Dating after lockdown #10 Morris dancing with red flags

[LaurieLaurie]

I've thought about all that yesterday and I was willing him to do what he had promised and to call me, soo disappointed that he hasn't but in my heart I think he would also be a no show for our planned date on Saturday.

I have always regretted giving people a second chance but I have never regretted telling them to fuck off.

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

@Bettyboo2021 This is going to sound harsh but I feel like you might need to take a bit of ownership for this one. This man showed you exactly who he was as a person the very first time you spoke to him. He then showed you again a few weeks ago by cancelling a date on the day you’d arranged to meet. Why on Earth would you a) Waste one more second of your time speaking to him and b) Give him a third chance to shit on you? This was never going to end well. The man is a tool. He couldn’t have made that more apparent if he had it tattooed on his forehead.

Please, please stop putting yourself into these situations. It’s not good for you at all and I worry about the overall effect it’s going to have on your state of mind if it carries on.

 

[Fourcandles]

Went on my second date last night, it was generally quite good and he was fun but it took a bit of a nasty turn when I said I wasn’t going home with him. He bombarded me with messages while I was on the way home and was quite aggressive with it. It shook me up a little bit. I blocked him on WhatsApp and today got a text message from him saying could we treat it as a misunderstanding that got out of hand and try again. Honestly, who thinks that is the right way to respond to being blocked? I would have thought that was a clear indication that I wanted nothing more to do with him.

I feel a bit sad and unnerved that he felt so entitled to me. I’ve never had a man behave or react like that before.

 

[Clementine]

You beat me to it, basically typed out the same comment haha. I cannot understand what he's trying to say. Why is he adding letters on to everyy few wordss like thiss?

To emphasise the cuntishness.

Sorry, I’m not making light of your situation, but please block him. To use his type of communication, he’s chatting bare shit.

He knows you’re better than him, which is why he’s trying to cling on. From how you write, your holiday etc and he’s pissing about working for one day. No. Get him in the

 

[Clickbait]

Definitely given me something to think about ...I will wait to see if the promised call happens today and then make a decision...

Good idea. I worry he’s full of shit, but you have to make the right decision for you. If he doesn’t call as promised then I would say enough is enough. Norfolk has some areas of bad reception but not as many as you might expect.

I’ve been having such a run of bad men, I‘ve realised the problem is with me. I’m the common denominator aren’t I. With every single one there were so many red flags right from the start. I was mad to even entertain dating any of them.

This is progress, but I hurt like fuck right now. I’m going to go on meet up and start some healthy hobbies with nice normal people.

I think you’re making bad choices because you’re so desperate for a connection with someone that if Hannibal Lecter invited you over for a roast dinner with a nice Chianti you’d have already booked the Uber!



Take some time, grieve the past, plan for a healthier future with someone who deserves your company. Maybe consider if a ‘geezer’ is actually what you need? That seems to be code for rude, aggressive arseholes.

 

[PiesAndLattes]

Now I really am done with dating

Just remember that not everyone will be to your taste so we can’t expect the same from everyone else. Don’t take it personally, but I do think you might (respectfully) need to take a break from dating till you discover what you really want. It may really help your self-esteem too xx

 

[Clementine]

These men and their melodramatics, man. Absolute clowns.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Ahhhhh. Texting people like this never achieves anything but I hope you feel better for getting it off your chest.

 

[justapossum]

I cracked up at "rahh what's is it?"

 

[NoseyNiamh]

Hey Niamh! I'm alright thanks. Looking forward to the weekend. How are you?

I was poorly this week . I feel a little bit better now, I might be able to force a glass of wine in to me later
I must read through the previous thread to catch up on everyone's news.

I'm still seeing the new guy and I couldn't be happier. It's like every bit of anxiety has left my body

 

[Pocahontas]

May I just say, when I kicked off a few weeks ago and started slinging about the c word, I was in a very dark place and in a lot of pain. Please everyone, including the mods, bear that in mind

Dark place or not, there’s plenty of support and advice provided on here without resorting to calling other posters cunts.

 

[Bagpuss7]

Does anyone else getting this feeling of doom immediately come over them when they say

' I'm in bed babe, what you doing ? ' ... ' I'm the bath babe, what you doing ?' ...you just know the next sentences are going to take the form of " I'm soo horny " " I wish you were here babe " 🥱

 

[NoseyNiamh]

I wasn't around on the earlier threads but since getting involved on this I can really see some of us changing our thinking about relationships and the kind of behaviour we feel is acceptable. It's great to see

I know it'll be a long process for some of us but I think the fact that we are taking the time to put our feelings and concerns into words on this thread is a form of therapy and its making is think through the scenario.

We are doing really well

 

[NoseyNiamh]

View attachment 780082
These messages have given me the major ick

Just going by the messages...you two are on completely different wavelengths.

I can't decipher them at all. What is Snm?

 

[Very traditional]

Oh wow. I thought your response to me about the shoes was funny, I've never heard it before, then you edited it to add all the other stuff and call me a c@nt!!

I'm sorry I upset you but I am allowed an opinion.

E. If you don't walk in my shoes don't tell me how to tie my laces


Thank you Bunny. My first proper relationship was sexual abusive, my second physically abusive, where I ended up in hospital
And this marriage that has been emotionally abusive full of him gaslighting me.
So sorry I know FaceTime man isn't right for me but I'm not thinking of his girlfriend because I felt good for a short while

@Very traditional glad you find that so funny, what a cunt you are

Please don’t use the C word at each other. World is full of enough hate already

Totally agree - I'm really sorry I've upset her, if I was too harsh then I apologise, I have repeatedly said that it's not just the g/f who will get hurt and that I hope she realises that she is worth more than she's getting, I certainly don't deserve to be called the C word.

 

[square_spoon]

I have always regretted giving people a second chance but I have never regretted telling them to fuck off.

This is a thousand percent. My friends and I always say we’ve never given someone a second chance and lived to think it was a great idea

Ladies my latest pro bono divorce/custody leper has either deleted his profile/blocked me after I gave him a recommendation for a family law solicitor to advise him on his case When he asked me I was like ‘hey Bobby this isn’t the reason you matched me is it?’. Girls he was MOST offended I would even suggest it! ‘No way square_spoon, I’m not that kind of guy!!!’

Unbeknownst to said leper I’d done some digging on his situation and it’s far from as broken up as he claims it is (he is such a noob to online dating that he gave me enough info to figure it out). So I recommended the most eye-wateringly expensive family law specialist I know (who is at best mediocre at his job) but told leper boy that high cost = better and it’ll be worth every penny. Pig.

 

[Mr Sparkle]

Hey gang, broke it off with non-spark guy and he's suggested staying friends as we're both into the same sports.

Feeling relieved that I did the right thing, but also gutted and sad to be back at square one and single AF right at the start of winter

 

[HelloStereo]

Learnt how to be assertive this evening. Had some guy try it on with the whole "what are you doing after. Come out with me". ..

Usually I would just be polite and joke along to relieve tension but tonight I just said "no. I don't want to. " and he walked off.

I know it is a little thing but just a reminder that what we want is just as valid as what the guys want. I doubt we hurt their feelings that much and we have to value ourselves and what we want and what we think is okay rather than trying to appease male ideals to not be viewed negatively.

 

[katyazamo]

My ex has been sniffing around, and you know when you just KNOW something is afoot...

Turns out he's splitting up with his current girlfriend and he's moving out of their flat and back in with his parents! And she's keeping the dog! I don't like to take enjoyment out of someone's misfortune but... he got with her the same week I moved out of our place and had her lined up towards the end of our relationship anyway... well, you reap what you sow eh? Good luck to him

 

[hereforthememe]

Good luck darling. Who with and what are you doing?

Just a drink as it was the first date. Oh my god he is so fit, fitter than his photos and the conversation just flowed

And he kissed me! I don't always kiss on the the first date, but again it was just there

So watch this space haha