Thread recrap:
Ciao Peppay! Come ti chiami?
We tried to post a joke about foreskin earlier… but it got removed.
Flaccid jokes aside, let’s pose on a zebra crossing then get in to todays recap!
We flew in to the Top Gun premier. EL took our breath away. That’s the price of fashun if your pants are too tight though. Should have sized up. We sped along the highway to the Cheezels zone and marvelled at the casting of a wrinkly old man. While we’re picturing ourselves as Charlie, let’s face it, Goose is probably where it’s at. Sing it with me Tattlers
“We’ve lost A-Love ‘n’ feeling”. Sista, time to move on. He ain’t worth it.
There was some cosmic
tit that f’d us up so much, we’re all Taurians now. The Love in our life is still hanging around. No more hospital trips. Maybe it’s the Astrological Taurus Offenders (ATO). Not sure what the go is, so the more cryptic bag baiting, the better. Cue the fake (sponsored) tears.
After all the bong comments, conveniently we’ve partnered with Murine eye drops. You can’t make this shyte up! Just to keep in on the down-low, we’re pitching for the next partnership to be with Melbourne Kebab Station. Gotta stay on brand. Hang on, can we stop a sec? I just wanna get some toast.
This winter we’ll be strolling the markets, looking like Zsa Zsa Gabor on the hunt for a Beverley Hills cop in our ZeeEm coats. We know you’re all asking what we’re having for dinner but let’s just swan past Braaad first and grab a borek.
We’re influenced on driving an hour round trip to have our handpicked ridickehead lettuce for dinner. Apparently no one sells lettuce at the market these days. Next, we’re planning on asking for all of the vowels to be hand picked from our alphabet soup. So so bewdiful.
Our social calendar has gone off. So much topless cooking to be done. Oil of Oxtail, fingered carrot cake, smouldering pork, a bastardised bake. Hot tip: let it rest unattended in the car for hours until we find someone home who’ll take it.
Mamma had a date night. We presume. An Uber was ordered but sadly there was no spring in her step by the morning. The blow wave and innuendos were for nothing. Maybe she needs to go watch Top Gun again to learn how to properly use a wingman on a date night. (Call me!)
Emmy-G in da house got gifted 5 Guy Sebastian tickets for his concert. The only thing sadder than her kids faces when she pointed out they were now a family of 4 was the timing of the concert. Literally the day prior he was in the news, complaining about fat older feral women. Honey, again, rethink men in general.
In summary, the fashion & hair are on brand. Too much to unpack for the recap. Good news is it’ll carry over to the next thread.
The Children are growing up well. In spite of everything, we’re proud of them.
.
