot air ballooning.

Unmuzzled, our lady of leisure was grifted a friends weekend away with… ummm… let me check my notes. Nup. No idea. Didn’t the website say “BFF Sleepover package”? We were introduced to a cameo from the lovely bellhop, Oliver. Being the consummate professional he did everything to ensure every other guest was taken care of, rather than be pulled in for girls drinks.

We’ve met a gawjuss wall, a beautiful fridge and every man’s dream… endless views as far as the eye can see of car filled freeways intersecting before our eyes. Beware Tinder. It’s a trap fellas. If you don’t watch out the only way to escape might be to… abseil down.
 
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ActiveLies

VIP Member
Is there another job on earth you can be so incredibly bad at but still make decent coin from like being an influencer? Coz she is genuinely so shit at influencing anyone. Like the Phillip Island trip which was neither a fun girls weekend, nor a fun family adventure, this weekend’s staycation is so incredibly uninspiring. And it would be so easy to correct and do properly? Girls weekend - show off the hotel as a great grown up getaway, showcase the sky bar’s cocktails, how close it is to DFO, to Lume etc etc. It would be so easy to really position it as a base for an awesome city weekend. OR as a great staycation for a family. Go to the aquarium, the footy at Marvel Stadium, all the things for kids at the Docklands. With a TINY bit of effort and planning she could’ve collaborated with some of those things and shown her followers that that underwhelming hotel could be useful for a fun weekend. But Nup. As usual, her brand of influencing is just self obsessed drivel. Her hair is shit and fried, the nails she pays to get done are ugly as fuck, her brow and lash tint make zero difference to her appearance, she dresses like a moron in clothes that don’t fit, can’t even orient herself in a hotel room and plan out what she’s going to show, instead just hits film and posts whatever bullshit comes out of her mouth. And why mention that the sky bar is booked until October? That’s terrible advertising. Even if you saw her story and went “omg that looks amazing I want to check it out!” if she next things out of her mouth are that it’s booked until October, you’d probably then go “oh, never mind” and never give the bar another single thought in your life. I truly don’t get how anyone with a business anywhere sees her and thinks she could be of any value and bring anything to their business. She’s a very boring, dumb, crusty, manic, selfish, uninspiring, unattractive, potentially mentally ill wombat-shaped woman with a poor grasp of the English language and zero desire to ever learn or improve in a professional sense and she just genuinely sucks dick at her ‘job’.
 
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Sure…Media!

VIP Member
Y’all probably can’t tag me because I went on an anxiety driven blocking spree and culled anyone who hate follows my stories. Cheers to you all for sending me so much love last night ❤ Mumma’s a little rusty this morning after that bottle of red.

I had my fingers crossed for her when she pushed that wall last night. Greg Evans was cheering her on. Sadly there was no perfect match standing on the other side.
 
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Dalej7

Chatty Member
My heart is broken 💔 i just watched the story of her leaving C before the media wall. Yet the pair in front was a guy and a little girl dressed beautifully in her camel woolen coat, holding hands.
Why does she abandon her beautiful kids. Im so sad for C. She really needs her mum. The way she tried to grab onto the fur coat as this pig took off on her made me sad.

Then she tried to make convo "you have that outfit" and EL is like "yeah i did have that" and effectively eye rolled at her like "stop cramping my style and taking my attention". Disgusting.
Doesnt matter how many free tickets you get Emmylou Mccarthy, you are a terrible person inside and out and an even worse mother. Shame on you.
 
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SnarkyTart

VIP Member
Why can't I tag Sure?? Looks like some others have difficulty too.

Anyway, back to business at hand - if you're looking for an adventure this weekend, hit up the Sky Bar and ask for Emmy's signature Cheezel Martini. Yummy!
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slap2fish2gether

VIP Member
Mark fucking owned her, she looks ridiculous 😂 imagine trying to work on the hair while that bush pig has a fucking phone up in your business!

Who wore it better?..

Screenshot_20220817-172101_Instagram.jpg



grug.jpg
 
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Super Cute

VIP Member
Screaming like a bogan in a Warragul roadhouse….dressed like Hagrid.
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She’s fucking cooked. What’s the ‘long story’ behind your rando trip to Warragul Emmy? Feel like a battered sav? I have zero tolerance for her today.
 
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emmygluewho

VIP Member
Rob Mills just absolutely burned her!

'We do real work'

She awkwardly ignored it but 'will try' get to his show which runs 8 times per week for 3 Months!?

I think you can make it you lazy jobless fuck.
 
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SnarkyTart

VIP Member
Congrats to @ChunkyCustard for thread title number 37! Your prize is an uncooked African sausage, just waiting to be sizzled outside your local football club canteen the next time they're operating. I've also thrown in a bottle of bewdiful cheeky red. Both items await you in the refrigerator - if you can open it!


Mod edit
Updated the title to loves
 

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