i skimmed thru her substack post & the part that struck me was where she was said that Arlo would lie in bed with her while she was crying, and that her first sentence was "mummy sick, pills mummy better" - or something along those lines. she can say that Arlo handled it fine and is such a sensitive, empathetic & resilient child - but it seems very clear that it DID impact her daughter, and that Arlo was very aware her mum wasn't feeling,well and was worried about her - not to mention that Em wasn't able to be fully involved in Arlo's life for nine months. she was barely a year old when Em got pregnant & there will have been so many "firsts" she wasn't present for - and it's not as though she didn't know the likelihood she would suffer with HG and remember what her first pregnancy was like.
I'm sure Arlo had her dad & other family so it's not like she was neglected - but Em is her mum and kids that age usually have a strong bond with their mother, so knowing her mum was suffering and upset and throwing up etc, in and out of hospital - kids are far more aware than people seem to think and it's an experience that could impact Arlo, in terms of anxiety etc worrying Em might get sick again - not necessarily able to differentiate illness from the effects of HG, as based onEm's wording, Arlo's understanding seemed to be that her mummy was "sick" - and I'm sure she knows that people get unwell all the time.
I'm not saying that they shouldn't have had another child, but to brush off the impact it had on Arlo seems very dismissive and far more to help HER feel less guilty - she has no idea of the emotional impact it may have had on her little girl, especially the absence from her life.
she now has two healthy daughters, yet already seems to have decided that she will have a third child at some point - why?! I'm not doubting that her girls were worth the HG during pregnancy, but i would be focusing on being an involved mother to the two girls she has, than already considering when she will have a third, which would likely mean missing out on more of Arlo's childhood and Xanthe's baby/toddlerhood when it's all such precious moments of infancy she is missing out on and won't be able to get back. missing her girls' first day at nursery or school and not being able to be an active part of their life for 9 months is huge when they are both so little - and i guarantee she will regret it. her girlsbcertainly won't form as strong a bond with her if she is regularly absent from their daily life - or, as seems to have happened with Arlo, will be thrown into a situation where they feel they need to comfort and take care of their mummy from such a young age. on an eotional - which is far too much responsibility for children so young. ofc, it's Em and her husband's choice if they want another baby, but i personally don't get why she would sacrifice more time she could be spending with the two daughters she has and be content with the family she has - perhaps get therapy to explore why the family she has doesn't feel like it's enough.
