I'd like to try but from what I've seen on photos of friends who have been and enjoyed, is that they seem to be allocated a table at meal times and must stick to that. Or that its a shirt and tie and posh frock for evening dinner. Not that I would turn up in t-shirt and shorts. Please correct me if I am wrong. Also the husband has a chronic fear of heights and I doubt he'd cope with being on deck. Does anyone have any input on this?
So...
Meal times are dependent on your package/ship. Some offer set times/tables, others offer more flexibility. My husband and I always choose to eat by ourselves, we are antisocial and our holidays are time together, not getting to know other people.
Formals are a very personal preference, but you don't have to take part. My husband and I will take outfits, and see how we feel, there's normally 3-4 on a 2 week cruise. If you don't want to dress up, then you can eat in the buffet. P&O won't let you in some bars on formal nights if your not in 'black tie', but personally it's a loose term. Men don't need a Tux, (suit with jacket and tie is enough) women can just wear something that you'd wear to a nice restaurant (doesn't need to be a ballgown!)
On a 'normal' night I'd just wear something simple, even just black skinnies and a nice top.
Heights is a funny one, I'm not scared of them, do maybe my view won't be accurate. But you don't feel 'high' on deck, unless you look over the railing. It's just like a floating hotel. Would he feel weird on a rooftop pool or bar in a hotel?