Cleaning with Mario #67 Smell the Halitosis

[Rayne]

Early thread suggestion popped into my head inspired by tonight’s meltdown, think orange Dior in the title is a recurring theme :

Cleaning with Mario #68 He dusnae have a front and back door but he’s got a drawer full of orange Dior

 

[TooFarScone]

He needs tae get tae know what these symbols mean so aye.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Ma lovelies, oan this dayn of dawn, I've been oan a wee bronzer jurney, with not one, not two but THREE bronzers. So aye. And if youse don't know Charlotte Tilbury, then where the fuck have you been.

 

[Under_The_Influencer]

Now he’s earning money from Instagram I’m looking forward to Getting A Lift Part 2 - Tax evasion and extradition to Semichem to face his theft charges.

 

[Babybail93]

You know what would make the wee Cunt look bronzed? Getting on a fucking plane with the £200 he just wasted!

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Well good morning to youse aw. Hope youse aw love ma absolootley beautifuw blonzer, this is absolootley amazing for men especially, and women (not ma quote) it's absolootley stunning, ma absolootle stapul, honestly you buy what you get, so aye. If youse aw find spores and mould in your wee compacts, that's fine, absolootley fucking fine, they keep for years, absolootle years. So aye, follow me for more make up advice, then youse can aw get tae know.

 

[Shrekssister]

Mario hobbling into his next DLA assessment like

Are we about to go oan a holistic medicine jurnay? Mario cures his ails wae muthur erf n that

 

[IsaHen]

Mario on his next day oot ta east Kilbride

 

[mrsbucket]

It's like an old school maths equation...

If Mario buys two Charlotte Tilbury bronzers, one Dior concealer and sixty-eight overpriced AMA wax melts, how big is his Klarna bill?

 

[menopausalmargrit]

So to quote Marion in his recent video, it looks lovely on a night out, he never goes on a night out and the best one yet, it’s lovely at night on holiday, he’s never been on holiday.

Is he actually ok?

 

[Babybail93]

His latest rambling stories came out over my Alexa in the kitchen. My daughter said “eurgh I can’t stand it when you listen to that Scottish woman. She’s so rough!”

 

[paperbackwriter89]

He’s about as supportive as the buckled leg oan his console table

 

[meetmeinthebummingfort]

Look where I happened to be passing on ma travels ma lovelies. The closes next door and over the back are all boarded up so not sure why his block isn’t. Long live the bumming fort!

 

[Dawn Dayn]

If youse don't

know how to youse eleventy different brawnzas this handy paint-by-numbers chart will help.

 

[Blanche Hunt]

That question wis clearly written by him - the send buttons no even been pressed oan that. He’s obviously bitter aboot his circumstances and manages tae get a wee dig in aboot his brothers new build anaw. Imagine being almost 40 and thinking that £300 a month is expensive compared tae a mortgage. Delusional, jealous wee fanny.

 

[Babybail93]

I’m seriously contemplating setting up a wee GoFund page tae get the boys tae Majorca. Can you imagine the pure gold content!

Both at the airport. On the plane with their wee booster seats. Mario losing his shit in the Spanish Spar. Doing outfit of the day every day. Creating that sunburnt look. The beige all inclusive buffet.

It’s endless possibilities

 

[TooFarScone]

"Ma weekends are usually when a do ma Instagram but fuck that" Said on an Instagram story.

 

[IsaHen]

When is he going on this postcast?

30th Feb ma lovely

 

[TooFarScone]

This will be him on the next postcast if he's not careful

 

[BespokeBiatch]

Okay so the only thing I took away from that video is that mario needs to slow down and breathe before he speaks because he’s in such a rush to say what he’s got to say that his words come out scrambled.

My personal favourite being “you cannae live life geein everybody the same tarnish on the brush”