If you think it’s boring and can’t muster any joy, do a favour, duck off out of it.
Drop this twit from your happy day x (and the rest)
Drop this twit from your happy day x (and the rest)
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I’m not married but I’ve read soo many stories like this and I always wonder why this happens? I wonder if it’s a jealousy thing?I regret having one of my friends as a bridesmaid. She acted the same, zero interest in the wedding and me in general. I confronted her and said if she wanted to just be a guest and wear her own thing etc then that would be fine, and one less for me to pay for hair and makeup. She insisted she did. The last time I spoke to her was my wedding day 5 years agoshe’s totally ghosted me since then. Weddings seem to bring out the worst in people, I would get rid, I wish I had
it baffles me, I don’t know if they just want the attention of being a bridesmaid?
I think you should cut it off friendship wise, it does t sound much of one! If you do decide to keep her as bridesmaid have her at the end of your photo lineups so you can physically cut her out of the pictures if needs be down the line 
Good luck either way and I hope you have a great wedding!
Good luck either way and I hope you have a great wedding!
The wedding/bridesmaid is the red herring here
It’s the friendship which is the issue, or lack of it.
Personally I wouldn’t waste my time trying to explain to her why you are upset. She’s an adult, her behaviour isn’t going to change because it’s not just one major hurtful incident
I wouldn’t waste my energy demoting her all you need to do is have a game plan…..after the wedding let the friendship fizzle
No drama
No argument
Just stop trying
My wedding is in December after that she’s absolutely no where on my list of friendship or effort.
I also can’t stand her behaviour when it comes to men and relationships
I just can’t align with her
She’s forever dating the wrong guys who treat her so badly and even when they dump or ghost her she insists on keeping in contact, sleeping with them or sending them presents
It’s such drama
She’s always crying over them even though she refuses to take any responsibility
She’s had a fwb for five years hoping he will change his mind, she insists on keeping touch with him and the same goes for her last duck boi
After eight years of friendship we’re no longer on the same page and I find it immature
It’s the friendship which is the issue, or lack of it.
Personally I wouldn’t waste my time trying to explain to her why you are upset. She’s an adult, her behaviour isn’t going to change because it’s not just one major hurtful incident
I wouldn’t waste my energy demoting her all you need to do is have a game plan…..after the wedding let the friendship fizzle
No drama
No argument
Just stop trying
My wedding is in December after that she’s absolutely no where on my list of friendship or effort.
I also can’t stand her behaviour when it comes to men and relationships
I just can’t align with her
She’s forever dating the wrong guys who treat her so badly and even when they dump or ghost her she insists on keeping in contact, sleeping with them or sending them presents
It’s such drama
She’s always crying over them even though she refuses to take any responsibility
She’s had a fwb for five years hoping he will change his mind, she insists on keeping touch with him and the same goes for her last duck boi
After eight years of friendship we’re no longer on the same page and I find it immature
Thank you so much!! I think it’s a difficult one but I’m going to say I’ve had budget cuts!I think you should cut it off friendship wise, it does t sound much of one! If you do decide to keep her as bridesmaid have her at the end of your photo lineups so you can physically cut her out of the pictures if needs be down the line
Good luck either way and I hope you have a great wedding!
Thank you so much! A lot of that mirrors my friend to be honest. Always asking advice and taking over everything, yet never ever taking the advice! I think unfortunately sometimes you can mature but the other person doesn’t or grows in a different way
When I got married my then best friend at the time was going to be my MOH, it was a small wedding and she was actually going to be the only adult bridesmaid, so as long as the dress matched our colour scheme there wasn’t too much stress on the shape or price, and we’d offered to pay for her hair and makeup but she was disinterested everytime I bought the conversation up or planning to go out together to look for something. It was months of this and she always made excuses.
It got to just over a month left before our big day and I just messaged her and said she either needs to sort something out over the weekend or not come. Looking back it does make me feel a little bit like a bridezilla but there was plenty of time before this and she just kept making excuses. She was making things stressful both for me and my partner because we had everything else organised and sorted.
Yes we did fall out and stopped talking after this but it was so much stress lifted from planning what is meant to be one of the best days. She did reach out to me a few years after to apologise but we were never really friends again.
you might be able to avoid losing her as a friend if you use the budget cut reason but also it doesn’t sound like she’s a great friend anyway
It got to just over a month left before our big day and I just messaged her and said she either needs to sort something out over the weekend or not come. Looking back it does make me feel a little bit like a bridezilla but there was plenty of time before this and she just kept making excuses. She was making things stressful both for me and my partner because we had everything else organised and sorted.
Yes we did fall out and stopped talking after this but it was so much stress lifted from planning what is meant to be one of the best days. She did reach out to me a few years after to apologise but we were never really friends again.
you might be able to avoid losing her as a friend if you use the budget cut reason but also it doesn’t sound like she’s a great friend anyway
I just don't understand why you'd rather pay to have this person be a bridesmaid at your wedding and in all your photos for the rest of your life to avoid having a conversation with her now? There doesn't need to be an argument, just send one text then mute her and it's done. December is a way off yet, that's a while to still be worrying about this
Ahh that’s really sad.When I got married my then best friend at the time was going to be my MOH, it was a small wedding and she was actually going to be the only adult bridesmaid, so as long as the dress matched our colour scheme there wasn’t too much stress on the shape or price, and we’d offered to pay for her hair and makeup but she was disinterested everytime I bought the conversation up or planning to go out together to look for something. It was months of this and she always made excuses.
It got to just over a month left before our big day and I just messaged her and said she either needs to sort something out over the weekend or not come. Looking back it does make me feel a little bit like a bridezilla but there was plenty of time before this and she just kept making excuses. She was making things stressful both for me and my partner because we had everything else organised and sorted.
Yes we did fall out and stopped talking after this but it was so much stress lifted from planning what is meant to be one of the best days. She did reach out to me a few years after to apologise but we were never really friends again.
you might be able to avoid losing her as a friend if you use the budget cut reason but also it doesn’t sound like she’s a great friend anyway
i get weddings aren’t everyone’s cup of tea and apart from the couple, not everyone is going to have a huge level of interest but personally I’d be so excited for my friends and so honoured to be asked too. I can’t complain much as most of mine have been amazing, I know I didn’t have much to test them with but they’ve replied right away and suggested ideas and said yes or no to things right away and it was just so easy.
i know some would think I’m being petty but I think it’s a big reflection of the overall friendship and you’ve got to look at things
Because that’s my decison
That’s how I have decided to handle it and I have responded to the initial advice with my own experience
You don’t have to like it or agree but I prefer not to have an argument and besides it’s all sorted now in terms of the dress I’ve bought her
Apart from the hair on the day that’s it
I’m not worried about it I’ve just decided that next year is a new leaf and that I won’t be making the extra effort I normally do with her and by that logic our friendship will prob fizzle
Some friends are for life others you grow out of
I know it's your decision - it's just quite an immature way to go about things as an adult, which is why I asked - but hey ho
How is that immature?
Im not looking for a bun fight from you, I was just giving the poster my experience of how I handle it
It’s not immature
It is actually not harming anyone
You've just written a big long post of everything you don't like about this woman, and frankly it sounds like you can't stand her, but you'd rather spend money on a dress etc for her, have someone you can't stand in your wedding photos forever, because you're scared to tell her you'd rather she wasn't a bridesmaid? I'm sad for you tbh, sometimes difficult conversations have to be had, it doesn't have to turn into an argument. Your wedding your life though
I would definitely not have her as bridesmaid. I hate difficult conversations too but personally I’d be worrying about how this cow would behave on the day, and the money I’d spend on her, only to never talk to her again after wedding, and the cow is in all my wedding photos? So not worth any hassle, as the saying goes “ she’d only be laughing at ya” if you still let her be bridesmaid.
No need for any meeting up. Quick text saying no thanks I don’t need you as a bridesmaid and ignore any replies! Honestly much better than having that ungrateful witch around you on you and your partners special day.
Best of luck, let us know how it pans out
No need for any meeting up. Quick text saying no thanks I don’t need you as a bridesmaid and ignore any replies! Honestly much better than having that ungrateful witch around you on you and your partners special day.
Best of luck, let us know how it pans out