Coronavirus Disease Outbreak COVID-19 #59

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Yep. And even past Thursday flights will still be coming in and out. No checks. Nada.
This is so baffling to me! Not even asking people to quarantine for two weeks? I feel like I have spent all of 2020 just looking at my phone going ‘huh?’ ‘What?’ ‘Why?’ ‘No!’.🤯
 
  • Like
Reactions: 4
Thank you. It’s all too much, it’s causing me extreme anxiety and panic. I feel so stressed and poorly. I really can’t involve anyone else as I couldn’t cope with it. I’m just living in hope he calms and sees the error of his ways. I miss my son 😢
I mean this in the nicest possible way but this has been going on for long enough as it is, and you don't know when it'll end. He needs to be forced to take responsibility for his actions and realise that his behaviour is unacceptable. He's causing four people mental distress... that's not right. And the worrying thing is the longer you tolerate it the more he'll think it's ok to carry on being that way, and your other kids will potentially learn the same behaviours.

You need to start thinking about the damage all this is causing you and your family and weigh up the benefits of him leaving compared to him staying.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 11
He actually worked from zoom al the way through his Covid and no one noticed any difference in him- same as 99.9% of people his age he clearly had it very very mild. The press have definitely exaggerated. Why are people shocked when someone has had covid? Over a million people in this country have
I wasn’t shocked ? I was wondering would they have let Harry take the throne if anything happened him
 
I mean this in the nicest possible way but this has been going on for long enough as it is, and you don't know when it'll end. He needs to be forced to take responsibility for his actions and realise that his behaviour is unacceptable. He's causing four people mental distress... that's not right. And the worrying thing is the longer you tolerate it the more he'll think it's ok to carry on being that way, and your other kids will potentially learn the same behaviours.

You need to start thinking about the damage all this is causing you and your family and weigh up the benefits of him leaving compared to him staying.
All of this. It’s so damaging to the other children. And Beth knows first hand what can happen living with a violent sibling and parents who enable this behaviour.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 5
Thank you so much. It was a very hard time but thankfully since staying away from my extended family I’ve slowly recovered and therapy helped. I didn’t even realise I had ptsd, thought it was just anxiety. Then I developed physical health issues from years of stress. It’s been so hard dealing with this with my son.

My sons always been fiery but never to this extreme, it’s so triggering living with someone who behaves very much like the extended family you’ve had to keep out of your life. My other 2 children are so kind and caring, I miss my son also being like that. He’s only behaved this aggressive the last 4 months because he has a girlfriend that lives in Liverpool and I think he’s just been really angry about all the restrictions where she lives and he’s taking everything out on us and blames us. We wouldn’t let him break the rules and still meet her so he’s angry at us for following rules. It’s been extremely difficult. I really do think if you didn’t have a girlfriend then we wouldn’t be going through this because he was absolutely fine when the whole country was in lockdown initially even though he was still seeing her then. I think once he could meet her he was angry it was restricted again he was also angry in the summer that when he did meet her we had some rules about where he could go. We stuck to the rules of meeting outside and limited exposure in restaurants etc to continue our safety. He hates us for that. He still did day trips to Chester and the zoo etc but because his gf family don’t care and went anywhere and on holidays etc we were seen as OTT. It’s then he began to hate us and became aggressive.

We in the summer let our children meet friends but we didn’t allow people in our house or cinemas or enclosed spaces. Our daughter gave us a bit of grief for a while and she still thinks we’ve been OTT because her friends all do sleepovers, cinemas, days out to Blackpool etc and they still are meeting in eachothers houses despite Welsh lockdown So we’re the worst people ever. They both at times have made me feel I’ve done things wrong 😢

My daughter has never been aggressive or angry but of course naturally she’s felt upset as her friends parents were so laid back and we were seen as being OTT but their parents don’t have health issues like we have. I know of a local 40 year old lady no health issues who passed from covid and her husband has long lasting heart problems after having it. I’m not willing to take that chance with me and my husband who do have health problems. We’ve done our best to support our children but it’s been nothing but conflict from our son and he doesn’t care to understand.

Sorey to offload and thank you for being so kind. It’s been a hard weekend since my sons outburst, I’ve felt very upset. Xx
Really hope you are OK and things work out for you all. Did I read in one of your previous posts that he's 18? I think it's actually really hard on this age group because they are just treading that fine line of becoming an adult. Especially tough on those that still live at home but would usually have a relative amount of freedom to do/see things and all of a sudden there are these rules in place that they have to follow and, like in your household, parents are having to enforce them. It obviously does not excuse his behaviour, but I do understand why so many of this age group struggle with compliance or get overly angry at those who are making/enforcing the rules. It's hard for parents to say to their 17/18 year olds that they can't go out etc, so despite his reactions you should still feel proud that you have been strong enough to do what you think is best to keep yourself and your family safe. I know some parents who really struggled when the schools closed initially back in March and many people had house parties before lockdown and these parents told their kids/young adults that they weren't allowed to go to them.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 3
I’m not talking about china’s measures as I agree we wouldn’t follow them, but I am talking about being able to ramp up testing to the point where we are able to test entire areas to isolate outbreaks as they did in China.

So for instance, an outbreak happened in a town in China and they tested 18 million people over 2 weeks to isolate it. We should be aiming to do similar if for instance, an out break happened in Liverpool - they go into a 2 week lockdown where everyone is tested and the outbreak stopped. Asymptomatic and presymptomatic cases are the main problem with spreading and this targets that.
Also Melbourne basically managed it and look how well they have done? Of course it is easier in a country that is not a democracy but a sense of civic pride would go a long way imo
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2
👵🏻Ah you young ones! Wait until you get to 37 and your back hurts most the time and you put your shoulder out putting on a jumper and everyone in the world is younger than you and you’re actually contemplating asking for some socks for Christmas cos you’ve seen a pair that look really lovely. Just wait! 😄
My back hurts most of the time already and I piss myself whenever I sneeze I feel like I’m majority of the way there 😂 I do love a good pair of socks for Christmas although this year I have asked my mum to buy me one of those big bulk bags of tea bags you get in tesco 😳😂
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 15
They can develop the best track and trace system in the world but the real problem is

1. Getting hold of people to tell them they have tested positive/have been exposed and need to self isolate and
2. People self isolating for the full 14 days.

To me that’s the real issue here. I read like only 20% (might not have even been that much!) actually go through and do the full 14 day isolation. So they are unwittingly passing on the virus.
The big problem is how do you enforce it...
 
  • Like
Reactions: 6
Ugh now Farage is sticking his oar in, just what we all need 😬
 
  • Like
  • Angry
  • Haha
Reactions: 9
They can develop the best track and trace system in the world but the real problem is

1. Getting hold of people to tell them they have tested positive/have been exposed and need to self isolate and
2. People self isolating for the full 14 days.

To me that’s the real issue here. I read like only 20% (might not have even been that much!) actually go through and do the full 14 day isolation. So they are unwittingly passing on the virus.
The big problem is how do you enforce it...
So true. We had one case in our church since reopening. It was someone who was waiting for the results of the test (!) and decided to go to church. Crazy.
Fortunately PHE was happy with the measures we had in place and they basically said “do not worry, no one needs to self-isolate”. But the fact that people are so stupid to go out and about after waiting for the results of the test!
 
  • Like
Reactions: 3
They can develop the best track and trace system in the world but the real problem is

1. Getting hold of people to tell them they have tested positive/have been exposed and need to self isolate and
2. People self isolating for the full 14 days.

To me that’s the real issue here. I read like only 20% (might not have even been that much!) actually go through and do the full 14 day isolation. So they are unwittingly passing on the virus.
The big problem is how do you enforce it...
If those are the problems I’d argue it’s not the best track and trace system in the world.

I have a friend staying abroad and upon arrival she had to quarantine for 14 days. Someone showed up at her hotel every single day of the 14 days at different times.

Getting hold of people? Have an enforcer go to their residence to inform them they have a stay at home order for 14 days and give them a test kit.

You can say this will cost a lot of money - it will, but probably not more than the next few lockdowns will cost.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 6
If those are the problems I’d argue it’s not the best track and trace system in the world.

I have a friend staying abroad and upon arrival she had to quarantine for 14 days. Someone showed up at her hotel every single day of the 14 days at different times. Getting hold of people? Have an enforcer go to their residence to inform them they have a stay at home order for 14 days and give them a test kit.

You can say this will cost a lot of money - it will, but probably not more than the next few lockdowns will cost.
And it’ll give people jobs
 
  • Like
Reactions: 7
If those are the problems I’d argue it’s not the best track and trace system in the world.

I have a friend staying abroad and upon arrival she had to quarantine for 14 days. Someone showed up at her hotel every single day of the 14 days at different times.

Getting hold of people? Have an enforcer go to their residence to inform them they have a stay at home order for 14 days and give them a test kit.

You can say this will cost a lot of money - it will, but probably not more than the next few lockdowns will cost.
Yeah it'll cost a lot but we've already spent 9 billion on the system and it doesn't work. It's probably cheaper to employ someone to stand at the end of every street in the UK than it is to keep spaffing money on a system that is not working!
 
  • Like
Reactions: 5
Really hope you are OK and things work out for you all. Did I read in one of your previous posts that he's 18? I think it's actually really hard on this age group because they are just treading that fine line of becoming an adult. Especially tough on those that still live at home but would usually have a relative amount of freedom to do/see things and all of a sudden there are these rules in place that they have to follow and, like in your household, parents are having to enforce them. It obviously does not excuse his behaviour, but I do understand why so many of this age group struggle with compliance or get overly angry at those who are making/enforcing the rules. It's hard for parents to say to their 17/18 year olds that they can't go out etc, so despite his reactions you should still feel proud that you have been strong enough to do what you think is best to keep yourself and your family safe. I know some parents who really struggled when the schools closed initially back in March and many people had house parties before lockdown and these parents told their kids/young adults that they weren't allowed to go to them.
Thank you so much.

Yes he turned 18 in lockdown and he was so good about it. His behaviour changed late June and he became so angry towards us as shielding ended in August because we still kept some safety measures in place as advised. Then once lockdown began in Liverpool and our local area he became really volatile and aggressive in his tone.

I really do understand it’s a hard age and he’s a very outgoing boy. It just find it so hard to understand why he would blame us and why he also wouldn’t want to keeps his parents safe. If it were children who were high risk as adults we would do anything to keep them safe, with no complaints. I feel he wouldn’t change until he saw one of us on a ventilator 😢When Boris accounted the second lockdown he again blew up at us and said ‘there’s no risk!!!!!!! Yea I can go and meet my girlfriend in Liverpool you can’t stop me’. She’s in Knowsley and her family are going through covid and just because they’ve had it mild he’s now at the assumption it’s just a mild cold and we’re OTT.

It’s an extremely difficult situation. I am just living in hope work will help his mental health and he will see the error of his ways at home.
Xxx
 
  • Sad
Reactions: 1
I just need to write this down to process it I think. It is going to sound very self absorbed but I need to vent.

I am honestly feeling very anxious about Thursday and beyond in the context of my relationship. We are only officially 2 months in (although had been talking on the phone for months daily previously) so it’s very new to us. I think four weeks will be difficult enough, but if they just keep extending it then I know I will be a mess. I understand that because it is the beginning of the relationship that I am feeling everything very intensely anyway, but I really don’t want to be away from him during this time. I know that we can meet outside one on one and go for a walk, but it isn’t the same as cuddling together on the sofa, cooking together or doing something fun. I am so worried that this lockdown will create distance between us, just because of the way the World is right now. I know that I need to think positively because negative thinking makes negative things happen, but it’s so hard to do that.

We went out for dinner outside last night (as I am in a Tier 2 area and you are still able to do that up until Thursday). It was really lovely and he seems to be the one shining star that I have in this whole World of darkness. I am terrified of losing him. While we were at dinner, he took my hands, looked me dead in the eyes and told me that “I mean the world to him” and that he ”isn’t going anywhere“. I believe him when he says this but I just feel that circumstances out of our control might force us apart. During the last lockdown we were living in different counties and I was in an abusive relationship wanting to leave and he was feeling suicidal due to lack of social life and a breakup three months prior which knocked him for six. We were there for each other throughout, so I think we can do it again, but there is more to lose now. Am I being stupid?
No your not being stupid, but take it easy and try to be a bit more relaxed about things. What will be will be.X
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 4
I mean this in the nicest possible way but this has been going on for long enough as it is, and you don't know when it'll end. He needs to be forced to take responsibility for his actions and realise that his behaviour is unacceptable. He's causing four people mental distress... that's not right. And the worrying thing is the longer you tolerate it the more he'll think it's ok to carry on being that way, and your other kids will potentially learn the same behaviours.

You need to start thinking about the damage all this is causing you and your family and weigh up the benefits of him leaving compared to him staying.
I completely agree. This weekend he exploded over the rules Boris put in place for England and blamed us and was swearing at us saying ‘there’s no risk!!!!’ He’s in complete denial. We can’t discuss covid, he has his head in the sand and doesn’t realise how bad it is. If I mention figures he walks away and won’t listen. There’s no reasoning with him. He’s affecting all of us and I hate that. My other son suffered bullying in his final year at school and has only recently started feeling much better (he finished year 11 of school this year) and so this distress at home I worry how it is affecting him.

It’s got to the point I don’t speak to my son. He apologised last Monday via text but only because he wanted a lift to pizza hut from his dad, but then a few days later he was vile again lashing out, so I’ve learnt my lesson and I’m not backing down this time. I feel I’m being childish but I don’t know what else to do. I’ve brushed his outbursts under the carpet to keep the peace for too long and like you say that gives the wrong message to him.

My husband laid down the law on Saturday and said ‘that’s it no more. You live by our rules, you show respect and kindness or you move out. We’re in this together and trying to get through this year the best we can but you’re dragging us all down with you because you are a denier’. He also told him to stop emotionally blackmailing me with ‘I’ll go live with your family’ because he knows that’ll hurt me. His words were ‘if mum thinks I’m blackmailing her she’s mental’. So hubby said he was out of order saying such things and we’re not accepting it anymore. He’s been quiet ever since. It’s got to the point even if he went to my family who I have no contact with since my brother assaulted me, I wouldn’t care because he is using it to hurt me. Which really is so hurtful as he knows being the eldest what my family did to me.

We are a good family, a kind family and we don’t deserve this treatment from our son. Thank you for your reply to me x

Sounds like there’s a cycle of victim and persecutor going on here. Without intensive anger management therapy and a trip to the doctors for your son, there’s not much you can do apart from set a good example to your other children and let him go. He is an adult now and there are repercussions to his actions. Let him move out and your home will be a better place.
I agree. I’d just be heart broken to lose him but I feel I already have and my heart is already broken. If he went to my extended family it would bring up so much trauma for me, that’s the only place he could go as his grandad is high risk so couldn’t take him in.

All I want is for us all to get along and get through this as a United family like we were in the beginning and like we are with our other children. I’m not trying to be a victim in any way but he feels he is and he can’t see his behaviour is wrong. He speaks to us like dirt and has lost all respect for us which is extremely upsetting. We’re good parents and our other 2 children are extremely respectful, our eldest sadly inherited his fiery side from my father and behaves so much like him with these outbursts but it’s no excuse for his behaviour, he knows right from wrong. I just want my son back and for us all to support eachother again.
 
  • Heart
  • Like
  • Sad
Reactions: 5
A family we know are on their way home from their sixth holiday abroad of this year and are moaning about having to isolate. My heart bleeds!
 
  • Wow
  • Like
  • Angry
Reactions: 10
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.