Yes that's a good idea. I'll have a look at some temp agencies. thanks!
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Thinking off leaving but looking for another job with less hours management are poor may as well not have one he's never there
had a friend ask me how i was getting on with this job, and i lied and said it all good. i’m determined to set stronger boundaries next week to make it so.
I hate my job but I am the bread winner in the family. I have kids to take care of so I am stuck there. I just have to suck it up and get on with it. I cry every lunch break. For people who do not have children if you are miserable in your job I hope you can quit and find something better.
i’ve actually checked my previous sickness absences (actually minor and few for the record) for the past year, to figure out when the 12 month rolling period resets. i’m not feeling great but i want to avoid hitting any triggers as well as figure out how long i can keep going feeling as low as i do. i don’t think it’s the work itself, but working through a pandemic with no reprieve from bereavements, parenting and lockdown has taken a massive toll on me. i’m so ambivalent about going back to the office even if it is only for a couple of days a week, which is not like me at all. i feel like i need a chance to breathe before i try and approach ‘back to normal’.
I’ve been in my job for nearly ten years. I’ve enjoyed it the most part and I’m popular and well liked. I’m friends with my team leader but we are total opposites. Recently she’s been an absolute nightmare to work with. Throwing me under the bus for things, taking total control of everything (making it look like she is, but passing a lot on to me and a colleague without telling those above), wants all the glory. It’s unbearable. She strolls in late, goes on her phone but will comment whenever I pick my mobile up. I’m about 30 years younger (but married with a child) and she speaks to me like a teenager.
i brought it to our managers attention and she is well aware of her and has her figured out.But things are getting worse. She made a comment yesterday how she had to tell me to do something (she didn’t. She doesn’t have to tell me how to do my job. I’m more than capable) and how sheshouldn’t have had to do this. I know she will relay this back to management if she could. She’s making me poorly and I’m close to being signed off sick. I’ve emailed a different manager today asking for a role in her department and off loaded to her. She’s said she’s doesn’t want me going off sick and doesn’t want me to leave and we will discuss next week.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I’d do if I left and I don’t really want to be forced out.
i brought it to our managers attention and she is well aware of her and has her figured out.But things are getting worse. She made a comment yesterday how she had to tell me to do something (she didn’t. She doesn’t have to tell me how to do my job. I’m more than capable) and how sheshouldn’t have had to do this. I know she will relay this back to management if she could. She’s making me poorly and I’m close to being signed off sick. I’ve emailed a different manager today asking for a role in her department and off loaded to her. She’s said she’s doesn’t want me going off sick and doesn’t want me to leave and we will discuss next week.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I’d do if I left and I don’t really want to be forced out.
From an outsiders POV your focus on being popular and well liked, your attention on your friendship with a team leader, watching when they come in and when they pick up their mobile phone and your statement your team leader is “taking total control of everything (making it look like she is, but passing a lot on to me and a colleague without telling those above)” could be seen as an immature. If they are a leader then they will take control and delegate where necessary, it’s a part of a leadership role.
I’m surprised the two different managers that you raise your concerns with didn’t advise you to bring up any genuine concerns with your team leader, that would have been my first advice. May I ask what you hoped would be the outcome of speaking to management? I’m confused by the statement of “they have figured her out”
could you elaborate onthe reasons you are being close to signed off sick? Your post insinuates it’s your former friend / now team leaders fault, is that correct?
I’m surprised the two different managers that you raise your concerns with didn’t advise you to bring up any genuine concerns with your team leader, that would have been my first advice. May I ask what you hoped would be the outcome of speaking to management? I’m confused by the statement of “they have figured her out”
could you elaborate onthe reasons you are being close to signed off sick? Your post insinuates it’s your former friend / now team leaders fault, is that correct?
I really don’t miss office politics…childish crap like ‘so and so is on their phone’ used to really do my head in! You’d think it would be the youngsters but it was often grown adults who should know better.
Agreed. I mean as long as they get their job done who gives a damn if they come in late from time to time and use their phone? We are all paid to do our jobs and do them well. Having someone note down when people come in, take a break and use their mobile just tells me they aren’t busy enough themself.
having been on the receiving end of such silliness in the past, it soon became clear to me that while leadership can be sketchy in their own right, they can still recognise the people who consistently deliver a good job. and attempts to undermine that person by suggesting they are slacking only serve to expose the troublemaker, who is clearly threatened by how good you are. alas this is something that i’ve had to learn through some very horrible experiences and breakdowns. keep doing what you’re doing, and put the rest of it down to noise. don’t engage. let your work speak for itself. if your manager has a problem, they *will* come to talk to you about it.
(while i’m away from all that i’m still regularly triggered by it because i’m still in the same field. it’s crap)
sorry, wrote original post when o was upset so was garbled.
For example, she will question what time people enter the office and check time sheets and complain of late. But she herself is late every day but never puts it on her timesheet. One rule for one etc.
she doesn’t delegate. She has taken on extra work for us all but will claim she’s done it herself. But really it’s us. But nobody knows we’ve done it because she says she’s done it and nobody communicates with us now because she’s sort of brushed us to one side. Like we don’t even exist. “I’m covering so and so at work on top of all my own extra work” - but my colleague and I are in fact doing this work, not her.
She recently assigned her name to something and when she realised she had done it wrong, she threw me under the bus and blamed me. She wouldn’t communicate with anybody re the problem and said it was my fault and point blanked refused to reply to emails. I had to step in to speak to management and they are aware of the issue but tip toeing around it.
I dread going every day to the atmosphere and being spoke to like tit. Or not being spoke to at all.
I used to work with someone that was on their phone constantly. I’m of the same mindset when it comes to ‘if someone gets the job done, who cares if they’re on their phone’. However.. we were employed to do the same job, her desk was behind mine so I couldn’t really see her unless I made the effort to turn around. I lost track of the amount of times I would be talking to her, get no response, then look around to see she was scrolling through Facebook or texting. She also made no effort to answer any calls that came in, patients would be left standing at the desk because she’d be looking down at her phone and not see them. She would hide her phone amongst paperwork and patient notes so that anyone walking past would think she was just reading the notes but really she was on her phone. She was constantly making mistakes because she hadn’t been paying attention or she’d ask how to do something that I’d already shown/explained to her but again wasn’t paying attention because she was on her phone. I was doing the job of 2 people plus having to correct the errors she was making when she finally did put her phone down for 2 seconds.
She was a nice woman, but I’d never work with her again. It’s not fair to expect someone else to pick up after you because you’re too busy on your phone. I asked her a few times if she could put her phone away and help me but her excuse was always ‘oh it’s my kids texting me’. Even if that was true, your kids are at school so they shouldn’t be on their phones either
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She was a nice woman, but I’d never work with her again. It’s not fair to expect someone else to pick up after you because you’re too busy on your phone. I asked her a few times if she could put her phone away and help me but her excuse was always ‘oh it’s my kids texting me’. Even if that was true, your kids are at school so they shouldn’t be on their phones either
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Had my interview yesterday - I have never been so nervous in my life! It went well I think, but the questions were very open - for example "How can you help the MD in his work?" Well, give me a clue what areas he needs help in - does he need diary management, does he need travel arrangements, does he need someone to tie his shoelaces? It is tough when it is so open. But there were a couple of bits that I think really impressed them. I should know by the end of the week. Fingers crossed!
It does sound pretty toxic to be fair. I would try not to lower yourself to her level by tit for tat; checking timesheets etc. Focus on shining brighter, let your actions show how capable you are. but it also sounds like the weak management of her and the situation is enabling her behavior. It's likely that won't change so how open are you to leaving and finding a nicer environment?
I don't hate my job but my work bestie has just told me she has been offered a new job 
Much better money for her, WFH and unlimited holidays... Sigh....
Much better money for her, WFH and unlimited holidays... Sigh....
UNLIMITED holidays?! Sign me up!I don't hate my job but my work bestie has just told me she has been offered a new job
Much better money for her, WFH and unlimited holidays... Sigh....
but seriously I'd hate it if one of my favorite work colleagues left.. so I send my condolences
me too!
my work bestie left our work a year ago and i ended up leaving a few months later. not having a work bestie is the only thing i miss about working in an office.
Is it just me who smells 
or does dusting off a CV, applying for jobs, getting an interview and offer all in the space of 24 hours sound… unlikely? (ETA - No one on here!)
or does dusting off a CV, applying for jobs, getting an interview and offer all in the space of 24 hours sound… unlikely? (ETA - No one on here!)
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I'd be very surprised...unless it's retail or casual hospitality I guess?Is it just me who smells
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