Cleaning with Mario #29 We just can’t fadum it. Jumping to conclusions always his delusions

[Inmyainlane]

Marlon, you’ve left a bit of Derek’s jizz oan yer face

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

I know admin would never allow it, but to honour the new waaaaful lounge wear and the impending wood-panelling / bespoke wardrobe jurnees

Cleaning with Mario #30: All dolled up and no joiner to blow

 

[Poptart]

Can anyone recommend a good how to speak Scottish course? I understand it just fine but feel left out that I cant speak fluent Mario like the rest of you.

Price point £5: It costs £5
Touch points: handles
Hoosecoat: dressing gown
Joab: job
Youse: use
Stovies: hideous slop
Absouulutteeee stapul: I sometimes use this
Flairs: floors
Bespoke: mass produced
Crapet: carpet

That's my beginners guide. I'm sure others can add to it

 

[jo14]

Thread suggestion:

In a tat cave in Paisley born and raised, in ma hoosecoat is where I spend most of my days

 

[Lilly Lou]

I actually found tonight’s stories to be quite sad! It really shows the reality of how this instahun / cleanfluencer lifestyle is bad for people’s mental health. From the sounds of it, he was pushing himself (and probably Derek too) to have the big house, wedding and now kids like all the other things these instahuns have to have - and for all the wrong reasons!! Just to post pictures of these things on Instagram to a bunch of people who are not his family or real friends!!! Life was so much simpler and people were so much happier before social media came along and tonight’s stories just proved that. It’s all about showing off and bragging and if you have a normal/regular job/lifestyle it can make you feel like you’re not good enough (hence all the spending on crap!! To keep up with the Jones who are people you will most likely never meet in your life!). He’s most likely going to spend thousands more by the sounds of it on needlessly redecorating the flat when there’s no need!! They’ve already put their money into doing it up and making it a place they like to live. Why change it now if they like it???? It’s all for Instagram and I find that quite sad! Find happiness in yourself and your partner, pet, family and friends, live within your means and don’t feel the need to bankrupt yourself (or waste thousands) needlessly to impress a bunch of people you don’t know!! The message these ‘cleanfluencers’ and home accounts send out is no longer about cleaning tips or decorating! It’s selling an unachievable lifestyle to the average joe and encouraging people to spend their money needlessly on cheap smelling products and hoarding needless items! I hope he comes to his senses for both his and Derek’s sakes and be much happier for it.

 

[ayeayecaptain]

AYE STAYING IN THE FUCKING HOUSE STRANGELY ENOUGH....

 

[Curtaintwitcher45]

The way Derek and baby gurrrl Rayne have been posed at the window makes me think Mario has murdered them both, bought a taxidermy starter kit off eBay and had them both stuffed so that they can never escape the padded tomb of doom. I particularly like the addition of the WAHHFFLE type shawl in the colour grey that he has draped over Dereks stuffed corpse. If the neighbours start complaining of the smell he’ll simply tell them than Ava May has gifted him a new wax melt in the scent ‘death’ - perfect for getting aw cosy in winter

 

[twilightgarden]

This is what Mario will turn into if he keeps up his wahhhfull chat!

My vote for the living room change is panelling in bespoke wahhhful shape.
Pure boujee

 

[menopausalmargrit]

A hope there’s nae made threads after this wan coz a named it, and me and Hannah wur takin and we kin see if anyone huz read oor messages. A mean naebody knows this bit we know, we Kin see if youse huv read it. Anyway, wit am trying tae say is naebody better read a thread efter this coz al huv seen it coz me n Hannah have tried it oot.

FOUR MILLION DOTS LATER.

Don’t even try to say youse huvnae seen it when ye huv.

 

[twilightgarden]

Mazda the whack a mole, in his straitjacket, clawing the wahful bedding with his strangler fingers is the stuff of nightmares
He’s like something out of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

 

[Badaboom]

In his fridge he now has stuff from Asda (quiche), stuff from Morrison’s (pickled onions) neither are in his ‘before’ shot AND he has bedding from B&M (?) how about you stay the fuck at home and you stop shop hopping you super spreading imbecile!

Im fine, I’m fine ...

 

[WookieCookie]

What part of only go out for essentials does this wee clown not understand. Where I live there are 2 supermarkets that have a high number of staff isolating with covid and unfortunately 2 members of staff have sadly passed away. This wee fucktard is swanning about Paisley like Dale Winton in supermarket sweep.

 

[Noseybonk]

Fuck me, he’s given wee Deek a ‘my sons got nits’ emergency haircut from the 80s

 

[MrMac83]

Can anyone recommend a good how to speak Scottish course? I understand it just fine but feel left out that I cant speak fluent Mario like the rest of you.

I am fae Scotland. I will happily give you some lessons. I am not sure you can afford the price point though ma lovelie. I am Scottish and struggle to understand the bespoke Marion most of the time. He is everything I hate about a stereotypical gay scottish man. I can just see him at the bar in Delmonicas glaring at folk thinking he is a ticket. Before you say anything I’m a gay Scottish man too. Ok ok back in ma ain Laine I go.

 

[Exhausted Pigeon]

"Is Derek rolling a massive spliff at the window or is his corpse attached to the window so it looks like he’s standing there? "

No, @twilightgarden he's waiting for Curtis to turn up on a white horse and yell... 'Derek, Derek let down your white waaafull bedding and escape over yonder railway line with me."

 

[HulaHannah]

Looking at his worktops, I'm assuming food prep and food out the oven ready to eat is being pulled out and sat next to the cooker on either side...

His bathroom vacuum cleaner is stored between the cooker and the fridge where you'd likely put down food!!!! It's bad enough he uses it to vacuum his work surfaces but to store it there, clearly giving it plenty of time for bathroom bacteria to begin to colonise on kitchen surfaces.....View attachment 388124

 

[GiftedNotFree]

I stumbled upon the “no context cleaning with Mario” Twitter page again and looooool this screenshot. Had to share it. That hair!!

 

[Nellyellie]

Not price point.... just price. Don’t over complicate it.
Imagine being in Asda. Excuse me madam, what is the price point of this lurpak!

 

[Badaboom]

Looking at his worktops, I'm assuming food prep and food out the oven ready to eat is being pulled out and sat next to the cooker on either side...

His bathroom vacuum cleaner is stored between the cooker and the fridge where you'd likely put down food!!!! It's bad enough he uses it to vacuum his work surfaces but to store it there, clearly giving it plenty of time for bathroom bacteria to begin to colonise on kitchen surfaces.....View attachment 388124

Loving your work, giving Rayn her privacy!

 

[Exhausted Pigeon]

"Hey Mario, where did you get your lyric picture from because I want one for my fave song...Common Eileen"