Can’t believe people are saying it’s unprofessional or he’s a freak! Loadsss of people meet at work
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Just be careful, there was this weird guy at my work wouldn’t leave me alone. He was relentless so I ended up marrying and having babies with him.
Yes. But they haven’t met at work. Infact they haven’t met at all!!!!! There’s a huge difference in getting to know someone in a work environment, and that progressing into a flirtation and possible relationship, versus this guy who she’s never met, creeping around on WhatsApp, claiming he has no social media profiles and trying to command her attention when another guy innocently chats to her about a tv show.
Meeting someone at work is fine - I met my husband at work. It’s just the way this guy is behaving that’s kinda odd. Like I’ve said, it’s all being played out over text messages on WhatsApp where he can say anything he likes about himself and she has no idea of what he’s saying is true or not. At least in a physical work environment you’d get a feel for what he’s like by seeing him interact with others, and you’d hear what he’s like and glean information from those that also work with him and know more about him.
I agree with what Betty said the other day about getting him to video call. If he doesn’t then there’s something off. I think she’s just trying to look out for you. Men can be really crappy!! Be careful don’t get too excited too soon ... get to know him as much as you can. You never know when you get back to work you might not even be attracted to him
Men really can be crappy can't they? In fact they never cease to amaze be by their lies BUT I'm still hoping for a fairytaleI agree with what Betty said the other day about getting him to video call. If he doesn’t then there’s something off. I think she’s just trying to look out for you. Men can be really crappy!! Be careful don’t get too excited too soon ... get to know him as much as you can. You never know when you get back to work you might not even be attracted to him
aww I totally get this and I appreciate all the input I really do.
I think this has consumed me more than usual due to lockdown.
I think this has consumed me more than usual due to lockdown.
I agree with what Betty said the other day about getting him to video call. If he doesn’t then there’s something off. I think she’s just trying to look out for you. Men can be really crappy!! Be careful don’t get too excited too soon ... get to know him as much as you can. You never know when you get back to work you might not even be attracted to him
I chatted to another colleague tonight and casually asked about this guy. I’ve found out that he is not single. He is in fact married!!!
I feel like a total fool for even thinking that I liked him. I had no idea.
Thank you everyone for your advice. I’m not communicating with him anymore, feel like a total idiot.
I feel like a total fool for even thinking that I liked him. I had no idea.
Thank you everyone for your advice. I’m not communicating with him anymore, feel like a total idiot.
Well..... there it is.
The guy is a creep.
Find out who his wife is and tell her the lot.
OMG. MEN NEVER CEASE TO AMAZE ME WITH THEIR CREEPINES. Oh I was so wanting this to turn out ok. There.is no need to feel like an idiot at all. You were only being friendly back and you didn't ininate anything. I mean you never know, he could be split up for whatever reasons and still married but even so you are right to not text him back anymore. I'd call him out on his behaviour. Say I'm sure your wife wouldn't appreciate you talking to new work colleagues all the time. Bloody men. I think you probably felt deep down a red flag otherwise you wouldn't have felt need to ask about it so please do not beat yourself up. Men. Once again strike again. 
I’m so shocked and then I’m thinking was I reading far too much into the messages ? Wanting there to be something more? But then I’m like ... No catch a grip that is very shady behaviour when he wife at home. Especially saying about going rock climbing and calling me lush a few weeks back.
There wasn’t “flirty” or sexual messages or anything but still it’s all just very bizarre.
Thanks everyone x
There wasn’t “flirty” or sexual messages or anything but still it’s all just very bizarre.
Thanks everyone x
What a wick. Im glad you found out early doors with it all! Id definitely be searching for his social media now, and tell his wife lol. What a scumbag!
Next time he asks you something (masked singer or something), I’d reply with “haha yeah, is your wife a fan too?”. It’s a passive aggressive warning to him that you know without you having to actually tell him.
This is a great idea, thank you
Oh my god. Disgusting. I guess now the “no social media” thing makes sense, if I were you I’d block him so he gets the message! The crazy thing is I know that so many married men do this!!!! When I was single before I met my partner, a married guy would always send me flirty replies to my stories and it got ... uncomfortable. to the point where I’d have to just ignore his messages because I’d feel uncomfortable! Married people who hide their true relationship status and talk to people are pure and utter trash
No worries! Don’t worry about all this, you weren’t to know he had a wife. Personally I wouldn’t go searching for her and telling her what her husband has been up to. I would if he’d got sexual in his messages, or you’d met up etc but he’s likely to deny or say you misunderstood things (gaslighting) if you do speak to her. You don’t need that drama or mess at work!
Wow what a wick. I don’t think it sounds like you were reading too much into the messages, for the fact that he was the one messaging you separately and suggesting the rock climbing date.
I can’t remember if you mentioned this but had he previously said he was single? Either way, at least you know that he’s not now!
I would do what @Blonde123 said and casually mention his wife. That way you’re letting him know that you know, and hopefully he will leave it at that. Same as I said in my previous post, you don’t want things to be awkward at work but that should be enough for him to know he’s been caught out!
Be prepared for some bull about “oh I’m married but we’re only together for the kids / we’re going to separate / we’re just not in love anymore”
Men
I can’t remember if you mentioned this but had he previously said he was single? Either way, at least you know that he’s not now!
I would do what @Blonde123 said and casually mention his wife. That way you’re letting him know that you know, and hopefully he will leave it at that. Same as I said in my previous post, you don’t want things to be awkward at work but that should be enough for him to know he’s been caught out!
Be prepared for some bull about “oh I’m married but we’re only together for the kids / we’re going to separate / we’re just not in love anymore”
Men
Yeah, mention the wife so that he gets the hint that he’s been rumbled and then leave it at that. Don’t engage in any more private conversations with him. Talk to him during work discussions for work purposes only if you have to but nothing more. He’s nothing more than a work colleague- who you actually don’t know at all, leave it at that and just focus on your job. 
My friend at work naively believed the “we only got married and had the kids because we were mates and she wanted children” line. Turns out it was all lies and she’d been the other woman. Absolutely heartbreaking for both women, not the dickmunch who played both his wife and mistress though!Wow what a wick. I don’t think it sounds like you were reading too much into the messages, for the fact that he was the one messaging you separately and suggesting the rock climbing date.
I can’t remember if you mentioned this but had he previously said he was single? Either way, at least you know that he’s not now!
I would do what @Blonde123 said and casually mention his wife. That way you’re letting him know that you know, and hopefully he will leave it at that. Same as I said in my previous post, you don’t want things to be awkward at work but that should be enough for him to know he’s been caught out!
Be prepared for some bull about “oh I’m married but we’re only together for the kids / we’re going to separate / we’re just not in love anymore”
Men
That’s awful. My boss a few years ago used to to try it on with lots of women (including me) in our department, even though he was married. Same sort of lines, he wasn’t happy, they weren’t really together anymore and they were thinking about divorcing as they both wanted different things. One woman did fall for it and was seeing him for about 6 months, until he revealed his wife was pregnant and they’d been trying for a baby that whole time