Dealing with abortion

[whoareyouu]

Just came back on here to read everyone’s messages of love and support, thank you so much . I have my pre assessment tomorrow morning for the surgery . The medical professionals thought this would be better for me than the mediation. I hope I’m doing the right thing . X

I think if you’re even thinking about it, then it is the right thing to do. Remember, we are all here for you

 

[Whatnow21]

I'm about 7 weeks pregnant unplanned. I'd already picked up the medical abortion pack from NUPAS and was planning to go through with it later this week. It would be the second time I've done this. I was so scared the first time but it wasn't too bad, some painful but not unbearable cramps for a few hours and bleeding like a heavy period. This time I've been having a bit of spotting since Sunday and yesterday it got a fair bit heavier and I've had cramps down there (not awful though). Felt like I just wanted to sit on the loo a bit yesterday afternoon and I was passing a bit of blood, but not like my previous termination. I had spoken to NUPAS before it got heavier and am booked in for a scan Thursday afternoon. They advised not to take the meds yet. I'm just wondering, if I have miscarried, will they provide any further treatment I need, or am I likely to be passed over to the NHS? I really hope not as NUPAS have been amazing.

 

[Lalalalaaaaaa85]

I'm about 7 weeks pregnant unplanned. I'd already picked up the medical abortion pack from NUPAS and was planning to go through with it later this week. It would be the second time I've done this. I was so scared the first time but it wasn't too bad, some painful but not unbearable cramps for a few hours and bleeding like a heavy period. This time I've been having a bit of spotting since Sunday and yesterday it got a fair bit heavier and I've had cramps down there (not awful though). Felt like I just wanted to sit on the loo a bit yesterday afternoon and I was passing a bit of blood, but not like my previous termination. I had spoken to NUPAS before it got heavier and am booked in for a scan Thursday afternoon. They advised not to take the meds yet. I'm just wondering, if I have miscarried, will they provide any further treatment I need, or am I likely to be passed over to the NHS? I really hope not as NUPAS have been amazing.

It’s been about 20 years since I had a miscarriage but the only thing I had after was a blood test a little while after just to check my HCG levels were dropping in line with what they’d expect. I didn’t get a scan. That was an unwanted pregnancy and was in the process of sorting an abortion and it was such a relief to miscarry instead. Hope all goes well for you

 

[mushroomprincess22]

I’ve got my surgical abortion tomorrow. I know I’ve said it before but I just wanted to thank everyone again so much for their kindness and messages of love and support, you may all be strangers on the internet but you’ve helped me more than you could ever know . If it’s ok with everyone I’d like to share my experience online when I’m able to, just for anyone who may come to this thread and find themselves in a similar position and be wondering what to expect with the surgery etc. I think it’s going to be a long night with lots of tears but I know I’m going to be ok in the end. Thank you all again so very much from the bottom of my (very broken) heart . You are all very special ladies. X

 

[Lalalalaaaaaa85]

I’ve got my surgical abortion tomorrow. I know I’ve said it before but I just wanted to thank everyone again so much for their kindness and messages of love and support, you may all be strangers on the internet but you’ve helped me more than you could ever know . If it’s ok with everyone I’d like to share my experience online when I’m able to, just for anyone who may come to this thread and find themselves in a similar position and be wondering what to expect with the surgery etc. I think it’s going to be a long night with lots of tears but I know I’m going to be ok in the end. Thank you all again so very much from the bottom of my (very broken) heart . You are all very special ladies. X

Sending you lots of love and of course come back when you’re ready and share your story if you want to. As you say it’s great advice for those who come after us

 

[Eureka]

I’ve got my surgical abortion tomorrow. I know I’ve said it before but I just wanted to thank everyone again so much for their kindness and messages of love and support, you may all be strangers on the internet but you’ve helped me more than you could ever know . If it’s ok with everyone I’d like to share my experience online when I’m able to, just for anyone who may come to this thread and find themselves in a similar position and be wondering what to expect with the surgery etc. I think it’s going to be a long night with lots of tears but I know I’m going to be ok in the end. Thank you all again so very much from the bottom of my (very broken) heart . You are all very special ladies. X

You got this

 

[murielsweddingplanner]

I’ve got my surgical abortion tomorrow. I know I’ve said it before but I just wanted to thank everyone again so much for their kindness and messages of love and support, you may all be strangers on the internet but you’ve helped me more than you could ever know . If it’s ok with everyone I’d like to share my experience online when I’m able to, just for anyone who may come to this thread and find themselves in a similar position and be wondering what to expect with the surgery etc. I think it’s going to be a long night with lots of tears but I know I’m going to be ok in the end. Thank you all again so very much from the bottom of my (very broken) heart . You are all very special ladies. X

Ive only just discovered this thread. But i wish you the best of luck having experienced same 14yrs ago. I was 1 day legally allowed from doing so as i was quite far on once i found out. Personal circmstances i had to do what was best at time for me as mum and my baby daughter and knowing id be single mum very shortly after for other reasons. He left a mth later sl my instincts was right.
Once i came around from op...i was highly medicated and i sobbed saying is it too late to change my mind. But now looking back it was best choice made...give it time, lots of rest hun...and acknowledge for your own reasons you did best you needed too... i promise it will all come around in years to come, and you will see you made beat choice you needed too. Best of luck many of us have been there in the past x

 

[RainbowFuzz]

I’ve got my surgical abortion tomorrow. I know I’ve said it before but I just wanted to thank everyone again so much for their kindness and messages of love and support, you may all be strangers on the internet but you’ve helped me more than you could ever know . If it’s ok with everyone I’d like to share my experience online when I’m able to, just for anyone who may come to this thread and find themselves in a similar position and be wondering what to expect with the surgery etc. I think it’s going to be a long night with lots of tears but I know I’m going to be ok in the end. Thank you all again so very much from the bottom of my (very broken) heart . You are all very special ladies. X

I've been a lurker on this thread but just wanted to say that I've been thinking of you and I hope you're doing ok

 

[mushroomprincess22]

I've been a lurker on this thread but just wanted to say that I've been thinking of you and I hope you're doing ok

This is ever so sweet, thank you ever so much for thinking of me . I’m “ok” thank you. As best as can be anyway.

Maybe a trigger warning below so please don’t read on if you don’t want to -

Everything went as well as it could have done 17 days ago. Apart from having to sit in the waiting room for 3.5 hours before I got called through (that was extremely hard. I think they must have been running behind?), I am so immensely grateful and so thankful for the care and treatment that I received through MSI. I believe they used to be Marie Stopes.

I feel really “happy” (it feels wrong to use that word) in my decision to have had the surgery rather than the tablets.

There was a lovely space while I was waiting to be called in for my surgery, where I was left to undress and there was a wall full of sticky notes with words of comfort, kindness and support from other women that had been in my position prior. With things like “forgive yourself”, “you have the right to choose”, “you are still a good person”, “everything will be ok” etc. I was already very emotional at that point but reading those meant so much to me and made the tears fall even harder.

While I’m still really hurting inside, I hope it will get easier with time. I decided to name a star after the baby and I also opted to take the remains home, which I have since buried and planted some flowers on top which I care for daily.

I think that’s been the hardest part of all for me - battling with my thoughts that because I chose to have an abortion, I therefore don’t have the right to grieve or mourn that loss. I so wish I could have kept my child but it wasn’t the right thing to do. I made the decision FOR that child, for my other children and for our relationship. I’ll carry them and the “what if” with me for the rest of my life and I hope that they will forgive me for what I’ve done.

Once again, thank you for asking about me . To anyone reading this, if you find yourself in this position - Please feel confident in going through MSI. I really can’t praise them enough, I felt so supported during and after. X

 

[RainbowFuzz]

So pleased to hear you're doing ok and that the experience was one of support and comfort for you. I can say from experience that although it will never leave you, it does get easier with time. It's 30 years since mine and every now and then I catch myself thinking gosh I'd have a 30 year old child right now, I know that I made the best decision for me and for them at that time and I have never regretted it. Sending you gentle hugs and lots of love

 

[yellowflower274]

This is ever so sweet, thank you ever so much for thinking of me . I’m “ok” thank you. As best as can be anyway.

Maybe a trigger warning below so please don’t read on if you don’t want to -

Everything went as well as it could have done 17 days ago. Apart from having to sit in the waiting room for 3.5 hours before I got called through (that was extremely hard. I think they must have been running behind?), I am so immensely grateful and so thankful for the care and treatment that I received through MSI. I believe they used to be Marie Stopes.

I feel really “happy” (it feels wrong to use that word) in my decision to have had the surgery rather than the tablets.

There was a lovely space while I was waiting to be called in for my surgery, where I was left to undress and there was a wall full of sticky notes with words of comfort, kindness and support from other women that had been in my position prior. With things like “forgive yourself”, “you have the right to choose”, “you are still a good person”, “everything will be ok” etc. I was already very emotional at that point but reading those meant so much to me and made the tears fall even harder.

While I’m still really hurting inside, I hope it will get easier with time. I decided to name a star after the baby and I also opted to take the remains home, which I have since buried and planted some flowers on top which I care for daily.

I think that’s been the hardest part of all for me - battling with my thoughts that because I chose to have an abortion, I therefore don’t have the right to grieve or mourn that loss. I so wish I could have kept my child but it wasn’t the right thing to do. I made the decision FOR that child, for my other children and for our relationship. I’ll carry them and the “what if” with me for the rest of my life and I hope that they will forgive me for what I’ve done.

Once again, thank you for asking about me . To anyone reading this, if you find yourself in this position - Please feel confident in going through MSI. I really can’t praise them enough, I felt so supported during and after. X

This is truly beautiful to read. I had my abortion just over 4 years ago now and was 22 at the time, I’m now 27 and 13 weeks pregnant with a very much wanted baby. I’m so proud of my past self for making that decision as if we’d have kept that pregnancy, the two would have been raised so differently due to finances etc and not being emotionally ready. Choosing to have an abortion is not easy in the slightest, you should be proud of yourself and definitely grieve or mourn any way you need to do, I know I did. I also felt so sad for my former self when I found out I was pregnant that first time round as it was like night and day two very different moments and experiences. It’s so tough but you will feel much better soon I hope xxx

 

[PuritySpiral]

So pleased to hear you're doing ok and that the experience was one of support and comfort for you. I can say from experience that although it will never leave you, it does get easier with time. It's 30 years since mine and every now and then I catch myself thinking gosh I'd have a 30 year old child right now, I know that I made the best decision for me and for them at that time and I have never regretted it. Sending you gentle hugs and lots of love

30 years since mine too. At the time it was definitely forced on me and I resented it for so long and it shaped decisions I made. But that path led to other children later on in a considered way and me being able to provide for them, and myself, in a way I never would have been able to if I'd been a teenage mum. I didn't/couldn't see it at the time but with the fullness of hindsight it was the best thing for all concerned then and now x

 

[Lalalalaaaaaa85]

I’m a year on from my abortion now and at times I do wonder what things would have been like but I’m also so glad I did it. Especially as my ex is now shacked up with the girl I now know he was cheating on me with when I found out I was pregnant. It’s bad enough I have to share the child we already have with them but if I’d have had to share my baby with them I think I’d have had a breakdown.

I love this thread

 

[Pushyplumb]

Sending love. I had my abortion many years ago now. It wasn't an easy decision. Remember sitting at the tube station on the way to the appointment being really split on if I should go through with it but now I have no regrets. I don't think I would survived a pregnancy not knowing if I could financially and emotionally support an unplanned baby.

It isn't an easy decision to make but it isn't something I think about often now.