Coronavirus Disease Outbreak COVID-19 #50

nobrains · Sep 22, 2020

BethB said:
Yet he’s 18. No he refuses to pay his way, he said I’m not paying to live here with these restrictions. He is furloughed currently. He’s acting like he’s 13. God it’s hard work. I’m exhausted with it, it’s flared up my chronic health issues and caused a huge relapse with my anxiety disorder. I have ptsd due to being assaulted by a male family member 8 years ago. I can’t deal with aggression from men. This has all caused so many problems and I just wish this year was over

Thank you.

As a mum I’m terrified of him moving out. He’s threatened to go to my mum. I don’t speak to my mum. My brother assaulted me 8 years ago and my mother and sisters who are also very aggressive threw abuse at me for 2 years as police were involved in the assault. When I refused to forgive my brother my mum cut me out of the family.We don’t speak to my extended family as they’re extremely violent and damaging, my son lately has threatened to move in with my mum and my extended family knowing how much that would hurt me. I’ve moved on from it, I was diagnosed with ptsd abad anxiety after the assault and had therapy which worked wonders. I’ve my own lovely family but these last 2 months have been awful and triggered my anxiety all over again living with him being aggressive. My family are so loving and caring, we’ve stuck together through everything and now this has tore us apart. My other 2 children are so down loving with their brother like this.

I’m always so kind to him and try to get him to calmly understand but he’s not headed and lashes out. I can’t win. I let him go to driving lessons, meet his gf once a week, see friends outdoors for walks and football. It’s never enough and he refuses to listen to his bad Boris has said things are getting again.

Sorry this got so long. I’ve had such a hard night and I just wanted to make sure I was right that if his gf county is in lockdown she’s not allowed to be mixing with others as that’s what I read and my friend said it’s accurate but she and my son said I’m lying.

I'm sorry for all you've been through and your situation with you family but I have to say your son sounds like an obnoxious brat! He is an adult and he knows how he behaves makes you feel,I would have never tret or made my mum feel like he does with you. Quiet honestly, if it was my son I would tell him to go but not come back until he grows up. If his girlfriend and her parents love him so much and think it's all fine maybe they would like the pleasures of his company for the forseeable future. Ugh I am genuinely angry for you and would love to give him a piece of my mind

monga · Sep 22, 2020

Chloesm said:
As someone has mentioned in the thread, at the beginning of August cases have slightly risen due to people going to clubs and mix and mingling basically.
So as early as mid August the government shut clubs again and imposed wearing masks outside from 6pm onwards (we are still following this rule now)
Other measures:
-Masks are compulsory everywhere indoors (restaurants, bars, food shops etc etc) and that applies both to clients and workers
-There hand sanitiser stands at the entrance of each shop, bar, restaurant. You have to sanitise your hands before you touch everything (there is security checking)
-Restaurant dont operate at full capacity and wherever is possible, they should have tables outside
-Schools re opened last week and we're having a sort of "blended learning" so online and physical attendance mixed. There are classes that go to school for 2 weeks and then they when they go online, other classes will you back to school and viceversa. Everyone has to wear masks, even kids except when they're in the classroom but still tables are 1m distanced. These rules apply to primary school, middle school and high school
-Universities. They're opening in October and it's again a mix between online and physical lectures. Masks are compulsory etc etc
-We don't have any restriction and never had since we re-opened after the 18th of May, about mixing household, gatherings etc. And to be fair it never has caused a problem
-Tests run smoothly, you can go to drive-ins for swab tests or your gp could prescribe you blood analysis.
- People go normally to work.
-Transport wise, you can't get on a bus, train or whatsoever if you don't wear a mask. In my city buses are not operating at full capacity, they've increased rides so that everyone could be included basically

Oh yes! Back in spring we were allowed to go food shopping but we were advised to go only once a week in order to make sure that supermarkets could be as empty as possible

Also another difference is that here people have never stockpiled and when I still was in the UK when the pandemic began, I couldn't understand why everyone was panic buying my parents who were in Italy and therefore already on lockdown were telling me " It's a really weird behaviour, they have to understand that even tough you are confined home, supermarkets are still opened"

Yes that's exactly what she said ,and couldn't get over the panic buying ,she said there was never a food shortage

265 · Sep 22, 2020

Some GREAT News, I hope it's true!

Troops may be drafted to enforce the new coronavirus crackdown

Boris Johnson revealed soldiers could be brought in under Operation Temperer, to help police enforce the latest coronavirus crackdown

www.dailymail.co.uk

6 months too fucking late.

BethB · Sep 22, 2020

hrh89 said:
I’ll be honest I don’t know the full rules of area specific lockdowns but either way it’s a case of even if it were “allowed” it’s not sensible. I think a lot of young people (not all) think this doesn’t matter and doesn’t affect them. They just want their fun lifestyle like it was before. The fact is the longer people ignore these guidelines the longer they will go on. Would he rather a few more months or this or have it extend to 6 months and beyond??? It must be very hard for you trying to get through to him. I’m so sorry to read what you have been through and how he knows going to your mum will hurt you. He’s emotionally blackmailing you which is horrible and selfish

Is there any way you can speak calmly to his girlfriends mum? She may be thinking similar but doesn’t know how to approach it either? Just a thought maybe you could discuss it together.
It’s such a tough situation especially as you have two other children too. He should be doing what you ask and respecting his mother but it seems like at the moment he cannot see the impact of his actions

Thank you so much. I appreciate your reply, it’s helping me realise I’m not to blame and his actions are wrong. He won’t listen to me or his dad. It’s impacting us all and making us all feel very stressed and down.

I don’t know his gf as they only got together before lockdown. Otherwise I think I would definitely have spoken to her.

Thank you so much x

nobrains said:
I'm sorry for all you've been through and your situation with you family but I have to say your son sounds like an obnoxious brat! He is an adult and he knows how he behaves makes you feel,I would have never tret or made my mum feel like he does with you. Quiet honestly, if it was my son I would tell him to go but not come back until he grows up. If his girlfriend and her parents love him so much and think it's all fine maybe they would like the pleasures of his company for the forseeable future. Ugh I am genuinely angry for you and would love to give him a piece of my mind

Thank you so much. I appreciate your reply, it’s helped to reassure me I’m not wrong.
He is being a complete brat and I’ll be honest even my father in law agrees, he’s showing traits of my brother and father and that’s very upsetting to see. They’re extremely selfish and hot headed and it’s not nice to see this side come out in my child. I got away from that family after a lifetime of trauma. I really find it hard having a son acting so fiery and blowing up, I feel like I’m walking on eggshells.

I knew his gf lived in Liverpool but when I found out where exactly she was from I looked it up tonight and saw they were in lockdown and I was shocked he knew and was going to meet her without telling us they were in lockdown. I only found out tonight that area in the North West has high cases. I’m glad I looked it up or he would have gone putting us at risk.

monga said:
Are there no travel restrictions in Wales ? maybe if he did move in with your mum it might open his eyes as to how good his life is at home ,the grass isn't always greener (and all that) maybe he'd be back with his tail between his legs and show you a bit more appreciation ..

I don’t think there are in North Wales.

Haha, he would hate living with my family, he himself says how toxic and horrible they are as he witnessed a lot of their aggression when he was younger before I saw sense and walked away from them for my children’s sakes.

monga · Sep 23, 2020

BethB said:
Thank you so much. I appreciate your reply, it’s helping me realise I’m not to blame and his actions are wrong. He won’t listen to me or his dad. It’s impacting us all and making us all feel very stressed and down.

I don’t know his gf as they only got together before lockdown. Otherwise I think I would definitely have spoken to her.

Thank you so much x

Thank you so much. I appreciate your reply, it’s helped to reassure me I’m not wrong.
He is being a complete brat and I’ll be honest even my father in law agrees, he’s showing traits of my brother and father and that’s very upsetting to see. They’re extremely selfish and hot headed and it’s not nice to see this side come out in my child. I got away from that family after a lifetime of trauma. I really find it hard having a son acting so fiery and blowing up, I feel like I’m walking on eggshells.

I knew his gf lived in Liverpool but when I found out where exactly she was from I looked it up tonight and saw they were in lockdown and I was shocked he knew and was going to meet her without telling us they were in lockdown. I only found out tonight that area in the North West has high cases. I’m glad I looked it up or he would have gone putting us at risk.

I don’t think there are in North Wales.

Haha, he would hate living with my family, he himself says how toxic and horrible they are as he witnessed a lot of their aggression when he was younger before I saw sense and walked away from them for my children’s sakes.

Like someone else said he's blackmailing you in a round about way I'd call his bluff ,teenagers are hard work I've one myself but make the ground rules and stick to them ,if you let him walk over you he'll keep doing it .Mum guilt is hard but if it's affecting your family life you'll have to do something ...

Bitofthebubbly · Sep 23, 2020

Norman29 said:
A stitch in time saves 9 is going to be the new infuriating catchphrase that I will never want to hear again.

I feel like someone, somewhere has this quote tattooed on themselves and is now intensely regretting that decision.

Kim Mild said:
His hair is such an unusual shade of blonde . I was trying to think if I know anyone with hair that colour in real life. I don't think I do, I know more ginger people.

His hair reminds me of straw both in colour and texture.

Interestingbitsnbats · Sep 23, 2020

Schools should open the kids what aren't in school are just hanging round going to shops and food chains making arseholes of themselves. Groups more than 6 etc. They are breaking rules but nothing said. Im pretty sure a group of 8 lads what didn't look under the age of 11 with no facemasks laughing and swearing getting in people's way at home bargains touching everything and trying to pinch things isnt home schooling

hnoz · Sep 23, 2020

Interestingbitsnbats said:
Schools should open the kids what aren't in school are just hanging round going to shops and food chains making arseholes of themselves. Groups more than 6 etc. They are breaking rules but nothing said. Im pretty sure a group of 8 lads what didn't look under the age of 11 with no facemasks laughing and swearing getting in people's way at home bargains touching everything and trying to pinch things isnt home schooling

Are you living under a rock?
Schools are all open? The odd one might have closed for a day or two for a deep clean but that doesn’t mean schools are closed.
People aren’t home schooling anymore?
How long did you sleep for? It’s the end of September love

SassyRiv77 · Sep 23, 2020

I’m a single mum with 4 kids and I will still see my parents twice a week, being penalised because I have a large family it’s ludicrous and pushed me to the edges of despair last time for what? I’ve not seen a single person test positive let alone die. My boyfriend still stayed 3 nights a week as usual throughout the last lockdown, to no ill effect. I’m afraid most of the country has gotten wise to the fact this doesn’t impose a risk to them, me included. We are supposed to lock ourselves down for the sake of less than 1%. It’s madness anyone is still even complying. There’s more scaremongering here than the daily fail - I feel sorry for anyone still feeling anxious over something that poses less risk than getting struck and killed by lightening. I won’t follow any rules and I can guarantee by next summer me and my family will still be here alive and unaffected and I won’t have a fine to pay.

FlipFlop0706 · Sep 23, 2020

BethB said:
Can someone tell me I’ve been right here. I’ve posted before my 18 year old has been very hostile the last 2 months. We were shielding so once out of that we took extra care, still let him meet his girlfriend, a driving lesson each week and see friends outdoors but he kept lashing out wanting more and more. Wanting to go in multiple households, friends cars etc

His girlfriend lives in Huyton, Liverpool and they’re in a lockdown.He told me that they were meeting on Friday in Chester. I did a little bit research first to make sure I was accurate before I brought up the conversation. I told him that I’d read that her area were in lockdown, that they should not be meeting anyone other than their own household and that includes outdoors. So I said you shouldn’t be meeting her because it actually says in the rules that if the county is in lockdown that they should not be meeting people indoors or outdoors to stop the spread.

I explained that her parents shouldn’t really be allowing her to come out of Liverpool to meet him anyway because that puts us at risk and other people. He of course got really aggressive in his tone. He started punching his desk and growling with anger. I had a panic attack. It’s been like this for two months we can’t approach anything with him. He’s always been a bit hot-headed but nothing like this. In lockdown he was absolutely fine but once shielding lifted here in Wales he just wanted life to go back to normal. Which we of course understand it’s difficult but our other two children aren’t behaving aggressively towards us, they have friends and want to live normally too but they understand that we’re in a pandemic and we have to just live carefully right now. So they meet their friends outdoors and avoid busy shops, cinemas etc.

Please can someone tell me that I was right that if they are in lockdown in her area then the rule is that they can’t meet other people. They just have to stay within their own household? He’s told her tonight what’s happened I’ve heard him on the phone to her and she said that I’m lying and that she can meet people and carry on as normal. What makes this worse is her mum is a nurse and she is allowing her daughter to go out meeting other people. Each to their own but if you’re in lockdown surely you should be sticking to the rules.

My friend was very upset about what happened to me tonight and he told me that lockdown is because the cases are extremely high in those areas and there is a £10,000 fine if anyone is caught mixing with other people. My sons girlfriend said that my friend was lying too and it’s made my son turn against me even more. I’m just trying to keep us safe and I’m sick of him being angry with me for that. He knew her area was in lockdown and wasn’t going to tell me

At 18, he is of age for his own decisions. So if he goes knowing full well there is a lockdown there, then i’d say by all means go then. Calmly provide him with a link to the rules saying Liverpool is in lockdown. Don’t debate it with him, it’s a fact. Say that it’s his choice to risk a £10000 fine and that he will be the one that is held legally responsible in paying it.

In addition, with respect i do hope he is paying you rent/board. Think a little wake up call is needed in order to get you the respect you deserve. Put your foot down, you are doing the right thing

caitlinbullen · Sep 23, 2020

BethB said:
if his gf county is in lockdown she’s not allowed to be mixing with others as that’s what I read and my friend said it’s accurate but she and my son said I’m lying.

You are correct and he is wrong. You can find the current regulations for Merseyside here https://www.gov.uk/guidance/north-west-england-local-restrictions#affected-local-areas

Your son is being a dick, but he’s an adult so you can’t exactly force him to do anything.

If it were me I would try to speak to him reasonably one more time, explaining to him that his behaviour is unacceptable and that in order to protect yourself and your younger children, if he decides to (knowingly) break the rules (and more importantly act aggressively towards you making you feel unsafe), then he should indeed contact your Mum and request to live there for the foreseeable. Basically call his bluff. Do you think your Mum will welcome him with open arms and he’ll have a brand new amazing life without you? Nope I don’t think so either.....

From what you’ve said he is aggressive and rude and knows exactly the impact he is having. He is old enough to know better and it sounds like he throws the threat of siding with your estranged family around to hurt you. I suspect that they might not be as keen as you think to welcome him and the grass isn’t greener! Particularly if he continue to act like as big a dick as he sounds right now. He will quickly realise that he’s made a mistake. Make it very clear that you love him and he is always welcome back to your family home on the understanding that he is polite, respectful, and sticks to the very well publicised and legally enforceable rule of law in this country!

I think most of all you would really benefit from having some more confidence in your parenting, your absolute right to feel safe in your own home, and the knowledge that you deserve the respect and a higher degree of deference from your son.

Pixipoppy · Sep 23, 2020

265 said:
Some GREAT News, I hope it's true!

Troops may be drafted to enforce the new coronavirus crackdown

Boris Johnson revealed soldiers could be brought in under Operation Temperer, to help police enforce the latest coronavirus crackdown

www.dailymail.co.uk

6 months too fucking late.

It’s not to patrol the streets it’s to do some police roles like protecting sites and admin stuff to free the police up to... patrol the streets. In reality I doubt anything is actually going to change

JLXRD · Sep 23, 2020

BethB said:
Can someone tell me I’ve been right here. I’ve posted before my 18 year old has been very hostile the last 2 months. We were shielding so once out of that we took extra care, still let him meet his girlfriend, a driving lesson each week and see friends outdoors but he kept lashing out wanting more and more. Wanting to go in multiple households, friends cars etc

His girlfriend lives in Huyton, Liverpool and they’re in a lockdown.He told me that they were meeting on Friday in Chester. I did a little bit research first to make sure I was accurate before I brought up the conversation. I told him that I’d read that her area were in lockdown, that they should not be meeting anyone other than their own household and that includes outdoors. So I said you shouldn’t be meeting her because it actually says in the rules that if the county is in lockdown that they should not be meeting people indoors or outdoors to stop the spread.

I explained that her parents shouldn’t really be allowing her to come out of Liverpool to meet him anyway because that puts us at risk and other people. He of course got really aggressive in his tone. He started punching his desk and growling with anger. I had a panic attack. It’s been like this for two months we can’t approach anything with him. He’s always been a bit hot-headed but nothing like this. In lockdown he was absolutely fine but once shielding lifted here in Wales he just wanted life to go back to normal. Which we of course understand it’s difficult but our other two children aren’t behaving aggressively towards us, they have friends and want to live normally too but they understand that we’re in a pandemic and we have to just live carefully right now. So they meet their friends outdoors and avoid busy shops, cinemas etc.

Please can someone tell me that I was right that if they are in lockdown in her area then the rule is that they can’t meet other people. They just have to stay within their own household? He’s told her tonight what’s happened I’ve heard him on the phone to her and she said that I’m lying and that she can meet people and carry on as normal. What makes this worse is her mum is a nurse and she is allowing her daughter to go out meeting other people. Each to their own but if you’re in lockdown surely you should be sticking to the rules.

My friend was very upset about what happened to me tonight and he told me that lockdown is because the cases are extremely high in those areas and there is a £10,000 fine if anyone is caught mixing with other people. My sons girlfriend said that my friend was lying too and it’s made my son turn against me even more. I’m just trying to keep us safe and I’m sick of him being angry with me for that. He knew her area was in lockdown and wasn’t going to tell me

You son’s behaviour aside which is really unacceptable and I’m sorry you’re having to deal with it right now

I think I remember reading that people in a local lockdown area can leave the area to go on holiday but still can’t mix with others in their house or stay with them but could for example meet friends in a restaurant whilst on holiday. So if they were meeting in a public place I think technically based on the rules it’s ok?

not saying it’s good or right just going off the hat the rules say re those in lockdown areas etc.. so that could be what he means in it’s allowed? Not 100 percent sure though

monga · Sep 23, 2020

500 Uni students in Scotland asked to isolate

Bobbleowl90 · Sep 23, 2020

So my covid friend obsessed friend runs a gym class and was worried she couldn’t do more than 6 but thinks that because she sticks to the rules she is allowed more than 6 in a class? Is this right? If so then what a complete and utter mockery.

hnoz · Sep 23, 2020

Bobbleowl90 said:
So my covid friend obsessed friend runs a gym class and was worried she couldn’t do more than 6 but thinks that because she sticks to the rules she is allowed more than 6 in a class? Is this right? If so then what a complete and utter mockery.

The rule of 6 is social, not for businesses otherwise restaurants or workplaces could only have 6 people total.

Bobbleowl90 · Sep 23, 2020

hnoz said:
The rule of 6 is social, not for businesses otherwise restaurants or workplaces would only be 6 people total.

Ahh I see. Thank you.

prinnygrace · Sep 23, 2020

6 months ago today we were put into lockdown..

Stimpii · Sep 23, 2020

JLXRD said:
I think I remember reading that people in a local lockdown area can leave the area to go on holiday but still can’t mix with others in their house or stay with them but could for example meet friends in a restaurant whilst on holiday. So if they were meeting in a public place I think technically based on the rules it’s ok?

not saying it’s good or right just going off the hat the rules say re those in lockdown areas etc.. so that could be what he means in it’s allowed? Not 100 percent sure though

As she lives in a lockdown area she’s allowed to leave the area where she lives, but can’t visit anyone else even if they live in an unaffected area.

You can only mix with your household/bubble whether indoors or outdoors. So even meeting in a public outdoor space is against the rules.

BethB · Sep 23, 2020

FlipFlop0706 said:
At 18, he is of age for his own decisions. So if he goes knowing full well there is a lockdown there, then i’d say by all means go then. Calmly provide him with a link to the rules saying Liverpool is in lockdown. Don’t debate it with him, it’s a fact. Say that it’s his choice to risk a £10000 fine and that he will be the one that is held legally responsible in paying it.

In addition, with respect i do hope he is paying you rent/board. Think a little wake up call is needed in order to get you the respect you deserve. Put your foot down, you are doing the right thing

Thank you. We’ve told him he has to start paying to live at home, even a small amount and he’s refusing because he said he’s not paying to live here with restrictions.

We don’t want him to meet her, despite the fine he would be putting his family at risk if she’s from a higher risk area.

Coronavirus Disease Outbreak COVID-19 #50

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