Emmylou Loves #24 Yo yo mumma looking for a man, flashing her cans, about to start her Only Fans

[SnarkyTart]

From [email protected]

To [email protected]

Subject Bali story schedule

Hi Emmylou,

Hope you're having fun at dad's resort. He sends his apologies that he isn't there to meet you but he has meetings in Jakarta. Everything going well at ZM. Cheezels on sale at Coles so have stocked up. Storing at warehouse so the children and your niece can't get them. Here's your posting schedule for the next few days:
•Announce arrival in Bali. Show luxury features of villa as per arrangement with dad
•Mention menu is customizable and show smoothie bowl
•Increase sympathy engagement. Can be about Aaron or the children. Those pics I took of you and Vida would work well
•Melbourne is freezing today so a cold weather recipe would work better than a salad. Please confirm whether to go with beef curry or lamb shoulder
•Dad said he needs you to really sell how relaxing the resort is. Maybe talk about naps or reading.

Suelyn is asking for her wages from the last three months. Do we pay in ZM clothing again?

Kind regards,

Leah.
Executive Assistant to Emmylou from Emmylou Loves

 

[Sure…Media!]

Thread recrap:

Ciao Peppay! Come ti chiami?

We tried to post a joke about foreskin earlier… but it got removed. Flaccid jokes aside, let’s pose on a zebra crossing then get in to todays recap!

We flew in to the Top Gun premier. EL took our breath away. That’s the price of fashun if your pants are too tight though. Should have sized up. We sped along the highway to the Cheezels zone and marvelled at the casting of a wrinkly old man. While we’re picturing ourselves as Charlie, let’s face it, Goose is probably where it’s at. Sing it with me Tattlers “We’ve lost A-Love ‘n’ feeling”. Sista, time to move on. He ain’t worth it.

There was some cosmic shit that f’d us up so much, we’re all Taurians now. The Love in our life is still hanging around. No more hospital trips. Maybe it’s the Astrological Taurus Offenders (ATO). Not sure what the go is, so the more cryptic bag baiting, the better. Cue the fake (sponsored) tears.

After all the bong comments, conveniently we’ve partnered with Murine eye drops. You can’t make this shyte up! Just to keep in on the down-low, we’re pitching for the next partnership to be with Melbourne Kebab Station. Gotta stay on brand. Hang on, can we stop a sec? I just wanna get some toast.

This winter we’ll be strolling the markets, looking like Zsa Zsa Gabor on the hunt for a Beverley Hills cop in our ZeeEm coats. We know you’re all asking what we’re having for dinner but let’s just swan past Braaad first and grab a borek.

We’re influenced on driving an hour round trip to have our handpicked ridickehead lettuce for dinner. Apparently no one sells lettuce at the market these days. Next, we’re planning on asking for all of the vowels to be hand picked from our alphabet soup. So so bewdiful.

Our social calendar has gone off. So much topless cooking to be done. Oil of Oxtail, fingered carrot cake, smouldering pork, a bastardised bake. Hot tip: let it rest unattended in the car for hours until we find someone home who’ll take it.

Mamma had a date night. We presume. An Uber was ordered but sadly there was no spring in her step by the morning. The blow wave and innuendos were for nothing. Maybe she needs to go watch Top Gun again to learn how to properly use a wingman on a date night. (Call me!)

Emmy-G in da house got gifted 5 Guy Sebastian tickets for his concert. The only thing sadder than her kids faces when she pointed out they were now a family of 4 was the timing of the concert. Literally the day prior he was in the news, complaining about fat older feral women. Honey, again, rethink men in general.

In summary, the fashion & hair are on brand. Too much to unpack for the recap. Good news is it’ll carry over to the next thread.

The Children are growing up well. In spite of everything, we’re proud of them.

 

[SnarkyTart]

Greetings from Udbud

 

[SnarkyTart]

If I lose friends on here for saying this, so be it. But I hate Emmylou with every fibre of my being right now. She is a dirty, despicable and downright disgraceful person. Do I hope she gets help? Yes. But only for the sake of her three beautiful, innocent children who deserve so much better than her. I have no empathy left for this woman. She deserves nothing but contempt for her sneaky, manipulative and completely selfish behaviour. Her downfall cannot come soon enough.

 

[Scaredweirdlittleguy]

EmmyLou 25 - her whole body shut down, it all went caput, she’s now chilling in Udbud with her very own Ketut

 

[Faketeeth]

Look, we all know the real reason she's gone to Bali

 

[Dabble]

And here I was today feeling guilty and procrastinating all day for booking a flight over to NZ to see my sister going through Chemo whom the last time l saw was at our Dad's funeral, time before that at our Mum's funeral and recently she couldn't go to our brothers funeral, because it was a week after she had a mastectomy. All within 18months.
She has made me feel all bitter and twisted today.

 

[liar liar flaps on fire]

Like everyone else has said here she is so selfish. I’ve mentioned before I’ve known her since school. And she’s always been that way. I’m just so glad I found this group because I needed people to see through her BS. She was a big, loud, selfish bully as a kid and teen and still is. She just plays the victim card and those dense followers of hers buy it every time. I honestly feel so validated that you can all see through her charade.

Like everyone else has said here she is so selfish. I’ve mentioned before I’ve known her since school. And she’s always been that way. I’m just so glad I found this group because I needed people to see through her BS. She was a big, loud, selfish bully as a kid and teen and still is. She just plays the victim card and those dense followers of hers buy it every time. I honestly feel so validated that you can all see through her charade.

Oh and the lies. The sheer fabrications she tells about her past are just outrageous. I wish I could say more but it would out my identity. But pretty much everything she says about her past is complete BS. I think she actually believes it though. A true narcissist. And her family let her perpetuate the BS because they benefit from the $$.

 

[CEOManagingDirectorAuthor]

Is anyone else deeply irritated by the spelling of Fivelements? My brain reads it as Fiv Elements or Five Lements. No? Nobody else? Okay bye.

 

[AMY$]

You all watch what she is doing, do you ever reply to her stories and tell her what you think? Or just vent on here. I hate her but why don’t we all tell her on her stories on instragram?

Because that is overstepping the mark. We don't actively troll her that would be wrong. We do it here because we aren't directing it at her. If she chooses to look here she is searching for criticism

 

[itsspelleddivinenotdevine]

Fuck me dead!!

That has to be the worst outfit I have ever seen her wear but it is a size 8 so that's all that matters.

Now she’s going to add size 8 to the growing list of sizes she can squeeze into… I’m a 12 in my bust, a 14 in my tummy, an 18 in my arms, a 14 in my legs, a 10 in CR coats that I can’t do up, a 16 in Zoe Moss jackets I can’t do up, an 8 in banana condom dresses… ‍

 

[cheezel flaps]

Long time lurker, first time poster. There’s been several times I thought this selfish gronk had pushed me to create an account so I could join in the fun, but the third fat camp for the year has finally tipped me over the edge. I ran here so fast, I nearly tripped over my crushed CR coat tails.
Like many others have commented, this btch wouldn’t know hard work if she fell over it in a clacky mule. She doesn’t have a full time job and isn’t even a full time parent. Some of us are doing both and her lack of self-awareness is astounding. Maybe I’m just a jealous fezza btch who would rather be in Bali haha.

Side note - her crop is so tight and ill-fitting that it’s folding over itself

 

[CEOManagingDirectorAuthor]

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *breathe* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *snort* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAOHMYGODITHURTS!!!!!!!

 

[A real mongrel of a woman]

She has a closet full of floaty Camilla kaftans that would actually be SO appropriate for this trip and instead she's stuffed herself into that monstrosity. She looks like a little jaundiced penis.

Please tell me that ain't a G-string bikini she's wearing underneath (who am I kidding, I'm praying for pics tbh ).

The footage of her walking out of the villa all model like bum wiggle.....FAARK ME that was gross.

I gasped out loud. She is insane

 

[veganchickenwings]

I’m no mental health expert, but I’m pretty sure if you burst out into tears and spend all night and day crying whenever you’re alone, then you need more help than what a Balinese raw food retreat can offer ‍

How embarrassing to admit that the wealthy family of your young employee have been “supporting” (emotionally? Financially? Who knows!) since last year. Have you ever done anything to actually help yourself and your situation, Emmy? Or is it all just salon appointments, movie premieres and fat camps?

 

[SnarkyTart]

Geeeewwd mornun' Tattlers. Let's farken get it

 

[avex]

Crying in Bali, who had that on their bingo card?

 

[screenfreelookatme]

I might be being overly picky, but is anyone getting weird cultural appropriation vibes from this whole thing? Rich white man runs an expensive resort in Bali and co-opts all of these traditional treatments and customs to profit from his rich, white guests?

I dunno. It just seems a bit off that she’s having this deeply spiritual experience, but it’s all orchestrated by Leah’s dad, with no actual link to the culture

 

[Scaredweirdlittleguy]

Her screeching as she stomped in - she was acting like it was a surprise party just for her! She walked in to fresh juice! She had a personal invitation! She was so stunned at the set up!
Maybe that’s because an actual business paid a proper event planner to set up a proper event? Using their own money and without asking for freebies?

She’s so embarrassing. I’ve said before in this thread, it’s the horror I feel when I watch shows like the office but it’s worse because this is a real life person - a real life David Brent!

 

[SnarkyTart]

For the briefest of seconds when she was looking at her and trying to do up the coat, I thought she was going to ask her how far along in her pregnancy Emmylou was

Right! You just know they were all wondering who the loud pregnant woman was

Gotta love that she still introduces herself as Emmylou from Emmylou Loves makes about as much sense as me saying I'm Snarky Tart from Tattle Life everywhere I go

P.s. @Michy02 I love your dedication to updating your avatar. I keep meaning to comment because it always makes me laugh. Loving the current Pringles