- Notice
if I think about it too much I feel overwhelmed and panicky. I can’t wrap my head around being gone FOREVER. Just nothing… for eternity.
Fancyfeathers
Chatty Member
I lost my mum 2 days ago and everything is terrifying me at the moment. I’ve had to ask my brother and sister in law to help sort the funeral because I can’t cope with everything. I’m coping with day to day life because I have too but at the moment I just feel lost and so overwhelmed. I’m living life in slow motion and so scared that when reality kicks in then it’s gonna hit like a boomerang. I just miss my mum and feel like I’ve lost my best bed friend 
Yes, all the time! I'm really anxious about my own health and get into panics over thinking something is seriously wrong with me! I often think if I could just have a regular full body scan, like a human MOT, to know I'm not dying that would be fab! The thought of dying terrifies me, I guess it's the unknown.
I also really worry about losing my own parents. I've lost grandparents, aunts, uncles etc so I know what grief is like but the thought of losing a parent terrifies me. My Mum has some really unhealthy habits, she's got a really bad relationship with food so I'm always worrying that she's doing herself some irreversible damage that could ultimately be the death of her. It's awful.
I also really worry about losing my own parents. I've lost grandparents, aunts, uncles etc so I know what grief is like but the thought of losing a parent terrifies me. My Mum has some really unhealthy habits, she's got a really bad relationship with food so I'm always worrying that she's doing herself some irreversible damage that could ultimately be the death of her. It's awful.
Kelmum
Active member
My husband died 3 yrs ago at 59 I am still devastated everyday I think of him and although the crying has stopped the grief is like a huge pain in me. But I can honestly say his death was beautiful ! We knew he was dying because he had cancer so for three weeks I’d get up wash him make his breakfast take my dog out then come home and lie in bed with him he would be reading or listen to the radio and I’d be on my iPad. We spent the 3 weeks just talking about everything his songs for his funeral his life out life everything we would cry laugh hug it was so lovely. The day he died I knew this was it because he had gone into a like coma state I rung the family our kids his sister my sister and nephew and we surrounded him in our bedroom and I laid next him with his head in my arms I kissed a million times spoke to him we were chatting or quietly ppl were having a tear drinking tea and then at 4.45 he looked straight at me and turned back and died it was such a amazing way to go he stayed in my arms until 8.45 in the evening and he just looked so peaceful and out of pain ( now im crying ) I’m sorry this is such a long txt but it’s his anniversary 17th Jan and I miss him so much so for me no I’m not scared of dying because I will be with my gorgeous amazing darling husband again 
Rainbow Blossom
Well-known member
I fear death very much. I’m scared of those around me dying especially my children and husband. I worry about that every day and night… but I also fear my own death in terms and the actual act of it. How does it feel? Where do we go? Is there an afterlife? The thought of the blackness terrifies me. And then I also have fears about actually being a dead body and what happens… decomposition, being cremated… it just freaks me out so much.
My husband hates talking and thinking about it and is able to just block out the thoughts. I seem to be quite a deep thinker in comparison.
My husband hates talking and thinking about it and is able to just block out the thoughts. I seem to be quite a deep thinker in comparison.
BroccoliBanana
Active member
Sorry to hear this. You're not alone. I am the exact same re my parents death - I regularly find myself crying just thinking about it. I truly cannot imagine the world without them, and since moving a couple of hours away, it's got worse. I'm hoping to move closer to them in the next couple of years but not sure my boyfriend is on board with that idea.
Tatooine_legend1
VIP Member
If so, are you worried about dying?
In my case, I have dealt with a fair amount of death in my life. When I was 13 my mother died. Then a year or so later my uncle died. Then about 10 years ago one of my grandmothers died, and then about two and half years ago my nan other died.
It is rough to deal with death at any time, but it isn't easy. I often think about death and dying, and how it will be. I read stories of all these people dying in the news and It saddens me, especially the young people dying.
Anyway, do you ever think about death and what it will be like? None of us are going to avoid death as it's coming for us all, but I find it comfortable to think about it. How about you guys?
In my case, I have dealt with a fair amount of death in my life. When I was 13 my mother died. Then a year or so later my uncle died. Then about 10 years ago one of my grandmothers died, and then about two and half years ago my nan other died.
It is rough to deal with death at any time, but it isn't easy. I often think about death and dying, and how it will be. I read stories of all these people dying in the news and It saddens me, especially the young people dying.
Anyway, do you ever think about death and what it will be like? None of us are going to avoid death as it's coming for us all, but I find it comfortable to think about it. How about you guys?
IMissDi
Active member
My partner died of Covid in 2020. She was 32 and in good health. Not once did she ever talk about the fear of dying apart from than the fear of cancer.
Until that time I never thought about dying because I thought I would have a long life first. Now I am not so sure. I just have to carry on living a healthy life style and hope for a long life without troubles like cancer or some memory problems
Until that time I never thought about dying because I thought I would have a long life first. Now I am not so sure. I just have to carry on living a healthy life style and hope for a long life without troubles like cancer or some memory problems
Notorious PIG
Chatty Member
I’m not really scared of actual dying but I am more scared of pain. I’d hate to have a long drawn out painful death with lots of suffering.
Rlaw1978
VIP Member
I’m not scared of dying - I’ve had time in ICU etc for various medical issues. I’m more afraid of not being anymore, as I’m not being conscious or to never wake up again. I know common sense wise I will not know anything about it, but the idea of never waking up is so overwhelming. And that a person with all their hopes and dreams is just gone. Shame I’m not religious.
Ensay
VIP Member
I'm not worried about dying myself. However, I think about death a lot more since my Dad died, as up until that point I'd only experienced the death of family I didn't see that often. Not that it made their deaths any less sad, but I found it a lot easier to move on. I was very close to my Dad so I missed him a lot more.
I know they say that robins are a sign a lost loved one is nearby and I feel like I've seen a lot more robins since my Dad passed away. Just the other day I was out on a lovely winter walk and was thinking about my Dad and suddenly a robin appeared on a nearby hedge and looked at me. I know it's just a coincidence but it's a nice thought.
I know they say that robins are a sign a lost loved one is nearby and I feel like I've seen a lot more robins since my Dad passed away. Just the other day I was out on a lovely winter walk and was thinking about my Dad and suddenly a robin appeared on a nearby hedge and looked at me. I know it's just a coincidence but it's a nice thought.
AutumnSpring
Well-known member
Absolutely petrified. It’s interesting to see others thoughts that they are fearful of family dying and having to live without them. This makes me feel so incredibly selfish that it’s the fear of myself dying and ceasing to exist that scares me the most. Like a lot of others have said, it’s not the act of dying or the pain it’s the overwhelming thought that there is just eternal “nothingness”. I have recently started reading a book to help with this as I’ve realised I cannot spend the rest of my life fearing the only one true certainty there is. It’s called “Staring at the sun” by Irvin.D.Yalom, if anyone else is interested I have found it helpful so far.
whisperchat
VIP Member
Yeah, I lay in bed at night thinking about it, probably every night!
But I would rather die than have anyone else I love die around me first, that's probably really selfish of me but the thought of it makes me physically sick. My uncle passed away in July 2021.. It was an awful time for everyone. I am a massive believer in the spirit world though, I know he's still around me and my mum.
I think as I've got older it makes me anxious more.. especially in recent times seeing how many people are dying and how young they are too!
But I would rather die than have anyone else I love die around me first, that's probably really selfish of me but the thought of it makes me physically sick. My uncle passed away in July 2021.. It was an awful time for everyone. I am a massive believer in the spirit world though, I know he's still around me and my mum.
I think as I've got older it makes me anxious more.. especially in recent times seeing how many people are dying and how young they are too!
Oohthedrama
Iconic Member
Yep, Every time I hear a seagull I do.
That’s not actually a joke, it genuinely makes my blood run cold for a few seconds when I do.
I don’t fear my own death at all, I fear the death of a handful of people though.
That’s not actually a joke, it genuinely makes my blood run cold for a few seconds when I do.
I don’t fear my own death at all, I fear the death of a handful of people though.
I’mThankyou_
VIP Member
I used to fear death, I was petrified of it.
When i was 6, I was with my dad and we found my Nanna dead, we weren't expecting it & it played a massive part in my childhood and I became obsessed with checking everyone was breathing, my Grandma & Grandad then passed away when I was around 12. This is when I welcomed death, I helped my mum care for my Grandad in his final days, I would run home from school so I could sit with him and we would read, he was my best friend. (This was entirely my choice my mother wasn't so sure of it at first but I believe it was the very thing I needed to come to terms with the traumatic accident with my Nanna)
I then became fascinated with end of life care & death and what a privilege it is to be with someone in their very final moments.
Over the years, and I understand not every will "get this" but end of life care has become my passion and something I enjoy (can't currently find the words to explain it correctly).
I welcome death, I treat it respectfully and for me there is no greater honour to be able to care for someone in their final hours and the hours after they pass & to comfort their loved ones.
I fear my parents dying, but again I am at peace with this as I know it is inevitable and I know I will be there with them every step of the way.
I fear my children dying before me, I find that sets off my compulsion to check they are breathing most nights.
I realise to most people, it sounds weird, but death has always fascinated me in a non sadistic way.
When i was 6, I was with my dad and we found my Nanna dead, we weren't expecting it & it played a massive part in my childhood and I became obsessed with checking everyone was breathing, my Grandma & Grandad then passed away when I was around 12. This is when I welcomed death, I helped my mum care for my Grandad in his final days, I would run home from school so I could sit with him and we would read, he was my best friend. (This was entirely my choice my mother wasn't so sure of it at first but I believe it was the very thing I needed to come to terms with the traumatic accident with my Nanna)
I then became fascinated with end of life care & death and what a privilege it is to be with someone in their very final moments.
Over the years, and I understand not every will "get this" but end of life care has become my passion and something I enjoy (can't currently find the words to explain it correctly).
I welcome death, I treat it respectfully and for me there is no greater honour to be able to care for someone in their final hours and the hours after they pass & to comfort their loved ones.
I fear my parents dying, but again I am at peace with this as I know it is inevitable and I know I will be there with them every step of the way.
I fear my children dying before me, I find that sets off my compulsion to check they are breathing most nights.
I realise to most people, it sounds weird, but death has always fascinated me in a non sadistic way.
I find it so hard to comprehend how life moves on, things as they are now will be gone one day. It's easy to forget when you get caught up in daily life, just as generations before us did.
My main fear is dying while my child is young or my child dying.
I fear dying in pain and, perhaps a morbid thought, what will happen to my body. I know a lot of people say they don't care because they'll be dead but I really do care. It terrifies me.
I would love to believe there is something after death. It's something I want to read into. Just generally, I want to gain an understanding of different relgious and spiritual beliefs. I want to find something comforting.
My main fear is dying while my child is young or my child dying.
I fear dying in pain and, perhaps a morbid thought, what will happen to my body. I know a lot of people say they don't care because they'll be dead but I really do care. It terrifies me.
I would love to believe there is something after death. It's something I want to read into. Just generally, I want to gain an understanding of different relgious and spiritual beliefs. I want to find something comforting.
Peaches_xox
VIP Member
Yes! I worry that I’ll die young and leave my son behind for absolutely no reason. As far as I’m aware I’m healthy and have never had major health issues luckily.
Then I worry about my dad, I’ve known loads of people to die of a heart attack and he just doesn’t look after himself. Always drinking and I fear he’ll just have a heart attack and die.
Then and this is really irrational, I worry about my son. He’s 5 and sometimes I go to bed and get a fear that something will happen to him for no reason and I can’t settle and stop thinking about it. I’ve always been scared of death though. As a kid I’d get up in the night and tell my mum I don’t wanna die.
Then I worry about my dad, I’ve known loads of people to die of a heart attack and he just doesn’t look after himself. Always drinking and I fear he’ll just have a heart attack and die.
Then and this is really irrational, I worry about my son. He’s 5 and sometimes I go to bed and get a fear that something will happen to him for no reason and I can’t settle and stop thinking about it. I’ve always been scared of death though. As a kid I’d get up in the night and tell my mum I don’t wanna die.
If I think too much about life (and death) it freaks me the f out. What on Earth is the point of all the stuff we have to go through (being a child, working, school, depression, illness, marriage, happiness etc etc) for it all to be over in a flash and then it just be nothing forever. Sometimes I think it must be a joke because it’s so bizarre.
Off topic but I once (accidentally) took a load of ketamine (don’t ask I was a young 21 year old at uni thinking I was cool
) and I had the most insane trip where I found out it was all a game and when you die you go to a new world which is a lot more simple. I know it’s a load of crap but sometimes it reassures me and my husband jokes that maybe a bit of my brain was accidentally unlocked and I saw something I shouldn’t have 
On a serious note however, I do always say, and 100% mean it, that getting older is such a privilege and you should try to enjoy every moment of your life as much as you can. One phone call can change your life forever as you know it, so try and find the light in the good parts
Off topic but I once (accidentally) took a load of ketamine (don’t ask I was a young 21 year old at uni thinking I was cool
) and I had the most insane trip where I found out it was all a game and when you die you go to a new world which is a lot more simple. I know it’s a load of crap but sometimes it reassures me and my husband jokes that maybe a bit of my brain was accidentally unlocked and I saw something I shouldn’t have On a serious note however, I do always say, and 100% mean it, that getting older is such a privilege and you should try to enjoy every moment of your life as much as you can. One phone call can change your life forever as you know it, so try and find the light in the good parts
LaBlonde
VIP Member
constantly (to quote hamilton, i imagine death so much it feels more like a memory).
i don’t fear my own death in any way whatsoever, but i worry frequently about the people i love dying. i think the two years we’ve had has made everyone reflect on it: we can’t change how or when it happens but i make sure that my family and friends know how much i love them, i finish every phone call with an i love you or every meet-up with an i really enjoyed seeing you today message. we have to let people know we appreciate them while we can!
i don’t fear my own death in any way whatsoever, but i worry frequently about the people i love dying. i think the two years we’ve had has made everyone reflect on it: we can’t change how or when it happens but i make sure that my family and friends know how much i love them, i finish every phone call with an i love you or every meet-up with an i really enjoyed seeing you today message. we have to let people know we appreciate them while we can!