Dating after lockdown #5 The MANdemic

[Bettyboo2021]

Parking this here so true

 

[ComeForTheX StayForTheY]

This WhatsApp photo / random guy gets in touch is definitely a thing I changed mine a few months ago and got a message from a former tinder guy saying "nice pic". That was it.
I mean I guess I shouldn't have expected: "hey lovely photo, is that from your trip to xxx you were previously planning? How have you been? I realised after we stopped talking that I had been a bit of a dickhead, and I wish to apologize and take you for a drink to hopefully show there is more to me than that"
Why is the standard of men soooo low? "Nice pic"? What do I do with that?! I swear he was hoping for "Thank you, can I pop over and hop on your dick tonight please?"
Just so completely thick and moronic.

 

[freaknasty]

I feel like I’m the most horrible person in this thread, every time I see someone saying someone isn’t texting them back or is being distant I just want to shout “MOVE ON YOU DESERVE BETTER IF HE WANTED TO HE WOULD”

 

[Bettyboo2021]

Footballs got them distracted

There’s one thing that’s not coming home...my sex life

 

[emm]

The final episode of Confessions of a Tinder Toyboy (aka Stranger Things) Friday's episode concludes.

So, my last text was to point out how his priorities magically shifted after I declined a video call, only to suddenly revert back when he noticed my WhatsApp pic had vanished. His reply.

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He'd dramatically declares that he'd been offline all week. Not true and I told him. He story then changes. Gotta say, he talks to his manager and some wacky times. 2.30 am, really? He rambles further...

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And that's where I left it as I couldn't be arsed replying anymore. He is laying it on thick trying to convince me, but once they do the Houdini, my interest level plummets It's really very hard to recapture once you suspect they're BS'ing.

the only positive I would say is that he has good grammar and punctuation

 

[Bettyboo2021]

I’m reading all these stories about guys going quiet quite soon after you sleep with them, and I remember how judgy people can be “oh you slept with him on a second date etc no wonder he’s gone off you” and how crap it made me feel...no I slept with him because I liked him and had honest intentions?! These guys seem all about the chase and the love bombing and I Think once they realise they’re dealing with a living breathing person with feelings who actually wants a relationship they can’t handle it and cut and run...which they would of done had I slept with them on date 2 or date 7 it was never long term for them. Don’t ever feel bad of regret something you did with a good heart because you can always look back and know that

 

[Woolmercardington]

I'm not sure what he was going for here, but this reminds me of when you'd get out the bath when you were little and your mum would wrap a towel around you

 

[LaurieLaurie]

 

[bookish]

I had a guy completely break my heart about 3 years ago, we went out for about a year which doesn’t sound that long but he was constantly telling me I was all he’d ever wanted, he introduced me to his kids and to his family it was all great. Then he started the slow fade, not answering my calls, leaving texts on read until eventually he just ghosted me completely. It took me quite a while to get over it. Fast forward to now and he’s just sent me a friend request on Facebook, I have no intention of accepting it as I’m not opening myself up to that again but my question is why do they seem to reappear at exactly the wrong time?

Here's the one main piece of advice I have for anyone who is hurt by someone in the past. Getting back with a person who hurt you is like getting out of the shower and putting on the dirty underwear you had on before. Don't do it if you have any self-respect or personal hygiene.

 

[Bettyboo2021]

Happy Saturday Saw this made me laugh

 

[ComeForTheX StayForTheY]

I definitely don’t agree a pump and dump will wait months, unless they’re a total psychopath!

They exist! I was texting a guy over lockdown 1, made him wait months, he said he wanted a relationship etc then as soon as we had sex he went cold, like he didn't even message me after I went home. I called him the next day and he didn't pick up and replied "did you mean to call me". Given we had been messaging constantly before then I was pretty upset.
Anyway I never chased him because I didn't want to be THAT person and a few weeks later he got in touch and asked if he had been fucked and chucked
He KNEW that HE'D been cold on ME and was basically making out us not talking was my fault...
Months later he saw me back on a dating app and got in touch via whatsapp. I told him we were on different pages, and he said he was looking for a relationship. So I said (to test him) that I only wanted something casual and he was like yeah that works
So I just blocked him.

 

[square_spoon]

Direct.

 

[Clickbait]

Doesn’t matter if you ask and get it signed in blood, a lot of men will lie to get what they want and move on. It’s an awful feeling when this happens, particularly if you felt you’d been really clear about what you were looking for and they’d confirmed they were on the same page.

I’m not sure it matters how long you wait either, if their plan is to pump and dump they’ll hold out. The only thing you can do is be sure you want to sleep with them - you’re not coerced into it thinking it will make a relationship more likely - and that you’re prepared that they may turn around and bolt when you do. It’s an awful world we live in when you have to prepare yourself for disappointment like this but none of it is your fault.

Be warned, some of these men will come crawling back with a lot of excuses about why they ran - “it felt it was moving too quickly”, “I wasn’t ready for a relationship”, “I had loads going on and didn’t have time for a relationship”, or some who just pretend no time has elapsed and they’re picking things up from the day before. Make sure you don’t engage or better still tell them you were secretly pleased they did a runner because you weren’t sure how to tell them their penis was too small and they couldn’t satisfy you in bed.

 

[Bellaboo83]

Started chatting to someone today who is 28. He’s just said to me that he’s currently house sitting for his parents and asked if I want to go round ???? Sorry but is it just me that finds it very weird to be inviting random girls round to his mum and dads house

House sitting..... good one

Just watch him lead you up to his single bed in his bedroom still decorated with football posters

 

[sleepflowers]

To be fair I've been on the apps for a long time but it's because everyone's so awful and the men cockblock themselves rather than anything I tend to do

I'm getting deja vu with conversations like this, constantly.

 

[Clickbait]

It’s crazy how many elderly relatives become critically ill or drop dead around the time of a date isn’t it? Next time I’ve got one lined up I’ll be sure to warn my Nan not to leave the house for the preceding 48 hours.

I worked with someone who had 5 days off (compassionate leave) when his father died, more discretionary leave when his step-father died, time off after a bicycle accident that he said he went to A&E for and then came into work the following week without a scratch riding said bike.

The following year after being reckless with his annual leave management he tried to resurrect the dead by saying his dad had died - I forwarded his email from months before and enquired “same one or different?” Leave request was promptly cancelled

 

[freaknasty]

New thread title:

Dating 6: block him

 

[SophSpinsSillyStories]

Guys I can’t sleep - just had a mare of an evening so any advice here would be SO muchly appreciated. Long ramblely post incoming:

I’ve been seeing this guy and today was only our third date. I asked him if he was free tonight on Tuesday and he said yes, but he had work drinks and I said I was fine to see him after. I told him he needed to organise something because he hadn’t booked anything on our other dates (he just likes to turn up without a res…). So last night I texted him asking where we’re going and he just said we’ll meet in the general vicinity of where he works cos that’s where he’ll be, and that there’s “loads of fun stuff” to do around there (again no concrete plan). I felt uneasy about this but I didn’t want to nag so I left him to it.

I had a really busy work day so wasn’t thinking about him at all. He texted me at 4pm asking when I would like to meet. I said whenever he’s done with his work drinks I’ll meet him after. He asked if 6:30 would be ok but I knew I wouldn’t be finished work by then because I was so busy. So I told him the earliest I could possibly see him was 7:30. He said that was fine, then asked if he should come to me - but I told him I’ll see him after his friends.

At 6:30 he texted me he’s done with drinks but will head slowly to where we were supposed to meet. I got done with work just before 7, and told him I’d probably be there after 7:30. He’s like nice ive found us a table and tells me he’s in the back. It’s now 7:20 and I tell him thanks for sorting and sorry for the inevitable wait. I then jump in the shower, do my hair and makeup and he’s like not to rush you but my phone is about to die - and says he’ll hang around until 8:30 but if I’m later than that he’s gotta go. I tell him I’ll be there by then. I keep updating him and at 8 I tell him I’m leaving and I’m 20 mins away. His phone died by this point.

Bear in mind the venue is like Dinerama - huge outdoor loads of people everywhere. I get there and am searching for this kid everywhere. All he told me was that he was in the back and I obviously can’t call or text him. After looking EVERYWHERE and asking staff etc. It dawns on me that he left. I was so shocked because he said he’ll wait to 8:30 and I had gotten there just before. I ask staff like is this the whole venue or is there more? Turns bloody out that there’s a whole other building next door that is part of it and I go next door and start looking around. A waitress calls me over and is like are you looking for someone? I tell her my friend was waiting and she’s like yeah I saw him he looked really sad he was here for ages but he left. I was like I feel so bad but he knew I was going to be late. His phone died and I couldn’t find him - I was looking next door. She’s like I don’t know why he didn’t give his phone to us to charge.

As I was leaving (still in total disbelief) all the staff I had asked for help were like “did you find your friend?” And honestly I wanted to burst into tears. I was so embarrassed and shocked that he’d left. I sent him a couple texts shocked texts and asked him to talk to me when he’s phone is back up.

About an hour later he replies and tells me he’s so pissed off. Like really emphasises how angry he is. Says he waited for over two hours. I was like ?! You said you’ll be here till 8:30 but when I got here you were gone?? I call him and he doesn’t pick up. He says he wants to talk another day when he’s less pissed off.

We continue to text and I just tell him I’m so confused he left before I got there when he knew I was running late and he said he’d be around till 8:30. He goes on about how he waited till quarter to 9 which was really fucking patient of him. The thing is we were there at the same time but I couldn’t find him because of the whole dead phone thing. He’s like I can’t believe you haven’t apologised yet, I waited over an hour and even an extra fifteen minutes to give you the benefit of the doubt. He says we can talk on the phone but he has nothing else to say.

I call him and explain I’m shocked he left before I got there and how I couldn’t find him but we definitely overlapped. He told me he was done. I was upset because I like him and I had been looking forward to seeing him all week. Maybe I’m completely in the wrong (which is why I’m here) but i thought the whole thing with the phone was a massive issue but he wouldn’t concede that at all. Or the fact the whole thing was poorly planned at the 11th hour. He just kept repeating how all of it was “on me”, no matter what I said.

am i really in the wrong here?

Playing devil’s advocate here, but you did say you’d be able to meet him at 7:30 but didn’t turn up until 8:30 - the punctual person in me would have got really frustrated with waiting around.

 

[Woolmercardington]

Every once in a while, there is a profile so eloquent, it's like poetry.

 

[freaknasty]

Sat here shaking because the ghost has just text me. Said sorry for the lack of contact somethings been going on with his mum. No questions/ kiss but do I reply? Ill feel bad if I don’t as I don’t want to seem like a heartless bish

Don’t respond, I can guarantee it’s just an excuse. It takes ten seconds to send a message, if something was wrong he should’ve told you before he ghosted.