The cost of childcare actually enrages me; it’s such a huge barrier and it’s the sole reason so many of my friends don’t want to have kids. It should be much more heavily subsidised like it is in other countries. Why does child care free hours start at the age of three anyway? You only get a year of maternity leave
Discontent #9 food, energy, transport, cost of living, society etc
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I reckon I spent around 35k for 4 years part time cover. (2 years per child but not full time)
This was just to cover age 1 to age 3
This was just to cover age 1 to age 3
Christ when you think of it like that, mine is around £22k for two children, two days a week for two years each 
I reckon I spent around 35k for 4 years part time cover. (2 years per child but not full time)
This was just to cover age 1 to age 3
I've whinge about this before but a colleague was shocked to hear I pay £1000pcm for childcare. And that's for one child in school (but needing wraparound most days)I reckon I spent around 35k for 4 years part time cover. (2 years per child but not full time)
This was just to cover age 1 to age 3
I can't even contemplate tallying up how much I've paid in the last four years.
Its such a difficult time. Dont get me wrong, my children both got so much out of nursery and the people who worked with them were literal angels. They made returning to work so much easier but its still eye watering to look back on.I've whinge about this before but a colleague was shocked to hear I pay £1000pcm for childcare. And that's for one child in school (but needing wraparound most days)
I can't even contemplate tallying up how much I've paid in the last four years.
I darent add up the loss of earnings from being part time either!
Women get really shafted - it’s not just the immediate loss of earnings it’s loss of pensions contributions, student loans repayments, even NI stamps, and possibly even unpaid parental leave. And that’s not even factoring in other things such as un/conscious bias against them and progression - if I didn’t have a toddler I’d have gone for roles the next level up but I won’t because I don’t have the extra to give atm.
Full time childcare with no free hours or tax free help for 3 years is just shy of a six figure sum. With inevitable annual price increases it’ll very likely cross over into 6 figs.
Pension contributions (albeit not many from me) was one of the reasons I did go back.
I like going to work though, Im a better parent for going to work, more exhausted and hurried for sure but it was never not an option for me even though for a while there was no financial gain really.
The pandemic, with flexible working has made it so much easier to work and parent. Only took millions of people dying
I blame the toxic side of feminism for that, coupled with the rise in consumerism
As a young mum in the 70s, I didnt have to work nor did any of my peers, one wage was enough to get through the basics of life. OK no holidays abroad or takeaways a few times a week etc but no one did that anyway.
People were conned that if both parents worked we could have it all,. All it really achieved is everyone paying for others to look after their children even those who look after children are paying people to look after their children. The breakdown of families and communities all came about at the same time.
Sorry but I can’t agree with this. There’s something to be said for the unpaid and oftentimes unacknowledged labour of women/mothers, the marriage premium we confer onto our partner’s earning potential, the mental burden of motherhood, etc etc etc but I don’t think the above is it tbh.
I don’t have to work but choose to because I enjoy it and tbh because I’m in a career that earns well and took a lot of hard work to achieve so I don’t want to squander it. Me working enables us to make massive overpayments on the mortgage & save for our LO’s future. We’re second gen to this country and first gen grad/high earners so all we’ve got is all we’ve got and I’d be insane to squander an opportunity to build intergenerational wealth for my LO?
I don’t think an early years setting is just paying someone to look after your child, it’s more like a preschool and my child is more capable and confident for being there. Maybe back in the day it was more possible to socialise and educate your children in informal settings with friends who’ve all got similarly aged children but now the best case alternative is a 60-90 minute baby class is the best you’ll get in a day and oftentimes they’re naff with very little interaction between the children or educational value.
Idk I don’t like the idea of feminism being dragged into this, until men are getting the same level of questioning re their childcare choices it’s not a convo I want to have so not sure why I even replied really. Big ups working mums you’re doing it for your reasons and children of working mums have better educational outcomes so your kids are noticing your hard work
My post was not about those who want to work. that's choice, choice is always a good thing.
Then what does paid childcare have to do with the breakdown of family & communities?
LOL !!!! suuuure, its feminisms fault
logic has left the chat...There are plenty of paid childcarers that would prefer to be home looking after their own children My post was about them and others like them in all types of work
LOL !!!! suuuure, its feminisms fault
Feminism is great but that does not mean every single thing about it is great.
Feminism is trying to get the dinosaur politicians to get us heavily subsidised care. Because we want to work. Because we contribute a massive amount to the economy, we deserve bigger subsidies.
This! Pay women for the work they do, including stay at home mums cos their work has value!
I reject the idea that being a good mother means selling myself short? I still thinking earning potential is capped if you’re a mother/have a high earning partner you have to be somewhat available to support but why does voluntarily crushing my earning potential, leaving me at the mercy of a man’s decision making, leaving myself pensionless and assetless, and bored stiff all day isolated in a society no longer accommodating to mothers and children result in a great family that’s an asset to its local community?
I think this is quite a white MC portrayal of what family should look like too, WC women have been working out the home for years before MC women popularised yuppy feminism in the 80s or girl boss feminism of the 00s.
Don’t get me wrong it’s bleeping hard and I cry at least once a week but I know I’m doing right by all of us with my decision to work. I know this is a v privileged stance but I’m working to give my daughter choices I never ever had so I’m not gonna be made to feel like I’m poisoning society for that. What society anyway lol cos last time I checked I was the one that dragged myself through uni and those early 20s grind years completely alone?
I agree that more should be done to help with the cost of childcare, which is a barrier to employment for many women.
When faced with a choice of working, or staying at home looking after a child/children, the latter will always take priority.
Oh agreed @heretoreaditall2019 my mother (born in the 60s) and my grandmother (born late 30s) both worked full time out of the home through necessity. Two working adults in the home also
Neither myself or my mother had extravagant upbringings. All of my clothes as a child were second hand or third hand. There was no over consumption. It was necessary to pay the bills and put food on the table. My father worked a full time job, a part time job and my mother worked full time.
So I dont think its a relatively new thing at all
Neither myself or my mother had extravagant upbringings. All of my clothes as a child were second hand or third hand. There was no over consumption. It was necessary to pay the bills and put food on the table. My father worked a full time job, a part time job and my mother worked full time.
So I dont think its a relatively new thing at all
Also what I can’t understand is we all know a woman who’s been completely shafted by her husband? Even those married to very high earners living in gated communities end up like any other single mum because it’s only ever ur husband’s money. Why on earth would anyone voluntarily put themselves in such a precarious situation if they don’t have to?Oh agreed @heretoreaditall2019 my mother (born in the 60s) and my grandmother (born late 30s) both worked full time out of the home through necessity. Two working adults in the home also
Neither myself or my mother had extravagant upbringings. All of my clothes as a child were second hand or third hand. There was no over consumption. It was necessary to pay the bills and put food on the table. My father worked a full time job, a part time job and my mother worked full time.
So I dont think its a relatively new thing at all
My mum went out to work full time as soon as my youngest sibling started school, we were latchkey kids, like thousands of others in the '70s. The only reason she didn't work before that was because she had 5 kids and no childcare. We were very poor up until that point, though nowhere near the level of poverty others lived in.
Really, I think you and your friends were quite lucky if you could afford not to work, even if you did live a simple lifestyle (which I completely agree with).
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